What to expect when you're expecting (192 page)

Take One for the Team

Are your immunizations up to date? Get your TdaP shot as well as seasonal flu vaccine (and other booster shots you may need) to protect the precious baby who’s joined the family. Seventy percent of babies who get whooping cough are infected by immediate family members—including dads.

“Now that my wife’s breastfeeding, I can’t help feeling differently about her breasts. They seem too functional to be sexy.”

Like the vagina, breasts were designed to serve both a practical and a sexual purpose (which, from a procreative perspective, is also practical). And though these purposes aren’t mutually exclusive in the long run, they can conflict temporarily during lactation.

Some couples find breastfeeding a sexual turn-on, especially if breasts are full for the first time. Others, for aesthetic reasons (leaking milk, for instance) or because they feel uncomfortable about using the baby’s source of nourishment for their sexual pleasure, find it a very definite turn-off. They may find this effect wears off, however, as breastfeeding becomes more second nature for all concerned.

Whatever turns you on—or off—is what is normal for you. If you feel your wife’s breasts are too functional to be sexy now, focus foreplay elsewhere until you’ve become more comfortable sharing them with baby (or until baby has been weaned). Be sure, however, to be open and honest with your wife. Taking a sudden, unexplained hands-off approach to her breasts could leave her feeling unappealing. Be careful, also, not to harbor any resentment against the baby for sharing the breasts you love so much; try to think of nursing as a temporary “loan” instead. And enjoy the “interest” that comes with the loan—a healthy, well-fed newborn.

S
O YOU PROBABLY EXPECT TO DEAL
with at least a few of the less pleasant pregnancy symptoms during your nine-month stint (a little morning sickness, a few leg cramps, some indigestion and exhaustion), but maybe you weren’t planning on coming down with a nasty cold or an ugly (and itchy) infection. The truth is, pregnant women can get sick with the best of them—and even better than the best of them, since suppression of the normal immune system makes expectant moms easier targets for germs of every variety. What’s more, being sick for two can make you at least twice as uncomfortable—especially since so many of the remedies you’re used to reaching for may need to stay behind medicine cabinet doors for a while.

Fortunately, such pregnancy- unrelated illnesses won’t affect your pregnancy (though they may affect the way you feel). Prevention is, of course, the best way to avoid getting sick in the first place and to keep that healthy glow of pregnancy going strong. But when it fails (as when a coworker brings the flu to the office, your nephew’s wet kisses are loaded with cold germs, or you pick up some bacteria with those fresh-picked blueberries), quick treatment, in most cases under the supervision of your practitioner, can help you feel better fast.

“I’m sneezing, coughing, and my head is killing me. Can this nasty cold affect my baby?”

Common colds are even more common when you’re pregnant because your normal immune system is suppressed. The good news is that you’re the only one those nasty bugs will be bugging. Your baby can’t catch your cold or be affected by it in any way. The not-so-good news: The medications and supplements that you might be used to reaching for to find relief (or to prevent a cold), including aspirin and ibuprofen, megadoses of vitamins, and most herbs, are usually off limits when you’re expecting (see
page 509
for information on taking medications during pregnancy). So before you pick the shelves of the drugstore clean, pick up the phone and call your practitioner to ask which remedies are considered safe in pregnancy, as well as those that will work best in your case—there will probably be several you can choose from. (If you’ve already taken a few doses of a medication that isn’t recommended for use during pregnancy, don’t worry. But do check with your practitioner for extra reassurance.)

Even if your standard cold medication is shelved for now, you don’t have to suffer (or play mother-to-be martyr) when you’re laid up in bed with a runny nose and hacking cough—or even if you just feel a cold coming on. Some of the most effective cold remedies don’t come in a bottle and are also the safest for both you and your baby. These tips can help nip a cold in the bud, before it blossoms into a nasty case of sinusitis or another secondary infection, while helping you to feel better faster. At the very first sneeze or tickle in the throat:

Rest, if you feel the need. Taking a cold to bed doesn’t necessarily shorten its duration, but if your body is begging for some rest, be sure to listen. On the other hand, if you feel up to it (and you’re not running a fever or coughing), light to moderate exercise can actually help you feel better faster.

Don’t starve your cold, fever—or baby. Eat as nutritiously as you can, given how crummy you feel and how little appetite you probably have. Choose foods that appeal to you or at least don’t turn you off completely. Try to have some citrus fruit or juice (oranges, tangerines, grapefruit) as well as plenty of other fruits and vegetables rich in vitamin C every day, but don’t take extra vitamin C supplements (beyond what comes in your pregnancy vitamin supplement) without medical approval. The same holds true for zinc and echinacea.

Flood yourself with fluids. Fever, sneezes, and a runny nose will cause your body to lose fluids that you and your baby need. Warm beverages will be particularly soothing, so keep a thermos of a hot drink or hot soup next to your bed and try to drink at least a cupful an hour. Water and cold juices work fine, too, if that’s what you’re thirsting for.

When you’re lying down or sleeping, use a couple of pillows to keep your head elevated. This will make it easier for you to breathe through a stuffy nose. Nasal strips (which gently pull your nasal passages open, making breathing easier) may help, too. They’re sold over the counter and are completely drug free.

Keep your nasal passages moist with a humidifier and by squirting the inside of your nose with saline nose drops (which are also drug free and completely safe).

If your throat is sore or scratchy, or if you’re coughing, gargle with salt water (
¹
/
₄
teaspoon of salt to 8 ounces of warm water).

Try to bring down a fever promptly. For more on fever treatment, see
page 497
.

Don’t put off calling the doctor or refuse to take a medication he or she prescribes because you think all drugs are harmful in pregnancy. Many are not. But do be sure the prescribing doctor knows you’re expecting.