Wingless Book Series (book 1) (26 page)

Chapter 24

Hopeless

As we made our way back home, I
stared at the huge diamond on my finger. It was way bigger than any
ring I had ever imagined. It was a pink diamond, Evan said. A rare
stone that had been in his family and reset. It shined and sparkled
so much in the moonlight. I was still so blown away at everything
that had happened in the day. Evan had asked me to be his wife, the
person he wanted to live the rest of his life with. And I had
accepted. And I was happy about it all.

The car crawled into the driveway.
Evan came to a slow stop, turning the lights off and turning to
look at me, his mood was still rather good for such a long,
eventful night.

“
Did you have a good birthday?” he
asked, smoothing my hair behind my ear.

“
Definitely, the best one ever,” I
said, staring at him. He sighed, just gazing at me. “What?” I
asked, laughing to myself. He was like, so totally odd after all
this.

“
I can’t believe you said yes,” he
said.

“
Really?” It was hard to believe
he would think I would say anything but that. But I guess everyone
had a little bit of insecurity in them.

“
I wasn’t sure. I really didn’t
know how it was going to go. Your reaction was memorable though,”
he said, his eyes seeming to drift back to the proposal.

“
Yeah, kind of embarrassing,” I
said, biting my thumb in frustration.

“
Don’t worry. I won’t tell
everyone. The most important ones already know,” he laughed,
getting out of the car.

“
It was a good surprise. I never
even expected that was coming,” I said, agreeing that I was quite
humorous.

We headed inside. The day
felt like it was finally releasing its grip as I sat down on the
couch.
I undid my shoes watching Evan undo
his shirt.

“
I’m glad you had no idea. That’s
what made it such a great moment,” he said, lying down on the
couch, his feet resting on my legs. I raised an eyebrow at his
comfort level. He didn’t even know if I liked feet enough to be
staring at them this close. Luckily, his feet were well taken care
of and so it was fine.

“
Sometime next week we will head
back for dinner at Carlo’s and work all the plans out. You’re still
okay with that right?” he asked, giving me an interesting
look.

“
I told you it was fine. I’m
curious to meet your other brother and the rest of your family,” I
said, nodding.

Next week marked another big
change. Evan’s brother would be coming back home and the rest of
his family would be there to congratulate us. I wasn’t sure what
all this entailed, but Evan insisted that it all would be a good
time. And good for us.

“
Do you think you’ll tell your
parents?” he asked, breaking into my thoughts.

“
I’m not sure what I will do,
honestly. I don’t know if it’s worth telling them. You know how
they are,” I said, checking his expression to make sure he wasn’t
offended. He wasn’t which was good that he knew enough to know not
to be when it came to my family.

“
Do you think you will tell them
we’re moving?” he asked, sitting up.

I wasn’t sure I heard right. My
body tensed at this shocker. “Moving? What, where?” I asked in a
panic.

“
We’ll still be close by, just a
different neighborhood. I think the part you will like is that Ari
and Kenny will be moving too,” he said so easily.

“
Evan, you never told me this. How
far away will we be?” I asked, getting a little confused on why
this was just now coming up, and why it seemed as if he had known
this all along.

“
Almost an hour, but not quite.
You’ll see it’s not that far. And I know you will like it better
than here. We will have more privacy, and we will still be by Ari
and Kenny.”

“
How do I break that kind of news
to my parents?” I said, feeling ready to explode. I was one to go
against them, but taking off and moving was a little too
far.

“
I didn’t expect this type of
reaction from you,” he said, growing somber.

“
Well, you don’t just spring
something on someone like that. It’s like it was already planned,
and if we are going to be together shouldn’t we both plan this out
together?” I looked to him for some sort of rational
answer.

Evan looked at me with a pathetic
looking face. “If I could plot out all these things in my life, you
would be the first one helping me do that. It’s just how it works.”
He shrugged, going back to his business demeanor.

“
Oh, so it’s just something that
has to happen? As in, part of how things work for you guys?” I let
it all roll off my tongue, swallowing down the fear that I would be
moved farther and farther away from all that I knew. I always had a
fear of unknown places, maybe because I hadn’t traveled much in my
life.

“
Remember when I told you to trust
me?” Evan asked.

“
Yeah, I remember, and I do. It’s
just hard,” I said, sighing out loud.

“
Please, just do that for me,” he
said, hoping I would give in.

I could tell by the look on his
face, he was tired and not ready for a fight. “I will go wherever
you go. It’s just hard to leave this city behind. It’s the only
thing I have left to remind me of my brother. It’s silly, I
know.”

I felt like staying in Beaumont I
was staying close to Marcus. He was buried here and I felt him in
all the memories here. If I left, I was afraid my memories would
fade away. And I didn’t want to forget about him.

“
It’s not silly at all. And if I
could work something out, I would. Your brother is in your heart,
and you’re taking that with you,” he said, smiling at
me.

“
I just don’t ever want to feel
like I’m forgetting him. He makes me happy. He is the one thing
that I can look back on and be really happy over.”

“
Like nostalgia or whatever they
call it?”

“
Yeah, good memories. Brings me
back to all the times when me and my family were really happy,
because now it’s just not that way anymore. And I really think it’s
partly because there is no more Marcus.”

Evan wrapped his arms around me,
kissing my forehead. “I can tell you one thing, I may not know a
lot about life, I may not have figured it all out, but no one is
ever really gone. They may be physically gone, but I think they
weave a life inside each and every one of us and that’s how they
live.”

