When the Elephants Dance (33 page)

W
HEN IT CAME
time to open our presents I was so upset, I was ready to pass and open them in private, but Corazón insisted. We sat in the middle of the courtyard, and the presents were brought to us. There were many colorful presents, and most of them were for us to share as sisters. Like the picnic basket we received, and the matching tea set made of porcelain. I wanted to throw the tea set on the floor and say, “This is to represent my break from this woman. She is not my sister.” Instead I smiled and we posed for pictures with each present
opened. Do you know how it feels to be forced in a situation with someone you despise?

I felt I was walking barefoot on lava. When our mother came and stood behind Corazón instead of between us, it did not go unnoticed by me or our guests. She was punishing me for my earlier dissension, for coming down the stairs unannounced, but it only added to the fire. Mama was selfish that way. Once you offended her, you needed to crawl on your hands and knees to regain her favor. She could have chosen to forgive me, a rash young girl of seventeen, but she didn’t. She dug my wounds deeper, embracing Corazón and speaking only to her, showing everyone who the favored daughter was, as if I didn’t exist. My mother knew the pain she caused me. She knew the rift between Cora and me.

It was just one more thing to add to my feelings toward Corazón. I felt as if everyone had turned against me. I noticed how Jamie sat on Corazón’s side, avoiding me. I wanted to run to my room and shut my door at the whole party.

Even her gown began to annoy me more and more. My blue expensive gown had become wrinkled as the night wore on, and one of the sleeves kept slipping off. Corazón’s gown had kept its freshness. Each time I turned around someone was complimenting her on her talents as a seamstress. I ached to spill my glass of punch on her gown. I envied how the iridescence of the fabric caught the candlelight. I wanted to put out its brightness, so I did.

As the next card was read, the next present passed to us, I pretended to lean over at the gift as if I were curious. I could see Nene’s eyes grow large. She shook her head at me. I heard my name announced first and reached over and—“Oops!”—the punch spilled all over that remarkable gown. Corazón stood with her mouth open, brushing away the punch. Everyone rushed to help her. But funny thing, she wasn’t concerned. She was more excited about the present she held in her hands.

That was when I realized that the presents had ended and what they had saved for last, probably my mother’s idea, was our own presents to each other. What I held in my hands was the present Corazón had bought for me. It was a big box, as large as a double-layered sheet cake to feed two hundred people. The box was wrapped in bright yellow, and the ribbon was blue. She had added a little accent of small yellow roses to the ribbon.

What she held in hers was the stupid set of wind chimes I had bought at the market at a bargain, with the intention of keeping her awake at night. It was the first present I had ever bought her.

I felt much better after spilling the punch, and I could see from the corner
of my eyes the pink streaks of punch growing permanent roots. Cora did not seem to care.

“Open yours first,” she said excitedly.

I pulled apart the ribbon and ripped open the pretty paper, forgetting to thank her. When I opened the box, even I was shocked. She had sewn me a gown. It was a pale pink, with a pearl sheen to it. It was made of raw silk and was almost identical to the one she wore. It was breathtaking. “Do you like it?” She clapped her hands. The guests exclaimed at the beauty of it.

“Yes,” I said, dumbfounded, and feeling embarrassed now at the gift I had given her.

“I am going to open mine,” she said, laughing. When she opened the plain brown wrapping, her eyes lit up. She was so happy, you should have seen her. My shame flared inside me. I felt as if the corners of my soul were eroding. I wanted to shake her and say, “Look, look at the attachments, cheap wire. Look at the metal, not good at all, just tin.” But from her expression, you would have thought I had bought her rare black pearls. She shook it, and the wind chimes did sound pretty. But as I looked at the faces of the guests, I could see they were watching the two of us intently. As if our true feelings were revealed to them. I could see the disappointment in Jamie’s eyes, though he tried to hide it. He told Corazón it was a lovely present. The only one smiling was Matthew. Smiling not with his mouth, but with his eyes. A secret kind of smile, as if he were saying “We are two of a kind, you and I.”

