Where the Streets have no Name (18 page)

“Of course it is,” she snapped, pushing out of his arms.

“Well, how would I know? It’s been five months since I saw you last.”

“You don’t need to remind me how long it’s been since you…since you kicked me out of your hospital room. Why are you here, Daniel? If all you’re going to do is accuse me of…” She swallowed, her hands trembling and heart breaking all over again.

“
I…shite, love.” He jerked a hand through his hair, eyes flicking between her and the front door. “Can we go inside to talk about this?”

Inside. Surrounded by her things, things that gave her comfort and security. “Sure,” Amelia said, taking her keys from her pocket and unlocking the door.

Her cottage was a fair size but with Daniel inside it felt so much smaller. He moved in behind her and stood in the centre of the main living area, filling the room. She noticed he had a slight limp now – the
Gardaí
, Desmond something-or-other, had smashed Daniel’s kneecap that night in the pub. Five months was a long time but when she compared it to the extent of his injuries, she knew he still had a long stretch of road to his full recovery. And that was if he recovered completely.

Being near him again brought a maelstrom of emotions to the surface, emotions she thought long locked away.
He affected her in ways she never imagined. Like some magic switch, the moment he came back into her life, she wanted him. Wanted to belong to him.

From the look he gave her though, Amelia knew he couldn’t stand the sight of her.

“Holy shit, is this the guy?”

The sound of another female voice stunned Daniel. And the accent was just like Amelia’s.

“Gabby, this is Daniel, and yes, he’s the guy.” Amelia’s hands moved over her belly in a smooth arc. Back and forth. Over and over.

The woman named Gabby, a spitfire with her auburn hair, light caramel tan, and deep brown eyes, sashayed her slender hips over to Amelia and stood next to her, arms crossed, in a protective manner. Every bit the lioness of the group, she glared at him through narrowed eyes and damn if she didn’t look like she’d pounce on him with her claws at the ready if he made one false move.

“So, jerk-face.” Gabby smirked at his raised brows. “Oh, I could have gone much worse, but since I’ll be helping Amelia raise her baby, I’m trying to curb my sharp tongue.”

Her baby.

My baby
.

Daniel’s heart clenched. Memories of his Da, always there, no matter what, acted like a slap to the face. Da came to every school play. He was there every Christmas morning and birthday and event. Always there, always with a smile on his face, always loving him.

“Why are you here?” Gabby asked.

Amelia mumbled something and shuffled to the counter near the front of the cottage. He watched her take the kettle from its stand and fill it up, her movements jerky and unsure.

“Douchebag, I asked you a question.”

“Gabby!” Amelia slapped her palms to the wooden counter top. Silence filled the room, until the buzz of the kettle filled the air. “Can…can you run into town and get me a few Dairy Milk bars, please? I think I finished the last row early this morning.”

“You want me to leave you alone with him?”

Amelia’s shoulders tensed under the lengthy masses of her chocolate waves, hanging just lower than the middle of her back. He remembered lying
on his back on the bed in one of the places they stayed in while she straddled him. Her hair surrounded them with the sweet scent of apples and wildflowers. So silky soft. He’d buried his face at her neck and breathed her fragrance in until he was dizzy with lust. Right then and there, he’d torn his jeans off and somehow removed hers too, and then, without taking off his boxers or her panties, he’d taken her, thrusting deep.

“I’ll be fine, Gabby.” Amelia turned to her friend, blocking him out behind the curtain of her hair. “I…I trust him.”

“You trusted him with your heart and look where it got you.”

Now hold on, Daniel wanted to say, wanted to speak his piece, but Gabby – damn her – she was right. Amelia had trusted him with her heart and he’d shoved the gift of her emotions back in her face.

“Remember what the doctor said,” Gabby went on. “No stress. I think this definitely fits in the category of stress.”

“Something’s wrong?” Daniel said, his heart leaping into his throat.

“Gabby, please. Let me talk to him. If I need anything, I promise I’ll call you.” Amelia slid her arms around her friend’s shoulders, angling her bump to the side. “I promise.”

The two embraced for a few minutes and it was obvious how close they were. At least Amelia had someone to look after her, he thought, disliking the woman and respecting her in the same breath.

Gabby eyed Daniel again, then grabbed her handbag and jacket from the hooks near the front door, and exited the cottage. While the kettle finished boiling, Gabby got in the car and drove away, though he swore he felt her eyes on him until she couldn’t see him any longer.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Amelia asked, her voice breaking his thoughts and returning him to the present.

Amelia.

A baby.

His
baby.

No,
their
baby.

“Eh, aye,” he said, mostly for something to do. “If you tell me where everything is, I can fetch it myself.”

She let out a breath heavy with the sounds of exhaustion. “Sure. Mugs and tea are both in here.” She pointed to a cupboard above her. “Milk in the fridge. Spoons for stirring here.” Her hand touched the stainless steel canister with small silver spoons, sitting next to the kettle.”

“Can…can I help you to…eh…somewhere
to um…” Damn it, his brain died. “Sit,” Daniel said, feeling a little triumphant for coming out with a correct word.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Amelia walked around him, putting an unnecessary amount of space between them. She sat down on an oversized armchair next to the fireplace and propped her legs up on the matching ottoman. “So. Why are you here, Daniel?”

He thought carefully about what to say next while assembling his tea. Amelia hadn’t told him if she wanted one. He didn’t see any instant coffee – or a coffee maker, for that matter. She said she wasn’t a fan of tea.

“If you’re wondering about the coffee, there’s none in the house. Not good for the baby.”

