Winter Chill (9 page)

The bidding got all the way up to a dollar and a half before they folded. Dan flashed his four kings and raked in the pile of money.

“Some guys have all the luck!” Gus grumbled, opening another beer. “It’s my deal, boys. And the luck’s about to change!”

Dan grinned, but the words rang in his ears.
Some guys have all the luck.
Sure. Right now he’d trade places with anyone at this table. They didn’t know how lucky they were.

 

 

Marian was thinking about heading home. The party was getting a little loud now, and she had a slight headache. She took three aspirins out of her purse and washed them down with the rest of her eggnog.

“Here’s another glass, Marian.” Harvey came up to her table with a drink in hand. “I’ve been meaning to ask you. What do you think of moving grade six to junior high? Will it disrupt the system?”

Marian almost groaned aloud. She’d be trapped for at least twenty minutes now, discussing the pros and cons of the proposed change. She picked up her glass and took a big swallow. Harvey always liked to talk education at these parties, and he had a habit of going on and on. It might be more interesting if she weren’t quite sober.

“I’m not sure, Harvey.” Marian smiled sweetly. “What do
you
think?”

Half an hour later, Marian managed to excuse herself to use the ladies’ room. She had worked her way through four glasses of eggnog, and her head was whirling. She wanted to leave for home now, but she wasn’t sure she could navigate the icy streets. It might be better to stay for a few minutes, until her head cleared.

She sat down in front of the long mirror and stared at her reflection. She looked good tonight. The blue knit dress clung to her figure, and her hair was sleek and glossy. She wasn’t really beauty-queen material, but several men had been eyeing her all evening. It was a good thing Dan wasn’t here. He’d certainly be jealous tonight.

Midge poked her head in the door. “So that’s where you’re hiding out! I must say I don’t blame you. We saw you sitting there, stuck with Harvey. I just wanted to tell you we’re leaving now. Edith wants to get home before her driveway’s snowed in.”

“Is it that bad out there?” Marian stood up and patted her hair. “Maybe I’d better think about leaving, too.”

“You won’t have any trouble.” Midge laughed. “You know Edith and her driveway. She worries if there’s half an inch of snow. Stay and enjoy yourself, Marian. I think this party’s doing you a world of good.”

“Just the person I wanted to see.” Drew grabbed her arm as she walked across the dance floor. “How about another dance before Harvey catches me? He’s got Mary’s husband cornered right now, but I can tell he’s looking for a new target.”

“Where were you when I needed you?” Marian asked, grinning. “You didn’t come to my rescue.”

“Aw, come on, Marian . . . have a heart!” Drew glanced over his shoulder and winced. “And hurry up. He’s looking right at me.”

Marian giggled slightly. She had half a notion to refuse, but Drew’s hand on her arm was compelling.

“All right, but consider it your going-away present.” She laughed. “One rescue, all gift wrapped and tied with a pretty bow.”

Marian stumbled slightly as they started to dance. She couldn’t seem to keep her balance.

“I think you had one eggnog too many, Marian.” Drew looked down at her and grinned. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d swear you were smashed.”

“Not me.” Marian shook her head. “I’m as sober as a lawyer. No. A judge. And I think I need another little drink.”

“You’re going to have a hangover in the morning, Marian. Are you sure you want another drink?”

“Assotively, possilutely.” Marian giggled again, her hand to her mouth. “I guess I am a little drunk. But I’m having so much fun!”

“It’s your head, kid.” Drew pulled her off the dance floor and found a place for them at the bar. “Eggnog, right?”

“I think the lady will switch to vodka now.” Marian perched on a stool and smiled regally. “Vodka on the rocks, with a twist of... something.”

Drew raised his eyebrows, but he poured the drink. Marian took a sip and coughed. The vodka was harsh, but it felt like hot velvet in her throat. She felt loose and carefree, relaxed at last after a month of grueling tension. She could understand why people drank now; she had never really understood before. Everything was nice. There were no worries. This was turning out to be the best party of her life.

