Where Their Hearts Collide: Wardham Book #2 (5 page)

“I’m no martyr. I
want
to focus on being a dad for the next while. Get that right, you know? Besides, you’re one to talk. No awesome life in front of you? What’s that bull?”

She shrugged. “I shouldn’t have said that. My life is good.”

“What would make it better?”

“I
dunno. Adventure, maybe?” She straightened to a stand and set her beer on the railing. “Maybe I need to be a little selfish. I haven’t used up anywhere near my allotment.”

Physical pain sliced through his chest at the image of Karen getting her wild on while he embraced responsibility. If only they’d met at another time, in another place. He’d have shot for the moon and the stars with her, and made the trip just as interesting as the destination. But that wasn’t an opt
ion here and now, as he started over. He was grounded in this place where she was stifled, a place he’d spent almost two years wiggling his way towards. They were two ships passing in the night. That slap of reality hurt more than he could have imagined.

A week had gone by and she’d seen Paul almost every day. They hadn’t talked, touched or otherwise interacted, but his presence surrounded her. Even if the detachment building wasn’t one block from the store, and their paths likely to cross as they just went about their daily business, he was right next door each evening.

That made for long nights.
Their conversation played over again and again in her head. The physical memory of his body next to hers, just standing chastely on his deck, fueled more than a few fantasies. Where instead of gruffly bidding her a good evening and escaping inside to watch TV with his daughter, Paul had closed the gap between them and proposed an entirely different and deliciously inappropriate adventure for them to embark on together.

Karen had never been titillated by dirty words until Hot
Neighbour, the fantasy version of Paul that only existed in her head, had urged her to spread her legs and show him how wet she was for him. There was nothing imaginary about the answer, and if she hadn’t been alone in her bedroom, she might have been embarrassed at how her body reacted to someone who was so obviously off limits to her.

But there was a line between
harmless fantasy and unrequited desire, and she wasn’t going to end up on the pathetic side of the division. By Thursday, she’d had enough of wanting what she couldn’t have. Ironically, it was Paul’s own words that spurred her to action. She definitely couldn’t have him, but she could have an adventure of another sort. After a few nights of internet research, she knew what she needed to do, and who she needed to talk to.

Leaving Wardham would have given her pause a month ago, but it was time to find her own brand of selfish. She’d have liked to find it with the guy next door, but he’d done all but announce he was off-limits and not interested. So the new plan meant she needed to stop wanting to get naked with Paul.

The plan would be easier to implement if he didn’t live next door. If Wardham wasn’t so small. If, if, if.

The Sunday night book club crew hadn’t helped with the distraction, either. The discussion had wandered off topic more than once in the direction of the new cop, and Ernie Fletcher took one of those opportunities to share with the group that Karen had let her
neighbour and his daughter do after hours shopping. The group was divided on whether or not that was appropriate, which normally would have flowed around and past Karen as normal Wardham meddling, but last night she’d snapped and before she realized what she was sharing, she promised Ernie and the other busy bodies that pretty soon, she wouldn’t have keys to the grocery store anyway.

So it was with extreme reluctance that she headed to Main Street on Monday morning. She had an appointment she wanted to keep, and she wanted coffee and a muffin first. 
She’d hedged her bets and waited until 8:15 before stepping into the bakery/coffee shop. Ten minutes after school drop off, fifteen minutes before the medical building and most businesses opened. A guaranteed line, and no privacy for Carrie to take advantage of to start a heavy conversation. Perfect.

Karen
wasn't in the mood to talk. She was unsettled. Had been for a few weeks. Since meeting Paul, in fact, but it wasn't him. It was the library, and her parents, and last night's brouhaha. But she wasn’t so confident in her still tenuous plan that she could justify it to her best friend—because she couldn’t trust Carrie to be supportive. 

Surely it should be her choice if she didn't want to manage the grocery store. And as the daughter of the owners, she could ma
ke a suggestion as to how to proceed with dealing with the loss of their manager. They could hire someone else, sure, but why not consider selling to a national chain? Her parents didn't need income any more. And the proceeds from the sale would help pad their nest egg a bit anyway.

Everyone just needed to mind their own business.

Because she could sense the meddling approaching. She didn't know what form it would take, but it was close. Carrie was the obvious person to address the common concern about the store’s fate. And she would, because their friendship could handle it, and she wouldn't want Karen to be blindsided by anyone else.

So Karen knew it was coming. But she also wanted a coffee and a muffin.
Tough choice.

This weighed heavy on her mind as she stood in line.
She wasn’t counting on the next person to step into the shop behind her to be wearing a uniform.

Oh god
. In running gear, he was hot. In jeans and a hoodie, he was cute.

His
pressed, dark blue uniform, complete with a Kevlar vest with POLICE printed on it, turned his lean length into something approaching a superhero’s physique. Tall, broad across the shoulders, narrow at the hips. The newfound troublemaker in her wanted to know where on his black utility belt his handcuffs were, but there was only so much staring at his waist that she could do without being weird. Besides, she needed to keep looking at the rest of him. Up and down, and all around. There was a lot to take in.             

In his uniform, Paul was out of this
world. Hot and cute didn’t begin to describe the pure masculinity that rolled off him. His expression was carefully neutral, but he’d blinked twice when he saw her and that was enough.

She affected him.

It should have felt like vindication, but it didn’t. Instead, the realization left her sad. Hollow. Because it didn’t matter.

She pasted on a polite smile and murmured a generic greeting.

