Wicked Ugly Bad (A Kinda Fairytale) (25 page)

What
Baddie
wouldn’
t be impressed?

“I’m
sure I’ll do underhanded things, ma’am, but they’ll be to
keep
Letty,
not to hurt her.”  He gave a pause and, even without the coyote yowl, it was
pretty damn effective.  “Because, I don’t part with what’s mine, I don’t give a
shit who starts threatening me
.
”

Oh,
Jana liked that answer.

In
fact, given how friendly she was being and the lack of weapons being pulled, it
was clear she liked
Marrok
.  Letty wasn’t surprised.  It was pretty much
a given that they’d get along like curds and whey.  Her grandmother was a huge Wolfball
booster.  She was already part of Marrok’s official fan club.

Literally.

Scarlett
sat down on the chintz sofa and prepared to wait out the inevitable flirting
and death threats.

“Aren’t
you a charmer?”  Jana giggled in delight and playfully batted his arm.  “I knew
you would be. 
Finally,
Scarlett brings me a real man to intimidate.  You
wouldn’t believe the gutless wonders my granddaughters have dragged home in the
past.  And don’t even get me started on that rat-fucker Charming.”

“Cinderella
sleeps with those rats, Grandma, not Charming.  I’ve
told
you that.”

The
two of them ignored Scarlett’s testy correction, basking in their mutual
admiration.

“Well,
I’ve never met Charming,” Marrok told Jana, “but I completely agree that he’s a
waste of healthy organs.  I expect I’ll have to remove most of them very soon.”

Jana
nodded wisely.  “I’ve had the same thought.  Don’t bother looking for the
brain, though.  I don’t think it’s there.”

“Nobody.
touches. Charming.”  Scarlett carefully spaced each word.

They
disregarded that, too.

“Would
you like some cookies, dear?”  Jana herded Marrok over to sit by the fire.  “I
just baked some shortbread.”  Her voice sing-songed over the words temptingly.

“Shortbread
is my favorite, ma’am.”  Marrok probably would’ve said the same thing if she’d
offered him cyanide.  He couldn’t have looked more pleased by Jana’s obvious
approval.

Scarlett
had to wonder if any “meet the family” conversation had ever gone so well for
him before.  Probably not.  The Big Bad Wolf wasn’t the average senior
citizen’s idea of a dream date for her favorite granddaughter.  Luckily, Jana Wocknee
didn’t do “average.”

Possibly
for the first time in his life, Marrok wasn’t the biggest maniac in the room.

“What
do you know about the mob presence in Wonderland, boy?”  Jana went skipping
into the kitchen to gather up some cookies for her new best friend.  “I’m
thinking of expanding my loansharking into new territories and we’ll need to
start by taking out the competition over there.”

“My
understanding is that it’s mainly that pussy of a walrus and his little oyster
brigade running things in Wonderland.  I think we could take them in about a
week, if we needed to.  Especially if we had a nice garlic butter sauce.”

“I
do have a taste for seafood.”  She chuckled.  “You know Letty wanted to make
some kind of
deal
with him.  Why the holy hell would I split my profits
with someone I could just kill?  The girl gets weird ideas sometimes.”

“Letty
doesn’t like killing people.”  Marrok said as if she wasn’t even in the room. 
“But, she’s definitely a hard ass when it comes to braining people with
chairs.  I can attest to that.  I’d still be in a magic inhibiting manacle,
journaling about my feelings, if it wasn’t for her violent streak.”

He
was defending her villainy?  Scarlett glanced Marrok’s way in surprise.

“And
I
know
that she does a better job of being Bad than I could ever do of
being Good.”  He continued.  “No one would ever guess she’s not one of us. 
She’s got a devious mind and a real talent for creating chaos.”

Jana
preened.  “She gets that from me.”

“She
also got those big blue eyes from you.”  Marrok leaned back in his chair,
basking in all the grandparental support shining in his direction.  “First
thing I noticed about her.”