 

 

“Hey, Dan? Wake up, buddy. It’s your turn to deal.”

Dan gave a sheepish grin as he gathered in the cards and started to shuffle. He sure didn’t want the guys to start asking him what was on his mind. He’d have to pay more attention to the game from now on.

As he shuffled, he imagined her dancing with Drew, their bodies pressed closely together. She’d probably had a couple of drinks by now. They always drank a lot at teachers’ parties. Drew would be holding her a little too close, but she wouldn’t mind. She’d be having a wonderful time, laughing up at him as she whirled around the floor.

“Don’t you think they’re mixed up enough yet?”

“Oh, yeah. Just trying to make sure there’re five aces in your hand, Gus.” Dan passed the deck over for the cut. He had to stop thinking about her. She was probably discussing teaching methods with Midge and Edith. His imagination was getting the best of him. Christ, he wished she’d get home soon!

His hands were warm, and Marian cried out softly. For some strange reason her hair was wet. Vaguely, she remembered a silly snowball fight in the parking lot. They really should go home now. It must be dreadfully late. Or were they already home? No, the curtains were striped. Her house didn’t have striped curtains.

At least she wasn’t drunk. Marian giggled softly. Look at how neatly she had solved that problem. Striped curtains, no striped curtains. She was not at home.

Her dress was folded carefully over the couch so it wouldn’t wrinkle. That proved her sobriety. Had she folded it? She couldn’t remember taking it off.

Marian opened her eyes wide and looked down at herself. She was wearing . . . nothing. That was funny. The best-dressed teacher at the party was wearing nothing.

There was a sensation of heat and wetness. It felt wonderful. The fingers of her right hand moved down to stroke his hair. The delicious feeling seemed to last for hours, and then she was weightless, watching the curtains recede as she traveled through the doorway and down the hall. Another doorway. Count them. One. Two. It was almost like flying. And then there was a warm, soothing rocking as she sank down on the bed.

A water bed. Her mind was working clearly now. She was on a heated water bed, and the sheets were warm and smooth. She turned to look at the floor and smiled happily. A pile of clothing was growing there. Shirt, pants, socks . . . She was tired of counting.

“Mmmm, it’s just like swimming.” Her voice was filled with laughter. “This is the first time, you know. I’ve never been on a water bed before.”

There was answering laughter, deeper, more resonant. She tried to sit up to smile at him, but it was difficult to keep her balance. Gentle waves lapped under her, and she was floating, hanging on to the only solid bulwark, arms tightening around his body, pulling him close.

His body was smooth, heat generating under the surface of his skin. His tongue streaked like fire from one aching side to the other. She was caught in the cross fire. The heat was raging. Pleasure streaked through her body in a dizzying circle.

“Don’t move.” She heard him through a foggy filter. “Just enjoy, honey.”

She heard herself laugh. She
was
enjoying and she made a sound, a low moan of animal pleasure. The room was whirling and she was in the center, drowning in a whirlpool of sensation. Faster she raged, whirling and dipping in heart-stopping ecstasy, almost lost in the bursting of this unexpected delight.

Her eyes opened wide and she looked up at him. The man she loved. Her husband. Wonderful Dan. But it wasn’t Dan! Drew’s face had taken his place!

Suddenly her thoughts turned cold, her mind icy with shock. She looked down to observe her flushed, heated body on the bed. Mind and body were separated fully. She felt nothing but disdain for the very sensations she had loved only a short moment before.

Bad,
she thought from her post as unwilling observer.
Don’t. Now, don’t. Stop it. Why are you doing this? Wrong. No. No!

Shame flew from her mind to her body. And then panic so deep, she pushed him back and opened her mouth to scream.

“Marian! Jesus!”

She was quiet now. Calm. “I can’t,” she stated flatly. “I have to go home. I can’t.”

