Winning Me Over (14 page)

TWENTY-THREE

PAIGE

"Y
ou didn't do anything wrong, Paige," Hadley says, sticking her pink plastic spoon into a paper cup filled with ice cream.

I glance
around, thinking about how the last time I was at Baskin Robbins it was with Colt. My gaze lights on the table we sat at, and my heart aches with longing. I set my cup of ice cream down, noticing that the scoop is melting inside. My stomach is churning so hard it’s making it difficult to eat. “Then why do I feel so bad?”

Hadley shrugs. “Because you liked him and you wanted to believe the best in him.”

“That’s just the thing. I still do.”

“But he lied to you, Paige.”

“So, Hads? Tripp did some pretty crappy things in his past too, but you’ve forgiven him.”

“That'
s different.” Hadley dips the spoon that is the same color as bubble gum into her ice cream and digs out a scoop.

“How?”

“What Colt did wasn’t exactly in his past. I mean, he stole from his job this week.”

“But what if he didn’t do it? I mean, they never found the money. They have no proof.”

Hadley gives me an exasperated look. “Then have enough proof, Paige. You just don’t want to see it.”

Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. “I just don’t get it. Why would he take the money?”

She shrugs, licking her spoon. “You said he’s pretty poor. And wasn’t he telling
you that he wanted to buy a car?”

I flash
her a dumbfounded look. “So he stole a hundred dollars, Hads? Really?”

“I don’t know why he did it, Paige.” Hadley smiles sympathetically. “And for what it’s worth
, I’m really sorry that he did. I know you really liked him.”

I nod, knowing that Hadley’s trying to help me.

“But isn’t it better that you found out now before you got in any deeper with him?” she asks.

Define deeper
. That’s what I want to say to her, but I don’t. I feel like I’m already in too deep with Colt. He’s under my skin. He’s imprinted on my heart. I’m not sure I can just forget about him and move on. And I’m not sure I want to. Of course I’m mad that he didn’t tell me the truth about his past, but I always knew there were things he didn’t want to share. I mean, he told me that. And in my heart, I know he didn’t take that money.

“Hey.” Hadley waves her hand in my face. “You know that I’ll support you no matter what, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I just hate to see you get hurt, so I have to speak my mind.” She winks. “I learned that from my best friend.”

“She’s pretty opinionated, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she is.” Hadley giggles. Then she takes another bite of her ice cream.

I take a bite of mine too, even though it’s like eating soup at this point. When it dribbles down my chin, I catch it with a napkin.

“How is your mom doing?” Hadley
asks, her eyes serious.

“She’s doing okay. She’s handling her chemo a little better this time around.”

“What about you? How are you handling it?”

I shrug. “
I'm just taking things one day at a time and trying to enjoy every minute I have with her."

"Wow."
Hadley smiles. "That's amazing. You're so much stronger than I am, that's for sure."

"Because of Colt," I mumble under my breath.

"What?" My friend leans in to hear me.

"Colt taught me that."

Hadley bites her lip, staring at me worriedly. "You really like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, I really do," I say miserably.

"Then what are you gonna do?"

I shake my head. "I have no idea." And that's the truth. I'm so conflicted right now. I miss Colt so much that I just want to show up at his house and throw my arms around him. Only I know I can't do that. He'll see the confusion in my eyes, he'll sense the doubt. And then I'll never get him back. I'll ruin any chance we have of being together. But I'm afraid the longer I stay away
, the more distant he'll become. Maybe I can't win. Maybe things are already too screwed up. Perhaps we'll never find our way back to each other again.

I've felt Colt's absence in my life like a physical thing. But now that I'm at work, it feels even more real. The reality of the situation crashes over me, and I worry that he's really gone for good. When I first got here this morning, I pulled my apron off the hook and was assaulted with memories of him helping me tie it; of our passionate kiss. Then I glanced up and saw his apron with his nametag still attached. I reached out and fingered the gold etching, tracing the letters of his name, and I felt sick.

