Whatever He Wants (37 page)

 
     
It was the first times she admitted she
was in love with him. James had suspected she had feelings for him when he’d
made the biggest mistake of his life and made her his mistress, but he’d
ignored them, telling himself she loved his money and lifestyle. He didn’t dare
ask how she felt about him now because he feared he had killed any good feeling
she had left for him. “I’m
sor
—”

 
     
She held up her hand, stopping him
mid-sentence. “Don’t apologize anymore, James.
It’s
okay, because you see, I forgive you. I have to in order to forgive
myself.  The very first instance I realized you didn’t feel the same for
me, I should have walked away. Even when I knew you were seeing someone and was
eventually engaged to her, I kept lying to myself.”

 
     
“That’s over Noelle. Eleanor and I are no
longer engaged.”

 
     
She raised her eyebrows and opened her
mouth but she remained mute.

 
     
“I didn’t love her. I couldn’t go through
with marrying her when I had feelings for someone else.
You.”

 
     
“James…”

 
     
“I know it’s probably too late Noelle
but—”

 
     
“James, there you are. I was looking for
you.” Eleanor walked over to them and touched his arm lightly. To the outside
observer, that touch might have appeared like an intimate gesture, but Eleanor
was just the touchy-feely type with people she was comfortable with.

 
     
Noelle, who had only
moments before seemed like she was willing to finally listen to him, visibly
shut down.
Her mouth clenched and her eyes narrowed as she shot him an
accusatory glare.

 
     
“Ah, Noelle,” Eleanor turned to her. “I’m
so glad I got to see you before you ran off. The cupcake tower looks amazing,
the children will love it. Why don’t you stick around for a while to enjoy the
event? I’m sure a lot of people will want to know where we ordered that
wonderful display from.”

 
     
Noelle, whose angry stare was still
focused on James, shook her head. “No. I have other deliveries to make. But
thank you. I’ve left some cards by the display in case anyone wants to contact
the bakery, although my business partner usually handles all the details.”

 
     
“Oh, yes, Paul. I talked to him at length.
I’m very pleased to see the order is even better than I envisioned it would be.
You do excellent work.”

 
     
Noelle turned to Eleanor. “Thank you.
Well, I have to get going. Good luck with your event and glad you liked the
cupcake tower.” She was about to leave but James couldn’t let her go like this,
not with her thinking he was a liar.

 
     
“Noelle, wait!” He reached out and caught
her hand. “Eleanor and I—”

 
     
She ripped her hand away from his. “Stop
it. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Noelle practically
ran out the building.

 
     
“Shit.”

 
     
“I really messed this one up didn’t I?
That’s what I get for interfering.” Eleanor
said,
her
voice heavy with regret.

 
     
James was torn between going after Noelle
and finding out what Eleanor meant. He finally turned to Eleanor because he
knew Noelle wouldn’t be receptive to him. “What do you mean? You didn’t do
anything wrong by coming over here.”

 
     
“That’s not what I meant. I’ve really
stuck my nose in it. Remember when we were at the gallery?”

 
     
“Yes,” he answered slowly.

 
     
“It was my assistant who suggested I order
cupcakes for the kids at this event and the wheels started spinning in my head.
Shortly after the gallery event I learned the woman you couldn’t take your eyes
off of was the same person who’d done those fantastic cakes at the gallery. So
I thought I’d hire her bakery to do the job in hopes of the two of you seeing
each other. It’s why I stressed how much I wanted you to come today. It was
none of my business to interfere, but you’ve looked so miserable lately and I
wanted to help you in some way for all the help you’ve given me. Call me a
hopeless romantic, but please don’t be mad at me, James.”

 
     
James wished she hadn’t interfered but
Eleanor had meant well, so there was no point in taking out his frustration on
her. He sighed. “Don’t worry about it. I appreciate your good intentions but
I’m beginning to think that ship has sailed.”

 
     
“Don’t say that. I can see you still care
for her. If it weren’t for my lousy timing you two would still be talking. I
should have let the two of you be.”

 
     
“It’s all right. Look, I really need to
get going. I have the funeral.”

 
     
“James, don’t give up on love. Okay? You
know about my issues. Because I’m not brave enough to live my truth yet, I let
someone really special get away. Don’t ever stop fighting if there’s even a
smidgeon of a chance the two of you can find happiness together.”

 
     
This was the first time he’d heard Eleanor
mention someone else in her life. He’d been so wrapped up in his own misery he
didn’t notice hers.

 
     
“And it’s too late for you, Eleanor?”

 
     
“Yes. She’s moved on and is happy. Me on
the other hand, I’m paying my penance. I see a lot of me in you, James. I think
that’s why we’ve become fast friends.”

 
     
“I think at this point, I may have to give
her as much space as she needs.”

