When It's Love (8 page)

“Do you and your family do that regularly?” Nicholas asked.

She nodded, then realized he might not be able to clearly see her in the moonlight. “Usually, Hanna is busy with her studies and filmmaking, Morgan is often off-island for her TV commitments, and Dad tends to be busy with the school and his educational trips. But for our fall dinner, everyone rearranges their schedules to make sure they can be on the island for the night.”

“It must be nice having everyone you love around you.”

It was, and the family get-togethers were wonderful. But at the same time, her sisters' successes with both career and love could also sometimes feel like a reminder that Rachel was not only still on the island working in insurance, but that she hadn't found anyone who made her heart beat as fast as her rotten ex had. When she was younger, she'd assumed that once she was old enough, she'd go off into the world to explore all of its exciting nooks and crannies. But that wasn't the way it had worked out.

Well, she thought, aside from the part about her heart beating fast. Because Nicholas certainly kept sending it into overdrive, with nothing more than one of his gorgeous smiles...

Once they got to the house, Nicholas carried Charlotte inside. After silently checking with Rachel to make sure it was okay, he headed for her room and laid her down gently on her bed. He did it so softly and quietly that Charlotte barely murmured in her sleep, rolling over and reaching for the stuffed rabbit Nicholas had given her.

Deciding it wouldn't hurt Charlotte to sleep in a dress instead of her jammies for one night if it meant getting a few extra minutes of sleep after such a busy evening out, Rachel pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek and said, “I love you.” Then she crept out of the room after Nicholas, who had headed back into the living room.

Once they were alone, it would have been so easy to reach for him. But she knew if she did, that one touch would inevitably lead to more. He would pull her even closer to him, their lips would meet, and—

Rachel swallowed instinctively at the heady thought. That was the problem. It was
too
good of a thought. Too good to ever be real. To ever be safe with a man like Nicholas.

Still, when she looked up into his eyes, the heat in them had her wondering if he would be the one to bridge the gap between them and kiss her impulsively, the same way he seemed to do everything else in his life. A part of her wanted his kiss so, so badly. But at the same time, despite the instinctive pull she felt toward Nicholas—one so strong that it had been there from the very first moment she'd set eyes on him at the ferry—the days when she could just dive into something on instinct were long gone.

As if he could sense her conflicting thoughts, instead of grabbing her and kissing her, he simply said, “You’ve got a great kid there. She’s so bright and enthusiastic. She’s going to go out and conquer the world one day.”

A surge of pride rose within Rachel. It was true that Charlotte was precocious. She wanted to know, and do, and try everything. Yet, just the thought of what all those things
out there
might be—off the island, where Rachel couldn’t do anything to protect her—was enough to bring fear a beat later. Nicholas was talking as though it was good that one day her daughter would be going out into a big, scary world full of dangers. But, then, of course he would think like that—his life of adventuring had worked so well for him that he assumed it would work just as well for everyone else.

“I want her to explore, but I can't stand the thought of her ever getting hurt.”

“You've raised a smart kid. She'll know how to make the right decisions when the time comes. It’ll be okay,” Nicholas assured her.

“Until you have kids, you can't know how scary the world can be.”

“Maybe not,” he conceded, “but I still know how important family is.”

Every time he talked about family—about how much he was enjoying getting to know hers and how lucky she was to have them all nearby—a part of her started to think that maybe falling into his arms wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

But she knew better, didn't she? Knew better than to fall for a gorgeous wanderer just because he said all the right things.

“If I had kids,” he continued, “I would love them so much. And I know I would try to protect them, but I would want to show them everything the world has to offer, too.”

“That's easy to say when you're too busy gallivanting around the world to bother having kids,” she said in a deliberately crisp voice, one that she hated hearing coming out of her own mouth even if it was necessary to try to push him—and the desperate longing he made her feel—away.

“That's not why I don't have any children, Rachel.”