For two days I've been walking around in a cloud.
I thought maybe I'd snap out of it, but it only seems to be getting worse.  Mom tried to talk to me about it, but I just couldn't discuss it with her. She needs to focus on her health and recovery. Besides, it's not like I don't know she's feeling sick. She's doing her best to hide it, but she's forgetting that I know the signs. I see the little cringes of pain, the pale skin and drawn face. In fact, I've noticed it ever since the night Colt came over. The minute I walked into the kitchen and saw Colt cooking with her, I knew something was up. I watched her that night and then I knew the real reason Colt offered to help her. It was because she wasn't feeling as well as she had told me.

My heart flutters at the memory. How could someone that sweet do this? I know I couldn't have misjudged him so badly. I close my eyes, picturing
how tender he'd been the day I told him about my mom's illness. I can practically feel his hands on me as I conjure up the memory of our first hug, our first kiss.

It was real. I didn't imagine any of it. He showed me his heart
, and I know it was genuine. So what if he did bad things in his past? That doesn't matter to me. I know who he is now. He's kind and gentle - the type of guy who would help my mom when she's sick and hold me when I cry.

God, what have I done?
How could I have doubted him again? Doubling over, I feel sick. Whirling around, I head to the bathroom in the back of the coffee shop. We're not open yet, so I have a few minutes. After using the restroom, I splash cold water on my face and race out. As I hurry out to the front, I crash into someone. My body is jolted backwards from the force, and I teeter on the balls of my feet. I flail my arms out and connect with thick fabric. I bunch it between my fingers to hold myself upright.

"If you wanted to feel me up, you could've just asked," Jon says, and I stiffen.

Pushing my hair back with my free hand I steady myself and look up at him. "Sorry. It was an accident."

"Then why are you still touching me?" He looks down at my fingers still gripping his apron.

I roll my eyes and toss it at him. When I do, the entire apron swishes to the side. The little pocket in the front is folded over, and my gaze catches on a green bill inside.

My heart quickens. "What's that?" I reach for it. He bats my hand away
, but I'm quicker. The bill is in my fingers. "Why do you have a hundred dollar bill in your pocket?"

He snatches it from me. "It's mine. Don't worry about it. God, you act like you've never seen money before."

"Wasn't it a hundred dollar bill that was stolen just two days ago?"

"
Yeah. So?" His eyes widen. "You think I took that money? Why would I do that?"

It does seem a little farfetched. Also, why would he still have it today? As if in answer to my question I glance to the wall, at Colt's apron still hanging there with his nametag intact. "You were
gonna plant it on Colt's things."

He laughs bitterly, his eyes darkening. "Man, you really are delusional. I didn't take money from my dad's shop. There would be no reason for me to do that. Your boyfriend took it because he's a loser. So just deal with it."

Anger courses through me. As odd as it seems I believe with everything inside me that Jon did this. He set all this in motion, and I'll do everything in my power to prove it. "Colt's not the loser. You are. Isn't that what this is about? You wanted me but you couldn't have me. So you were jealous of him."

"You have a real ego, don't you?" Jon moves so close to me I can feel his breath on my skin. I shudder, grossed out by his proximity. But I make no attempt to get away. I stand up straighter, lifting my chin. I will not cower from him. "You really think I would go to all this trouble over you? You're trash. The loser with the piercings can have you. And you two can have lots of little pierced up, tatted up babies for all I care."

"Oh, you care. If you didn't, then you wouldn't have gone running to Daddy the minute you saw us kissing."

His hand is clamped around my upper arm before I can register what's happening. Pain sears up to my shoulder. "Listen here, you little bitch. If I wanted you, I'd have you right now, right here." H
e rams up against the wall, and his face nears mine. The grip on my arm tightens, and my heart thumps so loudly I fear I might have a heart attack. Fear snakes around my heart. I'm acutely aware of the fact that the shop is locked and we're the only ones here. "You think you're so smart, but you don't know shit." He grinds the words out.

"What's going on here?
" A man's voice bellows.

When Jon releases me, I exhale and slump against the wall. My gaze connects with Bud's. His eyebrows are knit together.

"Oh." Jon runs a hand over his head. "Hey, Dad. I didn't know you were coming in this morning."

Bud's gaze flies between Jon and I. "You
gonna tell me what's going on here?"

Oh, hell. What do I have to lose? "I caught Jon with a hundred dollar bill. He was trying to plant it on Colt's apron. Colt didn't steal that money, Bud. I'm sure of it." Jon glares at me, hard. I swallow. "When I confronted Jon he attacked me."

