Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (17 page)

Chapter 21

I passed the bedroom and caught muffled giggles so I knew she was chatting to
Julia and then once I was alone in my room I pulled out the diary that I had removed from Charlie’s room that morning. I knew she wouldn’t miss it tonight and for some reason I needed it, to relive and remember how good first love can feel and how badly it can all fall apart. I flicked forward to where I had last finished reading. Before I settled down I turned on my ipod and selected my mix of favourite songs from the eighties to keep me company as I started to read.

Tuesday 5
th
July, 1988

Waking up together for the last time in the hotel room; I didn’t really want to leave as I had spent the most magical time with James. But it wasn’t too bad as I was heading back to James’ parents house and there was going to be a party on the Saturday night so I was going to meet loads of his family which was a bit scary for me. We made love for a final time in the sumptuous four poster bed and then after a shower and breakfast we packed our bags and headed for the car.

On the drive back to James’ we talked, I told James that I had an interview the following week for a holiday job at the local hospital working on their radio station. I was hoping to impress them as it would really help with my future career plans. James had also been for an initial interview with the Fire Service and was just waiting to hear if he had got to the medical and physical test stage. It felt strange discussing our futures when all I really hoped was that we had a long term future together. I felt that now we had made love James would no longer feel frustrated when we were not together, the words of Felicity still plagued me but some of those ghosts had been dispelled these last few days.

As we pulled up in the driveway I noticed the birthday balloons and banners that welcomed James home. Once inside he opened more cards and presents from family and friends, including one from Chris saying that he was hoping to come up for the party and would it be ok for him to bring Sarah too. I couldn’t wait to see her again and tell her all that had happened since I said goodbye to her at the school dance. We had Chinese takeaway for tea and all sat round talking about the party and who was coming.

Later when we were in bed together we made love quietly but because I was afraid to make a sound I couldn’t relax as much as I had at the hotel and my orgasm eluded me. It didn’t matter as I was just happy to be with him, he was my world and everything revolved around him.

That had been my problem all those years ago; I had fallen so hard and deep for James that I hadn’t thought to protect my heart. I had never been in love before, I never realised that it wouldn’t last forever in my naivety. I had not been so reckless with my husband Mark. There had always been that small barrier between him and my true feelings. In fact I knew that as I read on through these next few months’ entries it would mention our first meeting.

Wednesday 6
th
July, 1988

I still can’t get to grips with James’ Mum waking us up with cups of coffee in bed; I could never imagine my Mum even getting to the stage of allowing me to share the same bed with James. We decided to head off to Warwick Castle this afternoon as I had always wanted to go there and since moving to the area James had never been.

It was breathtaking looking at the castle and we enjoyed watching the re-enactments of jousting and falconry. It felt good to just wander around hand in hand making and sharing memories together. In the evening we went to the cinema as there was a new Tom Cruise film out called Cocktail. It was great, especially when they were making love under the waterfall and on the beach. Leaning over I whispered to James

“I wish we could do that”

“One day, baby”

That night as we made love I imagined us together under a waterfall, the droplets falling on our bodies, kissing our hot skin with their coolness.

Thursday 7
th
July, 1988

James was working the lunchtime shift at the pool today so I said I would go with him and then when he finished we could both swim together. Pam had offered to take me shopping in town with her but I just didn’t want to waste any moment that I could spend with James. I sat on the balcony area with my book, it was taking me a long time to get through ‘Riders’ by Jilly Cooper but it was definitely a more enjoyable read now that I had experienced the high of making love. Every few minutes I looked up from the page to watch as James walked around the pool or sat in his chair, when our eyes met his face would light up with a smile. I still couldn’t quite believe that he was mine.

Suddenly I spotted Felicity stalking around the pool to where James was standing. She looked fabulous in her tight red shorts and white t-shirt that was probably a bit too small for her. I could see the eyes of all the men in the pool drinking her in but what really worries me was her gaze that had settled well and truly on my boyfriend. She hadn’t realised that I was in the building and I watched her stand close to James. From the angle I was at I could see everything as she leant in to ask or tell him something I watched as her hand moved around and down across James’ bum. He flinched slightly from the touch and looked up to where I was sat so I quickly looked back into my book, pretending that I hadn’t noticed what was going on at the poolside.

Then as she walked away she squeezed his arm and for some reason she looked up to where I was sat. Spotting me she smiled and gave me a small wave, she looked so smug and self satisfied. I wanted to kill her there and then as jealousy bubbled inside of me. When James gave me the nod I went downstairs and emerged on poolside looking radiant in my bikini. The time on the beach had given my pale skin a sun kissed look, I soon spotted James who had managed to beat me into the pool and I dived in and swam over to join him. He pulled me under the water and planted a long kiss on my lips before we surfaced.

“I always remember that kiss” I said as we stopped for a breather on the poolside.

“Me too, I think I knew then that I wanted to spend more time with you”

“That was my first ever kiss you know” I responded “I’ll never forget it for t
he rest of my life”

Before I could say another word he quickly swam away and I hurried to catch up with him, managing to grab his ankle and pull him under so that I could kiss him again. I wanted him to know that he was mine. I wanted to dispel any worries I had that he could possible like or want Felicity more than me.

