What's His Is Mine (15 page)

I
didn't get any sleep with all that happened last night. I was going to look crazy on camera today. I put eye cream under my eyes and put on a lot of concealer. But I still felt like I had the dark raccoon-eye thing going on. My sister and her drama were interfering with my relationship. I called her to see how she had made out.

“How did you explain everything to Dave?”

“I didn't. He didn't even really ask me anything. He knows he is getting paid back.”

“So now are you going to leave it alone? You got him back.”

“I'm not sure. I don't think I feel like being married anymore.”

“DeCarious left last night.”

“Why?”

“Because he had a strong opinion about the way you were treating Dave, and wondered why I was taking up for you when you were doing something wrong.”

“Tell him to mind his business. Oh, and by the way, news lady, I like the picture of you and your defensive tackle boyfriend in the
AJC
today.”

“What?”

“Yes, it reads, ‘Now we know how Action 7 gets all their exclusive interviews with the Falcons.' ”

“Does it really say that?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh. I'll call you back.” I logged on to my computer and pulled up the paper's Web site. And there were the pictures. We looked cute, but damn. I knew I was going to hear about it when I got to work. Oh boy, this was horrible. Not only had I been accused of sleeping with Paul to get my job, I was sleeping with the Falcons to get exclusives. I guess I was sleeping my way to the top. I was ready to call Gavin to see if he knew the gossip columnist. Maybe I could get a retraction. But you can't withdraw the truth, you just had to deal with it.

I received an e-mail from Mrs. Ellerbe. I hadn't seen her since the event. I guess that meant she'd seen the paper, too.

DeCarious called and said, “I didn't get to recover from the e-mail before.”

“You know our picture is in the paper.”

“Yes, and I'm not happy.”

“Why? You act like I'm an ugly broke dude.”

I had to laugh. “DeCarious, it is not that. It's just I really don't need anyone in my—I mean our—business.”

“Our business? I get it. You're ashamed of me.”

“No, I am not. It is not that. It is just that it doesn't look good, babe. We know about us and everything else is not anyone's business.”

“All right, Cherise.”

I knew his feelings were hurt, but I didn't want to tarnish my reputation.

I
hated being under house arrest. I couldn't wait to get off. I was only two weeks in and I didn't know if I could make it. This was a mess. It was so hard to deal with. I just felt like sleeping, but then I couldn't sleep and my heart was racing and I was restless. I was gaining weight because I was cooking anything I could possibly think of. I wrote my grocery list and Tyrone picked it up. He was so happy to have home-cooked meals and me around. I could tell that he was thinking there was a future for us. I gave him subtle hints that there was not. I loved him for everything he had done for my children and me, but I was not in love with Tyrone.

I was not in love with being in the house, either. I was bored out of my mind. I felt like I was living the same day over and over again. Repetition is the devil's relative. I did the same thing every day. I got up off the right side of the bed, walked in the bathroom, turned the radio on. I swear the same song was playing. I awoke Kierra for school. While she was in the shower I was ironing her clothes and making her breakfast and packing her lunch. Then I cleaned up the living room and did the dishes. After that I took a shower and then got ready to watch all my shows. I loved
Cheaters, The Wendy Williams Show,
and
Maury
. And every day I believed the women when they said they were a thousand percent sure that the man was the father. I almost screamed at the television:
Take care of your child, you deadbeat dad.
Then I was always shocked when Maury read, “You are not the father.” However, even my favorite shows couldn't combat my boredom.

After my shows I tried to work out. By working out, I mean running up and down the steps, jumping in place, and shaking my arms wildly. I have two workout DVDs but I was tired of them, too! I had to move around. I was becoming a real coach potato and my butt was hurting from sitting so long. Then after my around-the-house workout, I pulled out something for dinner, waited for Kierra to get home, helped her with her homework, cooked dinner, waited for Tyrone to come in, talked to him, watched a little more television, talked to Alexis on the telephone, and got Kierra ready for bed and then tried to fall asleep.

I was at the try-to-fall asleep part. Everyone was asleep, but I couldn't close my eyes. I felt like screaming really loud, because I felt like I was gradually going insane. My chest got tight again and I was sweating. I had this overwhelming feeling like I was trapped and I needed to get out of the house. I felt like snatching the ankle bracelet off and throwing that stupid box and running for my life. Each time I felt like I was going to lose it, I had to count to ten and take long deep breaths. This couldn't last forever.

