What to Expect the Toddler Years (156 page)
Read What to Expect the Toddler Years Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
Be a stingy server.
Instead of serving cups with juice filled to the brim, just begging to be upended, pour an inch or so at a time and refill as needed. Instead of cutting huge slabs of cake and doling out double scoops of ice cream, inviting both waste and food play, start with small portions, and hand out seconds to those who finish firsts and ask for more. An important peace-keeping reminder: If there are special decorations or favors on the cake, either don’t serve them at all or make sure that every young guest gets a share.
Put safety first.
When planning the menu, steer clear of foods children can choke on. While many three-year-olds have the requisite molars and chewing capabilities to handle such foods as hot dogs, popcorn, and grapes, others are still at risk for choking on these items—particularly when they’re laughing or running around while eating. To play it safe, don’t serve any of the foods listed on page 536, and insist that the children stay seated when eating.
Eschew formal entertainment.
While some three-year-olds may delight in a pony ride or a sword-swallowing magician, such splashy amusements may reduce others to tears. If you feel compelled to hire someone to perform at your party, an enthusiastic, but not wildly histrionic, storyteller might be the best bet. A singer who specializes in children’s music may also be a hit. Avoid costumed performers; no matter how charming they may appear to you, they can spook some of the younger guests. Performers who shape balloons into animals will be popular—until the balloons pop (at which point they can also present a choking hazard).
Play games—for fun.
Keep games short and avoid those that promote competition; three-year-olds are not known for their sporting attitudes. Some possibilities: Duck, Duck, Goose; London Bridge; Dance the Hokey Pokey; Farmer in the Dell; Musical Statues (everyone freezes when the music stops). Encourage participation, but don’t force guests to play. Do have more activities planned
than you think you’ll need. You don’t have to get to them all, but if you run out mid-party—gulp!
Get crafty.
Crafts projects that are simple enough for all participants to handle are a perfect way to pass party time happily. Letting kids make something that they can take home (rather than having them work on a group project to leave behind) is best, and gives each a personalized party favor. Check with a local crafts or toy store for projects that are appropriate for three-year-olds. Possibilities: making their own puzzles, birthday crowns, mobiles, placemats, nature collages, finger puppets. To avoid nasty struggles over the glue or the markers, make sure to stock ample supplies of everything they’ll need to complete the projects.
Skip prizes.
The only way you can distribute prizes to a group of three-year-olds is to give everyone a prize for each activity. It’s easiest and best to enjoy the activity for the fun of it, not the reward.
Put it in writing.
So that you won’t forget anything in the chaos, make a party schedule that includes activities and the times they are slated for. Put the list and all of the supplies you’ll need for games and crafts in a carton or basket in a central place, out of reach of curious young guests.
Think ahead.
Hand out party bags at the very end of the party, as children walk out the door, to prevent guests breaking or misplacing favors before they go. Have extras of edibles, should a slice of cake find its way onto the floor or a scoop of ice cream topple off its cone, and to offer any siblings who might arrive with parents at pickup time.
“He’s doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing for his age,” was once music to parents’ ears, comforting confirmation that their child was healthy, normal, and developing at just the right rate. But in today’s achievement-oriented, competitive society, it seems that many parents want more. They want their children to be healthy and normal, of course, but they also want them to be developing a little faster and a little better than the rest—doing
more
than they’re supposed to be doing for their age. They want them to be precocious, gifted, talented, and accomplished, to have an edge. They want them to be
superchildren
.
Is it because these parents want the best for their children that they want them to be the best? Sometimes. But sometimes, there are other motivating factors. Parents who missed getting into an Ivy League college are bent on rearing Harvard-bound children. Parents who were mediocre athletes are intent on their children excelling on the court, the playing field, the slopes. Parents who could never manage more than “chopsticks” on the piano are determined that their children be weaned to Chopin. Parents who were never completely satisfied with their lot want a lot more for their children. Parents who consider their children a reflection of themselves want their children to reflect well. Even parents who don’t philosophically believe in pushing often end up pushing—if only so their children won’t fall behind the rest.
INTRODUCING THE ABC’s AND 1, 2, 3’s
With at least a dozen years of schooling ahead for your child (twenty or more, if college and graduate school are in the cards), there’s no reason to rush formal learning. Early childhood should be a time for the unencumbered enjoyment of simple pleasures: running through the sprinkler, playing house, riding a trike around the playground, making snow angels, splashing in the wading pool, collecting pinecones in the park.
Yet many toddlers take a natural, early interest in letters and numbers. And as long as exposure to these building blocks of learning is fun, unpressured, and toddler inspired, there’s no reason why parents can’t introduce the ABC’s and 1,2,3’s at this early age. Here’s how:
Nurture a love of books and reading (see page 101). As letter identification starts to interest your toddler, look for alphabet books that link letters to familiar objects.
Stimulate an interest in science in your toddler (see page 456).
Post your toddler’s name, in simple block letters, on the door of his or her room.
Put posters up on the walls, with lots of colorful pictures and big bright letters.
Label toy shelves: “blocks,” “dolls,” “books,” and so on. By each word, you can also place a picture of the object, so your toddler can begin to associate the two.
Count steps when you climb stairs, cookies and crackers as you dole them out, T-shirts as you fold them, oranges as you select them in the market, blocks as you put them away.
Play lotto, bingo, animal dominoes—all of these teach premath and prereading skills in a fun way. Look for games, puzzles, and other toys for preschoolers that also teach letter and number recognition. Be sure they are age-appropriate or you’ll frustrate your toddler’s natural curiosity.
Cut sandwiches and cookies into triangles, circles, squares, and rectangles. Learning to recognize shapes is a prereading skill.
In the course of a normal day, casually point out familiar signs, such as: EXIT, WALK, DON’T WALK, STOP, and ONE WAY. But don’t go overboard with reading everything that’s around you out loud unless your child starts asking, “What’s that say?”
Write your child’s name on drawings and paintings, and as you write, chant the letters out loud (L-I-Z spells Liz).
When your toddler expresses an interest, show how to write his or her name, starting with one letter at a time. Often children will express particular interest in finding out what words start with the same letter as their name: “R is for Ryan, it’s also for rabbit.”
Put up and use a message board. Being in a letter-rich environment exposes a toddler to important prereading skills.