“Ah.” Daniel didn’t turn around to look at her for fear he’d drop to his knees and crawl towards her, begging…for what, he didn’t know.

“I wouldn’t say no to a peppermint tea though. If you wouldn’t mind making me one.”

“Of course.” He spotted the peppermint teabags and put one in a large mug.

A few minutes later he sat across from her in the matching armchair. She avoided his eyes, but she was watching him. Finally, he asked, “So what was Gabby on about? Stress and the baby? What’s the matter?”

Amelia took a deep, long sip of her tea, staring off at the wall. “It’s called Pre-eclampsia and the doctors figure mine is because my body wasn’t used to your um…stuff.” She bit her lip and hid behind her mug, but Daniel noticed the flush in her cheeks. She was nervous.

What did she mean, his ‘stuff?’

“Oh,” he said, realisation dawning. “Ah, aye…”

“Yeah.
It’s not as bad as some women get though. So anyways, I just have to take it easy. Really easy. It’s a good thing Gabby could give up her life back in Vancouver and come stay with me.”

There was that. He might not have hit it off with the lass, but he would thank her for being there for Amelia.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Ah, no.” He chugged down his tea. The brew was still too hot and it scalded his throat on the way down.

“I don’t…I hope you know I don’t expect anything from you. I have my own money, and once the baby is born, I can start working again. Just from home, some software programming, easy stuff.”

“
I want to help though.”

She didn’t respond. Didn’t move. Not even a blink.

Time to change tactics.

“
I got your letter.” Daniel patted his pocket. “I got it yesterday, when I was released from hospital.”

“Oh.” Her eyes fell to the flames in the grate, flickering in a dance of oranges and yellows. “Well, that’s good at least.”

“I came here to…say thank you. They told me you hired the investigator to look into the charges.”

She was silent for a moment. Then,
“Mm-hmm.”

“And,
well, to tell you how sorry I am.” Damn why couldn’t he say what he really wanted to say? “F-for what I did.”

I fecked up, love. I wronged you, and I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you like I did. If I had the power to turn back time I’d have kept myself from being a bloody fool, and told you how much I love you. But I can’t change the past.

See? That sounded fine. Just fine. But he opened his mouth to speak and nonsense came out.

“You had your reasons, I’m sure.” Amelia shifted in the chair, hiding more of her face from him.

“Aye, I might have, but they were the wrong ones.” He sighed. “I know I hurt you, and you might never forgive me, but…”

She turned her head, eyeing him warily. “But what?”

His eyes drifted down to her abdomen again. The gentle swell. Beneath that bump was his child. Growing. They created life together.

Jaysus, he’d lost so much time. Too much. Maybe he’d lost her all together.

The problem, Daniel recognised, was any grovelling he did would be construed as
because
of the baby. He wanted Amelia. Needed her. Loved her. Damn, but he loved her. How to make her see? How to win her back?

He had no precursors, no knowledge of what to do. Had no one to tell him how to achieve his task.
He knew what he wanted; he wanted Amelia. The initial shock of finding her pregnant wore off. He’d been angry. Felt lied to. But then, it took two to make life. No blame. That wasn’t the right way to go. And he didn’t blame her.

“Daniel?”

“Eh?” He looked up. Amelia was watching him, concern etched in her eyes. Oh the sadness in them shot straight to his heart. Searing pain spread in his chest, through his shoulders, down to his hands. He burned for her.

The best way to beat someone at their game, or show them you mean business, lad, is acceptance. Trust me on this one, Daniel. Accept people for who they are. Accept
the things you can’t change. Accept that the world isn’t black and white. Accept and you’ll be accepted.

Aye, Da was such a clever man. But acceptance wasn’t as easy as saying so and hoping for the best. What if rejection ensued? What if…what if…

What if he didn’t try and regretted it for the rest of his miserable life? What if he grovelled and she turned him down?

“If you just came to see that I’m okay, then let me tell you, I’m not. But I will be.”

Her words were acid rain eating away at his flesh.

“I… God, for a long time, I just…gave up.”
Her shoulders dropped and Amelia sighed, hanging her head. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Maybe it’s helping me get over everything. I don’t know.”

She was shutting him out. Closing the door he thought might still be open, just a crack.

“It was two weeks,” she continued in a voice unlike her own. A voice fraught with emotions she tried to conceal from him. “You saw a chance and took it. I get it, I understand. You…you lost so much time. I was there and–”

“Now hold on just a minute!”

Amelia gave him the full view of her face. Dead eyes. All the life, all the mischief, it was gone. “Are you trying to tell me that’s not what happened?”

“No! I mean aye! I mean”– he
fisted his hair at the temples –“you’re confusing my words, lass. Just…give us a minute.”

Amelia
nodded and sipped at her tea. One hand absentmindedly smoothed over her belly, like it was second nature to her now.

Daniel pushed to his feet, ignoring the stab of pain in his knee, and walked through the cottage. All stone and wood and natural materials. Cozy. No wonder she stayed.
This was exactly the kind of place he pictured himself living in. But…did she even want him?

Amelia tried to calm her rapid
pulse. Being alone with Daniel brought back memories she tried to forget. The feel of his hands on her skin, his lips on hers, the way he held her close after they were intimate. It brought everything back to the surface.

He seemed torn. What was he trying to say to her?

Daniel turned, tearing his attention from the nick-knacks and books on the shelving unit across the room from the fireplace, and his eyes landed on her. Hunger. Desire. Need. Want. Lust. And…love?