Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (19 page)

BOOK: Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1)
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Standing up he took a better look at me

“So are you new here, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before”

“Yes, I’m going to be working on the radio to help with my media course at college in September” I replied, taking in his blond hair and startling
green eyes. He had a nice smile too.

“Well, Stephanie
, I will look forward to hearing your show soon as I do my rounds, I’m a junior doctor so still in training too” he finished.

“Nice to meet you” I finished “Am I going in the right direction for the reception area?”

“Yes, just keep going down this corridor and it’s through the double doors on your right”


Thanks see you around”

“Yes, you too” he replied, before he hurried off in the opposite direction.

 

Friday 15
th
July, 1988

 

I couldn’t wait to speak to James on the phone, even though we had exchanged letters that week it was always better to talk to him and I had plenty to talk about. I told him all about the Hospital radio job and about all the stuff I had to learn before my first show the following Friday. Then he told me that he had been accepted into the Fire Service but just had to complete his physical and medical which would be in August so if that went well he would be able to start in September.

 

Then we reminisced about our week “Are you still wearing your St Christopher?” I asked.

“Yes, I never take it off” he said, as I imagined his fingers wrapped around it and wished that they were wrapped around me instead.

“I look at the stars every night” I finished.

“I do too” he said, “When I hear certain songs I think of you, at night I dream of you” he finished.

“Me too, when will I see you again?”

“I can get down to yours for the weekend of 5
th
August, sorry it’s not sooner but other staff are away on holiday so there are not many breaks in the shifts”

It sounded far too long to wai
t but I knew I would, I had too and in the end it would be worth it.

 

Thursday 21
st
July, 1988

 

I woke up with nerves again as it was my big day at work, luckily James had sent me a good luck card in the post so I packed it in my bag to take with me. Just as I was about to leave to catch the bus to Hereford the phone rang and it was James.

“Hi Babe, just wanted to wish you good luck for today, you’ll be great”

“Thanks James, it was good of you to give me a call”

“Sorry it’s a quick one but I’m just on my way out to work”

“Me too, but I’ll phone you later and let you know how I get on” I finished

“Love you, loads”

“I Love you too” and then the conversation was over. The walk to the bus stop was suddenly much easier as I floated along on having heard James on the phone.

 

I had never been so pleased to have Jack helping me out for my first show. It was only two hours long but felt like five and it was really tricky to get the music queued up and answer the phone at the same time. I was shattered by the end of it but overjoyed, especially when Jack gave me a hug

“That was great, you have a real flair for music” he said
.

“Thanks, I loved the whole buzz of it” I replied. “Are you heading straight home or do you want to c
ome out for a burger with me and some of the other guys at the hospital?”

“Yes that sounds good” I replied, as we closed all the equipment down and headed for the door.

 

There was a gro
up of people waiting in reception and I watched shyly as Jack introduced them all to me, the only one I knew was Mark who I had bumped into the other day.

“Hi Mark, nice to see you again” I said
.

“Hi Stephanie
, great show, loved the music you played and the kids in the ward appreciated it, I could tell by the smiles on their faces”

“That’s great” I replied as we fell into step with the others. It was great to make so many new friends but all I really wanted to do was head home and speak to James, I wished he had been there to share this with me.

I said goodbye to everyone and headed off to catch the bus, suddenly feeling really tired and extremely lonely.

 

Once I got home I chatted with my parents and then up in my room I called the number I knew by heart and lying back on the bed I waited to hear James’ voice once more.

“Hi James” I said, when he answered on the second ring.

“Hi Steph, how did it go” he asked.

“It was brilliant, but much harder than I thought it would be. You almost have to do three things all at once, play music, answer phone calls and talk live too” I replied.

“Well I’ve got some great news too, I have my physical test on the 1
st
of August so I might know if I get through ok when I next see you” he said. I could hear the excitement in his voice as his dream job appeared to be within reach at last.

“Only two weeks until I see you again” I breathed, softly down the line.

“I know baby, I hope the time flies” he said “I’m missing you so much”

“Me too, my bed is too big without you” I said.

“Mine too” he mirrored, as we paused to think of each other for a moment.

 

I remembered how things had moved on in both of our lives that summer, each taking us closer to the careers we craved but at the same time driving the wedge between us. Lying back on my pillow I wondered whether James was still a Fireman now, as I was a radio DJ and loving it. Was he still married to her? Was he happy? Turning out the light I put aside the diary, knowing that I would put it back in my daughter’s room the following morning when she was at college.

Chapter 23

 

I woke up to music blaring away and coming from Charlie’s room, looking at my clock it wa
s only 6.30am. I had to admit she was definitely dedicated to her dancing as I realised that it was ‘Take my Breath Away’ that was on continuous loop. By 7.30 she was finished and polishing off some toast before college.

“How are things going?” I asked
.

“Great, the song is amazing and I am hoping our routine is going to go well as it’s really tricky in places”

“Well, you know there will be at least three people in the audience who will think it’s fantastic”

“Mum, would it be ok for Mitchell to come and visit this weekend?”

