When Tomorrow Never Comes (13 page)

I was stuck in place while the person who held the key to my heart walked away.

He was truly gone. Cole had left me.

Liam had left me.

Dear Diary,

I’m going crazy. That has to be it. I can’t still be seeing you when you’re not actually here. Could there be another reason why you’re still haunting me…

My eyes flutter as I struggle to open them.

“There you are.” Jayce whispers as his face comes into view.

His hand strokes my cheek as he smiles down at me. “How are you feeling?”

My head hurt, plain and simple.

“I feel like I’ve gotten run over by a train.” I answer softly. Even the sound of my own voice made the pounding in my head hurt worse.

“Well, you did take a pretty nasty fall.” Jayce sighs softly.

Glancing around the room I notice the absence of Matt and Eric.

“Where are Matt and Eric?” I ask as I turn my attention back to Jayce.

“They just left for a minute. Matt went to get some food for us and Eric is right outside talking to his boss.” Jayce answers easily.

“How long have we been here?” I inquire next.

“We’ve been here two days.” He replies.

“Two days?” I whisper in disbelief.

He nods. “We were really getting worried about you.”

“Where’s Liam?” I ask suddenly.

Jayce gives me a weird look for a moment before he answers my question. “He was never here, Eve. I called him to tell him what had happened but he was never here.”

It was a lie.

I knew that Liam had been here.

But instead of fighting him on it like I should have I nod my head and then turn my attention to the door as Eric walks in.

He pauses in place before rushing to my side. “I’m so glad to see you awake. You have no idea how badly you scared us.”

“I’m sorry, papa bear.” I apologize as I take his hand in mine.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Princess, but you’re going to have to come clean about what’s been happening to you. We need to know what’s causing these blackouts.” Eric replies gently.

I nod in agreement.

I knew well enough that this was becoming a problem.

Like they had discussed before, it could be deadly if it happened while driving or on the bike with Jayce.

Cole haunted my memories but I didn’t want to be the one haunting theirs.

I didn’t want to die.

And if I had anything to do with it I wouldn’t leave my family until I was old and wrinkled after living a full life.

Grabbing his phone from his pocket he punches a few buttons before handing the phone over to Jayce. “Can you call Matt for me and tell him that she’s awake while I talk with Eve alone for a few minutes?”

Jayce nods as he takes the phone.

After hitting a button he places the phone to his ear while walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as the door clicks shut Eric turns his attention towards me. “Tell me what happened in the shower, Eve.”

I nod and then sigh softly. “Everything was fine one second and the next I saw Cole in front of me. I reached out as if I could touch him but…” I trail off as I take a deep breath.

“But…” Eric presses.

“But when he got closer he was dead and decaying. I screamed and the next thing I knew I was falling. I tried to grab the shower curtain but it didn’t work.” I reply quietly.

He nods for a moment. “What happened the night of the dance on the stairs?”

“That was different. I still saw Cole but it wasn’t anything like what happened in the shower. I just saw him standing in Jayce’s place. It was like being pulled back in time.” I explain.

“Have you had any other episodes like that?” Eric questions next.

“I always think about him, Dad. He haunts my every moment but lately it has gotten worse. I haven’t had any other spells like the shower and dance though. I can usually control my thoughts and memories.” I answer.

“It seems like the nightmares have been replaced by a different sort of PTSD.” Eric sighs roughly.

“Do you think it’s because of Liam?” I whisper.

“Princess, I honestly don’t know. It might be.” He replies gently while squeezing my hand softly.

“Was he here earlier?” I ask.

Eric nods his head. “He was here but he left. You talked to him as if he was Cole. It killed him to leave you but we all thought it would be for the best.”

I nod my head and close my eyes as I tilt my face towards the ceiling.

After a few moments I turn my attention back to Eric. “What do you think? Am I making the right decision by leaving Liam behind and moving on with Jayce or should I focus on what I had with Liam. Maybe these memories of Cole have something to do with him, but maybe it isn’t in a bad way.”

“Do you want my honest, unfiltered, opinion?” Eric asks.

I nod. “I want to know exactly what you’re thinking.”

He nods once as he scrubs one hand over his mouth. “I think you should move on. For one, I do believe being around Liam is fueling these memories. Second, I think getting away from anything that reminds you of Cole is for the best.”

