What to Expect the First Year (106 page)

Use doublespeak.
Use adult phrases, then translate them into baby shorthand: “Did you hurt yourself when you fell? Did Connor get a boo-boo?” “Oh, you've finished your snack. Kylie made all gone.” Talking twice as much will help baby understand twice as much.

Don't talk like a baby.
Baby talk is precious—especially when you're imitating your baby. But opting for simplified grown-up talk, rather than baby talk, will help your baby learn to speak your language faster: “Abby wants a bottle?” instead of “Baby wanna baba?” Forms like doggie or dolly, however, are always fine to use with babies—they're naturally more appealing.

Introduce pronouns.
Baby won't know a “he” from a “him” or an “I” from a “me” for at least a year to come, but that's no reason to pass by those pronouns now. Help develop familiarity with pronouns by using them along with names. “Daddy is going to get Liam breakfast—I'm going to get you breakfast.” “This book is Mommy's—it's mine. That book is Ella's—it's yours.”

Encourage talking back.
Use any ploy you can think of to get your baby to respond—and it doesn't matter if the response comes in the form of words or gestures. Ask your little chatterbox-to-be questions: “Do you want bread or crackers?” or “Do you want to wear your Elmo pajamas or the ones with Thomas on them?” or “Are you sleepy?” and then give baby a chance to answer. Any answer counts—it could be a shake of the head, a pointing finger or hand, a gesture, a grunt, or another creative preverbal response. Get baby to help you locate things (even if they aren't really lost): “Can you find the ball?” Give baby plenty of time to turn up the item, and reinforce with cheers. Even looking in the right direction should count: “That's right, there's the ball!” And remember: Never withhold something because your little one doesn't have the word power to ask for it by name or, later, when pronunciation is less than perfect, and later still, when grammar's not quite up to speed.

Keep directions simple.
Sometime around the first birthday (often before), most little ones can begin following
simple commands, but only if they're issued one step at a time. Instead of “Please pick up the spoon and give it to me,” try, “Please pick up the spoon,” and when that's been done, add, “Now, please give the spoon to Daddy.”

Correct carefully.
Don't count on your baby saying those new words perfectly for a while, or even understandably. Many consonants will be beyond your baby's reach for the next several years, and even basic words may be abbreviated (“mo mi” may mean “more milk” and “dow” signal “go down”). When your baby (age appropriately) mispronounces a word, use a subtle approach to correct—teaching without preaching—so you don't discourage next efforts. When baby looks up at the sky and says, “Moo, tar,” respond with “That's right. There's the moon and the stars.” Though baby mispronunciations are adorable, resist the temptation to repeat them, which will be confusing (baby's supposed to be learning how they should sound).

Expand your reading repertoire.
Books are a super source of new words for a baby—so call for storytime often. Baby's attention span's still too short for a cover-to-cover sitting? Keep it interesting by making reading interactive. Stop to discuss the pictures (“Look, that cat is wearing a hat!”), ask your child to point to familiar objects (naming them will come later), and name those he or she hasn't seen before or doesn't remember. Simplify language where necessary to boost comprehension, and find the rhythm in rhymes. Pretty soon your little listener will be able to fill in words that have become familiar.

Think numerically.
Counting may be a long way off for baby, but that doesn't mean numbers—and the concept of one or many—don't count now. Comments like “Here, you can have one cookie,” or “Look, see how many birds are in that tree,” or “You have two kitty cats” add basic mathematical concepts. Count, or recite, “One, two, buckle my shoe” as you climb the stairs with your baby, particularly once he or she can walk up while you hold both hands. Sing number rhymes, such as “Baa, baa, black sheep” (when you get to the “three bags full,” hold up three fingers, then bend down one finger at a time as you pretend to distribute the bags) or “This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my thumb.” Integrate counting into your baby's life: Count out your crunches, the cups of flour you're adding to the muffin batter, the banana slices you're topping baby's cereal with.

Sign up.
Using signs and hand motions for words reduces frustration for both of you by allowing your baby to communicate before he or she is able to say real words (those pudgy little fingers can speak volumes). And signing doesn't interfere with your little one's spoken language development—in fact, most experts say the reverse is true. As you teach signs, you also use your words—and talking to your baby is the best way to get him or her talking. For more on using baby signs,
click here
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Life's a game to baby these days, or actually, due to a still relatively short attention span, many different games played in rapid succession. One game that will soon become particularly engaging: dropping things (baby's finally figured out how to let go of objects), seeing them fall, watching mommy or daddy pick them up, and then repeating the sequence over and over—preferably until parental backs are aching and patience is worn thin. Push toys may become another obsession, since they help little ones who are just starting out on two feet stay steady as they go … and go … and go. If the push toy has a place to hold stuff—say, a favorite stuffed animal, a collection of blocks, mommy's wallet, daddy's keys, or anything else picked up along the way—all the better. This month you may also notice signs that your baby—small and cute though he or she still is—won't be a baby much longer. As independent mobility progresses, you'll slowly but surely begin to glimpse behaviors (the dawn of negativity, primitive temper tantrums, a mini my-way-or-the-highway mind-set) that foreshadow the theme of the year that lies ahead: I Am Toddler, Hear Me Roar.

Baby Basics at a Glance: Twelfth Month

Sleeping.
As the first birthday approaches, expect your nearly-tot to sleep around 10 to 12 hours per night, plus take two daytime naps (they might get shorter) or one longer nap—for a total of anywhere between 12 and 14 hours.