He explained it so beautifully. In
some ways I agreed when someone you care about dies-their voice,
image, smell-lingers. Their belongings are still there and it’s as
if they made a backdrop for you to revel in and go back at times to
hold them close when you couldn’t imagine anymore.

I guess it didn’t matter where I
went; it was up to me to hold on to my brother’s memories. I would
always be heartbroken, that would never change. My only hope was
being able to carry Marcus along in everything that I
did.

“
Sometimes, I wish I could have
just talked to him one more time,” I said quietly into the dark as
I lay in bed.

“
What would you have said?” Evan
asked.

“
If everything was
okay.”

“
What do you mean?” Evan asked,
sounding confused.

“
Was his life everything he wanted
out of it? Was he happy?” I said, tears secretly falling down the
sides of my face. I didn’t touch them. To cry in the dark, no one
could tell.

“
I think he was,” Evan said all
knowing.

“
You think so?” I asked, getting
tired.

“
I can almost guarantee it,” he
said, rolling over and putting his arm across me.

“
I sure hope so. He was such a
great person.” I closed my eyes, Evan running his hands through my
hair lulled me to sleep.

“
Eve Renee!” A
loud voice shouted with urgency and what seemed like a little
anger. It frightened me because I knew there was only one person
who
sounded anything like
it.

I flew up in bed, out of breath
and frightened, trying to focus my eyes in the dark. I thought I
was going crazy, not sure what I had heard or if I was awake or
dreaming.

“
Eve Renee, why don’t you answer
me?” the voice echoed. I touched my forehead feeling as if I was
delirious. “Eve, don’t pretend you don’t know who is talking to
you,” he scolded.

I blinked hard, trying to get out
of the foggy feeling. The voice was that of Marcus, and I knew
there was no way that could be happening.

In the corner of the room appeared
my brother, exactly as he looked the last time he was here with us.
He lingered in the corner, his hands in his pockets, a big grin on
his face, his curly hair tousled and wild like always. I felt like
I was dying. I couldn’t breathe at such a shock as this.

“
Will you say something already?”
he said, his voice sounding more soothing as each word came
out.

“
Marcus?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s me. I
wanted to tell you that you’re doing the right thing. Well, I think
so anyways,” he told me. “Trust everything you do and you will keep
on the right path. You’re a smart girl.”

I sat astonished as he came forth
with all this information. “What do you mean? Are you talking about
Evan?” I asked in a rush, not sure how long before this would all
end.

“
I’m talking about everything. I
always thought you were something special and you’re proving it.
Trust, faith, and honesty, Eve,” he said, walking into the
darkness.

I woke up screaming. Evan flipped
on the light, shaking my whole body. I let my eyes open squinting
in the light. I was covered in sweat. His face was horrified. He
stood over me, surveying my every move. I was beyond spooked at
this point. What had just happened?

Chapter 25

Union of Self

I sat at the end of the bed
the
following morning dazed and confused.
The dream was so disturbing to me; it felt so real, almost like a
hallucination. Evan was already up and going. I felt foggy and like
everything going on around me wasn’t even happening. I didn’t know
what to do. How do you move on after something like that? It had
been four years since Marcus passed and not one time did I have a
dream about him, until now.

I lifted myself off the bed
walking in a cloud to the bathroom, and started brushing my teeth,
feeling as if I wasn’t even an image in the mirror.

“
You’re okay,” I said out loud,
looking at myself in the mirror, trying to will myself to believe I
wasn’t going crazy.

It was as if he was alive and not
just some silly dream, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about things
like that.

Ari came up behind me touching my
back lightly. I jumped, dropping my toothbrush on the
floor.

She raised her eyebrows, backing
off. “Are you alright?” she asked, looking a bit
concerned.

“
I guess,” I said, still not all
there.

I picked my toothbrush up off the
floor running my thumb down the bristles, staring at it intently,
so many thoughts in my head.

“
You know you can talk to me about
anything right?” she asked, breaking into my thoughts.

“
I know,” I said,
nodding.

Ari left quietly. I didn’t
know what to do. I hadn’t even told Evan much about what had
occurred. I had insisted it was just a bad dream. He quickly went
to bed as soon as he knew I was all right.

Coming into the living room, Ari
and Kenny sat watching TV quietly. They both took a quick glance at
me and I figured they thought I had lost my mind.

Evan came in the door holding a
few bags of groceries. He set them on the counter staring at me as
I stood there lifeless.

“
Eve, you okay?” he asked just
like Ari had.

“
I don’t know,” I said, my gaze
barely being broken even by Evan’s.

“
Come outside, you can talk to me
out here,” he said, opening the door to go out.

I followed his order, coming
outside. I crossed my arms looking at the ground, unsure how to
explain it without sounding like a nut case. “I don’t know, I just
feel funny,” I said.

“
Anything to do with last night?”
he asked in a flash.

“
Yeah.”

“
Tell me about it. Maybe that will
help,” he said, sitting down on a lawn chair.

“
I had a dream about my brother.
My dead brother,” I said, looking at Evan for signs he was freaked
out. His face didn’t change.

“
Okay, that’s not so bad. What was
it about?”

“
I’ve never dreamt about him
before, and he was telling me things,” I said.

“
Okay, like what?” Evan asked,
patting the seat next to him.

I was starting to feel better
already. “He told me I was doing the right thing. That he always
thought I was special. Just strange things,” I said,
sitting.