And that was how our first night as “young women” began. Jamie did not come by to try to straighten things out between us. And Matthew, I avoided him so much, he somehow found a way to make friends with Corazón again. I was so exhausted from the party that I said good night to a few guests and walked upstairs to our room. I heard Corazón as she came up the steps. Her feet were always light and graceful.

“Oh, she is already asleep,” she said to Ate Yu. She laid the gown she had sewn for me in a box beside my bed. “Good night, sister, thank you for the present.” I heard her hang the wind chimes outside her window. And do you know, those wind chimes actually sounded lovely? I remember how she used to care for them; whenever the weather threatened, she would take down the wind chimes to preserve them.

T
HAT WAS NOT
the last we saw of those young men. Many of the ones who were too shy to approach us at the party came to call at our house. In fact, for
months after, our house was the busiest one in the village. Matthew Parris came often to visit Corazón, and I avoided him like typhoid fever. I did not like how out of control I felt whenever he was in the room. I already told you how he mixed up my thoughts like my favorite dessert, halo halo. I felt like the crushed ice mixed with too many sweet beans, ube, langkâ, and other such goodies. Jamie never visited. The next time I saw him was at the harvest festival known as the Lami-Lamihan Festival.

C
ORAZÓN AND
I were to perform in a dance contest. There was every conceivable type of contest at the Lami-Lamihan. There was the cooking contest, a tree-chopping contest, a
tinikling
contest. The
tinikling
was my favorite. I loved the sound as the two large bamboo sticks met and separated on the ground. The typical beat is for the two bamboo holders to hit the ground twice, then bring the sticks together on the third beat and repeat again. There are usually two wooden bars set crosswise underneath, so that the carriers do not hit their fists on the ground when they strike.

It challenged me, skipping in and out of the two sticks without the sticks catching my feet. This was the dance I chose to do. I had intended to perform it with Nene, but she had slowly become closer with Corazón after our party. You know how friends are, fickle. I did not have any plans that night of sabotaging Corazón’s performance. I had already licked my wounds from the party. It was just a joke, you see. I did not think it would hurt anyone. Well, maybe I was a little bitter over Nene’s abandoning me for her, but I swear that wasn’t on my mind that night.

Corazón had decided to do the candela dance.
Pandanggo sa ilaw
, “the dance of light,” as it was called. The dance where one lights candles in little tin or glass containers and, depending on her expertise, more candles are placed on the dancer’s body. The candles are placed on the shoulders, the palms of the hands, and the top of the head. An amateur, for example, would have only the two candles carried in the palms of her hands. Corazón was an expert. She was graceful, so it was an easy dance for her. As I watched her practice that morning, the idea came to me to make it a little more challenging. So I placed more wax in the candles, so that the weight she had practiced and grown accustomed to would be different.

As we walked around the festival, watching the different contests, my mind was somewhere else. I think maybe I was practicing the dance steps for that evening, but it is so long ago that I cannot say for sure. Corazón was excited; Matthew was to participate in a tree-climbing contest, so she and Nene rushed
us over to the section of coconut trees. We watched as they introduced Matthew and he took off his shoes and rolled his pants up to his ankles, and then he took off his shirt and the girls called out and giggled. They announced another name, and the girls shouted once again. Nene nudged me. “Did you hear? Jamie Bautista is in the contest.”

I shrugged but moved farther forward to better see. Matthew was grinning and playing to the crowd, flexing his arm muscles, but he was not as impressive as Jamie. Jamie worked with his father in the fields night and day, so his body was very lean and muscular. I thought my eyes would go crossed from staring at his body too hard.

Mama used to tell us that if we stared too long at something we were not supposed to, like a boy’s pee pee, our eyes would go crossed and stay that way. Anyhow, that is how Jamie caught me when he turned to wave at Corazón and Nene, who were shouting out his name like a couple of yellow-beaked parrots. I blushed, and he smiled.

“Oh, see, you still like him,” Corazón and Nene teased.

