When It's Love (12 page)

Knowing she'd regret it forever if she missed this one chance to know the joy, and the sweet pleasure, of being with him, she nodded and told him, “And the night, too.”

They drove back to her place in silence, then walked hand in hand up to her front step, where he pulled her against him for a kiss. One that was so sweet, and so passionate, it left her hungering for more.
Much
more.

And yet, instead of rushing her into bed, he said, “All along, you've been so determined that this wouldn't happen. Are you sure you want to be with me? Because if you don't, somehow I'll find a way to make myself leave.”

It was so sweet that he was concerned for her, but just this once, Rachel didn’t want to be careful. If this night was all that they had left, then she wanted to spend it with Nicholas. She wanted to give herself—give both of them—this gift. Something incredibly special to remember.

“If this is going to be our last night, then I want to spend it with you.”

“This isn’t going to be our last night together,” he promised her as he drew her even closer. “Just the first of many.”

She kissed him again then, before she could let herself believe in more than just this one night. She knew better, knew how hard it was for some people to stay in one place. One night would be enough. It had to be.

She took hold of his arm, pulling him inside, kissing him again as the door swung shut and she led him back toward her bedroom. It had been so long since she’d let a man be with her like this. So long since she’d dared to make a connection. But, oh, how she wanted to be with him.

And as she kissed him hungrily—and he kissed her right back with just as much need—Rachel finally let her self-control go.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Rachel woke with Nicholas asleep beside her, his arm curled around her as if to hold on to her for as long as possible. Gently, and with great reluctance, she lifted his arm so that she could get up and shower. Frank wasn't expecting her at the office until later in the day, and Emily would take Charlotte to school from Grams’. Which meant Rachel could take her time, luxuriating in the feel of the water as it hit her skin, all the wonderful memories of the night before making her blush.

Nicholas had been
perfect
. Rachel had expected the night to be good. But it had been more than just their attraction sparking into flames, far more than just one wonderful night with a gorgeous man.

It had felt like they belonged together. As if everything between them ran far deeper than just their physical connection. And by the time they had fallen asleep in one another’s arms, it had been hard for Rachel to know where she ended and he began.

By the time she finished showering and went to get dressed in the bedroom, Nicholas was practicing yoga in a pair of board shorts. He straightened when he saw her and smiled. “Good morning.”

Yes,
she thought as she echoed his greeting,
it certainly is
.

“I have to stretch every morning,” he explained, “or I won’t be able to do everything I need to on my surfboard. Feel like joining me?”

“From where I’m standing,” she replied with a slightly wicked smile on her lips, “watching is working pretty well.”

Laughing, Nicholas kept going for another minute or two before putting on a shirt. “Should we head to Ava's to pick up Charlotte for school?”

“Emily will take her in.”

“I'll miss seeing her this morning,” he said, and she could see that he genuinely meant it, “but in that case, how about I take you out to breakfast?”

“We could have breakfast here,” Rachel offered.

“We could, but since I’m guessing you do that every day, let’s do something different.”

When he reached out to take her hand and led her toward the front door, she could see he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Honestly, Rachel didn’t mind. It had been so long since she’d eaten out anywhere, and for breakfast? Had she even done that since Charlotte had been born? Rachel tended to leave spontaneous things for later in the day. So much later that they often didn’t happen.

“I'm trusting you,” he said as they began to walk into town, “to steer us away from any tourist places. I want to experience what it's like to truly be a local.”

“I knew you wanted me for something,” Rachel replied with a laugh.

“I want you for a lot more than that,” Nicholas assured her.

And it certainly seemed true that he wanted her for a lot more than just a handy local guide to the island. She still could hardly believe the way it had all happened. If Morgan hadn’t been ill, Nicholas would have just been some stranger in Grams’ house, busy with his TV shoots and then gone as quickly as he’d arrived. Instead, they’d had a wonderful few days together, Rachel had been given the opportunity to revisit some of the excitement she’d had when she was a kid, and Charlotte was happier than ever.

