What to Expect the Toddler Years (6 page)

Use the “What Your Toddler May Be Doing Now” sections of this book to check progress periodically, if you like, but don’t use them to make judgments about your toddler’s potential—they are not predictive. If you find yourself obsessed with comparing your child to the averages, you may be better off looking at the milestone scales rarely, or not at all. Your child will develop just as well—and you (and your toddler) may be happier.

Keep in mind that the questions and issues discussed in each chapter are less specific to that month or period than was true in our book
What to Expect the First Year.
Be sure to use the index to help you find the answers to your concerns.

Also remember that toddlers, like babies, don’t develop in a smooth, linear progression. There are lots of bumps and humps, spurts and lulls. The period before a big step is often one of disorganization—nothing seems to go right; then all of a sudden, the child is walking or talking up a storm. Seemingly stagnant periods, in which there appears to be no progress at all, are actually spent polishing and expanding new skills; they are necessary to normal development. Progress may slow, too, or even slide backward, during times of stress. With adequate support at such times, toddlers usually get right back on the forward track.

There’s more than one way to raise a family these days. Though the so-called “traditional” home—where a married couple raise the children together—is still perceived as the norm, half of all American children under eighteen are being raised in nontraditional homes. Sometimes by choice, more often by circumstance, more and more families are headed by single parents, usually mothers. And while they’re still a small minority, other types of nontraditional families—including those headed by solo fathers, unmarried heterosexual or same-sex couples, mothers and fathers sharing custody in separate homes, and grandparents raising grandchildren—are also growing in number.

This book is meant for all kinds of families—traditional and nontraditional. For the sake of simplicity as well as syntax, we sometimes refer to the traditional family rather than trying to address every conceivable family configuration. But such references are not meant to exclude or offend those living in less traditional arrangements. For more on nontraditional families, see
Chapter Twenty-Five
.

By the end of this month,
*
your toddler
. . . should be able to (see
Note
):

pull up to standing position

get into a sitting position

cruise (move from place to place, always holding on)

clap hands (play “patty-cake”)

indicate wants in ways other than crying

Note:
If your toddler has not reached these milestones or doesn’t use his or her hands for purposeful activities like picking things up, consult the doctor or nurse-practitioner. This rate of development may well be normal for your child (some children are late bloomers), but it needs to be evaluated. Also check with the doctor if your toddler seems unresponsive, doesn’t smile, makes few or no sounds, doesn’t seem to hear well, is perpetually irritable, or demands constant attention. (Remember, the one-year-old who was born prematurely often lags behind others of the same chronological age. This developmental gap progressively narrows and generally disappears entirely around age two.)

. . . will probably be able to:

put an object into a container (by 12½ months)

imitate activities (by 12½ months)

stand alone (by 12½ months)

use 1 recognizable word

. . . may possibly be able to:

drink from a cup

use 2 recognizable words (by 12½ months)