Bud recoils from my words. "Is this true, son?"

"Of course not.
She's just making up lies to protect her boyfriend. They were probably in on it together."

My mouth drops open in shock. "Check him, Bud. He has the money."

Bud sighs. "Paige, why don't you go home for the day? Jon and I will work this out."

He doesn't believe me.
Of course he doesn't. It's my word over his son's. What did I expect? When my gaze flickers over to Jon, he gives me a smug smile. I turn back to Bud fully intending to tell him to shove this job up his ass. I don't need it. I can find plenty of other places to work where I'm not robbed or assaulted. Then I think about Colt. It's clear that he didn't steal from here, and I need to prove it. I need to clear his name, and the only way to do it is to keep working here until I can obtain some evidence to support my theory. Shoulders slumping, I drag myself out the door. The minute I get to my car, I know exactly where I have to go and exactly what I have to do.

TWENTY-FOUR

COLT

I
'm blown away when she shows up at my door. I never expected her to seek me out, not after the way she ran away from me the last time we saw each other. She looks so hot, and I just want to take her in my arms, to kiss her until I can forget this whole shitty week. But then I remember that look - the one she gave me the last time I saw her - and my anger resurfaces. I glower down at her, crossing my arms over my chest so I won't be tempted to touch her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we could talk." Her voice is small, unsure. It's nothing like how she normally sounds.

I fight to keep my anger in check, to not cave. "Well, I was hoping to never see you again, so I guess you're out of luck." Ignoring the hurt look on her face, I slam the door shut.

Only she blocks it with her arm. "Colt! Please?"

"Sorry. Begging doesn't work on me." Just as I'm turning away from her, my gaze catches on her arm
, and I freeze. Bruises circle her upper arm. In one swift movement I reach out and grab her wrist. Slowly I roll her arm and inspect the bruising. It is dark purple and in the shape of handprints. "Who did this to you?"

Paige's breathing is labored. I can see
her chest heaving up and down. "Jon," she whispers.

I drop her arm, rage filling me. "I'll kill him," I mutter to myself. Then
I look up at Paige, curious. "Why?"

"I accused him of taking the money." There is desperation in her eyes
. "I know you didn't do it. I told Bud too."

"Where was all this conviction the other day?" I lean against the doorframe, narrowing my eyes.

"I'm so sorry about that. Will you please just let me in so we can talk?" Her eyes plead with me.

I stare at her for a mom
ent, thinking. Then I look at her bruises, and I know I'll say yes. Nodding, I swing the door open wider. "Fine. Come in."

She ducks past me. Callie sits on the couch holding Bristol in her lap and
Zander is watching TV when we pass the family room.

"Let's go to my room," I mumble, looking at the ground.

Paige nods, pressing her lips together. Then she glances over. "Hey, Callie. Hi, Zander."

They both greet h
er, and then she follows me down the darkened hallway. I step inside my room, Paige at my heels. She's so close I can feel her breath on my back. Her woodsy scent swirls around me. After closing the door behind us, I rest my back against the dresser and shove my hands into my pockets.

Paige's eyes rove around the room, taking in the stark white walls and minimal furniture. "It looks like a hotel room, like no one lives here at all." She glances at the floor where my bag of clothes sits
. "All of your stuff is in bags. Are you going somewhere?"

"Eventually."
I roll my neck, agitated.

She steps toward me.
"Colt." There is something so passionate about the way she says my name, and it causes my head to snap up. Her hand comes toward me, her fingers grazing my face. Heart thumping, I shove her hand away.

"No, Paige."

She reels back like I slapped her. "So we're back to Paige, huh?"

"Yeah, we are." I shove my fingers back in my
pockets. "Did you have something to say? If so, go ahead and say it. I don't have all day."

Paige licks her lips. "Wow, I wasn't expecting you to be so mean."

"Why not? It's who I am. I'm a bad guy, a criminal. You know the truth now, so there's no use pretending any differently."

"But it
isn't the truth. You're not a bad guy. You're the most amazing guy I know."

"Then I feel sorry for you."

"Colt." She speaks harshly. More harsh than I've ever heard her before. "Stop acting like this. This isn't who you are."

