Wish You Were Here (28 page)

‘Look,' interrupted Andy, ‘can we stop talking about going home and start having some fun here? Tonight's our last night together. And I'm pretty sure that none of us is ever going to come back here again. So let's just enjoy ourselves okay?' He patted me on the back. ‘And that means you too, mate. Tonight is going to be a night you're never going to forget.'

Things were busy now. The pavements were packed with so many young Brits that it was hard to imagine there could be anyone between the ages of eighteen and thirty left at home. They were all here, fuelled with booze and ready to party.

The bar girls of the strip were in force. It was easy to pick them out amongst the streets crowded with holidaymakers because they stood out a mile: long legs, incredible bodies, cheeky personalities, provocative dress sense. It was all there and it was all working for them. We watched in admiration as a stunning girl in a pink top, short skirt and cowboy boots managed to single-handedly herd about ten guys into Bar Logica in a matter of seconds. Meanwhile across the way three girls wearing tight jeans and matching polka-dot bikini tops were picking off groups of guys at random and leading them into Hotshot's cocktail lounge at such a rate that there was a huge backlog of blokes crowded in the bar like sheep waiting to be shorn. But despite the strong bar-girl presence, unlike on our previous visits, not a single one of them even looked in our direction. The message was clear. Even though there were three of us – and only one of Lisa – in their eyes at least, we all belonged to her. We were no longer strays as I'd imagined at the airport. We had an owner. A leader. Someone in charge. And the girls in their short skirts and tight tops knew and respected that. And although I didn't miss the attention – my mind was too focused elsewhere – I did resent the assumption that Lisa owned all three of us, even if in truth they were actually only one third out.

Lisa's presence affected my perception of the strip too. Bathing in the neon glow of the bars and the clubs we found ourselves jostling with rowdy gangs of youths shouting and swearing at the top of their voices; we were breathing in the hot fat smells of a thousand and one takeaway meals, and we were forced to endure the constant thump of countless anonymous club tracks. Thanks to Lisa, I suddenly saw Malia with new eyes and felt embarrassed that we had brought her here at all. Everything around us was evidence of both my and Andy's lack of maturity – the exact opposite of the dictionary definition of ‘sophistication'. We were Beavis and Butthead at thirty-five. Grown men in schoolboy trousers. Overgrown teenagers trying desperately to hang on to the last vestiges of our youth. And I realised (albeit too late) that some activities in life, like holidaying in Malia, skateboarding or drinking until you throw up over your shoes, are too youthful for a man this deep into his thirties to participate in without looking like a fool.

‘Let's try this place.' Lisa came to a halt as if she had overheard my thoughts and was now desperate to compound my shame. ‘It looks like fun.'

‘Are you sure?' replied Andy, staring at Pandemonium's eye-catching neon sign. ‘I mean, it looks a bit tacky, don't you think?'

‘Cheesy, yes,' corrected Lisa. ‘Tacky? No. What does everyone else think?'

‘I don't mind,' said Tom.

Lisa looked at me expectantly, but I had long since given up trying to hide how I was feeling.

‘Right then,' said Lisa, ‘Pandemonium it is then.'

Pandemonium hadn't changed since we were last there. The music was still loud, the bar was still packed and the waitresses still wearing very little. We set up camp in the same seats that we had occupied on our first night, Tom and I facing the bar and Andy and Lisa sitting opposite. A bunny-girl waitress came and took our drinks orders and once they arrived we tried several times to start a group conversation but soon tired of yelling over the music. Out of necessity, then, Lisa and Andy fell into their own private conversation while Tom and I fell into our own.

‘It's like history repeating itself,' said Tom as he looked up at the TV screen above his head showing highlights of the day's test match. ‘At least tonight should be less eventful than last time.'

‘Maybe,' I replied.

‘What do you mean, “maybe”?' asked Tom looking at me suspiciously. ‘You're not going to start something tonight are you?'

I took a sip of my beer. ‘I really like her, Tom. I really like her.'