“First
thing my husband noticed about me was the knife I had pressed to his throat.”  Jana
reminisced.  “Yeah, I went to Camelot to steal his big sword him, but I stayed for
his
big sword
.  The man fucked like a wicked machine of wickedness.”

Great,
this
story, again.

Marrok
looked over at Letty.  “I love your grandma.”  He decided.

“I
had a feeling you would.”  Scarlett headed for the door.  “I’m going to go tell
the others that it’s safe to come in.  Try not to propose to her while I’m
gone.”

“Believe
me, I’m trying.”

Scarlett
rolled her eyes and stalked out before they started asking each other for their
autographs.

***

“You
really should get Letty into bed soon.”  Jana advised.  She headed back over to
Marrok, a stack of shortbread on a blue and white plate.  “The girl would be a
lot less moody if she got laid.”

“I’m
working on it.”  Marrok took a cookie and bit it in half.  He’d known Scarlett’s
grandmother for ten minutes and she was already his second favorite person in
the world.  She was super-famously evil, and being nice to him, and she made a
hell of a shortbread.  He instantly felt comfortable with the woman.  He and
Jana spoke the same language.  “Letty’s skittish of me getting close.”

At
least, when she was awake.

In
her sleep, she’d cuddled closer to him like it was the most natural thing in
the world.  Marrok had spent half the night just watching her breathe.  On her
deepest level, Letty knew they were supposed to be together.  She just needed a
little more time to get used to the idea when she was conscious.

“Well,
you’re probably the first man Scarlett’s met with a testosterone reading, so
it’s throwing her off balance.”  Jana sat down across from him.  “Was she
saying that she already let you kiss her, though?”

“Yes,
ma’am.”

“That’s
interesting.”  Blue eyes narrowed in consideration.  “Doesn’t seem like
Scarlett would screw around on Charming.  She’s got all those
ethics.
” 
Jana said the word like it meant “lice.”  “Even though the worthless prick is
picking out wedding china with another girl, I’d have thought she have some
delusional sense of loyalty to him.”

“Letty
is
my
True Love.  Charming can go blow himself.”

“I’m
not disagreeing with you, boy, but something’s wonky with how it’s going down. 
I know my granddaughter.  If she’s all set to marry Charming in Cinderbitch’s
place, why is she staring at you like you’re an ice cream cone that she wants
to lick up and down?”

“I’m
a tasting looking guy.”

Even
as he said it, though, Marrok’s brain was turning over the Jabberwocky’s
words.  Scarlett was loyal straight down to the bone, even towards people who
didn’t deserve it.  When the sleeping gas was flooding the WUB Club, she’d
wanted to keep looking for
Rumpelstiltskin
, for Christ’s sake.  Would
someone that Good really ever plan to marry one man and let another one stroke
her orgasm?

Marrok’s
eyes narrowed.

Come
to think of it, Scarlett had come up with a whole lot of excuses to keep Marrok
at arm’s length.  But, she’d never
once
invoked the holy name of
Charming as a reason to deny the True Love bond.  In fact, she rarely spoke of
him, at all.  Usually, she just looked uncomfortable when someone brought the
piss-ant up.

That
was
wonky.

“She
grew up with Charming, right?”

“Yep. 
It wasn’t until this shoe debacle that she showed any interest in marrying that
douchebag, though.”  Jana chewed a cookie.  “Until then, the two of them just
whined about villains’ rights and hugged baby seals or whatever do-Gooders do
all day.  I’m still not clear on what all happened at that stupid ball.  Did
she tell you?”

He
shook his head.  “All I know for sure is Cinderella somehow highjacked that
shoe and stole Scarlett’s place as Charming’s bride.  Letty’s not going to just
let that go.  When she sets her mind to something,
nothing
gets in her
way.”

Jana
sighed.  “I should’ve just tossed that glass slipper down a wishing well.  Who
will take over the family business if Letty’s wasting her life as some
pointless princess?  Granted, she’s always been a little too softhearted for
this line of work, but she’s got the mind for it.”

“Scarlett’s
brilliant.”  Marrok agreed.  “If she takes over, she’ll figure out a way to
make the business her own.”

