When I Forget You (16 page)

             
“Let me walk you out,” he says. I hear the front door close. Then five minutes later, it opens again.

             
“Thanks, Becca. You kicked my girlfriend out,” he snaps.

             
“I thought you said she wasn’t your girlfriend,” I snap back.

             
“She is now. I just made it official,” he responds as he grabs a coke out of the fridge. Before Kade moved in, we never had soda in the house. That definitely changed now. Dad and Kade love coke.

             
“You gross me out,” I say as I poor myself a glass of juice. I know, really lame comeback, but it’s all I could come up with.

             
“You’re a bitch,” he says. I slam my cup down on the counter and face him.

             
“You’re a man slut,” I say back. “And you will break that girl’s heart,” I continue.

             
“Too late, you already did,” he says. I push his chest away from me, grab my cup of juice and slam my feet as I walk up the stairs, then slam my bedroom door. That hurt. I never want to break someone’s heart and he knows it. He knows how to get under my skin now, that’s for sure.

Chapter 40
: Watch Her Heal -->

             
It’s Thanksgiving and Becca and I still aren’t talking. What happened yesterday was just so bitchy of Becca. Sure I was mad yesterday, that’s normal. So I didn’t exactly plan on making Kimberly my girlfriend, but after the day Becca and I had, I decided it was a good idea. I mean, I’m sure Kimberly gets shit like all the time, but I didn’t like the way Becca was treating her. Today I’m just frustrated and annoyed that she won’t talk to me. She’s the most frustrating person I have ever met. One day we are happy and talking and then another we are silent and pissed. Girls are fuckin’ crazy.

             
So we are driving to San Diego to Becca’s grandparents and she won’t even look at me. Not even once. Why is she the one who is pissed? It doesn’t make any freaking sense. I’m the one who should be pissed. She sassed my girlfriend in front of her! In front of me! Ugh. Okay. Why am I making this such a big deal? Get it together, Kade. Just pretend like you’re not upset. Wait, I’m really not upset. I’m not anymore. I just want her to freaking talk to me, for goodness sake. Okay. Then I’ll just be real.

             
“Hey Becca, what are you listening to?” I motion my hands toward her headphones. I know, it’s stupid conversation starter. She gives me a confused, angry look and sighs. She absolutely hates when people talk to her while she has headphones on. She takes out one of her ear buds and hands it to me. I put it in my ear and listen. She’s listening to country. Ugh, country. I hate country. Becca LOVES it. Like it’s almost all she listens to. Her favorite guy is Tim McGraw and apparently he just came out with the most amazing album. It’s all she can talk about, which drives me crazy. A lot of stuff that Becca does or says drives me crazy, come to think of it, but when she doesn’t drive me crazy, I miss it. I give her her ear bud back and look back out the window. We don’t say anything the rest of the drive.

**

Becca is sitting under the kitchen table playing with the little cousins and it is driving me crazy and I love it. She looks so happy which makes me so happy. Her smile is practically touching both her ears. I wish I could see that smile more often. It’s making her eyes sparkle and face light up.  How can she possibly be so sad at home but seem so happy here? What does Henry do that makes her so upset? I just don’t get it. I wish she would talk to me. She catches me looking at her. Shit. She doesn’t look away, though. She just sits there, looking into my eyes. For a moment, I see her face soften and her guard go down. I love that look. It’s so comforting I could fall asleep. I don’t look away, not wanting her to get a chance to take her eyes off mine. Those deep, deep brown eyes – I would swim in them if I could. They’re like the perfect coffee, creamer, sugar, and coffee. The prettiest light brown colored coffee one can get. She just waves at me, like nothing has happened between us. I don’t know what I feel, but whatever it is, I can’t control it or escape it. I need to know what happened between her and Henry. I’m going to help her.