As for last night? Rachel would always be grateful for the precious hours she'd spent in Nicholas' arms.

Just like he liked to say, things
had
worked out. For the time being at least.

In town, Nicholas pointed out the really cool sign of a local art studio that featured a couple of whales chasing each other. How had she not noticed it before? Well, for today at least, she was really enjoying the sights and sounds of the island waking up. The artists coming out into the morning sun to check the light and set up their easels. The tourists starting to get out and explore the island, cameras in hand, eyes bright with anticipation. A couple of fishermen hauling in their early morning catch. It had all been here before, but she felt like she was seeing it for the first time.

“This is so nice,” she said softly, loving the feel of her hand in his as they walked.

“I love walking around exploring the places where I surf,” Nicholas said. “I’ve never understood people on the surfing circuit who just go from the airport to the beach and back again when they could be slowing down and enjoying things.”

“After seeing you kitesurfing yesterday,” Rachel said with a smile, “it's hard to imagine you slowing down. Especially when there’s always another wave coming.”

Nicholas reached out with his free hand to brush a lock of hair back from her cheek and slide it behind her ear. She was tingling all over by the time he replied. “Hanging out in the deep water without being in any rush until a great wave finally comes along, and then enjoying riding it for as long as you can, is actually what surfing is all about.”

“But what about when you're surfing competitively and the good waves don't seem to be coming?”

“It isn't always easy to be patient while you wait for something amazing to come along, but in my experience, it's always worth it. And always loads of fun, too.”

For so long, she’d been so busy with work, Charlotte and family, that her life had become one long loop on a never-ending replay. But ever since Nicholas had arrived, she hadn’t known from one day to the next what life would throw at her. It should have been terrifying. In fact, there
had
been a couple of moments when it had been terrifying. But there had been far more moments when excitement—and pleasure—had overridden everything else.

For the past several years, she had defined herself as “responsible,” “safety conscious” and “a super protective mom.” And she knew these were the same terms anyone else would use to describe her. But hadn't she known all along that there was more to her than those descriptors? Even if, for the past few years, she had been living a life that was the polar opposite of being a cliff-climbing adventurer.

“What about this place?” Nicholas asked, gesturing to a small café close to the waterfront. “Is this how the locals do breakfast?”

Rachel hadn’t been in this café in years. It looked just the same as it had when she was a teenager and used to stay out until the sun was starting to rise, or when she’d wanted to grab a quick breakfast on the way to the beach.

“Yes,” she said, “this place is really good.”

Everything was as Rachel remembered it, from the checkered tablecloths to the aging coffee machine. Even the girl behind the counter looked familiar, and Rachel guessed she was the daughter of the woman who had owned the café when she was a kid.

“What do you recommend?” Nicholas asked.

“Honestly, it's all really good. I think I’m going to have the pancakes and bacon.”

Just then, everything felt right. Even the weather was perfect, one of the beautiful, sunny, but not too hot, mornings that Walker Island was famous for. And the pancakes and bacon were as good as she remembered.

“How about later, after you get back from work and Charlotte is done with school, the three of us go down to the beach and I'll show you both how to surf?”

Rachel thought back to her daughter trying to “surf” on the ironing board, and her stomach clenched tight. “Isn't she too young?”

“I was a lot younger when I first got on a board,” Nicholas pointed out. “But I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable about her safety, so if you'd rather learn first, then after you've got it down, both of us could teach—”

Rachel's chest had clenched even tighter by the time she raised a hand to stop him from saying anything more. “Can we not do this?”

“Not do what?”

“Not make plans like this.”

“I thought you liked making plans. I mean, I’m usually happy to go with the flow and just see what happens, because things always end up working out, but—”

“Sometimes they
don't
work out!” Rachel hated the way their perfect morning had turned so quickly. “You keep talking about all the things that we’re going to do next, but I know exactly what’s happening next. You’re
leaving
. You’ve finished your shooting for the pilot and we can’t pretend that you’ll be able to stay in one place, even if you had a reason to stay.”