“Shut up,” I said, biting my lip. But I found myself shouting for him when the gun went off and he started to climb the tree like an expert. He hoisted himself up so quickly, using his bare feet. He made it to the top and cut down all the coconuts, dropping them into a net bag tied around his waist. The first thing he did when he received his little trophy, a wooden miniature of a man climbing a tree, was come over and give it to me. I guess that was his way of making up for our lost time. From then on, he and Matthew stuck by our side. I must say, that is the best time I can remember ever having with Corazón. Maybe because we were both too preoccupied to fight.

We visited the various little booths until the intoxicating scent of turon crooked its finger at us. The sweet bananas were hot from the frying, and the flaky pastry shell sprinkled with sugar and melted into the mushy filling stopped our wanderings, and we bought two each. I enjoyed myself so much that I forgot about the extra wax I had added to Cora’s candles. And by the time I remembered, it was too late.

I
T HAD GROWN
dark, and the festival was now lighted everywhere by orange and green paper lanterns. The dance arena was roped off by a small square section. I had just finished doing my dance and received much applause. My only competition was Corazón. As I got off the stage, Matthew came to congratulate me, hugging me a little longer than usual. And when he bent to give me a kiss on the cheek, he sneaked his lips a little closer to mine. I quickly moved away
from him and grabbed Jamie’s arm before he could see what had happened. I sat cross-legged with him holding my hand as Corazón came out. I even clapped as she brought out the candles, until I remembered with dismay what I had done.

As always, her beauty received involuntary sighs and jealous whispers. She smiled sweetly, walking with her natural grace to the row of candles on the floor. She began by swaying to the music, lighting the first candle and then weaving in and out as she did the rest. The idea was to start easy and place one candle on her head and continue to dance, then two on her shoulders, the insides of her arms near the hollows of her elbows, and then finally two in each hand. The ones on the insides of her arms were her own creation. She added those for difficulty and maybe to show off a little.

When she bent to place the first one on her head, the audience smiled in anticipation. I saw a slight look of confusion cross her face. I think she realized then that the weight she had grown accustomed to was different, but still it was proceeding nicely. Next she placed the two on her shoulders, and the one on her left appeared a little wobbly. The audience held its breath, but she overcame it and everyone clapped. Next she reached for the ones for the insides of her arms, and I could see fear cross her face. The weights were very different, and as she tried to balance and compensate for the two new ones, the candle atop her head, now burning with hot wax, fell off and singed her hair, and the ones on her shoulders fell on her arms. The audience gasped, and many ran up to help her.

I was the only one who stayed seated in shock, but that must have given me away. Jamie and Matthew ran up to see how she was, and when Jamie returned he looked at me accusingly. “Someone added more wax to each candle.” Before I could respond he walked off.

“Are you all right, Cora?” I asked stiffly.

She moved away from me, but not before she gave me a sore look. The same look she had given me when I paid the
kalesa
driver to take her away, the same look as when I tried to lose her on that first day of school. She never said a word; just that look said it all. I ran after Jamie and grabbed his arm.

“Jamie, where are you going?” I pleaded. My whole body ached for him to need me.

“Let him go, Anna.” Matthew had come to stand behind me.

The trouble was, I couldn’t. I had replaced my obsession for my mother’s attention with my rivalry for Jamie’s affection. I wanted to be chosen over Corazón.

“I cannot believe you, Anna,” Jamie said, running a tense hand through his hair.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play stupid. Why do you do such things? Unless I’m blind, your sister is nothing but kind to you. Yet you play these evil games with her. Just when I think I know you, when I’m just about to fall for you—”

“You’re falling for me?” I asked.

He stopped and sighed, his hands on his hips. “Will you stop this nonsense with your sister? What is it all about?”

“I—” The words would not come out. I wanted to explain how I never wanted a new sister. How she stole my mother’s love, and then my best friend. How she was always undermining my happiness. But all that came out was, “I’ll stop.” They were hollow words. I think God heard this and knew. Promises should be sacred; I think I cursed myself by making one I did not intend to keep. Maybe I should have told Jamie this. Maybe if I had told him, he would have helped me to stop. But it was too late. It was already in my blood, already in our fates for me to continue to the end.