Chapter 41
: Healing -->

             
For the past week, Kade has been walking around with Kimberly, holding her hand, kissing her cheek, holding her waist, and it is honestly driving me bananas. Not the good kind of bananas, either. I want to go up to him and punch him right in those dreamy green eyes. What does he even see in her anyways!? I mean does ANYONE follow this “no PDA” rule at all? I know we are seniors, but seriously, someone has to draw the line somewhere. I mean, kissing is okay just not when Kade and Kimberly are doing it all the time. I swear, I see them together at least every passing period. I sometimes even see them out the window of my classroom – during class – outside talking. Aren’t they supposed to be in class doing busy work like the rest of us? I’m at my locker getting my Calculus book out when Chasity runs up to me.

             
“Becca, we’ve got a problem,” she says. She shoves her phone into my hands. On the IPhone screen, there is a conversation between Henry and her. First of all, why the hell is she even talking to the mother fucker? I’ve told Chasity so many fucking times to not talk to the asshole. All he does is bring drama into her life, which means it comes into my life. The healthiest thing to do is block him out completely. It’s not easy to pretend that he fell off the face of the Earth, but that is the only way to get him to not be manipulative. It’s sad that I have to do that to someone, but it’s the best thing for me. I cave and read the conversation anyways.

Are you mad that I denied I threatened to commit suicide when the sheriff asked me about it?

You denied it?

Yeah.

Why don’t you just go get help, Henry?

My mom would deny it. She wouldn’t say I’m suicidal. She wouldn’t pay for help.

“Oh my dear Lord, he is so full of shit it’s insane,” I say, slamming my locker door shut. “He’s poor, but not that poor,” I continue telling Chasity. I’m furious. My face is red and I think my knuckles are white from squeezing them so hard into a fist. See? This is my ongoing mother-fucking problem. People come up to me telling me shit about how Henry misses me or how he hates me or how I ruined his life or how he is in love with me. (if you haven’t noticed, Henry is a freaking crazy maniac- don’t worry I already know that.) People always come to me with drama about what happened last year. The worst thing is I always get asked “What happened with you and Henry? Weren’t you like best friends?” Now, one must answer this question very carefully. If the person that asks me is a friend, that knows for-sure Henry and I were friends, I just say we grew apart. Which is pretty much true. It’s the truth, without the details. If it isn’t that close of a friend and just saw Henry and I in the halls together or something, I simply say, “No. I never knew Henry that well. I’ve only talked to him once or twice.” But I can’t completely deny it, or else they will know something fishy is going on.

             
“I feel kinda bad for him,” Chasity says, snapping me back into reality and out of the rant inside my head. Except this starts a new one. FEEL BAD FOR HIM? Is she fucking crazy? Most likely so because if someone feels bad for Henry, they obviously need help. Henry abused me. I will never ever forgive him for that. Just because he wanted attention so damn much does not mean it’s okay to get mad at someone when they’re not giving you attention. What he did is not okay and will never be okay. He’s sick.

             
“I don’t. Not one bit,” I say as I shake my head, trying the shake away all the horrible memories of Henry out of my brain. Just then, Kade and Kimberly pass us, hand and hand. I stare at the back of Kade’s head. I only took one look at the slut, and had to look away to save me from barfing. She has on a short tight mini skirt that hugs her huge butt and a red shirt that hugs her now covered boobs. She also has on fuzzy boots. Sounds like the chick in the song “Low” by Flo Rida. “Shortie had them apple bottom jeans boots with the fur.” I giggle at myself, admiring my cleverness, then Kade looks back at me. He turns his head all the way and looks directly at me. My giggles zap away. I look into his eyes, and feel this longing that I can’t quite define. I just want him to be over here, talking to me, not her. We would rant about how awful and shitty Henry is, and laugh when people ask if Henry and I are still friends, but he’s not here. He’s with her. So I look away, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Kade’s face fall. He’s upset. Just like I am.

             
“Hey, we are celebrating Cassidy’s birthday this weekend at the boat, will you come? Cassidy is inviting her annoying friends and I don’t want to have to deal with them alone,” Chasity says. It’s true, Cassidy’s friends are annoying and obsessed with their own bodies. Don’t get me wrong, Dana is nice and all, she just drives Chasity and I get a little insane when they are around. Like the reason she doesn’t have a boyfriend right now is because she’s too busy obsessing over herself so it leaves no time for another person. She always wants to take pictures of herself to post on Instagram and expects us to be her photographer, and after a few hours of her modeling, I kind of want to throw the camera at her face. So I’m not going to leave Chasity alone to deal with that.