‘Lisa?'

I nodded.

‘Do you mean you like her in the same way you “really liked” Donna?' said Tom, playing devil's advocate.

‘That's hardly fair is it?' I responded. ‘I
did
like Donna . . . but she didn't want me. What should I be doing instead? Sitting around crying into my beer?'

‘No,' replied, Tom, ‘but I just don't think Lisa's the answer. Think about it, Charlie, you haven't even spoken to her about last night yet and you're already thinking about rocking the boat with her and Andy.'

I glanced across the table. It seemed too bizarre for words that I could be discussing my feelings for her so openly with her sitting less than three feet away and yet so oblivious.

‘You're absolutely right.'

‘Absolutely right about what?' asked Tom.

I didn't reply. Instead I stood up, walked around to Andy and Lisa's side of the table and tapped them both on the shoulder.

‘All right, mate?' said Andy. ‘What's up?'

‘You're right about me putting some effort into having a laugh tonight. In fact I'm so in the right frame of mind that I actually fancy a dance . . . which is why I was just wondering if I could borrow your girlfriend for a bit.'

Andy laughed. ‘How much have you had to drink? I've never seen you on the dance floor unless you're practically slaughtered.'

‘I know,' I replied. ‘But there's a first time for everything.'

‘In that case you have my full blessing, mate.'

Lisa looked on helplessly as I took her by the hand and led her in the direction of the Pandemonium's packed dance floor. At the last minute, however, I changed direction and instead guided her through some large glass doors to the bar's outdoor patio area where dozens of couples sat at tables talking by candlelight.

‘I'm sorry for dragging you away like that,' I said as we came to a halt next to a row of potted olive trees. ‘I didn't know what else to do.'

‘This is insane, Charlie,' protested Lisa. ‘What if Andy came out here right now?'

‘I know, I know,' I replied, fighting hard the urge to kiss her. ‘But what could I do? I've got to know what last night was about.'

‘It was a mistake,' she said quietly.

‘A mistake?'

Lisa nodded. ‘I wish with my whole heart that it had never happened.'

I walked over to an empty table, sat down and closed my eyes in a bid to block out what was happening. As I squeezed my eyes shut a million and one emotions washed over me.

‘It can't have been a mistake,' I said desperately. ‘I felt something for you last night and I know you did too. I can't have got it that wrong, surely? It wasn't just all in my head.'

‘You're right,' she replied. ‘I think when Andy told me he was flying me over here I was more excited about seeing you than I was him. You were there for me when I needed you. I wanted to be there for you, too. But I took things too far. You're Andy's best friend. I should never have put you in that position.'

‘But you did,' I replied. ‘And even though I'm Andy's friend I don't regret anything about last night.'

‘You and Andy have been friends too long for me to believe you mean that.'

‘You don't need to tell me what's at stake,' I replied. ‘I already know. And maybe Andy will never get over it or maybe he will. But all I know is that it's worth the risk. Last night wasn't just about sex. It was about something more than that. It must have been.'

‘I don't know what to say.'

‘Say you'll leave him.'

I could see from Lisa's face that she hadn't seen that coming. ‘You don't know what you're saying, Charlie.'

‘Maybe not,' I replied. ‘But I know you don't love him.'

There was a long silence.

‘You're right,' she said eventually, ‘I don't, at least not like most people would mean it. We're probably more like a car crash. We're too mangled together to tear apart without doing ourselves some permanent damage.' Lisa paused as a group of girls carrying luminous cocktails came out through the glass doors and filled the patio with cackling laughter.

‘We'd better go back inside, Charlie,' said Lisa, standing up. ‘Andy could start looking for us any second. Are you coming?'

‘You carry on,' I replied. ‘I'll see you in a minute.'

Lisa headed back inside the bar while I looked up into the night sky and contemplated what had just happened. She was right, of course. What had happened was just a messy situation in which some degree of misery was inevitable for everyone involved. But what she didn't know was that she was living on borrowed time, just like I had been with Sarah. Andy was going to leave her and yet she had chosen him over me. This didn't seem right or fair. Once again he was going to walk away with everything he wanted while everyone else cleared up the chaos behind him.