Eating.
Breast milk or formula intake tops out at about 24 ounces (or less) per day and should edge closer to 16 ounces per day by the first birthday, with solid food becoming the more important part of baby's diet. Some babies are big eaters, some are smaller eaters—which means intake will vary a lot. So what's the average? Around ¼ to ½ cup each of grains, fruit, and veggies twice a day, ¼ to ½ cup (or more) of dairy foods per day, ¼ to ½ cup (or more) of protein foods per day, and 3 to 4 ounces of juice per day (as always, juice is optional). Keep in mind that some babies will eat less as they enter the second year and as their rate of growth slows down.

Playing.
Baby's walking (or almost walking)? Pull and push toys will top the list of favorites now. So bring out the baby doll stroller, the toy shopping cart, or the activity center on wheels that baby can push around the house. Ride-on toys that push your little one toward independent mobility will also appeal to your almost-toddler. But don't neglect the old-time favorites: blocks and other stacking toys, puzzles and shape sorters, puppets, activity cubes, musical toys, crayons and markers, and, of course, books and lots of them. Role-play toys will start to play a role, too, as baby becomes more imaginative and a master mimic (think dolls, a playhouse, a play kitchen, pretend food and tableware, a toy phone, a workbench, a doctor kit).

Weaning from the breast may be just around the corner, or months (or even years) down the line. Either way, it's a big step on that long road to independence—a step that means your little one will never again be quite so dependent on you for a meal. It's also a step that's almost as big for you as it is for your baby, and one you'll want to be prepared for physically and emotionally. For support and strategies dealing with this major milestone, whenever it comes, read on.

Those early days of breastfeeding—when you fumbled through every feeding session, when you spent as much time nursing sore nipples as you did nursing your baby, when let-down often let you down—are now just a blur. These days, breastfeeding is second nature for both you and baby—something you can both do in your sleep (and probably occasionally do). You feel as if you've been breastfeeding forever—and in a way, you wish that you could breastfeed forever. At the same time, maybe you're wondering whether it's almost time to call it quits.

When to wean? While there are plenty of facts and feelings to consider, ultimately, Mom, it's up to you. Meanwhile, think on:

The facts.
You've heard this one before (over and over again): Though any amount of breastfeeding is better than none, the AAP recommends that breastfeeding continue—ideally—for at least a full year, and then for as long as both mom and baby want to keep it up. Waiting until the first birthday to wean means that the baby who has never taken formula can move directly from breast milk to cups of milk, with no formula stopgap in between—and that's definitely a plus.

Not in any hurry to wean your baby, and your baby's in no hurry to be weaned? There are no facts standing in the way of continued breastfeeding—into the second year, the third year, or even beyond. Just remember that since busy toddlers need more protein, vitamins, and other nutrients than breast milk alone can provide, they'll need to do their share of eating (and cow's milk drinking), too.

Does your breastfeeding teammate co-sleep and do a lot of all-night nipping? Just one caveat to consider: While as a group, breastfed children develop fewer cavities than those who bottle-feed, according to the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, throughout-the-night breastfeeds (which aren't necessary for an older baby anyway) can lead to dental decay—especially once carbs have been introduced into baby's diet. While the risk is far lower than it is for all-night bottle-feeders, it makes sense to avoid this potential pitfall by nursing at bedtime but not throughout the night.

Your feelings.
Are you still enjoying breastfeeding as much as ever? Are you in absolutely no rush to give up this special part of your relationship with baby? Then continue as long as you and baby like.

Or are you starting to grow weary of hauling your breasts in and out of your nursing bra (and weary of wearing nursing bras)? Are you beginning to yearn for some of the freedom and flexibility that seem but a pipe dream as long as you're piping in your baby's milk supply? Is the idea of breastfeeding a toddler just not within your comfort zone? If that sounds like your profile, you may want to consider weaning soon after baby's first birthday.

Your baby's feelings.
Is your little one restless at the breast? Indifferent when you unhook your nursing bra? Nursing for only a minute before wriggling to get down? Your baby might be telling you something. Not in so many words, but in so many actions—actions that show your little nurser may be ready to move on to the future, a future where liquid nourishment comes from a different source. Self-weaning is most likely to happen somewhere between 9 and 12 months, so if your baby seems to want to bid the breast bye-bye, it may be time to let go. Just remember, taking those first steps to self-weaning doesn't mean your baby is rejecting you—only the milk delivery service you've been providing.

Of course, it's very possible to misinterpret a baby's signals. At 5 months, lack of interest in nursing may only be a sign of your little one's growing interest in the world around him or her. (Who has time to nurse when there are so many bright, shiny objects vying for baby's attention?) At 7 months, it may suggest a craving for getting-up-and-going that outweighs any craving for hunkering-down-and-eating. At 9 months or later, it may be the first sign of an emerging independent streak—and a preference for sipping fluids from a cup. And at any
age, it could be a response to distractions (nursing in a dark, quiet room can minimize those), a stuffy nose (it's hard to breathe when your nose is stuffed and your mouth is stuffed with a nipple), or teething (ouch!).

Your baby is as attached to the breast as ever—maybe more so? It's possible that he or she will never be the one to take the initiative in weaning, which means weaning will be your call when the time comes. That's just as common, and just as normal.