In the morning I called my probation officer and told him about the tightening of my chest and throat and heavy sweats, and I said I thought I might need to go see a doctor. He got me a medical pass to go see a primary care doctor. The doctor said I was physically fine, but recommended that I go and see a therapist.

 

 

My therapist, Clare Sturgis, diagnosed me with panic attacks and mild anxiety. I had to go to her office, which meant I got to get out of the house once a week. Being able to leave the house was therapy enough. She was a very petite white woman. Her hair was short and red. She had a slender ballerina frame. She spoke to me in a very low, almost childlike tone. Her office was on Rittenhouse Square in a picturesque office space in the front room of her home. At first I didn't think I needed counseling, but it felt good to get everything out. I let her know about all the sweating and the tightness in my chest when I was excited. She said that I might also be depressed. I might have been depressed before I came home, but I definitely was not depressed now. I was actually happy. Even though I told her this, she still prescribed three different medications. I took them home because I just might need them, but I was determined to fight it on my own. I didn't want to become an addict relying on pills just to sleep. I just wished my life would start moving forward. I was going to be so grateful to walk my daughter to school, go to the market, have a job, and just live my life. I couldn't wait to do everything I used to take for granted.

I
had to do something about DeCarious, and fast. My time was running out. I thought I was gaining on DeCarious. I guess not. I had to get him away from this news reporter woman. I looked this bitch up and she's very successful. I read her bio on her station's Web site. She was okay. I don't care how pretty or educated she was. She wasn't going to mess my plans up of being a family with my baby daddy. I was about to call DeCarious and tell him a little white lie so he would rush to Philly and I could get him out of the range of that woman. I was not going down to Atlanta anymore. I needed him to be isolated so we could be one-on-one.

I called DeCarious's phone several times before he answered. As soon as he picked up I dramatically yelled, “DeCarious, Asia is sick.”

“So y'all not coming down here this weekend.”

“No. Why don't you come up here? She might feel better if she sees her daddy. She hasn't seen you in a few weeks. But I don't really want to put her on another plane. I think it is becoming too much for her.”

“Yeah, you're right. Okay, I'll be up there. Let me check and see if I can get a flight.”

DeCarious called me back and said that he would be in town by 6 p.m. That was good, but the only problem was that Asia wasn't really sick.

Luckily, when I picked him up she was already asleep in her car seat. I could tell he was very concerned. He sat in the back with her and stroked her face lovingly. So I had to let him know his visit was not in vain.

Looking at him through the rearview mirror, I said, “I'm glad you came. Her temperature was like a hundred and two when I picked her up from day care. But now I just checked it before she took a nap and it is going down.”

 

 

The next morning Asia was running all around. I had to act like it was a miracle that Asia was up and full of energy.

“Let me see if I can get an earlier flight.”

“There is no reason to run home. We can take Asia somewhere and we can go grab something to eat later on. If you want to go home, I can check on the flights for you, but you're here now, so you might as well stay.”

“You're right.”

We took Asia to the Please Touch Museum, which had a bunch of exhibits for children. Asia really didn't know what was going on, but it gave us time to be a family. After the museum I told DeCarious my mom wanted Asia to come over and asked if he minded, since his flight left first thing in the morning.

After we dropped Asia off at my mom's, I asked if he wanted to stop and get something to eat. I had already made a reservation at a steak house. DeCarious wasn't aware of it, but the seducing into obedience had already begun. I was going to get him nice and drunk, feed him, then fuck him and send him home.

We were seated at a red leather booth in the restaurant and I could tell he was a little nervous and uncomfortable. He kept checking his phone, but I had something for all of that. When the waiter came to our table, I ordered two Belvedere and cranberrys.

“You're going to drink both?” DeCarious asked.

“No, you are going to help me.” I laughed.

“Oh, I am?” he said, looking down at the menu. “What's good here?”

“We are in a steak house, so I think you should order a steak.”

“Okay, that's what I'm having then.”

