Wide Awake (31 page)

He sighed, too. "My car breaks down half the time I take it from the curb."

"It's a small town. Biking is good for me anyway."

"Ahh!" he yelled in frustration and laughed sadly. "I'm trying to do the right thing here. I want you to have everything you ever wanted."

"I want you. And then I want to talk about what I might want later. Whatever happens, I'm not worried." I put my head on his shoulder and he seemed to relax a little. We sat there just like that for a while in silence.

"What are you thinking about, Em?"

"I just wonder what the old Emma would do."

"It doesn't matter. The old Emma isn't gone." He shook his head. "I thought I wanted her to come back, for your sake, for your family's sake, but I'm…selfish and glad that she didn't." He took a deep breath through his nose. "Because it's not the old Emma I'm in love with, it's you."

I turned and looked up at him. He waited and smiled a little.

"Ask me what plans I had for my life," I said and felt the first of what I knew were many happy tears slide down my cheek. "Ask me what I wanted to be and how I was going to get there. Ask me how many kids I was going to have and what color the shutters on my red-brick house would have been." I touched his arm. It was really warm. "I'm sure I knew all of those things. But none of that matters now. Ask me what I want now and all I can picture is you-"

He moved in swift. His hand moved to the back of my neck and he pulled me to his lips that were warm and moist.

I sank.

I drowned.

I gave in.

And I was wide awake.

The End

Epilogue

To say the last week of school was the definition of hell was the understatement of the century. The old me didn't matter anymore, none of the facts about my accident mattered. I was the brunt of all of their misplaced anger. For some reason, Andy's passing with only a few weeks left of school, on Prom night no less, was too tragic for them to ignore. It was on the news, there were memorial posters and signs everywhere, Andy's locker was covered with letters and trinkets that people left him. And that was fine. People should remember him, but instead of focusing on what they should have been, the fact that a teenager ran someone over, left them there to die, and then committed suicide, they focused on me.

Mason even tried to come to class with me, but I assured him no one was causing me bodily harm, they just hated my ever-loving guts. Words I could handle and did. Now, with only three days left of school, I was just ready to start a new life that had nothing to do with the kids in this town. They could leave and go to their fancy colleges, as long as I didn't have to see their judgmental faces anymore.

Rhett — yes, I still called him Rhett — wasn't happy with my decision to take a year off and figure out what I wanted to do. He thought a year off was a year wasted, but I was just in a coma a few months before. Was it really that much of a stretch that I take a little time for myself to figure things out? Mom was very supportive and we spent every Sunday night together for a girl's night. We watched movies and ate junk. My sister, Felicia, even came home this week to spend some time with the family before my graduation. There was still a big awkwardness there, but she was trying. And I was trying to be a part of the family...because I was.

I was Emma Walker, always have been, always will be.

Epilogue

-
Part Two-

Mason

I was waiting on the curb for her. She practically sprinted from the doors like the sexy, sweet girl that she was. I grinned and opened my arms as she bounced into them. I leaned down and kissed her easily before opening the passenger door for her. "I've got a surprise for you."

"What?"

I laughed and got in my side. "It's called a surprise for a reason, Em."

She punched my arm playfully and giggled when I reached under her thigh to tickle her. I could see that she was about to retaliate, so I surrendered.

The radio played a really great Killers song and I turned it up. She put her head on my shoulder, letting her fingers run across and trace one of the tattoos on my arm. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Emma was graduating even after everything she'd been through. And not just that, she was number twenty two in her class of two hundred after missing months of school.

She worked her ever-loving buns off. I was so proud of her it was ridiculous.

We went past my house and then her house. She gave me a curious look, but didn't say anything. Just smiled and enjoyed the ride. She trusted me and that was something that I felt like I hadn't had in a long time. Trust.

Milo was still Milo. He hated my guts and that wouldn't change. Emma and I had gone to get him one night this week and I vowed to never do it again, but I knew that was a lie. I'd do it as many times as it took. He was my brother and I loved him, even if he didn't reciprocate. And Emma was a trooper as always. She fawned over him when he threw up on the curb and then again when I had to stop to let him throw up some more. He didn't even push off her efforts like he did me, and she seemed so eager to help, so it was a good partnership, I guess.

And she was good with my mom, too. Every day after I picked her up from school, she went and read the same chapter to my mom in her book. Every. Day. Same. Chapter. Mom couldn't remember that she'd already read it a million times, and she couldn't remember Emma's name, always calling her Mariah.

I took Mom to the doctor and went through her daily life like we always did at her check-ups. When I told the doctor about Emma, about how Mom always calls her Mariah, he was very intrigued. I explained it all and he in turn explained what fascinated him about it.

He said, "It's not that she calls her by the wrong name, it's that she calls her by the same wrong name every time." I must've looked confused because he explained further. "She never met this Emma before the accident, correct?" I nodded. "Then she shouldn't be able to remember her at all. She remembers her every time she sees her."

I got it and it gave me hope, but he quickly shot me down. "Don't get too excited. It doesn't mean that anything is changing in her brain, it doesn't really mean anything. It's just fascinating how the mind works. When little miracles like that happen, we just take them as they come."

I agreed and when I told Emma later, she cried. I knew she would. She felt close to my mom in a way the rest of us never could be. The fact that my mom had some kind of weird connection with her was amazing. It made me fall in love with her a little bit more every time I saw them laugh together, or when Emma pretended that she hadn't seen that daggum episode of
The Price is Right
a hundred times already, or when Mom freaked when she saw me and didn't remember me being this old, Emma would bring her some hot tea and the photo albums.