“Sure, Marian.” He was looking at her with something like fear. “I’ll take you back to the van.”

She dressed calmly, efficiently, moving like an automaton. Her clear, rational mind gave the orders. And she felt nothing as she rode in silence to the cold parking lot, started the icy engine of the van, and drove off alone. She had not bothered to erase the fear on his face. It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was Dan.

CHAPTER 10

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait until Marian gets home?”

“No, I’m fine.” Dan watched as Ronnie carried the last of the dirty dishes into the kitchen. “Thanks for cleaning up, Ronnie. And thanks for playing such lousy poker.”

Ronnie laughed good-naturedly. “How much did you stick us for, Dan?”

“Four dollars and thirty-five cents. That’s almost as much as teachers’ wages. Maybe I ought to quit working and move to Vegas.”

Ronnie laughed. He’d heard this complaint about teachers’ salaries before. They were all underpaid. He made more working for the resorts in a week than Dan made in a whole month.

“Well, I’ll get going then. See you in a couple of days, Dan.”

It was twelve thirty, and Dan switched on the television.
Kind Hearts and Coronets
was running on the movie channel. He’d seen it before, but it was still good diversion until Marian got home. She ought to be here any minute now.

Alec Guinness had been murdered for the fifth time before he started to worry. It was one fifteen, and Marian still wasn’t home. If she wasn’t home by the end of the film, he’d call the lodge. Maybe the party was running late this year.

They were running the credits now. Robert Hamer was one hell of a director! They didn’t make comedies like this anymore. Dan reached for the phone as the last of the credits rolled. He really
was
worried about Marian. The streets were icy tonight.

There was no answer at the Elks Lodge. Either the party was over or they weren’t answering the phone. Dan debated for a minute, and then he called Butch Johnson.

Butch answered the phone on the first ring. Dan could hear his stereo playing punk rock in the background.

“Isn’t she home yet?” Butch sounded very drunk. “She left the same time I did. It was about twelve thirty, I think. We had a snowball fight in the parking lot, and Marian was blotto. Drew said he’d drive her home.”

Dan clenched his fist as he thanked Butch politely and hung up the phone. She left with Drew! And it took only five minutes to get here from the Elks Lodge. He had known something like this would happen!

Maybe Butch was wrong about the time. He was pretty drunk. Or maybe Drew and Marian had stopped off for a cup of coffee. They might even be stuck in a snowdrift a couple of blocks from here.

Dan did his best to give her the benefit of the doubt, but his mind was filled with horrible pictures. Marian in Drew’s apartment. Marian in Drew’s bed. Marian lifting her arms and pulling Drew down to her naked body. He felt a mixture of rage and despair as the minutes dragged on and on.

At 2:20 a.m. he heard her key in the lock. Then she was standing in the doorway, her hair disheveled, clothes disarranged, as if she’d dressed in a hurry. There was no doubt in his mind now. Icy rage took the place of worry.

“You were with
him,
weren’t you!”

The tears that fell from her eyes were an affirmation. Then she was stumbling toward him, lipstick smeared in a red gash on her white face.

“Oh, God! I never meant to! Dan . . . please! I was so drunk, I . . . I thought it was you!”

Getting drunk was a sophomoric excuse. Dan trembled with anger. Oh, she was drunk, all right. Any fool could see that. But she had known exactly what she was doing!

He wanted to hit her, to rise from his bed and beat the living shit out of her!

Dan gave a bitter snort. That would be pretty hard to do. Marian had the odds in her favor. She could sleep with anyone she wanted, even bring them right into the house, and he wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it. Damn these useless legs!

Dan turned his face to the wall. He wouldn’t say another word to her. There was nothing to say. She had betrayed him by her own admission.

“Please, Dan, I swear it’ll never happen again!” Her voice was shaking and desperate. “I never meant to hurt you. You’ve got to believe me. Please, Dan! Tell me you forgive me!”