Our food was good. The evening was going as planned: I was feeding his belly and getting him relaxed so he felt good, safe, and secure, and then I was going to attack.

After our meal, DeCarious asked, “What happened to the old Adrienne? You're going to pay for dinner?”

“Yes,” I said. “As I told you, I have changed. I'm a different person now.” I looked down at the bill. It was one hundred and six dollars. I didn't want to pay it, but it would make me look less selfish, so I pulled the money from my wallet. This was nice.

When we arrived home, I played it cool and acted as if I wasn't going to attack DeCarious. He had no idea I was preparing for war. I told him, “You can sleep in my bedroom. I'm going to sleep. I'm tired.”

I waited until I thought he was sound asleep. I opened the door and it creaked. He was snoring loudly. I slipped into the bed with him and pulled back the sheets. Damn, he still had his pants on. So I unbuttoned them slowly. I didn't want him to wake up and say,
What are you doing?
Once they were down far enough, I pulled his flesh out and placed it in my mouth. I took long pulls. It was thicker and sweeter than I remembered. His veins were widening with every kiss. He wasn't even awake, but his body was cooperating. When he finally opened his eyes, his dick was still in my mouth and it must have been feeling good to him because instead of stopping me, he grabbed the back of my head and brought it down farther. Perfect—I had him. He was palming the back of my head so hard I felt like I might choke, but I just relaxed my throat and kept going. Right before he was about to climax, I came up from under the covers and shoved his dick into my moist, accommodating pussy. He refused to look at me or kiss me. It was as if he was at war with himself for fucking me. He wasn't sure if he hated or loved me. He tried to resist, but my rippling, pulsating insides won. He furiously turned me around, pushing my shoulders down, which made my ass poke up at him. He slammed his erect dick in me and then he pulled my hair. He was ramming his body into mine so hard, my face was being mashed into the mattress and I bounced up and down. I was out of breath and didn't think I could take any more, but I had to keep going, so I got back on top of him like a reverse cowgirl. I brought my body down as he popped his up. With each jerk and rock I knew he was one step closer to being mine. Whatever he wanted, I was going to give him. Before long he couldn't control himself and he let his dick's moistness rupture all inside of me.

DeCarious's little reporter girlfriend had something to worry about now. A whole lot to worry about. My insides hurt from how hard and long I fucked DeCarious. Now she had competition on her hands. I knew better than to ask about her. I had to let him come around to the subject on his own. We wouldn't even discuss what happened, but change had come.

I
was determined to get into school. Adrienne was at work and me and Asia took the bus down to the community college. I finally was able to register for spring classes. When January rolled around I would be in school. California was on hold—I called Elena and told her and she said she was thinking about moving out here. I told her to come out and we could still get an apartment, and she could go to Temple or Drexel. That was one thing crossed off my list. The other thing was to call my aunt Tina. I wanted her to know that I was still doing the right thing and I wasn't going to be a failure.

“I just registered for school.”

“That's good, Kiya,” my aunt Tina said cheerfully.

“Yes, I start at the end of January.”

“Okay, I am so proud of you. Don't let anyone stop you. I know you had to come back because of Vicky moving and everything, but that is just a minor hurdle.”

“I'm not. I'm babysitting and living with this nice lady. She is a nurse. I'm going to do what I'm supposed to, Aunt Tina. I just wanted to say thank you again for sending me to California.”

“You're welcome. Call me and keep in contact.”

“Okay, I will.”

 

 

After calling Aunt Tina I called Lisa. She was at work and couldn't talk, but told me to stop by over the weekend and visit her and the boys.

I came home and began cooking dinner and doing the laundry. I wanted the house to be nice for Adrienne. She had really been so nice to me.

I would watch Asia for free, because I loved living there and watching Asia was not a problem at all. Adrienne was teaching me so much. She took me with her when she got her manicures and pedicures. She always looked so nice and put together. Even when we just went to the market she was dolled up. And I saw how men treated her differently, because of how nice she looked. They were always speaking, asking for her number, wanting to pump her gas, or helping us carry something to the car.

She even took me to the Sephora store and bought me all this makeup and taught me how to apply it. It was a lot to keep up with, but she knew what she was doing and every man she met was nice and had so much money. I wished she would talk to my sister and help her so she could meet someone nice.