What to Expect the Toddler Years (102 page)

A hearing check; a vision check (to see if eyes are properly aligned).

Depending on need, the following may be included:

A finger-stick blood test (hematocrit or hemoglobin) if the child is at risk of anemia. The test may be done once routinely between 12 months and 4 years.

A blood draw to screen for lead, depending on where you live, or if exposure is suspected.

A Mantoux tuberculin test for children at high risk.

Immunizations
.
Catch up immunizations, if any have previously been missed.

Other-need-to-know advice.
The doctor or nurse-practitioner will probably discuss good parenting practices, injury prevention, appropriate toys and play activities, nutrition, sleep, toilet learning, child care, preschool, language development, and other issues that will be important to you in the year ahead.

The next checkup
. If your toddler is in good health, the next checkup will be at three years. Until then, be sure to call the doctor if you have any questions that aren’t answered in this book or if your child shows any signs of illness or other problems. Though you likely won’t see the pediatrician for a well visit until next year, there’s a good chance that you’ll be in the office for a sick visit sometime in the next 12 months.

“We’re planning our daughter’s second birthday party. How elaborate should we get at this age?”

Don’t saddle up those ponies or start flipping through the Yellow Pages for merry-go-round rentals yet. To avoid a toddler rendition of “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” your best bet is to plan the fête around these four “S’s”: small, simple, sensible, and short. This won’t guarantee a perfect party (there are no guarantees when it comes to two-year-olds), but it’ll help reduce the risk of disaster and improve the odds of a happy, memorable event.

The right guest list.
Your best bet for a two-year-old’s birthday party is a guest list made up primarily of adults your toddler
knows well and likes. If you plan to include other two-year-olds in the festivities, don’t go overboard. The commonly accepted practice of “one guest for every year” may add up to one guest too many at this age. A twosome—your party girl and a single compatible playmate—would make for better company. But if you’re obliged to invite more than one toddler (if your child belongs to a play group, for example), try to keep the numbers even, so the children can play in pairs. Since there’s no predicting how well your guests will separate from their parents, giving moms and dads the option of staying for all or part of the party will minimize the potential for tears.

If you’re hosting other toddlers, one guest you don’t want at the party is the family pet. Some children are afraid of dogs or cats, others are allergic, and even the most well-mannered pet can act unpredictably in a roomful of noisy, active children. Confine any pets away from the festivities.

The right time
.
When it comes to planning anything around a toddler—dinner out, a trip to the museum, or a successful birthday party—timing is all. Schedule the party to accommodate your toddler’s routine. Avoid nap times (as well as the times right before and right after), hungry times (even if there’s going to be food at the party, feed your toddler before the guests arrive so that hunger won’t trigger high anxiety), and chronically cranky times. For many children, late morning or early afternoon are best. And remember, keeping the party short (one to one-and-a-half hours) will make it easier for your toddler to stay sweet.

The right place.
For the two-year-old, a party at home, indoors or out, is the most comfortable. She isn’t yet ready for a bash at the museum or the local gymnastics center. Keep safety in mind as you plan the setting. Even if your child is pretty reliable on stairs, other children might not be, so be sure staircases are blocked. Look around for other potential party dangers—folding chairs that might fold up unexpectedly on a child, tiny Legos or other dangerous toys, or sharp objects (the cake knife, for example) in an easy-to-reach place, bathroom doors left open by guests, and so on.

Another option is to stage a small celebration at your toddler’s day-care center or play group, bringing along cup-cakes and a few other treats to be served at snack time.

The right help.
It’s difficult to host a party for more than three or four toddlers without help. If your guest list includes more than a couple of children and you’re not keen on putting other parents to work, consider hiring a teenager or two to help herd the toddlers and supervise the activities.

The right supplies
.
Use a light hand in decorating; anything else may overwhelm. It’s fine to indulge in party paraphernalia that features your toddler’s favorite Disney or
Sesame Street
character. But a cloth or washable plastic table covering may be a better idea than a paper one, which could be torn early in the festivities. Add some streamers and, if you like, a few mylar balloons. Do not use latex balloons, which pose a serious choking hazard when popped or deflated. They’re also an environmental hazard; see page 428 for more ways to go green at a toddler party. Also avoid masks, noisemakers, and anything else that might frighten young guests.

The right fare.
Serve foods and beverages that are safe for toddlers (see page 536). Many favorite party munchables—nuts, mini-franks, popcorn, whole grapes—are notorious toddler choking hazards; even when they’re not meant for toddler consumption, they can easily get into the wrong hands, and thus, the wrong mouths. Alcohol, a poison for young
children, is risky, too; it takes only seconds for a toddler to drain a glass of rum punch set down on a coffee table by an adult. For everyone’s good health, limit or eliminate sugary treats. To minimize mess, opt for small cupcakes over sliced cake and serve frozen yogurt or ice cream in mini-cones. To protect your home, avoid purple grape juice and other deeply hued punches and drinks; pear or apple juice will be safer for your home and your guests’ clothing.

If you’re serving more than cake and ice cream, consider such finger foods as: string cheese sticks, cheese cubes or triangles; toasted cheese, peanut butter and jelly, or plain peanut butter sandwiches cut into shapes (if no one at the party is allergic); thin layers of peanut butter spread on thin apple or pear slices; pizza squares or triangles; and small melon cubes.

For safety’s sake, make sure that the children eat only while they’re sitting down (running around while snacking can lead to choking accidents) and that at least one adult supervises them while they eat. The eating-while-seated rule will also protect your furniture and carpets from spills.

The right activities.
Magicians, clowns (with scary make-up), storytellers (with scary masks) can all frighten two-year-olds. It’s better to avoid such formal entertainment. Try instead:

Games—Stick to games where everybody is a winner (toddlers don’t always lose gracefully). Such noncompetitive circle games as London Bridge, the Farmer in the Dell, and Ring-Around-the-Rosie work well.

Dancing—Just turn on the music and let the children dance their excess energy away.

Singing—Lead the group in renditions of “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” “The Wheels on the Bus,” and other songs from the toddler hit parade.