Her guilty tears were wet against his cheek, but there was no way she could reach him now. He was isolated by his anger. He was a rock, a cold, untouchable shape in the bed as she cried out her useless pleas for forgiveness over and over again.

At last it stopped, and she was quiet. Dan was alone in his cocoon of pain. He heard her rise and get ready for bed, felt her slip under the covers beside him. Her skin was warm as she cuddled up against him, but he felt no closeness. She was a stranger now. The Marian he had loved was dead.

 

 

Marian had cried for hours, but he wouldn’t forgive her. He was like a block of ice in the bed, frozen and still. Just being close to him made the cold creep into her heart. She was alone in her pain, alone in her guilt, totally and irrevocably alone.

Laura’s room. She was out of bed the moment she thought of it. She would go to Laura’s room and sleep. She would be alone there, but no more so than here. And Laura might come to her and comfort her.

She switched on the Snoopy night-light and opened the heat vent. It was better up here, away from Dan. There was comfort in the shape of Laura’s toys in the dim light. Marian turned back the covers and slipped into the narrow bed. She was so tired. In no time at all she was warm and asleep.

Dan stared out the window. It was starting to get light. He couldn’t make out the numbers on his watch yet, but it must be between five and six in the morning.

He was alone in the bed. Marian had left him, and he had heard her go up the stairs to Laura’s room. Dan had felt relief. With Marian gone, he could sleep at last. Just having her beside him, sharing his bed, was a constant pain.

It seemed he had just dropped off to sleep when the dream came. It was another walking dream, the kind he had experienced before. This time he walked to the kitchen. The moon was shining in the window, casting pale blue shadows over the linoleum floor. He opened the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of orange juice, then stood at the window and drank it. The moon was cold and full over Heidelberg Hill. He rinsed out his glass and came back to bed, the floor icy under his bare feet. Then he pulled up the covers and went back to sleep, only to wake again with a strange sensation in his legs.

It was hard to believe it was only a dream. Dan reached down to feel his legs, grabbing the flesh between his thumb and finger, pinching hard. Nothing. There was no feeling at all. Not now. But they had tingled before, and there was a soreness in the muscles of his thighs. It was the same sensation he used to get when he skated too long or hiked up a long, steep hill. Now it was gone, but he remembered the dream. He had walked again, and it felt so real!

He stared out the window, eyes bleak, and watched the daylight come. His mind was filled with memories, and his heart was filled with hate. Damn Marian for taking what he couldn’t give her!

 

 

For a moment she was disoriented, unfamiliar with the shape of the room. Then she knew where she was. She was sleeping in Laura’s bed. Marian sat up and blinked against the sun streaming in the window. It was late, eleven o’clock in the morning. Her head hurt.

Marian padded across the hall to the bathroom and took three aspirins. Her face looked back at her from the mirror over the medicine cabinet. Nothing had changed. She still looked exactly the same.

Perhaps it was all a dream? For a moment, Marian tried to believe that. But it wasn’t a dream, even though her dreams of late were remarkably vivid. The borders were blurred between dreams and reality. It was much harder now to tell the difference.

Then she remembered, and the pain was back. Yes, it had really happened. Dan would never forgive her.

It was over. Drew was leaving for New York tomorrow. She would never have to face him again. But how could she face Dan!

There was no sound from the den as she passed the door. Dan was still sleeping. Marian plugged in the coffee and forced herself to drink a glass of orange juice. There was a terrible taste in her mouth. Then she sat at the table and sipped her coffee, wishing she could turn time back to early November. They had been so happy then.

She could hear the television go on in the den. Dan must be awake. She’d take him a cup of coffee and start his breakfast. She had to act normally, as if nothing had happened. It was the only way she could cope.

“Do you want coffee?” She winced at the dark circles under his eyes. She had caused them. What if he refused to talk to her? What would she do then?

“Yes, thank you.”

