Where My Heart Belongs (25 page)
Sunny got out of her car and started to make a dash for the porch, but Kathy called to her. “We need to get to the storm cave. Didn’t you hear? We’re under a tornado warning.” Sunny felt a chill go through her. All of their young lives they’d lived with the threat of violent weather. She had to admit in the years that she’d lived in California, she hadn’t missed it. The threat of earthquakes was unnerving at times, but tornadoes were horrific storms that Sunny had hoped to never again endure.
“I didn’t have the radio on,” Sunny told her sister.
They ran for the backyard as the hail grew in size. Kathy opened the shelter door and motioned Sunny inside. “There’s a flashlight at the bottom of the stairs,” she called and pulled the door down just as Sunny managed to locate the piece.
Sunny turned on the flashlight and felt an eerie sensation wash over her. Overhead the hail beat down on the metal door, but otherwise there was no sound.
“I didn’t realize the storm was so close—or so bad.” Kathy secured the latch before coming down the stairs to find the battery-operated lantern. “There, that helps,” she said as she switched on the light. “You can turn the flashlight off. Now for the radio.” She went to the small cupboard and took down the weather alert radio they’d used for years.
“I’d almost forgotten what this was like,” Sunny said, turning off the flashlight. She placed it back where she’d found it. “At least I tried to forget. This place has always scared me. You’ve made it nice in here—well, at least nicer than I remember.” She motioned to a metal rocker with a plastic-covered cushion. “That’s definitely new. Better than the old wooden benches.” She noted they were gone. Other cushioned metal chairs were in their place.
“We’ve probably been down here at least once a year since you left. One year, I can’t remember now which one,” Kathy said, “we were down here almost every night from April through June. It was one storm after another, and most were tornadic. Dad even put cots down here, because there were nights when it was just a good idea to grab some sleep while the storms raged.”
Sunny heard the wind pick up outside and sighed. “I suppose it wouldn’t have been a fitting trip home if I hadn’t endured a good old Kansas storm.”
“What about—”
The weather alert radio cut off Kathy’s words, the dull drone of the weather service’s computerized voice announcing that an important message was about to be delivered.
The news wasn’t good. The sheriff had sited a tornado touching down just southwest of Slocum. If it continued in the path it was on, it would pass very close to the farm. Sunny whispered a prayer for their safety.
“Remember when Mom would sing ‘Shelter in a Time of Storm’ when we’d have to come down here?” she asked her sister.
Kathy nodded. “I do. That’s a pleasant memory in light of all of this.”
“Sounds like the hail stopped.”
“I’m glad for that,” Kathy said. “The farm will be even harder to sell if there’s a lot of damage. I’d hate to have to replace the roof. Dad and I just did that a couple of years ago. We had a storm come through with baseball-sized hail that totally destroyed the windows and really beat up the roof.”
Silence engulfed them for several minutes. Sunny felt a nervous tension that always came with storms, while Kathy seemed calm. Or maybe she was just bored. After all, there was nothing they could do but wait out the storm. Perhaps that was the most maddening thing. All they could do was sit and wait to see what destruction they might face.
“What were you going to say before the radio went off?” Sunny questioned.
Kathy looked a bit uncomfortable. “I guess . . . well . . . I was hoping you’d tell me what happened after you left Brian. If you don’t mind.”
Sunny nodded. She was actually glad to be focused on something else. “Things calmed down a bit, but I realized things had changed. I went to stay at his mom’s because I didn’t have anyplace else to go. The thing that made me saddest was that Lucy never asked about Brian. He wasn’t home enough to miss. She thought staying at Grandma’s was such a great treat, and nothing else really mattered.
“I got tired of waiting to hear from him, so I took Lucy and went home on Christmas morning. He was there— quiet, but at least not angry. I figured with Lucy in tow, he wouldn’t be as likely to make a scene, but I hated risking her comfort. We said very little. He had bought a large red rocking horse for Lucy and she thought it was the best thing in the world. She practically rocked herself to sleep on it. After I put her to bed, I tried to talk to Brian, but he didn’t want to talk. He said talking wouldn’t fix what was wrong with us.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been so frustrating—being accused of something you didn’t do.”