“I
do
have a reason to stay,” Nicholas insisted, reaching for her hand. “Two wonderful reasons. Even more, actually, when we count your family. I want this, Rachel. I want
you.
”

Rachel pulled back, not because she didn’t want the touch of his skin against hers, but because she wanted it far
too
much. “You have too much going on in your life to stay here. You have your new TV show. You have your surfing competitions around the world. Because I don’t think they’re planning on holding all the major surfing championships around Walker Island this year, are they?”

“It probably wouldn’t make for particularly great waves,” Nicholas said with one of his gentle smiles. “But that doesn’t mean we have to just pull back like nothing happened last night or pretend we can’t still feel the sparks between us.”

“Last night was wonderful, but I knew going into it that it was only going to be the one night we had together. I knew that you were leaving, and I—” She took a deep breath, one that shook inside her chest. “I didn’t want to regret never taking that chance to be with you.”

“And do you regret it?” Nicholas asked, his hand finding hers and holding on tight.

“No. How could I? It was beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Rachel could feel the tears coming now and knew she needed to finish this conversation soon, before they spilled out in front of Nicholas. “I know I can’t stop you from leaving, and I wouldn’t want to. Your life’s one that should be lived throughout the world, away from this island. All I wanted was to be part of it, even if just for a short time.”

“We could build so many other memories together,” Nicholas insisted. “We don’t have to call an end to this. To us.”

“Even if you stayed for a few more days, it wouldn’t make things better. Because you’d still have to leave in the end.” The tears came even closer as she told him, “That's why I think it would be easier for both of us—and for Charlotte, so that she doesn't get any more attached to you—if you leave today.”

“Come with me.”

She blinked at him in shock for several moments, before finally echoing, “Come with you?”

“Yes. Come with me,” he said again, as if it were the most obvious idea in the world. “I’ve seen the way you come to life when you’re having fun on our adventures. And I see the way Charlotte longs for adventure, too. Why not get on a plane with me and see the world?”

Rachel continued to stare at him in disbelief. He had to be joking, didn't he?

But no. It looked like Nicholas was deadly serious.

“That's crazy.”

“What’s crazy about it?” Nicholas countered.

“
Everything!
I know what your schedule is like, what's going to be next. Australia. Japan. Thailand. You’re talking like I can just get up and walk away from my life here. Like I don’t have responsibilities. But I have a little girl and a job that I need so that I can keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. You can't be serious about dragging Charlotte around the world like that!”

But Nicholas didn’t let go of her hand. “I'm completely serious. Are you telling me that you love your job so much you couldn’t leave it? And as for Charlotte, from what I hear, homeschooling is a pretty awesome thing. I’m not asking you to abandon her. I would never want that, not for any of us. I want her to come, too. All three of us, going everywhere we want. As a family.” His eyes were intense with emotion as he told her, “You asked me the other day if I’d ever wanted a family.” He lifted her fingers to his mouth and pressed a kiss to them. “I want you and Charlotte to be my family. Can't you see what an amazing life we could have together?”

Rachel was stunned by how easily she could imagine it. Going to parts of the world she’d always wanted to visit. Traveling with Charlotte and Nicholas beside her to exotic locations her daughter would love. Teaching Charlotte from home. Not spending her days poring over insurance statistics, because instead she would be filming shows with Nicholas. And, best of all, getting to wake up in his arms every morning.

It was tempting.
So
incredibly tempting to reach for the beautiful dream.

But, she forcefully reminded herself, a dream was all it was. There were way too many risks. What if Nicholas changed his mind? What if he realized that being tied down with a woman and her kid wasn’t everything he’d expected? What about all the difficulties that might come with taking a little girl away from the only home she'd ever known?