Which Lie Did I Tell? (45 page)

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER’S TABLE.

JIMMY

(shakes his head)

--OK, it’s a risk, but they’re ready.

CLIMBER puts two fingers in his mouth, a loud and very distinctive whistle--on the sound--

CUT TO

PHOEBE, turning with a pained “Now--you want me
now
?” look on her face.

Again the whistling sound. She stops, lets the couple go on past her alone, glances both ways, then dashes across the street to her family as we

CUT TO

A DOWNTOWN KOSHER DELI. A LARGE REAR TABLE--

--
stuffed
with food. Corned beef and pastrami and potato pancakes and salami and chopped liver and turkey and pickles and kraut and schmaltz and seltzer bottles and a couple of beers.

THE CLIMBER AND THE KIDS AND JIMMY sit hunched over, scarfing down. Throughout this, they never stop eating.

SHIRLEY

Want us to bring anything special?

CLIMBER

For?

PHOEBE

For our first case
, Daddy. Speaking for Shirley, may I say we
could not
be more excited.

CLIMBER

Where’d the “may I say” come from?

SHIRLEY

Trip likes it.

JIMMY

Trip?

(SHIRLEY mouths the word “asshole”--PHOEBE mouths the word “language.”)

The new guy, got it.

SHIRLEY

(to JIMMY)

When will you know what it’s going to be?

JIMMY

We were not at that coffeehouse by accident, Shirl.

(THE KIDS look at him)

Remember the crying woman with the sunglasses?

(THEY do)

Her husband hired us.

SHIRLEY

(excited)

Phoebes, we’re
already
detectives.

CUT TO

PHOEBE as she lifts her seltzer bottle into toasting position.

PHOEBE

To the Big A.

SHIRLEY raises his bottle, too. JIMMY AND THE CLIMBER just watch. They put the bottles down.

JIMMY

This ain’t the Big A. It’s just a case--big A’s don’t come along all that often. I only had a couple my whole life.

PHOEBE

But couldn’t it be?

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER. CLOSE UP. Watching his beloveds.

CLIMBER

Life’s
got to be on the line, Phoebes.
Love’s
gotta be there, too. You just know when you’re on the Big Adventure, that if you survive it, nothing’s ever going to be the same…

CUT TO

THE KIDS stop eating. Stare at their dad. Then--

SHIRLEY

How many have you had, Daddy?

CLIMBER

(beat)

Just the one…

(HOLD on the CLIMBER for a moment, then--)

CUT TO

CLIMBER’S PLACE. Night.

Pretty much the same. Still clean, still all the big TV sets.

The main change in decor is that the living room has been turned into two makeshift bedrooms. A sheet hangs from a sagging curtain as a room divider. PHOEBE’S half has dolls piled on the bed, that’s about it.

Bedtime. Both kids are in the sack, the blanket hasn’t been lowered. CLIMBER is finishing telling them a story.

CLIMBER

(with more emotion than you would expect)

“And as he stared at the bloody face of his murdered partner, Sam Spade knew he could not rest until the score was even.”

SHIRLEY

Have you ever had a partner murdered, Poppa?

CLIMBER

Only had my dad.

SHIRLEY

But if you did have one, and he was killed, you couldn’t rest till the score was even, could you?

CLIMBER

(tucking him in)

I’d track the bastard down.

PHOEBE

I don’t like saying “language,” you know.

CLIMBER

My apology.

He lowers the curtain between their beds. SHIRLEY is half asleep already. Now CLIMBER goes to PHOEBE, brings her a bunch of books to read, tilts her bed lamp away from her brother, tucks her in, too. They whisper “Night” and he leaves her.

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER in the little hallway now, watching her.

Troubled.

Then he goes to his little room, slaps in a tape of a Knicks game, hits the mute button and as Sprewell explodes down the court--

CUT TO

THE APARTMENT. Middle of the night. CLIMBER jerks awake, rubs his eyes, get out of bed.