             
“Sure. Car is supposed to have her puppies sometime in the middle of the week, so I should be okay going down to the boat this weekend. What time are you picking up Dana?” I’m so excited for Carr to have her puppies. When I was little, Cynthia would breed Chihuahuas, which is how they got Terrance and literally the little puppies fit in the palm of your hand. That is one of my best childhood memories. Right when the mom would have her puppies, Cynthia and Kade would come pick me up from home and take me over to their house for the night so I could see the puppies. The puppies wouldn’t open their eyes for the first couple of days, so I would stay at their house until the puppies did.

**

Sure enough, that night Car has her puppies. One of them comes out blonde, just like their mommy but one came out black, just like their daddy. Carr has two girls. The black girl has one white spot on her head. We name her Lily. The one that comes out blonde only has three legs. We name her Daisy.

             
“I think she’s cuter with three legs,” Kade says smiling down at Daisy.

             
“Yeah, it gives her personality,” I say back. He smiles at me and I smile right back, not being able to hold in my joy. This reminds me so much of when Kade and I were in our elementary school days. It reminds me so much of Cynthia. Then, a tear slips from Kade’s eye, and I swear the whole world stops. Now it’s my turn to comfort him. I put my arm around him, just like he does with me when I’m crying.

             
“I know. I miss her too,” I tell him, rubbing his back in circles.

             
“I’m so mad at Destiny, Becca. How could she do this to our family? How could she just leave us? Leave me? Leave you for goodness sake!” He cries harder. I wipe the tears away from his face with my thumb.

             
“Have you talked to her?” I whisper.

             
He’s silent for about thirty seconds. Why does he pause? “No,” he whispers back. He puts his head in my lap and spreads his legs out on the floor and closes his eyes. We sit there for a while. I run my hands through his soft brown hair and he breaths steadily.

**

I wake up in his arms, still on the floor beside the puppies, who are also sleeping. It’s five in the morning, and one hour before we both have to get up for school. I close my eyes again, remaining wrapped in Kade’s arms, and fall back asleep until we hear our alarms upstairs go off. It just feels too good to let it slip away just as fast as it happened.

Chapter 42
: Watch Her Heal -->

             
“Where’s Becca?” Kimberly asks. We are sitting in the living room watching Mean Girls. It sucks compared to Full House. She’s on my lap and I am sitting on the couch.

             
“At her best friend’s boat,” I tell her, not really wanting to talk about Becca. Hopefully she will notice that I want the Becca subject to be over. I mean it’s kind of awkward to talk to your girlfriend about the girl that sleeps in the room right across from yours or the girl that fell asleep in your arms last night. I’d like that to stay on the down-low, though. 

             
“Aw that sucks,” she says as she picks up Lily and pets the white spot on the top of her head.

             
“Why does it suck?” I squish my eyebrows, making a confused look.

             
“Because now you are lonely,” she responds. Okay, now I really am confused. She’s sitting on my lap; I am definitely not lonely. Girls are fuckin’ crazy.

             
“I have you,” I tell her, tickling her stomach. She forces a giggle but doesn’t smile. Shit. You are in some serious shit if a girl doesn’t smile when you flirt tickle her.

             
“I’m not Becca,” she says. Chicks confuse me oh my gosh. This is ridiculous.

             
“What?” I ask her.

             
“Nothing,” she says as she puts Lily down. “I’ve got to go. I have a girl’s night out tonight.” She gets up from my lap, kisses my cheek, and walks out of the house. What does she only kiss me on the cheek? I mean she was just grinding on my lap and I only get a cheek? Once again, I am alone in the living room, very confused by something a girl just said.

**

It’s two in the morning. I made myself brownies. I’m eating the whole pan and watching
Full House
. Geez, this just isn’t the same without Becca. I miss her so much. She’s gone until Sunday night and it’s only Friday night. Well, technically Saturday, actually.

             
I’m lonely. As much as I deny it, I love living with Becca.