Eric sighs and stands to his feet before pacing back and forth next to the bed. “I want you to follow what your heart is telling you, Eve. That’s honestly the only way to figure this out.”

“Who is your heart leading you towards?” He then questions as he pauses his pacing.

Bowing my head I think about it.

I honestly couldn’t tell which way my heart was pulling me.

Glancing back up at Eric I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

“The only way to figure it out is to take this day by day. We’re going to have to keep a closer eye on you so what happened in the shower and on the stairs doesn’t end up getting you hurt any worse than this.” Eric replies.

I nod in agreement. “Someone’s going to have to watch me twenty-four seven.”

“We’ll figure something out, Princess.” He reassures.

Before we get another word out Matt bursts through the door and then over to my bedside before grabbing me into an abrupt hug.

“How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?” He fires off as he holds onto me tightly.

“I do need something to take the pain in my head away. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.” I sigh.

Nodding Matt leans back. “I’ll go find a doctor.”

With that he rushes back out of the room into the hallway.

“He’s going to baby you until you’re completely better. He doesn’t do well when this kind of stuff happens. He’s really not taking it well since it’s you.” Eric laughs lightly.

“I’ll warn you now that he might try to spoon feed you.” He adds.

I snort and roll my eyes in amusement until I see the seriousness in his eyes.

Shaking my head I sigh. “This is going to suck, isn’t it?”

“Yep, but he’ll get over it. For now just let him care for you in any way that he wants.” Eric suggests.

A few seconds later, Matt rushes back in with a doctor and Jayce following close behind.

The doctor goes about checking my vitals and then shines a bright light into my eyes causing me to wince in pain as I groan.

Clicking off his light the doctor nods his head and then turns his attention towards Matt. “I’ll get something to take her pain away and then we will talk about her release.”

With that he promptly leaves the room.

“I can’t wait to get home.” I groan as I place my arm over my eyes for a few moments.

“Princess, we might need you to stay here. We don’t exactly have someone who can watch you tomorrow since both Matt and I have to return to work.” Eric replies gently.

“I could watch her for you.” Jayce chimes in.

Eric shakes his head. “I don’t exactly feel comfortable leaving you two alone.”

“I could have Ben come over to help me take care of her, if that makes it any better.” Jayce tries to reason.

I was thankful that he was trying to help me get home.

Right now I wanted to be in my own bed relaxing instead of being stuck in this uncomfortable hospital bed with all of the beeping noises slicing into my skull.

“If you could get Maggie to help then I’ll let Eve come home.” Eric states.

Jayce nods. “Done, I can have her come over.”

“Alright, then it’s settled. We’ll try to get you out of here today. I know you’ll be more comfortable at home anyway.” Matt chimes in this time.

As the doctor returns everyone stays silent as he gives me a shot for the pain.

And when the doctor leaves Matt and Eric go with him.

Jayce takes my hand in his as he sits down in a chair next to me. “I’m glad you’re going to be alright.”

I nod and he continues on with a rough sigh. “I shouldn’t have left you. I feel like this could have been avoided if I would have just stayed.”

“None of this was your fault. It could have happened at any time.” I reassure him.

“But you can’t deny that this keeps happening when I’m around.” Jayce argues.

“You weren’t around this time.” I argue lightly.

He nods. “I wasn’t and look how badly you got hurt.”

“Then you’re going to need to be around me more. You can keep me out of trouble.” I reply with a grin.

Jayce grins. “I can do that.”

Dear Diary,

I want just one day, just one day without your face flashing into my memory. Is that so much to ask for…?

After a waiting game I was finally released from the hospital. The doctors had wanted to keep me for one more night but I was more than ready to go.

It took a lot of testing and talking on my part but they had finally given in.

Now, we were home and between Jayce and Eric I hadn’t walked a single step since I had left the hospital.

I wasn’t exactly fighting it but it was a little bit overbearing.

“You can put me down, Jayce. I can walk on my own.” I try as Jayce begins walking me upstairs towards my room.

“I’m not putting you down here.” He states in a stern tone.

I sigh and give up.

He was going to do whatever he wanted and I was just going to have to suck it up and go along with the pampering that he wanted to do.

In my room he places me down on my bed.