God, thank you for her. I loved her more than any man had a right to.

So now, as I drove her to my surprise and held her small hand in mine, I didn't have any doubt that I'd marry her one day, and she'd go to college to be whatever she wanted to be, and she'd have a little girl that looked just like her and had my eyes. I wasn't going to ask her to marry me today, no, but I
was
going to ask her one day. And she'd say yes because she loved me, too.

We drove for almost two hours, talking about everything but where we were going. She had school tomorrow and we were going to be late getting home so, even though she was nineteen years old, an adult, and didn't really need their permission, I asked her parents' permission anyway out of respect. They were warming up to me more and more every day, especially after what happened. I thought they'd hate me after that, but...the opposite seemed to be true.

When we pulled into the apple orchard, she looked confused, but amused. "Apples, huh?"

We pulled further into the field and she saw all the cars first, and then the booths and rides. Then the huge sign tied across the poles that said, "
Dragonfly Festival"
. She gasped and looked at me. Her eyes were wide and awe-filled. "How did you..."

"I have my ways." I grinned as I pulled into a parking spot and came to her door. She looked up at me like I was more than I was. More than a poor boy that had nothing to offer, more than a tattooed guy who always had to prove he was
something
from judging eyes, more than I deserved.

I took her face in my hands and then took her mouth. That mouth that owned me, that mouth that made me forgot who and what I was and made me feel like I was better than all that. Her whimper as she went to her tiptoes and the way she gripped at the hair on the back of my neck had my pulse rioting in my ears.

As I pulled away, she held on tighter and slipped her tongue past my lips. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I turned us to press her to the side of the car. She laughed happily into my mouth and that was it for me. I took another long pull from those lips and then leaned back. "OK, we've gotta stop."

She laughed at me and fell back on her feet from her tiptoes. "Is this my surprise?" Her voice was light and happy.

"Maybe," I said coyly and grinned at her as I locked her door and shut it. "I have a lot of surprises for you tonight."

"I need to call Isabella."

"I handled it. It's all good."

"Really?" I nodded. She bit into her lip and took my hand with both of hers. "Thanks."

"Welcome, baby."

We played every game there, we rode all the rides, I watched as she got sparkly dragonfly temporary tattoos on her hand and arm, and she ate enough cotton candy to hyperactivate six small children. We ate corn dogs and greasy fries for supper.

Then the lights went down and a live band started to play cover songs. They shut off all the street and spot lights, and all that was left was the twinkling string lights strung above the field. I couldn't have imagined anything better. When she sighed at it, I almost laughed. I pulled her to me, holding her hand on my chest, and led her as the band played.

I leaned down and put my mouth to her ear. "Do you know what we're doing right now?"

She laughed. "Yeah, Yoda. Dancing."
I nodded, my nose rubbing her cheek. "Yeah, dancing. In a field. You can cross off number five now."

I heard her breath catch a little. "Oh..." She pulled back just enough to see me. "Was this part of my surprise?"

I nodded. "We're going to put a hundred things on that list, and somehow, someway, I'm going to help you cross them all off."

She smiled, her eyes welling. "Thank you. This is better than anything you could buy me. You know that, right?"

"Hey," I chuckled. "It was just too good to pass up. Dancing in a field and dragonflies. Two birds, one stone."

She laughed and pulled me down to kiss her. My hands moved to her hips, and we swayed, moved, pulled and frustrated ourselves for hours out there as the band played in the dark.

When we finally walked back to the car, I was physically restraining myself. The ride home was going to be torture. It was after midnight and we had a long ride home.

"Are you going to be OK to drive?" she asked as I opened the creaky door for her.

"Course. Besides," I growled and nipped at her bottom lip, "I want you so bad right now that I won't sleep for a week."

"Hey, it's your fault," she said and laughed. She reached into my back pockets, knowing exactly what she was doing. She kissed my neck. "You're the one with hands that-"

"Uh huh," I groaned. "You've got to stop."

She laughed. I felt my scowl in place, but that just made her laugh more. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you. Thank you for this."

"You know the first time I really, seriously fell in love with you?"

She shook her head. I pulled the note she wrote me all those weeks ago, the note I've kept in my pocket ever since. Her...tribute to the Useless Facts book I'd gotten her. Her smiled turned a little shy and she laughed under her breath. "You're still carrying that thing?"
"I told you, it was the first time I knew that you were going to be mine. I carry it with my every day because I love you."

She opened it and laughed before reading it out loud, "Turtles can breathe through their butts." We both laughed as she continued. "I just wanted you to see what you were giving a young, impressionable mind to read. I can't stop reading it. It's addictive. Thank you so much. P.S. I miss you when you're not here - Emma." She folded it back up and put it back in my pocket. "That's still true," she muttered softly.

"I'm glad." I let my hand move to her back pocket, her backside under my palm, and my fingers of the other snuck inside the back of her jeans. She loved to touch my ink even when she couldn't see them. I could see the appeal now and I couldn't wait to see her tattoo again. "All in all, I just want you to be happy again, whatever that looks like, Em."

She smiled a sexy smile and kissed my lips. "You don't have to try so hard, Mason," she said against my lips. "We're there."

Thank you

_______________________

The irony from the fact that I developed a tumor in my head while writing a book about a girl who was in a coma from a head injury has not escaped me. Between all the spinal shots from when I broke my neck and now all the tests and doctors visits from this, writing this book was challenging. I was late on my deadline and release date, which is something through twelve other book releases I've never had to deal with before. But with the weight off of my shoulders, I finished the book at my own slow pace and I kinda missed writing that way. No deadline.