Wild Heart (19 page)

At that moment he knew his purpose, he knew that all of the roads, the paths he’d taken in his life had led him to her. His future was Ani and he wouldn’t let her go. He couldn’t. Because without her his world didn’t exist. Without her he didn’t have a purpose in life. He ran toward his bike, cranking it and speeding off down the driveway, ignoring the shouts of Repo’s deep voice that trailed off behind him with each turn of the throttle. Nothing would be able to stop him from his future, he could only hope that time would be on his side and that he wouldn’t be too late.
 

CHAPTER TWELVE

O GI NA LI

She pulled up the dark drive, stopping as she reached the gate. She had stopped thinking with her head and started thinking with her heart. It was her head that had gotten her in trouble so many times before. She had to stop calculating every move and start doing what felt right and from the moment he’d left all she could think about was being in his arms once more. She waited as the calm set over her body before punching in the code and driving on up the steep driveway. She could see the lights of the house sparkling in the night sky as she parked. This was what felt right, what felt familiar.

She crossed the front lawn and walked toward the door, knocking lightly. The anticipation fluttered throughout her stomach as the handle turned and the door swung open. She smiled up at those eyes that she loved so much. She didn’t give him a chance to speak, only wrapped her arms up around his neck as their lips crashed into each other. The passion re-ignited stronger than it ever was before. His hands grasped the hair at the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him, devouring her as she melted into his touch. The touch she had missed so much.

She pushed him back through the door, kicking it shut with her foot as the fury of their devotion to each other buzzed in the air. Fireworks exploded around them as they became entangled into one body. He lifted her up as she hooked her legs around his waist, scrambling to remove every piece of clothing that hindered the touch of his skin. They bounced against the walls as they made their way into the open space, whistles and hoots resounding from every corner of the room as Knox carried her up the stairs and toward his room.

“Love me, Knox.” She ripped the buttons of his black shirt off, exposing the rippled muscles below.

“Aye, Baby,” he spoke between kisses as he threw her down onto the bed.

She pulled at the clothes covering her body as he undressed on top of her, trailing kisses down her neck. Every nerve, every fiber of her body was exploding from his touch. She felt his length at the apex of her thighs, teasing her gently as he rocked his hips back and forth against her sex. His touch softened as he spread her legs, pushing the tip of his cock into her. She longed to feel all of him, needed it to survive. How could she have ever doubted this man, doubted his feelings for her?

He grabbed her hips and pulled her onto him, filling her with every inch of his cock. She moaned out in pleasure as the need for his devotion coursed through her. He knelt between her legs, rocking back and forth into her. His erection drug along every nerve, a sweet slow torture toward her release. She pulled herself up, hooking her arms around his neck as he lifted her and turned to sit on the edge of the bed. She rode up and down on his length, crying out his name as she got closer to finding her climax. She could feel the pulsating throb from her core as he thrust into her. His hands traveled to her face, cupping it gently as his lips found hers. For the first time he made love to her, claiming his ownership over her body and soul over and over again.

They found their release together as she gently rocked back and forth on his cock. She devoured every delectable ounce of him as he came inside of her, slowing as she lay her head against his chest, sated and content.

“I can’t promise you the world, Aiyana, but I can promise you my devotion,” his words were breathless as he lightly brushed his fingers across her lips.

“I know, Knox. That’s all I want.” She placed a light kiss against his lips as he stood, placing her down onto the floor.

“Sometimes it’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna get scary at times, but I promise to always tell you the truth about what you want to know. But I can’t leave out pieces of myself to make you comfortable, I cannot be afraid of my truth. I need to know that you are in this with me, that no matter what you will be by my side in the end.”

She wasn’t sure what parts of that truth she wanted to know just yet. She’d have to take that one step at a time, “I promise to always be understanding.”

“That’s all I want.” His lips found hers once more as he stared down at her with his steel gray eyes. “Never thought I’d love someone. Didn’t think I could, Baby.”

“I know, Knox.

She made her way to the bathroom to freshen up before they headed downstairs to the party.

He grabbed her hand as they made it to the bottom of the stairs, pulling her under his arm they walked toward the music and chatter in the next room over. She smiled brightly as they made it into the common room and it erupted in shouts. She rolled her eyes as the blush spread across her face.

“Bout damn time!” Rage shouted from where he sat at the bar next to Kate, “He’s been moping around like a bloody woman for the past two weeks.”

“I will dump your lifeless body in a back alley if you keep talking that shite,” Knox eyed over at him sarcastically.

“I am glad you’re here,” Kate smiled as she engulfed Ani in a tight hug, “It hasn’t been the same without my best friend.”

“Yeah, sorry I shut you out. It was a lot to deal with,” Ani gave her an apologetic smile.

“I knew why you needed to, it’s ok. How are you though?”

“I’m good. Earlier tonight sucked, but it’s done.”

“I guess he didn’t take it very well?” Kate asked, she’d known Ani was going to see Cash before she came here.

“He took it better than I thought he would, which seems to make it even worse.”