“Yes, is he coming on the train as I don’t mind picking him up” I replied.

“I’ll find out” Charlie replied, as she reached for her phone “I’ll text h
im now and find out” she said, beaming at me.

 

Oh how easy life was now with mobile phones and text messaging, instead of having to wait three or four days for a reply to a letter or that precious once a week phone call.

“He’s got a motorbike so h
e’s going to come down on that, he just needs to know where we live so he can put it into his Sat-Nav” Charlie replied, almost instantly.

I watched as she tapped away again and everything was organised for the weekend.

 

“We’re practising after school again tonight so I’ll be home later, is it ok for Julia to come over and stay?” she asked, as she picked up her bag.

“Yes, that’s fine I’ll pick up some stuff for tea then” I replied.

Once she had left I headed back to my room to retrieve the diary and was about to set it down on her bedside table when I decided I needed one more read and one more trip down memory lane
before work and shopping later.

 

Friday 5
th
August, 1988

 

As the sun was still shining I was sunbathing in the garden when I heard the sound of an engine pulling into the drive and realised that James had arrived at last. He had ended up working the morning shift from 7 till 2 so it was already late afternoon when I finally spotted him coming through the back door and towards me. I quickly stood up and ran towards him as he swept me up into his arms and I kissed him for all I was worth.

“It’s been too long” he breathed as he ran his hands through my hair and at the same time sent shivers immediately down my spine.

 

“I’ve missed you” I responded as I trailed small kisses over his face and neck.

“Steady now, remember what happened the last time we were in a garden” he joked.

“How could I forget” I replied, blushing at the memories we had made in the
moonlight on his parents lawn.

“I forgot to say, m
y Dad found one of your stockings draped over the apple tree the following day”

“Oh God” I replied, blushing like mad

“It’s ok, he just gave it back to me with a rather knowing look on his face, anyway he thinks you’re great and Mum does too”

“I’ll still feel embarrassed when I see them next” I said “Dad’s cooking BBQ later and I’ll warn you now it’s normally burnt offerings” I finished as I gathered my book and my empty glass and we walked back towards the house.

 

“When will you get your exam result
s?” he asked, as we sat in the kitchen with another cold drink.

“Next week, I’m a bit nervous but I’ve already got a place at college so I don’t
mind as long as they aren’t dreadful”

“You’ll be fine, anyhow what about you?” I asked, as I watched a huge grin light up his face

“I’ll be a fireman in September” he finished. “I’ve already handed my notice in at work so my last day will be at the end of August and then I start properly on Monday 5
th
September”

Catching his hand in mine I pulled him close and gave him a long kiss, until we were interrupted by the sound of my Mum heading through to the garden with plates and cutlery.

“We’ll be eating soon” she said “Would you like a cold beer or wine?” she asked James

“Beer will be great Mrs M” he replied

“We’re just going to pop upstairs and get changed” I finished, hopping up and heading for the stairs, James right behind me.

 

In the bedroom I changed into my long sundress and pulled my hair out of my pony tail so it dropped down over my neck and back. James pulled me close and breathed in “You smell gorgeous, coconut suntan cream” he murmured.

“Glad you like” I responded as I reached up and gave him another kiss
.

“I can’t wait to see you in your uniform” I finished “You can be my hero anytime”

James laughed as we heard Mum shouting for us so he caught me up in his arms and then slung me over his shoulder

“Fireman’s lift for you young lady”

As he carried me downstairs I admired his back and bum, knowing I would definitely get to stroke them later tonight.

 

The evening flew by in the garden, Mum and Dad were eager to hear about James’ new job and then I started talking about Hospital Radio and for once the food was not burnt. Eventually they left us in the garden and headed inside. It was a half moon that lit the sky and the two of us as I crawled onto James’ lap and we kissed until I shivered with longing for more.

“Let’s go in” I breathed, softly as I nibbled his ear and neck.

Once in my room we soon lost our clothes and were naked on my single bed, pressed tightly together in our embrace. I guess we had both been apart for too long as our love making was urgent and quick but still satisfying as we lay lost in the moment, linked together.

 

After hearing my parents go to bed we dozed for a bit then I woke up and decided to wake James up with my tongue and mouth. I crawled under the duvet and found what I was looking for and carefully ran my tongue over it’s length, James stirred immediately but lay still so I continued and took him all into my mouth and this time I didn’t stop until I had the warmth and taste of him sliding down my throat and sticky on my lips.

James pulled me up into his arms and the look in his eyes said it all
.

“That was the best” he murmured as he kissed me “You taste salty”

“No I taste of you and its wonderful” I replied, grinning at him, my eyes sparkling with the feelings of love I felt for him.