His tone was civil, inflections neutral, as if he were talking to a stranger. Guilt stabbed through her as she set the coffee down on the bedside table.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I scheduled hockey practice for three this afternoon.”

“During vacation?”

“It’s not for the whole team.” He was explaining so politely that Marian felt like a visitor in her own home. “Cliff and I arranged to get together a couple of times over the holidays. He wants some extra practice so he won’t stiffen up. That ankle of his is still giving him trouble.”

“I’ll drive you to the school. I have to do some shopping, anyway. And now I’d better start your breakfast, or we’ll never get out of here in time.”

At least they were talking! Marian drew a relieved breath. It was a start.

Marian put some bacon in the pan and took out a carton of eggs. The phone rang, and she picked it up in the kitchen.

“Did you have a good time at the teachers’ party?” It was Sally. “Tell me all about it.”

“It was the usual thing, Sally . . . drinking, dancing, and trying to avoid Harvey. Last night he wanted to discuss moving the sixth grade up to junior high.”

“Did you see Drew? Somebody said he was leaving tomorrow.”

Marian shuddered. Even hearing his name filled her with remorse.

“I danced with him a couple of times. Nothing much happened at the party, Sally.”

At least that much was true. Everything had happened
after
the party. Marian pressed the bacon down with her spatula and put on the eggs.

“I just wanted to check in with you.” Sally laughed easily. “Ronnie lost a buck and a half to Dan last night. How does it feel being married to a winner?”

Somehow Marian managed to finish the conversation. Her hands were shaking as she drained the bacon and set it on the plate. She was very glad this was Christmas vacation. There would be no rehashes of the party in the faculty lounge. Perhaps everyone would forget about it before school started again.

 

 

“I’ll meet you here at four.” Dan waved as Cliff pushed him off toward the rink. He was pretending everything was normal between them, and Marian was grateful. Nisswa was a small town, and people would talk if they thought anything was wrong.

Marian backed the van out of the lot and drove through town to the Red Owl. She had a grocery list a mile long, and the store would be crowded today. Most people did their weekly shopping on Saturday afternoon.

A red pickup truck was just backing out, and Marian found a spot next to the entrance. There was an empty shopping cart outside, and she pushed it through the door. It didn’t take long to learn why it had been abandoned. Three wheels pulled for the meat case, while the other headed in the direction of the parking lot. She had half a notion to leave it in the middle of the aisle, but the store was crowded and there was a shortage of carts.

Pork chops for dinner. Marian picked up a package and tried to see the meat under the top layer. She hated these Styrofoam trays. Meat packaged in clear plastic was easy. All you had to do was tip it over to see the bottom. Now it was a guessing game. And they always put the best cuts on top. She should have gone to the butcher in Brainerd.

Chicken was safe. She put a whole fryer in her basket. And bacon. They had used the last this morning.

“Marian?” Dorothy Pepin barreled out of the paper-products aisle. “I’m glad I caught up with you. Did you have a good time at the teachers’ party last night?”

For a second Marian was nonplussed. How did Dorothy know! But of course she didn’t know. Dorothy was just asking a friendly question.

“It was fine,” Marian answered, picking up two rolls of paper towels. “Noisy, crowded, the usual stuff. It looks like you’re stocking up for vacation.”

“Oh, my, yes!” Dorothy smiled. “I’m experimenting with tofu this week at home. I decided we should have a Chinese unit for the seniors. It’s the
in
food right now. I’m asking the school board for a wok.”

Marian glanced down at Dorothy’s basket. It was filled with Chinese cabbage, water chestnuts, and a variety of sprouts. Some of the greens weren’t green, and the sprouts looked limp and wilted. It was just like Dorothy to schedule a Chinese unit in the middle of the winter. Produce was expensive this time of year, and the quality was terrible.

“Oh, there’s Drew!” Dorothy pointed toward the front of the store. “I have to catch up with him to say good-bye. He’s leaving tomorrow, you know.”