She knew better than to ask, but she still couldn't stop the words from falling from her lips. “Then why?”

“I don't have kids because I hadn't met the right woman to have them with.”

Oh God, why did she so desperately want that
right woman
to be her? And why was she teetering so precariously on the verge of throwing herself at him for a kiss that neither of them would ever forget?

But, then, drawing on six years of strength—strength she'd had to learn the moment Guy had left her pregnant and alone—she said, “Thank you for walking us home, but I should really be heading to bed now. And I'm sure you've got a big day ahead of you with the film crew, too.”

For a moment, when he moved closer, she thought he was going to kiss her anyway and try to convince her that going to bed alone wasn't even close to the right choice. And, despite all of the warnings she had been giving herself, she inwardly rejoiced.

But, in the end, he simply brushed his lips against her cheek and said, “Good night,” leaving her heart racing in anticipation of the true kiss that she wanted more than she'd ever wanted anything in her life.

CHAPTER TEN

The next morning after Rachel got Charlotte ready for school, she decided to tidy up the house before logging into her email to see what new projects Frank might have waiting for her to work on. But even though this was her normal daily schedule, things didn't feel quite right this morning. Almost as if she was missing something. Or
someone.
Because for the first time in three days, she wouldn't be picking Nicholas up or taking him somewhere. Instead, Morgan had insisted—despite all of their protests last night—that she was feeling well enough to shoot the climbing segment today.

How was it, Rachel found herself wondering, that after only a couple of days, Nicholas had already become a part of her daily routine? And just because she knew better than to think a man like him could ever truly become part of anyone's day-to-day schedule, it still didn’t do anything to ease the nagging sense of disappointment that had settled inside her that Morgan, instead of her, would be spending the day at the cliffs with him.

Thankfully, there was always something to do in a house with a messy six-year-old around—namely a thorough cleanup of Charlotte's room—so Rachel did her best to push that longing aside as she tidied up.

She didn’t treat chores as a kind of meditation the way her sister Emily seemed to, but there was still something almost soothing about going through Charlotte’s room, tidying away the clothes and the toys that lay scattered around. At least until her eyes settled on the new stuffed rabbit...and the shark tooth necklace it was now wearing.

Rachel could barely believe it—Charlotte had obviously taken Nicholas’ necklace last night when he carried her home. And now, she knew she needed to return it to him immediately. Which meant driving over to the film location at the cliffs after all.

She knew all the good climbing spots on the island, so she was pretty certain she knew which spot Morgan would have chosen for today. Memories of her climbing days flashed through her mind—times spent scrambling up rock faces, often without safety ropes. She'd also climbed trees, buildings, anything that offered a challenge or a good view at the top.

How could she have been so reckless? What if she had fallen?

But I never did, did I?

* * *

By the time Rachel arrived at the base of the cliffs, though the production crew was clearly ready to film a climb, Nicholas and Morgan weren't anywhere near to starting. And as Rachel got closer, it was easy to hear their conversation.

“No, absolutely not. I’m sorry, Morgan, but there is no way you are climbing today.” Nicholas looked very serious as he said it, reminding Rachel of the way he’d gone through the safety routines for their kayak trip. Clearly, he wasn’t going to compromise on safety, not for a TV show or any other reason.

“Come on, Nicholas,” her sister argued, “you’ve said yourself that you need normal people to go on your adventures with you. If we don’t get the shots, then what’s the point of coming here to film today?”

The film crew looked eager to get Morgan ready, but as the production assistant reached out to help her with her climbing harness, Nicholas stepped between them and shook his head.

“I’m not going to let you do it. I know you’re only trying to help, but you simply aren’t well enough yet.” When it seemed Morgan wasn't going to listen, he added, “And what would the producers of your show think if I got their big star injured?”

Rachel saw Morgan try to laugh that off, but the laughter turned into a coughing fit. “I’m not that big a star. Besides…”

Nicholas handed Morgan a bottle of water. “You are a big star as far as Brian and your family and friends who love you are concerned. And I don’t think any of them would forgive me if I let you climb when you’re feeling like this. I sure wouldn't forgive myself.”