"Isn't it?" I spew out. "I
t's who you thought I was. I saw it in your eyes."

Her bottom lip trembles and she bi
tes down on it. "I'm sorry. I never should've doubted you."

"And yet you
did. And not just one time. You did it multiple times." I groan, running a hand over my face. "God, I even started to open up to you. I'm such an idiot."

"No, you're not
. I'm the idiot." She takes a couple steps toward me. "I knew better. I knew all along. It's just that when Bud started telling me about how you'd been in juvie..." her voice trails off and she shakes her head.

"Once you knew I was a criminal you decided that I must be the one who robbed you
, and of course I must have stolen that hundred." I smile sadly. "It's okay. I'm used to people believing the worst. You're no different."

"But I am
different. I know you can't see that now, Colt, but I am. I care about you. A lot. Hell, I'm crazy about you."

"You'll get over it." I shove past her, not able to be this close. It's hard enough not to touch her, not to sweep her into my arms. Frankly, it's killing me.

"No, I won't. And I don't want to. I know you. And you aren't this person. I don't care about your past."

I whirl around to face her. "Well, you should. Everything they said about me is true. I have been to
juvie. I do have a criminal record. I hurt people. It's what I do."

She stands taller. "If you're trying to scare me away
, it's not working. I've already been manhandled and shoved up against a wall today, and by someone a lot scarier and meaner than you."

This kills
me. "Oh, God, Paige. I just want to break that little twerp in half. How could he hurt you like this?" I rush to her, running my fingers over her bruises.

"See? I told you. You're not the monster you're pretending to be." She presses her palm to my ch
est. "You have a big heart."

Releasing her arm, I pull away.
Facing the wall, I take a deep breath. "My big heart is always getting me in trouble." I swallow thickly, not sure why I'm about to share all this. I have no idea if I still want to be with Paige, but for some reason I want her to know my story. I want her to know the real me. "My parents are drug addicts. They always have been. Sometimes they clean up for a short period of time, but then they go right back to using again. Every once in awhile it gets so bad that we end up going to live with other family members. But eventually my parents’ either come to get us or the family member gets tired of us and pawns us off on someone else. But while we're with my parents, life is pretty tough. They don't eat regular meals, and they rarely shop for food. So I've had to steal so that I can feed Zander. It kills me to see him hungry." I bite back unwanted emotion and continue on, staring at my shadow against the wall. I can see Paige's shadow behind mine, but I don't dare turn around. I won't be able to continue while looking at her. "After my mom had Bristol she just couldn't handle all of the crying and everything, so she sent us here. Aunt Callie is my dad's sister. She's literally the only family member we haven't stayed with before. But I swear to you that I haven't robbed or stolen anything since we got here. I haven't needed to. Callie takes care of us."

I flinch when Paige's hand falls on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Colt.
For all of it. You deserve so much better than the life your parents have made you endure."

"Not all of us get a charmed life. It's all a crap shoot." I shrug.

Her arms wrap around my waist. I don't fight her off, but I don't respond to her either. "Let me help you. Let me be here for you the same way you were for me."

"I want to. I really do." I pry her hands off. "But I just can't."

Her face falls. "Why not?"

"What happens the next time someone accuses me of something? Will you doubt me again?"

"No." She shakes her head vehemently.

"I want to believe that, but history tells me otherwise."

"History doesn't always repeat itself."

"But it
usually does. I'm sorry, but I just can't do this."

"But, Colt."
She speaks so softly I can barely hear her. "I need you."

"No, you don't. You'll be fine without me. You have plenty of people who love you."

"What about you? Who do you have?"

"Don't worry about me." I skirt around her, knowing I have to get her out of here fast. I won't be able to keep up my resolve much longer.

"But I do worry about you."

"Well, stop." I open my bedroom door and sweep my hands out. "
I don’t want to be mean to you, so please just leave. You know the way out."

She nods, her gaze dropping to her feet. When she reaches me, she glances up into my eyes. "You know where to find me if you change your mind."

"Don't hold your breath." When she passes me, I whisper, "McAllistor."

I see the hopeful smile that passes over her lips as she quickly walks forward, and it makes me feel guilty.
Why did I feel the need to add that?