 
     
“Hmm, if you think so.”
She didn’t seem satisfied with his answer but thankfully didn’t elaborate.

 
     
“I’m heading out now but I’ll be in
touch.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

 
     
“Sure.”

 
     
James believed his pain had dulled, but
seeing Noelle again had brought it back in full force.

 
     
By the time Noelle returned to the bakery,
Donna and Lisa were closing down everything. The shop closed earlier on the
weekends and she was grateful for the reprieve. After unloading the van and
locking up, Noelle headed to her office, and fell in her chair with a heavy
sigh.

 
     
Paul stuck his head inside. “How’d it go?”

 
     
“On a business level we did great. Quite a
few people asked for a card.”

 
     
“But…?”

 
     
“But James was there.
With
his fiancée.
I talked to him and he told me he was no longer engaged.
And then guess who shows up? It was her event actually. Did you know this,
Paul?”

 
     
“I arranged everything with a Harriet
Smith,
I’m assuming that must have been her assistant. I
might have talked to her once but I honestly didn’t make the connection. If I
would have known I wouldn’t have taken the job.”

 
     
Noelle shook her head. “Don’t be silly.
Business is business. I just wish I would have been better prepared for the
confrontation. Actually I’m kind of glad I ran into James. It’s reinforced my
resolve to stay away from him. He almost had me convinced.”

 
     
“What do you mean?”

 
     
“James was here a few months ago and
things got a little out of hand. I didn’t tell you or Simone because I didn’t
want the two of you to judge me.”

 
     
“Besides the time he came when I was
here?”

 
     
“Yes.”

 
     
“I have a confession of my own. I already
know.”

 
     
“How?”

 
     
“I overheard the girls talking about a “
hottie
” going to your office where they heard some moaning
and groaning.”

 
     
Noelle’s face grew hot from her
embarrassment. When the girls hadn’t said anything to her about it, she assumed
they might not have known what was going on, but this was confirmation they
did. “Oh no,” she groaned.

 
     
“Don’t worry. I had a long conversation
with them about spreading gossip in the workplace and I made it abundantly
clear their jobs depend on it. But I’m sure you’ll be more discreet next time.”

 
     
“It was just a one-time thing. If you knew
about it, why haven’t you ever said anything?”

 
     
“Because I figured you’d tell me when you
were ready. So what happened? I’m sure there’s more to the story than just you
two bumping
uglies
.”

 
     
“He was a mess.”

 
     
“A mess in what way?”

 
     
“He was disheveled. I’d never seen him
look like that before. And then he broke down and cried like he lost everything
he had in world. It was really awkward at first because I didn’t know how to
react. But I could tell he was in a lot of pain. So I gave him comfort and that
led to more.”

 
     
Paul raised a brow in apparent disbelief.
“Are we talking about James?’

 
     
“Yes.”

 
     
“James Rothschild?”

 
     
“Yes.”

 
     
“James Rothschild my former boss,
billionaire, CEO James Rothschild?”

 
     
“Yes! There’s only one James we both know.
Look, I was just as surprised as you are right now and I was there.”

 
     
“It just seems so out of character for
him. Did he ever say what had upset him?”

 
     
“No, we never got that far. That’s when
Donna and Lisa knocked on the door to see if everything was okay. I haven’t
seen him again since today.”

 
     
“I see.”

 
     
“That’s all you have to say, Paul?”
Usually her friend was quite outspoken when it came to James. He had never been
shy in telling her to cut him off completely so his silence now, baffled her.

 
     
“I’m not sure if there’s anything I can
say. I know he hurt you and I saw how devastated you were over him. I wouldn’t
wish that pain on my worst enemy, let alone someone I’ve come to care about as
much as you. But you’re not over him, are you?”

 
     
She wasn’t but she was loath to admit it
to someone other than herself. “What makes you think that?”

 
     
“That was a yes or no question, Noelle.
But I guess I have my answer. Maybe the two of you need to have a talk in order
for you to move on. You won’t be able to close that chapter of your life unless
you finish writing it.”

 
     
That made more sense than she was willing
to admit, but seeing James with his fiancée again had opened old wounds. When
he’d declared his love for her, a brief second she was ready to admit she still
loved him too.
Almost.
Noelle wasn’t sure she had the
strength to see him again without shattering the little bit of self-confidence
she’d managed to build. She wanted to believe she’d hold firm with him but
James Rothschild was the Kryptonite to her Superman.

 
     
“You may be right but I don’t trust myself
around him. What if I do something stupid again?”

 
     
“And what if you don’t? You’ll never know.
To be quite honest, I never thought James was a terrible person, I just didn’t
like how he treated you. I am by no means advocating you give him another
chance but you two need to hash out your issues, otherwise you’ll be stuck in
limbo. You owe it to yourself.”