“You need to listen to him, Morgan,” Rachel said as she finally came forward. “It was only a day or so ago that you were ready to fall over. Besides, it’s not like you ever liked climbing anyway.”

“But if I don’t climb with Nicholas today,” Morgan said, “who will?”

“I’ll do it.” The words were out of Rachel's mouth before she'd realized they were coming.

Had she really just offered to take Morgan’s place again? Why would she do something as stupid as that?

Then again, she knew
these cliffs and could still remember climbing this particular route a dozen times or more. Usually without many safety precautions. She shuddered, thinking of the risks she'd taken. But there was another part of her that was already looking up at the cliff face, planning the best route as if a piece of her past was calling to her. Again.

The production team was clearly eager for her to take over for her sister. “Actually, if you were to climb today, Rachel, we’d have really good continuity. Not to mention the fact that the two of you have great on-screen chemistry.”

Well, she supposed there was no backing out now as a smiling Nicholas brought the climbing harness over and she stepped into it with the familiarity that experience brings.

“I’ve seen pictures of you climbing. Did you ever do it here?”

Though his mouth was so close to hers as he adjusted the straps that it was hard to think about anything other than kissing him—even the climb ahead—Rachel nodded. “Not for a long time, though.”

“I’m sure you’ll be even more of a natural on the cliffs than you were out on the ocean in the kayak,” he told her. “Now, before we begin, we need to go through the safety words for climbing.”

Behind him, the camera was rolling, yet this didn’t feel anything like a rehearsed video presentation—it just felt real and natural. For many other people, this focus on safety would have felt like a waste of time, a task they undertook simply because they had to. Yet, with Nicholas, it felt as if he was genuinely giving her a climbing lesson, and all his attention was on her. Of course, though his attention had been on her for days, it hadn’t been until this morning that she’d realized how much she had been missing it...or just how much she appreciated it.

“Don’t start climbing until I say ‘climb on,’ and when you’re ready to start, shout ‘climbing’ up to me. Rock faces can do strange things to sound.”

“I remember.”

He went through the other basic climbing communication words with her, covering everything from the essential “on belay” and “off belay” for managing the safety ropes, to the more urgent terms like “watch me” and “falling!”

“Although, hopefully,” he added with a reassuring grin, “we won’t need that last one.”

For a moment, Rachel's actuary-trained brain couldn’t help but think about the statistics for rock-climbing injuries and fatalities. It should have been all she needed as a reminder to herself that she shouldn’t be doing this. That she couldn’t be a wild, adventurous person anymore when she knew everything that could go wrong on climbs like this, from unsafe ropes to being struck by falling rocks.

And yet, here she was, taking the helmet Nicholas held out for her to wear. Both of their helmets had small video cameras on them. From there, it was a matter of focusing on the basics of hand- and footholds, the need to open her hips to stay close to the wall, and the importance of climbing with her whole body.

They were just getting ready to go when Rachel suddenly remembered the whole reason she had come to the cliffs in the first place. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the shark tooth necklace. “Charlotte took it,” she said with an apologetic shake of her head. “I don't know why she did it, and I'll make sure she apologizes to you properly later, but I thought you’d want it back.”

“Thanks, although she can have it if she wants it.”

“She can?”

“The first surfer I ever met gave it to me. Am I the first surfer she's met?”

“You are.”

“Then she should definitely have it. I'll just put it back on until I see her again.”

“Aren't you angry that she took it?”

“Of course not. I know what it's like to not want to let something beautiful go.” The way he said it made Rachel think he wasn't talking about the necklace anymore, but about
her.
“Plus, she’s a good kid. That’s all that matters. Are you ready to climb?”

To her surprise, she was. After she nodded, he turned back to the film crew, who gave them the thumbs-up.