Instantly I sit up and go to climb off of the bed but he gives me a stern look as he steps in front of me so I couldn’t stand to my feet.

“You’re not going anywhere, Eve.” He grunts.

I shake my head and laugh as I point towards the bathroom. “Well, I have to use the bathroom and if you’re ready to see that then by all means…”

As he gives me a smirk I shut my mouth realizing that I shouldn’t have given him an in.

“You know what I can do this on my own, just stay out here.” I state instead as I push him to the side before standing up on my feet.

Thankfully he stays put while I make my way into the bathroom.

Shutting the door I lock it before moving over to the mirror.

All I had really wanted was a moment alone.

Staring at myself I gently touch the lower part of my jaw. It was covered in a purplish-blue bruise on the right side.

When I close my eyes Cole flashes his way into my mind yet again.

This time instead of blanking out I burst into a fit of silent sobs.

God, I still missed him.

I was beginning to believe that I was never going to be able to let him go. Then again maybe that was the whole problem.

Maybe I didn’t need to let him go.

Holding on might have been the better route, holding on and then moving past it.

So far trying to forget Cole had only made things worse.

“Are you alright, Eve?” Jayce calls out as he knocks on the door.

Wiping my eyes quickly I breath in deeply before answering him. “I’m fine, Jayce, I’ll be out in a second.”

Unfortunately he doesn’t accept my answer because it only takes a moment before the door swings open.

“Why are you crying?” He questions while grabbing me into his arms.

Instead of answering him I motion towards the door. “How did you get through the door, I locked it?”

“I can pick locks, but stop avoiding my question, Eve.” He replies as he leans back and places his hands on either side of my face as his thumbs wipe away my remaining tears. “Why were you crying?”

Closing my eyes I bow my head.

“I just miss him.” I whisper.

“I get it, but from now on you don’t have to hide. You don’t have to hide your tears from anyone, especially not me. Out of everyone I understand what you’re going through the most.” Jayce replies gently.

“How did you get past all of this?” I ask him quietly.

“It wasn’t easy for me but after a while I realized that I hadn’t actually been in love with her. I realized that she wasn’t everything that I had thought she was.” Jayce explains.

“I also realized what a selfish person she was for leaving me the way that she had.” He adds.

His words made complete sense.

If I would have been completely in love with Cole then I never would have spent a night with Liam, I never would have cheated on him.

And Cole had been selfish for taking his own life.

He had left so many broken hearts behind, not only my own. He had broken his parent’s hearts and Liam’s.

“Do you think I’ll be able to get past this?” I then ask.

I don’t know why I was placing this on his shoulders but I figured he would be able to tell me the honest truth.

“I think you will, just don’t do anything stupid like I did.” He replies.

I nod and place my hand over his chest where his scar was. There was no way I would let myself forget what had happened to him.

“How did you survive?” I whisper as I search his eyes.

“I nearly didn’t. When I wrecked my car I messed up my heart pretty badly. When they rushed me into the hospital they prepped me for a heart transplant.” Jayce explains softly before closing his eyes for a moment.

“Since Alyssa had been an organ donor they gave me her heart. She saved me from death even though she didn’t save herself.” He whispers with raw emotion.

“The worst part about it all was the fact that if I would have checked Alyssa for a pulse I could have saved her. She had died in the hospital just moments before I was brought in.” He adds softly.

“That’s terrible, Jayce.”  I reply softly as I place my hand against his cheek.

He leans into my touch as he closes his eyes again.

In the next moment his hands hold me close before his lips descend upon mine.

We get swept away, and before I know it Jayce is lifting me into his arms while wrapping my legs around his waist before carrying me out into the bedroom where he then lays me down before hovering over my body.

His eyes were heated with want.

I was almost certain that my eyes held the same intensity.

After searching my eyes for a moment Jayce asks the question that I was more than ready to answer. “Do you want this?”

I nod. “I do, Jayce. I want this with you.”

And honestly at this moment he was what I wanted. He was the step that I needed to be able to move forward.

If we did this I was certain that I would be able to leave all thoughts of Cole and Liam behind.

My full attention could be focused on him.

Jayce searches my eyes for one more brief moment before grinning. A second later his lips crash into mine again while his hands slide just under my shirt.

Their warmth sets my body on fire as his tongue tangles with mine in an intimate dance of passion.

