What to Expect the Toddler Years (160 page)

Make honesty
your
policy. Nothing teaches a toddler to be honest better than a parent’s example. Be truthful in your dealings—large and small. Don’t tell your toddler that taking the splinter out won’t hurt, when you know it may; don’t tell the train conductor your three-year-old is only two in order to pay a reduced fare; don’t tell friends you can’t join them for dinner because you’re down with the flu, when the truth is you’d rather catch a movie; don’t tell a neighbor you have no idea who trampled her flower bed when you know your dog is the guilty party. Even “little white lies” can compromise a child’s understanding of the value of honesty; see page 461.

If you do fib, and your child catches you, admit that you’ve made a mistake—so that he or she will feel free to own up in a similar situation.

It was only yesterday, or so it seems, that you brought that precious little bundle home from the hospital—only yesterday that you gave that first bath, first shampooed that downy head, first trimmed those tiny fingernails. That precious little bundle’s not a baby anymore—but though growing up all too fast, your toddler still requires plenty of care. Besides the baths, shampoos, and trims, you need to attend to your toddler’s eyes and ears, skin and teeth, dressing and undressing—and, in the process, begin teaching your child the fundamentals of self-care, too. The tips in this chapter should make it easier.

Keeping a baby’s skin baby soft isn’t always smooth going; keeping a toddler’s skin soft can be even rougher. Since the sebaceous glands, which will eventually lubricate and protect the skin, don’t kick in until the hormones start flowing just before puberty, young skin is especially prone to dryness. A toddler’s skin is even more vulnerable than an infant’s, for a couple of reasons. One, being constantly on the go, indoors and out, toddlers are exposed more to skin-chafing elements. Two, toddlers get dirtier—and both the dirt and the cleaning up can irritate tender skin.

But there are some ways to prevent the moisture loss that causes dryness and to help replenish the moisture when dry skin strikes:

Avoid overheating.
When the mercury dips outside, it’s always tempting to send the mercury soaring inside. But dry, overheated air leads to overdry skin, particularly for toddlers. So during the heating season, try to keep your home between 65°F and 68° during the day and between 60° and 65° at night. Instead of turning up the thermostat, keep the family cozy in heavy sweats or sweaters during the day and flannel pajamas or warm sleepers at night.

Protect from the elements.
Moisturizer (see next column) or a thin layer of petroleum jelly will protect exposed skin from the drying, irritating effects of severe cold and wind.

Limit bathing.
Though most toddlers get dirty enough daily to warrant a nightly scrub in the tub, daily bathing can be both trying and drying. If your toddler’s skin is very dry, give baths every other day or less often, spot-cleaning or sponge-bathing between tubbings. When you do bathe your toddler, use lukewarm water instead of hot (hotter water is more drying) and do not use bubble bath, which can be irritating as well as drying. Keep baths (and showers, which are even more drying than baths) relatively brief, so your toddler doesn’t dry out from the soaking. Though the addition of bath oil can sometimes help prevent drying, they can make the tub slippery—and thus treacherous for a toddler. Also, some toddlers may be sensitive to some of the ingredients in bath oil—perfumes and dyes, for example.

Be soap savvy.
Use a very mild, super-fatted soap (such as Basis or fragrance-free Dove) or a soapless cleanser (such as Moisturel Liquid or Lowila Cake). Don’t use soaps that contain deodorants or perfumes. Also avoid anti bacterial soaps, which don’t really wash away more germs than plain soap does (even hospitals, for the most part, use plain soap), and can also be irritating, causing redness or scaling. Long-term use may eventually promote the growth of resistant bacterial strains.

Use even the gentlest of soaps sparingly, soaping up only as needed (where dirt is most obvious, and around the buttocks and genitals).

Don’t rub-a-dub-dub after the tub.
Always
pat
your toddler’s skin dry instead of rubbing it.

Moisturize.
Apply moisturizer after the bath while your child’s skin is still slightly moist. It can also be reapplied before bedtime and before going out, if necessary.

The best moisturizers for a toddler’s skin contain both water (to replenish moisture) and oil (to seal it in), omit fragrances, and include few if any chemical additives. You can ask your child’s doctor to suggest a moisturizer, or use a product such as Eucerin, Moisturel, Neutrogena Emulsion, Vaseline lotions, Aveeno Lotion, or Lubriderm Cream. For extremely dry skin, a cream may be more effective than a lotion, although it won’t be as easy to apply.

If your child’s dry skin becomes worse after you’ve applied a moisturizer, or if a rash or other eruption develops (even “hypoallergenic” or “natural”—a term that means very little since the definition is unregulated by law—products can trigger a reaction in sensitive children), stop using the product immediately. Try a moisturizer with different ingredients, or ask your child’s doctor for a recommendation.

Keep those fluids coming.
Inadequate fluid intake, too, can lead to, among other problems, dry skin. So make sure your toddler gets enough fluids (see page 508). Be especially aware of fluid intake if your toddler has just been weaned and is still working out the kinks of drinking from a cup.

Be wary in warm weather.
When temperatures soar, the toddler needs protection not from dryness but from heat rash and sun. Lotions, creams, and oils are unnecessary for all but the driest skin in the summer. In fact, especially if they are thick (petroleum jelly, for example), they can make the skin more uncomfortable, and by blocking the evaporation of moisture, lead to heat rash (also known as prickly heat). Both exposure to sun and overdressing can also add to skin distress in hot weather. See below for sun-protection tricks, page 499 for warm-weather clothing, and page 473 for how to treat heat rash, if it does develop.

On an average day, a variety of substances (ranging from saliva and mucus to jelly and tomato sauce) manage to find their way onto a toddler’s face, where they’re promptly smeared from cheek to cheek, causing redness and irritation—especially in winter, when skin is already extra dry. Frequent face-washings (as parents strive to remove these substances) often compound the chafing.

If your toddler’s cheeks turn apple red with the first frost and stay that way until the tulips come up, some special attention is needed. To minimize facial chapping:

Pat the face dry with a soft cloth after each washing and whenever there’s been excessive drooling.

Avoid using soap on your toddler’s face. When more than water is needed, use those recommended on page 465.

Gently wipe your child’s face with warm water immediately after meals to remove any traces of food and pat dry promptly. If you notice that a particular food or beverage is especially irritating to the skin (common offenders are those that are high in acid, such as citrus fruits and juices, strawberries, and tomatoes or tomato sauces), avoid serving it to your toddler until the chafing has cleared.

Soothe chapped skin with a mild moisturizer (see page 465). Spreading petroleum jelly on cheeks, chin, and nose before going out in cold weather may also be protective, especially for a teething toddler who is drooling a lot or a toddler with a runny nose.

The Australians, who live in a part of the world where the sun’s rays are particularly intense, have a word for it, or rather three words: slip, slap, slop (
slip
on a shirt,
slap
on a hat,
slop
on some sun-screen). They’ve got the right idea.