CUT TO

THE OTHER BEDROOM. As before. SHIRLEY is dead to the world, PHOEBE reads. Now she looks up as her father comes in. He sits on the bed and they whisper.

CLIMBER

Phoebes, you’ve gotta sleep sometime.

(he puts the book down, turns out her light)

It’s the one thing we worry about most.

PHOEBE

Who?

CLIMBER

You know who.

PHOEBE

I wonder, how did you and Mommy meet?

(THE CLIMBER says nothing)

I’ve always wondered why you never told me.

(he sighs)

Did someone think you’d like each other and you had bologna sandwiches?

CLIMBER

(here we go)

It was on a case.

PHOEBE

Did you solve it?

CLIMBER

It worked out.

PHOEBE

You probably don’t remember the very very first time you ever saw her.

CLIMBER hesitates. He doesn’t like going back to these great days. But here’s his problem, Doctor: it’s the only way she’ll go to sleep.

CLIMBER

Actually, I do.

FLASHCUT

The moment when he takes the blindfold off ECHO and he sees her perfect face.

BACK TO THE ROOM

PHOEBE

I wonder was she in a ball gown or something that first time?

CLIMBER

Exactly right--a beautiful ball gown. Huge billowing skirt. I was in my tux--

PHOEBE

(staring at him)

You dove through that window in a tuxedo and a ball gown?--I don’t think so.

FLASHCUT

THE JUMP OUT THE WINDOW--only this is in PHOEBE’S mind--CLIMBER, looking magnificent, and ECHO, the same--all but dancing in slow motion toward the window as TWENTY BAD GUYS with machine guns and bazookas blast away in vain.

BACK TO THE ROOM.

CLIMBER

You want the whole deal, don’t you?

(she does)

Close your eyes.

(she does)

Deep breath.

(that too--just a glimmer of sleep now)

PHOEBE

(softer)

Start with climbing up the building.

CLIMBER

Okay.

PHOEBE

(softer)

That was very brave of you, Daddy.

CLIMBER

Or very stupid.

PHOEBE

(almost gone now)

This was the Big A, wasn’t it?

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER, studying her
Edward G. Robinson face.

She’s drifting.

He nods.

HOLD.

CUT TO

A LONG ISLAND COUNTRY LANE. The next afternoon. CLIMBER’S car, motor running, is at the side of the road. He holds his children tightly. They hold him back.

CLIMBER

Okay, Loves.

(they hold him just a second longer, then flop over into the backseat)

Put your rich faces on.

CUT TO

SHIRLEY AND PHOEBE as they change before our eyes, become the spoiled perfect kids we first saw in the mansion.

CLIMBER (CONT’D)

Gimme the damn Bartok.

(as SHIRLEY slips a CD from its case--)

CUT TO

ECHO, standing on the front steps as CLIMBER’S car drives up, stops, waving. The kids, inside the car, wave happily back. Standing alongside ECHO is her fiancé, a very handsome, tanned man of forty--HAMILTON
KEMPNER THE THIRD, universally known as TRIP. A well-educated rich man’s son, if he seems familiar to us at all it might be because, in the photographs we saw during the credit sequence, this is the guy THE CLIMBER punched out.

CUT TO

THE CAR and the instant it stops, the kids are out of there, hurrying to ECHO. They talk quickly, whispered tones.

SHIRLEY

(he holds the wicker basket, which is empty now)

Oh, Mommy, it seems like forever, do thank cook for the wondrous food.

PHOEBE

Mommy, I just know I’m going to be sick next Friday.

ECHO

How was the Bartok?

SHIRLEY

No other word but “thrilling.”

PHOEBE

And we made “him” play it all the way home.

ECHO

Your father hated it, then?

SHIRLEY

Sheer agony.

ECHO

(cannot hide her pleasure)

Well, now you’re learning what I had to put up with.

SHIRLEY

Can we go inside?

ECHO

Don’t you want to say hello to Trip?