I crossed the patio towards the door back into the bar but stopped when I saw Tom coming the other way.

‘Are you all right?' he asked. ‘When Lisa came back to the table alone I thought something might be up.'

‘She's not going to leave him,' I said succinctly.

Tom sighed. ‘I know it must be tough for you but it's probably for the best.'

‘How can that be true when he's going to leave her anyway?'

‘You don't know that for sure, do you? Andy says a lot of things he doesn't mean. And even if he does, there's no need for you to get involved is there? If he does leave her then maybe there'll be a chance you and Lisa can get together when all this has blown over.'

‘It's not going to blow over,' I replied. ‘Can't you see that? This whole thing is a mess. I didn't mean for it to happen but I don't regret it because it wasn't me who cheated on Lisa in the first place. And it's not me who's planning to leave her when we get back home. And while this might not be the best way for me and Lisa to get together, now it's happened there's no going back. The only thing I regret is all the lies. It's time for me to be honest, Tom. It's time that someone told Andy the truth.'

‘You're not thinking straight,' said Tom grabbing my arm. ‘This is going to cause nothing but trouble. What about Lisa?' Tom increased his grip. ‘You haven't even talked it through with her.'

‘I know all I need to know,' I replied.

When I look back at that moment when I broke free of Tom, stepped back inside the bar and began making my way over to Andy and Lisa, the two things I remember most clearly are the sound of blood rushing to my head and the feeling of urgency fuelling my actions. This was something I needed to do, regardless of the consequences.

‘All right, mate?' Andy grinned as I reached our table. ‘So how was the dance floor?'

‘I wasn't on the dance floor,' I replied much to Andy's confusion. ‘We need to talk.'

‘No, he doesn't,' said Tom, catching up with me. ‘Just ignore him, Andy.' He grabbed me by the arm again and tried to pull me away but I was too determined to carry out my mission to budge an inch.

Lisa flashed Tom a look of concern. ‘Is he all right?' she asked, as though I was unable to speak for myself.

‘
I'm fine
,' I replied. ‘I just need to talk to Andy alone, that's all.'

‘This isn't the time or the place, mate,' said Tom. ‘Why don't you leave it until later?'

‘Leave what for later?' said Andy standing up. ‘I feel like I'm missing out on something. What's this all about?'

‘It's about you,' I said calmly.

Andy's eyes flitted from me to Tom and back again as he tried to weigh up whether this was to do with him and Nina, or something else altogether.

‘Let's take this outside, mate,' said Andy, hedging his bets.

‘You'd like that, wouldn't you?' I replied. ‘Is it because you don't want Lisa to hear what I've got to say?'

‘You'd better watch yourself, Charlie,' warned Andy. ‘You're going too far.'

‘You're wrong,' I replied. ‘I've already gone further than I thought I ever would and now I'm here I'm not going to back down. I've always backed down with you, haven't I? I used to back down with Sarah too. I feel like I've spent my whole life backing down from everything and everyone. But not this time. This time I'm going to stand my ground.'

‘Look, mate,' intervened Tom. ‘I'm begging you, please don't do it. You'll regret it. You know you will. Just leave it and walk away.'

‘I can't, Tom,' I replied. ‘I have to do this.'

‘You have to do what?' said Andy defiantly.

‘Tell you that last night I slept with Lisa,' I replied, facing Andy head on.

Andy didn't say anything for a few moments. He didn't need to as it was all written across his face: the relief of realising that this had nothing to do with Nina, followed quickly by the hurt of a double betrayal, and then finally the anger and indignation of being wronged.

Before he could ask Lisa the question on his lips, she grabbed her bag, and brushed past me and ran towards the entrance to the bar. Pausing only to throw me a look of pure distilled hatred Andy followed after her, while Tom and I stood by in silence.