Jana
snorted.  “You mean she’ll shut down all my most profitable sectors and start building
preschools for goblins and trolls.”

“That
does sound like my Letty.”

“Well,
no matter what she does, that girl is the best part of my life.  My whole hope
for the future.”  She paused meaningfully.  “I got no quarrel with you, boy,
but no horses or men will be able to reassemble all your broken pieces if you
fuck her over.  I’m serious about that.”

Marrok
didn’t take offence.  Why wouldn’t Scarlett’s family be protective of her?  She
was precious and he was a notorious scumbag.  Of
course
there would be
some grisly warnings.  Honestly, he saw Jana’s intimidation tactics as a compliment. 
It showed she took him seriously as a suitor.

“All
I want is Letty.  She’s my life and future, too.  I’ve waited for her too long
to ever take her for granted.  You have my word.”

Jana
leaned forward to stare him straight in the eye.  “I’ve got a lot of respect
for the fanatical obsession wolves have for their True Loves.  You’re going to
do whatever it takes to keep her happy, right?”

“Yes.”

“Even
if it means living in the Enchanted Forest?”

“I’ll
stay here and help her teach trolls to read, or I’ll go to the Westlands and
overthrow Cinderella, or I’ll just live on the lamb for the rest of ever
after.  It doesn’t matter, just so I’m with her.”  He didn’t look away from
Jana’s appraising gaze.  “I am staying with Letty.”  It was a bald statement of
fact.

“So
you’re going to get rid of Charming, then?”  Jana didn’t sound terribly upset
with the idea.  “Good plan.  I’ve got a lot of acreage where we can bury the
body.”

He
sighed.  “Honestly, I don’t know
what
I’ll do if she wants Charming at
the end of all this.”  Marrok didn’t even want to think about it.

“You
don’t
know?
”  Jana repeated blankly.  “Like, you don’t know what weapon
you’ll use on him or…?”

Marrok
cut her off.  “Letty held my hand and said she trusted me.  Do you know how
rare that is for people like us?”

“Of
course I do.  But…”

“No
one has
ever
told me they trusted me before.  If I kill Charming,
Scarlett will never say that to me, again.”

“But,
at least you’d have her.”

Scarlett’s
Goodness must have been rubbing off on him, because Marrok wasn’t convinced that
just having her would be enough.  What if he ruined her tiara-filled future and
Letty was heartbroken?  What if she couldn’t forgive him?

What
if she never loved him back?

“I
have to get her to choose me over Charming.”  He scraped a palm through his
hair.  “It has to be her choice.  It’s the only way I can have
all
of
her.”

But,
what the hell did he have to offer Letty when she could literally have a
prince?

“Well,
if you want to do it the hard way, you should
definitely
start with getting
her into bed.”  Jana arched a brow.  “Charming might have a castle, but if a
woman showed up on his mattress, he’d probably think she was a pea.  Freaky
little ‘waiting for the wedding night’ tight wearer.”

“Wait. 
Who told you he was waiting for his wedding night?”  Not all Good folk did. 
Marrok knew that for a grim fact.

“Scarlett
did, of course.  Well, she implied it.  She wrote me about it from that damn
hospital, saying that Charming’s just soooooo virtuous and how I should stop
spreading rumors about him doing Cindy and the rats every night.”  She
snorted.  “He probably just couldn’t get it up.”

Marrok
mulled that over.  Why had Scarlett lied to her grandmother?  Especially since
the truth would have won Letty the argument.  Charming hadn’t waited for his
wedding night.  Scarlett and the prince had had sex in a garden during that
costume ball.  She’d said so.

…Actually,
no.

His
head tilted.  
Ramona
had said that in the dungeon.  Scarlett herself had
refused to talk about it.  She hadn’t really confirmed or denied a damn thing. 
Because, she was embarrassed or private or…?

…Or
maybe she hiding something.

Marrok
snapped off another piece of cookie and considered his options.  “So… where is
that glass slipper, now?