I moan softly and he takes that as his cue to tug my shirt up and then off of me while his lips turn to assaulting my neck which only elicits more moans to fall from my lips.

In turn I reach for his shirt and tug it up and over his head before tossing it to the floor absently.

Jayce then unbuttons my jeans before slipping them off of me while I work on unbuckling the buckle on his belt.

Once I get it undone he helps me slip his pants off before he resumes his spot hovering over me while his lips snake a trail down my bare body.

My fingers dig into his skin lightly as he positions himself between my legs while he stares down into my eyes, searching once again for my response.

Even now, I was still all in.

It surprised me a little since I didn’t really know Jayce all that much, but I knew we would have more than enough time to figure all those details out later.

Right now I was going to live in this moment.

Wordlessly I move my hands down Jayce’s back before firmly grabbing his hips pulling him forward just enough that he would get the silent message I was sending him.

With a low grunt Jayce meets my demands with a swift move which leaves me gasping with pure pleasure.

Every thought in my mind fades away as pure bliss fully encompasses my body.

I was his.

His name leaves my lips on the wave of a small moan. “Jayce…”

Jayce responds with a low groan of pleasure as he continues to move, his bare skin heating mine as he presses his body further into me.

Staring into Jayce’s eyes I get utterly and completely lost.

It only takes a moment but I close my eyes and then open again only to find myself staring up into Cole’s dead eyes.

I’m barely able to hold the scream back that wanted to leave my lips.

“You said you loved me.” His dead lips whisper.

Shaking my head I close my eyes tightly and silently beg for this nightmare to end. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?

Thankfully when I manage to find the courage to reopen my eyes I find myself looking into Jayce’s.

His eyes are filled with question and worry.

“Are you alright, Eve? I’m not hurting you, am I?” He questions gently.

“You’re not hurting me, Jayce. I just had a bad moment, that’s all. We can continue.” I reply honestly.

“Are you sure? We can stop if you need to.” Jayce suggests.

I shake my head. “I don’t want to stop.”

Smiling he nods his head before moving within me.

I moan softly but that feeling of bliss had disappeared. The moment between us had been ruined, at least from my side it had been.

Jayce didn’t seem a bit bothered by what had transpired, but that was because he hadn’t just seen his dead girlfriend staring back at him.

I couldn’t shake that image no matter how hard I wanted to.

Cole was going to be stuck in my memories forever.

“I hate to leave you like this, Eve, but your dads are going to start wondering what we’re doing up here all alone.” Jayce sighs as he buttons his jeans.

Sitting on the edge of my bed he leans down to press his lips against mine for a tender kiss.

As he pulls back I smile. “They wouldn’t mind as much as you would think. If they were really worried they would have barged in here already.”

Jayce laughs lightly. “Either way I don’t want to test my luck.”

Tugging him down I manage to get one more kiss from him before he stands to his feet.

“I’ll be back later, okay.” He grins and I nod.

A moment later he walks to my door before glancing back at me once before then leaving my room altogether.

Sighing softly I cover my face with my blanket as the door shuts.

When the door to my room opens again I scramble to cover myself with an extra blanket as Eric walks in.

His eyes scan over me with a knowing look as he comes to a stop in the middle of my room.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing.” He sighs.

“I do and I’ll be careful, papa bear.” I reply.

“Be careful with your heart, Princess, and don’t let him steal it if you’re not ready to give it away.” He adds.

I nod my head in understanding.

I would guard my heart, but I wouldn’t be able to let it go until I was able to let Cole go first.

To hold onto him while giving my heart to another wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to only give a part of myself away.

When I finally did give my heart away I wanted to be able to give myself wholly to whomever it was that I had come to love.

“Now, why don’t you get cleaned up and dressed. Matt has dinner waiting for us downstairs.” Eric grunts, changing the subject.

I nod. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Eric nods and then points towards the bathroom. “Be careful, okay. I don’t think I could handle another accident again.”

With that he leaves my room shutting the door behind him.

Sighing I roll out from under my blankets and make my way into my bathroom.

This time as I step into the shower I focus my mind solely on Jayce and what we had just done together.

I think over what it meant.

My life was changing.

And I believed that just like before when I had come to live here that this, me and Jayce, was a gift and a blessing for me.