Ani knocked at Cash’s front door, hoping and praying that he hadn’t already started fixing a four course meal. When he opened the door she could see that something was off. His face was sullen as he let her into the house, closing the door behind her and heading to the kitchen. She looked around when she walked in, no food on the stove or on the table and she let out a sigh of relief. That was until she saw the half empty whiskey bottle and the dripping shot glass on the table. She was timid as she sat across from him, unsure of the words to ease the pain flowing through his heart.

“Cash…” He held his hand up to stop her. He knew where she was going with this conversation and maybe to ease the crevice forming inside of him, he was making his effort to prolong the whole thing.

Silence settled in the room until the sloshing of the liquor bottle being poured cut through it, clinking when he set it back down on the table. His eyes were swollen and worried as he turned the shot back and swallowed it whole. Seeing him like this broke Ani’s heart, she had caused this pain in him. She had tried so hard not to, but her actions had led him on. She’d been so unsure of herself and her future that she portrayed it toward him in a different light.

“I know what you came here to say tonight, Ani,” his voice slurred as he spoke, “I see the way you look at him. I get it.”

“Cash, I don’t think you will ever know the ghosts from our relationship that I’ve never been able to overcome. I’ve tried, so many times, but it never works.”

“Bullshit, you haven’t tried. Not one time have you tried to make things right between us since you got home. You tell me one thing, leave me hanging on to the end of your rope and then you saddle up on the back of his bike.” He looked up at her, anger and hurt swirled throughout his eyes.

“Cash, please don’t go down that road. Please don’t push me away.”

“I have to. How can I sit here and be ok with the woman I love fucking some white trash biker?” his words were wounding as he threw them at her from across the table.

“You think you can just say something awful to me because it’s your right, Cash? It’s not! You have no right to judge me, or Knox for that matter. You have no idea what I have been through and what has led me to this point because you gave up on us.” Her eyes burned at the tears that were beginning to form. She took a deep steadying breath, trying to calm herself down before continuing, “You have always meant the world to me, more than anyone, but we’ve grown up and the things we used to want aren’t the same anymore. I still love you, Cash. I always will. I just need you as a friend right now.”

“Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of your own, Ani.”

“I’m not, Cash. I promise. I don’t want you to disappear from my life, but you have to give me the space to live it.”

“I know.” The anger that he’d held was now gone, replaced by a lack of emotion.

Ani sat across from him, staring at the void that she’d ripped in his chest. It would take time to fix his broken heart and she knew she needed to give him that. She stood slowly, staring down at him from the edge of the table before quietly walking toward him and planting a soft kiss against his temple. She turned to leave as his voice stopped her in her tracks.

“If you must know, sweetheart, your love was the best part of my life.”

She looked back at him, the tear rolling down his cheek wrenching her stomach in knots. “You never lost it, Cash. It will always be there.” With that, she left, walking out into the night air that now seemed colder than it ever had.

“Well, just give him some time. I am sure he will accept it sooner or later,” Kate rubbed her hand on Ani’s arm trying to console her.

“I need a shot,” Ani laughed.

“Now you’re talking my language!” Kate beamed as she pulled Ani toward the bar.

The music grew louder as a handful of other people came into the room from outside. She saw the flash of Chloe’s blonde hair come in behind Butcher; along with a few people she hadn’t met before. All of the men dressed in the same leather cut as the others. Ani eyed Chloe as she walked toward where Knox stood with Repo and Rage.

“She has been snaking her nasty self around here for the past two weeks,” Kate said sliding a beer and a shot across the table at Ani.

Something about that girl and her dirty looks sent a fiery irritation through her. Maybe Chloe hadn’t outright done anything to Ani, but her attitude wasn’t giving her a reason to go make nice with her.

“She wasn’t messing with Knox was she?” Ani turned and asked Kate.

“Not that I know of, but let’s face it. She would handcuff herself to his arm and swallow the key if she could. I can’t stand her.” Kate glared across the room openly.

“Welcome back,” Starla came up and took the stool next to Ani.

“Thanks, Starla.” Ani smiled.

“I’m glad you and Knox were able to work things out. It hasn’t seemed like much fun without you,” Starla patted her hand.

“You mean I’m not fun?” Kate protested?

“You know what I mean,” Starla laughed.

“Can I ask you something?” Ani turned to Starla.

“Sure, Toots, what is eating at that pretty brain of yours?”

“The night at the club,” Ani could see Starla’s face drop at the mention of the nightclub. “Does that happen often?”

“There are some things you need to know if you’re gonna be an old lady,” she looked across to Kate also, “Both of you. These guys eat, sweat, and breath this M.C., always will. It was pretty rough over in Ireland. Between the rival clubs and the citizens revolting against the government it seemed like we were caught in the middle of a shit storm,” she let out a deep sigh as she continued, “One of the main reasons we jumped at the opportunity to come here was because we hoped we could get away from that shit.”

“So is there still a charter in Ireland?” Kate asked, intrigued by the story.

“Yeah, Knox’s dad and a group of his close friends started the M.C. years ago. In the beginning it was just a hobby, but with the turn against the government in Ireland and radical anarchist forming groups, the club got into some pretty tough shit.”

“What kind of
tough shit?
” Ani’s voice broke as she asked.