CUT TO

TRIP as they run to him, PHOEBE curtsies perfectly, SHIRLEY looks him in the eye, gives him a firm handshake.

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER, watching silently now as they race toward the front door.

CUT TO

ECHO. Calling out to them.

ECHO

Where are our manners?

CUT TO

THE KIDS. They give their mother a pained look, turn toward CLIMBER, speak in unison.

THE KIDS (TOGETHER)

(like pulling teeth)

Thanks, Dad, see you next week, Dad, bye Dad.

(and they are gone)

CUT TO

TRIP, as he goes to CLIMBER. They don’t even bother to hide the fact that they despise each other.

Long pause, then--

TRIP

I wonder what your secret is.

(beat)

To make them so unhappy…

(and as he smiles)

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER. Not smiling back…

HOLD ON THE TWO OF THEM. Then--

CUT TO

SHIRLEY’S ROOM, the following Saturday afternoon. PHOEBE is with him and they are both dressed so perfectly you want to throw up.

ECHO (OVER)

Children--your father’s here.

PHOEBE

(the most amazing whining you ever heard)

But my pneumonia’s just so bad, Mommy--

(a dry cough)

--hear that?--

SHIRLEY

(even more so)

--it’s not fair, it’s just not fair--

As they go on in, one thing is very much clear--

--
their eyes are dancing
…

CUT TO

OUT FRONT. CLIMBER, smiles nervously as the kids come reluctantly into view. He opens the front door for them.

CLIMBER

Plenty of room up here.

They ignore him, get in the back.

ECHO

(handing over an envelope)

The Joyce Theater, three p.m.

CLIMBER

(hopefully)

Nothing to do with sports, I suppose.

ECHO

It’s their annual Kabuki Marathon.

(his knees start to buckle)

The children are very excited, do not spoil it for them.

(a CD)

Kabuki music for the drive.

CLIMBER

(taking it)

All my prayers are being answered.

ECHO

And in keeping with our educational theme for the weekend, miso soup, bean sprouts salad, squid and octopus sushi, their favorite sashimi, sea urchin, giant clam, and salmon roe.

(hands the basket to him)

Be careful with that.

CLIMBER

Before it attacks me, you mean?

ECHO

(ignoring him)

I meant, refrigerate it at once.

(he nods, takes it, starts around the car as we)

CUT TO

PHOEBE, bursting out of the car, running back to her mother, clinging to ECHO. ECHO escorts her back, puts her in the car. CLIMBER starts to drive as we

CUT TO

INSIDE THE CAR as THE KIDS kneel in the backseat, waving to their disappearing mother.

CUT TO

THE THREE OF THEM IN THE FRONT SEAT NOW, on the side road where they stop. They are finishing their embrace.

PHOEBE

(to the CLIMBER)

Did you like that last bit? Where I rush out and cling to Mommy?

CLIMBER

Over the top, Phoebes.

SHIRLEY

(agreeing)

I told her.

CLIMBER

Where did “bit” come from? Is that another of good old Trip’s favorites?

CUT TO

PHOEBE. She doesn’t answer. An odd look now on her face. She is watching another car that has just driven by. CLIMBER does the same.

PHOEBE

Were they here last week?

CUT TO

THE CAR. Old. Absolutely nondescript--except for the fact that the windows are tinted. Hard to tell who’s inside.

CUT TO

THE CLIMBER. Shrugs, shakes his head, starts to drive--he breaks into horrible Kabuki sounds as we--

CUT TO

THE JOYCE THEATER.

Before the matinee. People mill around out front--a whole lot of them Japanese.

CLIMBER pulls up to the curb--

--standing apart from the others is the family who took his tickets last time--THE GUY sees CLIMBER, starts to him.

CUT TO

INSIDE THE CAR. CLIMBER has the tickets in his hand, is about to hand them over when we suddenly--

CUT TO

PHOEBE, as quick tears cover her face.

PHOEBE