Friday 8
th
July, 1988

We went shopping for the day in preparation for the party tomorrow evening. It was great fun trying on all the dresses and having James there waiting to let me know if he liked the dress or not. Eventually we found the perfect dress and then he proceeded to buy me shoes and also some lovely new matching underwear. When we left the shop he whispered “I can’t wait to see you in that and I definitely can’t wait to get you out of it either, my party will be hell waiting to get you undressed later”

James bought himself a new shirt while we were out and then we spent an exhausting evening blowing up balloons for the following night.

Saturday 9
th
July, 1988

The day dawned bright and sunny so we spent the morning sunbathing in the garden and relaxing before we had to go and get the venue ready for the evening. I giggled at all the photographs that his Mum had put up around the place of James when he was a baby and a young boy, he looked cute even then. His cake was shaped like a fire engine and looked fantastic, I watched with interest the DJ setting up his decks and equipment and he even showed me how it all worked when he did the sound check.

Back at home we got ready, I managed to get my hair up in a similar style to the school dance evening and when I was dressed in my underwear, dress and shoes I surveyed myself in the mirror. I definitely looked different and certainly felt different now I had taken the step from girl to woman. Turning I saw James looking at me from where he was sat on his bed and I gave him a twirl.

“You look breathtaking” he said as I walked over to him and he held me in his arms
. I reached down and placed a careful kiss on his lips so I didn’t ruin my lipstick or get too much on him.

“You look gorgeous and I love you more than ever” I responded
.

“I love you too, till the end of time” he murmured, planting small light kisses down my throat
as his hands took in the curve of my waist and hips.

“Are you ready?” his Dad shouted from the bottom of the stairs

“Yes, coming now” he replied as I took his hand in mine and we headed downstairs.

“You look beautiful Stephanie” his Dad said “I may have to whisk you off for a dance later” he finished
.

“Join the queue Dad” James said, giving him a playful punch on the arm. I laughed and then we were in the car together and heading for the hall.

After being introduced to all his relatives by his Mum and Dad I was able to escape and join James who was standing catching up with Chris and Sarah.

It seemed like ages since I had seen my best friend so we grabbed a table together.

“So how has your week been?” she asked

“Fabulous, you’ll never believe it but James took me straight from the dance to a posh hotel near Blackpool and we stayed there until Tuesday morning”

“And” she pushed, gently
.

I leaned in closer and whispered
.

“We made love, it was fantastic” I breathed, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks at even the thought of all the times we had shared in that hotel room.

“What about you and Chris?”

“Well he walked me home after the dance and we kissed loads and when he hasn’t been at work we’ve been spending time together, he’s lovely” she replied, she looked dreamily over at
Chris and he noticed and gave her a smile.

After the food and the cake cutting the party really began to rock, I was pleased to notice that Felicity although invited had not turned up so I was able to relax without her spectre looming over me like dark cloud. All of a sudden the music stopped and everyone turned to look at the DJ but he seemed to have disappeared. James quickly tried the men’s loos and found him slumped over in one of the cubicles throwing up. With some help from his Dad and Chris they managed to get him out and gave him a glass of water but he was in no fit state to continue so I went over

“I’ll play the music” I said “John showed me earlier how the equipment works so I should be ok”

“That’s great Steph, you’re a life saver” James replied, squeezing my hand.

Walking behind the decks I took a few moments to familiarise myself with the layout and all the records I had to choose from and then I got started. It felt fantastic to be so in control of a crowd as they laughed and cheered and the dance floor filled up to overflowing. At the end of the night John had sobered up enough to take back the turn tables so I slipped off the stage and into James’ waiting arms for the slow songs to finish the evening off.

Luckily I had already lined up Father Figure and Take my Breath Away just for the two of us. Hidden by the darkness on the dance floor James held me close and kissed me as we moved together

“I am so lucky to have you as my girlfriend, not just beautiful and sexy
as fuck but a cracking DJ too”

Then as John lit us up with the spotlight James swept me into a waltz and finished by lifting me up, reminding me of our time in
Blackpool, all his family and friends cheered and clapped. As I came back down to earth I looked into James eyes “I love you” I said “I love you too”

Chris and Sarah were staying at James’ parents house so after we had all mucked in to tidy up the venue the four of us decided to walk the short distance back as the moon was bright in the sky and the air was still warm.

“That was one hell of a party” Chris said “You were great on the decks” he finished
.

“Thanks, I loved it” I replied, as James gently squeezed my hand in his. I noticed that Sarah was quiet and then realised that they would be sharing a bed for the first time and she was probably suffering from nerves. I looked over and smiled at her mouthing ‘it will be ok’

James showed them into the spare room and then headed back downstairs to allow them access to the bathroom before we went up.

I had removed my shoes and was standing on the patio gazing up at the stars.

“It’s beautiful” I breathed, as I felt his arms coil around my waist and he looked up into the sky too.

“Not as beautiful as you” he responded as he turned me around and his lips met mine in a kiss that literally left me gasping.