Sunny felt the pain of the memory threaten to strangle her. “No matter what I said, he didn’t want to listen or talk. His mother tried to talk to him too. That only made him mad. He accused me of putting her up to it, but I told him I’d said very little to her about anything.”
“What happened to Rick?”
“Brian bought him out and he went to a firm in Houston. Before he left, he came to the house one night to talk to Brian. I’d already gone to my room—Brian and I had separate rooms by this time. Anyway, I’d gone upstairs, but I heard the sound of voices and went to investigate. Rick was telling Brian he’d misunderstood everything. That was when I found out about Anita.”
“Who’s Anita?”
“She’s Brian’s office manager. It seems she was jealous of me. She had thought she had a chance with Brian prior to his marrying me. From what I could discern, she had all sorts of things planned, but then Brian connected with me and we married very quickly.”
“Did Brian have an affair with her?”
The weather radio went off again. This time the news sounded better. They were still under a tornado warning, but the storm system was shifting north and the tornado that had been spotted earlier was no longer on the ground.
“Well, at least the storm will pass mostly over open ground,” Kathy said, resetting the radio. She turned back to Sunny. “So did he cheat on you?”
“Brian didn’t have an affair as far as I know. But Anita planted thoughts in Brian’s mind, and he thought I was having an affair with Rick. She’d been telling him for months, probably years, that the two of us were sneaking around behind his back.”
“That probably explains his reaction when he came home and found you together.”
Sunny nodded. “I know he figured the worst. Nancy came over one day and we talked about everything. I told her I hadn’t cheated on Brian—that I loved him. She believed me, and that comforted me in a way I can’t even begin to explain. I felt that everyone suspected me of the worst, but not Nancy. In fact, she told me she was worried that Brian was going down the same road as his father. Brian’s dad had divorced Nancy when Brian was about fifteen. He left her for another woman and married soon after the divorce was final. He was actually into his fourth marriage when a heart attack caught up with him.”
“So are you divorced?” Kathy asked.
“Not yet. Things went along in a strange kind of unspoken agreement. We didn’t talk about anything. We didn’t share meals or time together. I lived at the house, but in a separate room. I took care of Lucy as I always had, but Brian wanted nothing to do with either of us.
“Then on Valentine’s Day the doorbell rang. I thought maybe Brian had sent me something—you know, a sort of ‘starting over’ gift. It was cold and rainy that day—strange weather, if I remember right. It felt almost like winter might here, instead of Southern California. I remember shaking uncontrollably even before the man served me with divorce papers. Brian had filed for divorce and was requesting full custody of Lucy.”
“Full custody? What made him think he was entitled to that?”
“Probably because he was rich and felt powerful.”
The weather radio announced an all-clear, but neither sister made a move to leave the shelter. Sunny tried not to get emotional at the memory of that night.
“Brian came home early with an older woman, probably midfifties. Her name was Mrs. Cartwright. He’d hired her as a nanny. He told me in front of her that he wanted me to collect my things and get out of the house. He told me Mrs. Cartwright would care for Lucy and that he was suing for full custody. I told him there was no way he deserved it and I would fight him tooth and nail.”
“What happened then?” Kathy was completely engrossed.
“He told Mrs. Cartwright to wait in the living room while we went upstairs. Lucy had been playing happily in her room, but when she heard us she came to investigate. Brian asked her if she wouldn’t like to live with him for a while—just the two of them. Lucy told him no. She came to me and wrapped her arms around me. I’d never seen Brian angrier. He accused me of turning Lucy against him. He said I had caused him nothing but pain.
“Lucy began to cry and he called for Mrs. Cartwright. The woman came upstairs looking quite uncomfortable with the situation. He commanded her to take Lucy to her room. Lucy screamed as he wrenched her from my arms. She kept calling for me.” Sunny’s voice broke. “I wanted to take her back and run. Run as far as I could, but when I made a move toward her room, Brian took hold of me and pushed me up against the wall. He said that if I did anything to interfere with him and what he wanted, he would see to it that I never saw Lucy again. He told me he had everything he needed to secure his desires—that my past alone would keep a judge from granting me custody of any kind.”