 

“Well, I believe it’s my turn now” he responded as he made me lie down and then started to trail kisses over my already quivering body before his lips reached my special place. Breathing in I closed my eyes and gave myself completely to the sensations his lips and tongue were creating. From the centre of me they radiated out in ripples that grew stronger and stronger until I arched my back and holding his head in my hands I came, shuddering under his touch.

 

“I love you till the end of time” I said as we curled up together.

“I love you too” he responded, as we slept until my alarm sounded and
I needed to creep down to the spare room. Even that short stretch of time we spent apart was almost too much to bear as I wished my parents were as liberal as James’ were.

 

Saturday 6
th
August, 1988

 

It was Carnival day in town and for once it was not raining. However it was cooler than the day before so I grabbed a cardigan to cover my shoulders as we headed into town. We had arranged to meet Sarah and Chris at his flat and after we had caught up on each other’s news we headed the short walk into town which was absolutely buzzing with people. We were able to find a good vantage point near the Market House to view the carnival parade as we waited for the sound of the first marching band.

 

It was a corny spectacle of tacky flower covered Lorries and plenty of children dressed in various outfits, waving and throwing sweets out to the crowds. Some of them had water pistols and we tried to avoid the water arches but failed and it didn’t matter as the atmosphere of the day was so full of fun it was infectious.

 

We followed the crowd heading towards the river bank and the small array of fun fair rides that were set up on the one side. On the other side of the road were traders selling and the usual fair ground stalls. Being with Chris and Sarah meant that the guys got incredibly competitive at the various stalls and tried to prove their worth on the coconut shy, shooting game and hooking ducks. Sarah and I soon held an assortment of cuddly animals that they had won for us. Then we literally went for a spin on the Waltzers and discovered that it was almost impossible to kiss whilst spinning around, but it was fun trying.

 

After hot dogs and doughnuts later we wandered along to the Hope & Anchor pub and managed to find a table in the crowds. James fetched us all a drink and we sat and talked. Chris had applied to join the Army and was off for an interview for that shortly, if he got it he would have to go off for training in Colchester so I understood completely the look of sorrow that flashed over the eyes of Sarah at the thought of losing him. As the sun sunk and showered red and gold over the placid winding river we decided to call it a night and head home.

 

After leaving Sarah at Chris’ flat we continued further along the road.

“This reminds me of the first time you wa
lked me home from the Swimming Pool” I said, looking up at James and seeing his smile.

“Do you know how much courage it took for me to ask you, I was so worried that you wouldn’t like
me?”

“Not like you” I breathed “I was already in love with you at that point” I replied
. “Or at least I thought I was, but I know I am now, 100% prime time in love with you” I said, quoting some lines from Top Gun.

“Show me the way home” James responded, laughing as he pulled me into his arms and we stopped for a kiss.

“If it wasn’t so late we could have watched that film again as I have bought the old rental copy from Chris at the video store” I said, laughing “I watch it at least once a week”

“Christ, you’re almost as bad as me then” he responded with a grin.

“James, you big stud, take me to bed or lose me forever” I said, as I pulled him into my arms and reaching on my tip toes planted a long kiss on his lips.

 

We were at my house before we knew it and after saying goodnight to my parents we headed up to my room. As it was late I ducked into the spare room and waited for my parents to go to sleep before I crept up the attic staircase and to a night of shared passions with my man.

 

Sunday 7
th
August, 1988

 

I was awake before James and decided to take him up toast and coffee as Mum and Dad were heading out for the day so we had the house to ourselves. It meant that we had the chance to make love at leisure and without having to worry about being quiet throughout. James suggested that we tried it standing up but it became a bit of a strain on his knees after a while so we then tried doggy style, which was different but I hated not seeing James’ face so we reverted back to our usual two positions and just enjoyed the time that we had together.

 

For lunch I cooked us Fish Finger sandwiches and we went outside for the afternoon as the sun had decided to come back out. With the radio on the table we spread a blanket out on the lawn and lay down together. James enjoyed spreading sun tan lotion onto my back and I did the same for him as we lay there talking.

“I’m worried about you being a Fireman” I finally said, looking into his eyes

“Why”

“Well, so many get hurt it’s on the news, some even die” I managed, the words getting stuck in my throat as I expressed what to me would be the worst case scenario
.

“I guess I can’t give you any promises but I will take as much care as I can” he murmured “But enough worrying I haven’t even started yet”

“I know, but if you are at any big fires you will ring me as soon as you can and let me know that you are safe” I said, reaching over and kissing him gently on his shoulder.

 

“Well, don’t you think I worry about you in that Hospital with all those young Doctors looking at you?”

“You’re jealous” I said, surprised by this.

“Yes I am” he responded as he returned the kiss with one on my neck that just turned into a string of them as his lips soon touched mine.

“Don’t worry, its you that I love” I murmured, as the strains of ‘Together Forever’ by Rick Astley
floated out of the radio, perfect timing I thought, as we kissed long and deep and listened to the lyrics

 

“Together, Forever and never to part, Together, Forever we two and don’t you know I would move heaven and earth to be Together, Forever with you”

 

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