He nodded, but didn't say anything. The line shuffled forward and she turned her back to him, pretending to examine the display of baked goods. Another reason to be grateful. If Carrie wasn't swamped at the counter, she'd have called foul on that action alone. Karen knew the complete line up of Bun's offerings inside and out. There was no need to peer at the muffins like she didn't know that the top row was Morning Glory, Raisin Bran and Oatmeal Banana, or the "breakfast offerings" as Carrie branded them.

His voice, when he used it, was low and right behind her. "What's good?"

She twisted enough to not be rude, but not so far that they'd share eye contact. Eye contact was not in the plan.

"Everything," she whispered. "But you should get the raisin bran."

"Why?"

"Low fat."

"You think I need to watch what I eat?" She could hear the smile in his voice and immediately regretted the plan. She really wanted to turn around. See that she amused him. Raise an eyebrow and point out without saying a word that she
knew
him. Let him wipe away her annoyance with a smirk and a wink.

She settled for reminding him that she had his number. "I think
you
think you do."

The bell chimed, and two more people joined the curving line. She shifted forward, but he moved more, and then he was in her personal space. And she could smell him.

Sport body wash and something else. Laundry soap, maybe. She took a deep breath in, trying to be surreptitious.

"Maybe I need to step outside my comfort zone."

She swallowed hard. Yeah, maybe he did, but he wouldn't. With muffins, or her, or anything else. She should have seen that coming. From his car to making his daughter put oatmeal in her chocolate chip cookies, Paul was clearly comfortable with the safe choices in life. Maybe that was from his job, or maybe something else in his past, but right now, his comfort zone was exactly where he needed to be. "Risk is overrated. Have the raisin bran muffin. It's good."

She was the next person in line, and she could see that Carrie already had her latte in a takeaway cup. She dug exact change out of her pocket and stepped to the counter. "I'll take a Morning Glory muffin," she said to the cashier. "And can you toss a knife and a pat of butter in the bag?"

Without looking over her shoulder, she grabbed her breakfast and headed for the door. She was almost home free when she heard Paul say, "I'll have the same thing. Two pats of butter, please."

Her stomach pitched in an unexpected but not unpleasant way, and she mulled over how much she could read into a muffin purchase all the way to the library. It wasn't until
Mildred waved her into the back office that Karen realized that strange interaction with Paul had completely distracted her from her concerns about the store and what people might be thinking.

The librarian followed her into the room and closed the door.

Karen dug into her muffin, buying herself a few moments to rearrange her thoughts.

"Thanks for meeting me here." She swallowed a last bite and brushed a napkin across her lips. "I appreciate the privacy."

"I heard that you want to quit at the store."

"That was quick."

"It's Wardham." Mildred shrugged. "And if it wasn't your parents' store, this would have happened a long time ago."

Karen sighed. "I'd like to think that, but honestly, I'm not sure. It still feels scary to say that I want to move on to something else without knowing what that might be."

"I think I have an idea."

"Okay, so I have some idea." Karen laughed. "I guess it's asking too much for me to blink and wake up with the degree? Why can't I just be a librarian without going back to school?"

The older woman shot her a rueful smile. "Times have changed. I feel your pain, sweetie. I wouldn't have this job if I'd have had to get a Masters' degree first."

"What if I fail again?"

"Can I be blunt?"

"Have you ever not been?"

"You didn't fail the first time." Mildred lifted her hand to halt the protest. "You didn't. You quit. That's not the same thing as not being able to complete the program with the right motivation."

"I was motivated. I wanted to be a librarian."

"You wanted to get people to read books." Mildred didn't need to finish that thought. They both knew that being a librarian was about more than that, and Karen hadn't loved the rest of it. They both knew that the day she'd decided to stay in Wardham and not head back to school after the Christmas break was a happy day. For her. For her parents, who’d been quick to suggest they could head down to Florida to watch Chase play hockey.

Ten years later, and she was finally ready to move on to something else.

"So what can I do? What options are there for a read-a-holic who hates school?"

"Honestly, I don't know, but I'll look into it and let you know. In larger
centres, there's more diversity in the jobs posted. And I'd be happy to be a reference for you."

Moving
for a job. She hadn't considered that variation on the plan. Of course she'd have to move. She knew all of the jobs in Wardham. Knew she wasn't qualified for half of them, and wasn't interested in the other half. But she’d been thinking about leaving for a year, going back to school. Her heart sank, but her head stayed in the game.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. Any information you can share...I told my mom that I wanted to be done mid-summer. I want to take a road trip out west before starting...whatever I do next. But for the right job, I could be available any time."

Mildred nodded and stood up. "You heading to the store now? Or do you want to hang out here for a bit?"

A wave of relief washed over Karen. She pulled out her e-reader and grinned. "I'm going to hide here, if you don't mind." She'd have to go to the store later, but it could wait until the next rush at Bun. She didn't need to give Carrie an obvious opening. Her friend would find her soon enough.

Downtown Wardham had been a pleasant surprise for Paul. The main drag was only a few blocks long, but it had one of almost every essential service.
Karen’s grocery store, Bun, a dry cleaner’s, pharmacy, even a couple of clothing stores and a used bookshop.

And then there was his destination for the evening, Danny’s. Paul had heard good things about the
pub. Cold beer, cheap wings, and like everything else in Wardham, it was only a few blocks from home. Stumbling distance, not that he was going to get blitzed. But it’d been a long week at work, and a short weekend with Megan.