“I’m so sorry, Sunny. That must have been hideous.”
“You can’t even begin to imagine. Brian wasn’t anything like the man I’d married. He seemed so changed. His attitude was completely foreign to me. I worried that maybe he was on drugs, because he was so altered.”
“It’s so strange,” Kathy said, growing reflective. “I sat here all these years believing you were either dead or living the good life. I hated you for either one. Every time someone talked about you, I systematically disassociated myself. I told myself feeling nothing would be better than the pain.”
“I’ve certainly done that enough times myself,” Sunny admitted. She could see that Kathy’s defenses were down and she longed to keep things under control. Her head throbbed from all the crying she’d done. The storm outside had nothing on the storm that raged within her heart.
“You asked me why I was here and not there with them,” Sunny began again. “That’s the reason. Brian told me if I left and cooperated with him, he’d see that I had regular visitation with Lucy and a maintenance stipend—a very generous one.
“I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t put Lucy through the misery of fighting over her. I suggested to Brian that we get counseling and work things out, but he didn’t want to even discuss it. I think Anita had completely convinced him that Rick and I were scheming behind his back. She evidently had been telling Brian that Rick planned to take over his business and patients. That’s why Brian wouldn’t give up any of his people or take time away from the office. I’m sure of that now.”
“What an awful woman. And all because of not being able to have something she wanted.” Kathy shook her head. “To destroy a marriage—a family. How in the world could that woman even live with herself?”
“Some people don’t care who they hurt. They only want what they want—at any price. I know, because I was that person. I’ve told myself over and over that I got what I deserved for treating people the same way.”
“I don’t believe that. I don’t think God works that way. Yes, we have to bear the consequences of our actions, but I can’t see Him wanting to hurt a little girl in the process.”
“I talked to Lucy today. I called my mother-in-law and Lucy happened to be there. Nancy doesn’t hold me responsible for any of this, and for that I’m most thankful. She let me talk to Lucy.” Sunny wiped at her tears. “She . . . she . . . begged . . . No, she demanded,” Sunny said with a harsh laugh, “that I come home.”
“Nancy did?”
“No. Lucy.” Sunny could still hear the pleading in her daughter’s voice. “I’m telling you, Kathy, it nearly killed me.”
KATHY STRUGGLED WITH HER feelings. One side of her felt great sympathy for Sunny, but the other side felt Sunny had probably brought on part of her problems.
After all
, Kathy thought,
look at all the trouble she’s caused our family
.
Sunny said nothing for several minutes. The weather alert radio went off again, this time telling of another tornado in the county to the east of them. Apparently the storm was moving off at a quick pace. Kathy didn’t know whether there was another system heading their way, but she was tired of the storm cave.
“Why don’t we go up and see if we got any damage,” she suggested. “I need some fresh air.”
She got to her feet and headed to the door. “Would you switch off the lantern when I get the door open?”
Sunny nodded while Kathy unlatched the shelter entrance. They went up the stairs and found the skies clear overhead. The sun was already out and everything seemed clean and refreshed by the rain. Kathy didn’t spot any damage and breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted was a delay in selling the farm and getting that part of her life laid to rest.
As much as she regretted leaving Kansas and the only home she’d ever known, she had a true restlessness that urged her forward. The last twelve years were becoming increasingly confusing to her. What she had once thought was an act of selfless love seemed somehow clouded by thoughts that she was breaking out of bondage.
Why should
I feel this way? I loved Mom and Dad and wanted to help them
. She frowned and opened the back porch door.
They turned on the television and found the weather clear to the west. “Why don’t we sit on the porch and you can finish telling me about California and the divorce,” Kathy suggested. Somehow Sunny’s story didn’t seem finished, and Kathy wanted to know what had happened to her sister after Brian kicked her out.
Sunny followed her outside rather reluctantly. They took seats, Kathy in the glider swing and Sunny in a rocker. Kathy knew that Sunny was deeply troubled by the conversation with her daughter. Kathy tried to picture the child as a miniature of Sunny. It seemed so crazy to imagine that Sunny had a daughter—that Kathy had a niece. Kathy shook her head.