Within a Captain's Hold (18 page)

But the boy stuck by him. Even when he asked him to put him out of his misery and shoot him.

“I’m not about to waste good pistol shot on you. When we get to port, I’ll get you a fine peg and you can stop complaining long enough to learn how to be a proper cook. Or you can always strap yourself to the bowsprit and be the ugliest maidenhead on the seas.”

No, Jaxon never left him any room for pity. He’d dragged him back into life. Gave him a purpose. He’d saved him. Cookie’d never forget all Jaxon did for him. It went beyond being his captain. Jaxon became kin. A friend. A son.

Cookie sniffled. Dammit all. This was no time to be getting misty. He looked back at the man in the bunk. Jaxon hadn’t moved. Not an inch. Annalise was curled into Jaxon’s chair. Poor lass had worn herself to nothin’. She was a good woman. A real beauty, too. She made him miss his own woman somethin’ fierce.

The
Scarlet Night
was getting close to land. Any time now. Cookie could smell it. The air changed when the wind touched land before it hit the sea. It never failed. Every voyage’s end brought a cravin’ to Cookie’s soul to settle into the ample bosom of his Sarah and stay there forever. How many more battles did he have in him anyway? He’d seen it all, done it all. Mayhap it was time to hang up his cutlass and drink his rum laying in the sand with a fine woman wrapped around him. He had enough gold to finish his days, and then some.

’Course every time his mind got to thinking of leaving the
Scarlet
, his sea leg would start to twitchin’ and he’d be the first one up the gangway. Could be it was true what they said about old dogs. They’d chase their tails ’til they screwed themselves straight into the ground.

Cookie ran a hand over his eyes and scrubbed at his face. He was tired. This woolgathering made him crave his bed more than any sand, rum, or--

A low moan had him turning about.

“Annalise…” Jaxon tried to rise but the shaft of pain that bore through him drove the air from his lungs.

“I wouldn’t be tryin’ that yet, ye damn fool. Lay quiet.” Cookie put a strong hand on his shoulder and held him to the bed.

Jaxon grabbed the man’s arm. “Cookie?”

“Was ye expectin’ the king?”

“Where… Where’s Annalise?”

“She’s asleep in yer chair. Ye’ve put the lass through hell and back. She’s been camped by ye since we dragged yer sorry arse in here near two days ago.”

Two days?
Jaxon could barely keep his eyes open. He struggled against the lure of sleep. “I guess you saved my sorry soul.”

“Let’s just say, we be even.”

“What the hell happened?”

Cookie brought him a cup and helped him drink a few swallows of weak ale. “Bonchette did ye dirty, was gonna shoot ye in the back, but ye turned in time to catch it in yer side. Dug the shot out and stitched ye up. Quinn did the mendin’ on yer shoulder there, so if the scar be ragged, ye be knowin’ who’s to blame.”

“Aye, now I remember. My own deck came up to knock my thick head.”

“Yep, went down like a sack of stones. Least ye did right and made it back to the
Scarlet
after ye shouted orders to scuttle the
Sea Dragon
.”

Jaxon fought the pull of sleep again. “How are the rest? What condition are we in?”

“We be down to a jury mast, movin’ fair at half speed. Some damage top side, but we be high and dry below. We lost six of ours. Eleven more wounded, but none of them worse as you.”

“Six. Who?”

“Bishop, Preston, Willaby, Jacobs, Brisbee, and young Cotter.”

Jaxon shook his head. Cotter was just a wee lad. “Did you see to them proper?”

“’Course.” Cookie returned the cup to its place.

“Good.”

“Jaxon?” Anna threw back the blanket and rushed to his side.

“Annalise.”

“You’re awake.” She lifted his hand and kissed it. “Oh, thank goodness, you’re awake.”

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers.

“And you’re alive.”

“Of course, I’m alive.” He attempted to reach for her, but his wounds stopped him. “Dammit.” He ground his teeth against the searing pain.

She helped ease him back. “No, you must be still.”

Jaxon could feel the sweat breaking out on his face and chest. “Good advice.”

Annalise left his side to bring him brandy. “Here, drink this. It will ease some of your pain.” She held the cup to his lips, easing the liquid into his mouth. “Cookie only had two doses of laudanum. I wish we had more.”

He sighed as the brandy lit a path into his belly, closing his eyes as the warmth spread through him. When he opened them again, Cookie stood behind Annalise.

“Where’s Robbins?”

Cookie turned to the desk and picked up the pistol Jaxon had given Robbins before the battle. “Told me to give this back to ye. Said no more trouble was comin’ yer way. Least not from him.” Cookie returned the small gun to its place in the desk. “Boy’s earned his stripes this sail.”

“That, he has.” Jaxon drank more brandy. The sharp edge of pain was easing, but he was having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. “Go. See to things above. Tell the crew not to spend my share just yet.”

“Aye, Capt’n, I ken be back soon, but I be leavin’ ye in good hands.” To Annalise he said, “Git some more brandy in ’im. If Quinn’s with me when I return, I’ll knock only twice and give ye time to hide yerself away. He be out of the woods, me thinks.”

Annalise poured more brandy. “Thank you, Cookie.”

“No thankin’ me, lass. His livin’ has as much te do with ye as wit the likes of me.”

When Cookie left, Annalise came and knelt beside the bed. She tried to get him to take more brandy, but he refused.

“It will help, Jaxon.”

“It’s muddlin’ my brain.”

She laid a gentle hand upon his cheek. Pale smudges beneath her eyes told him how little sleep she’d had these past days. He hated the worry and fear he saw in her eyes.

“It will help you rest,” she whispered.

“Lie with me.”

“Jaxon.” She shook her head.

“Annalise, come here.” With his good arm, he tugged at her elbow until she set the glass aside and acquiesced.

Moving with great care, she stretched out along his side. The warmth and feel of her soft body caused a sigh to escape him.

After covering them both, she settled into the crook of his shoulder and laid a hand upon his chest. “I was afraid I’d lost you.”

Jaxon turned and laid a kiss onto the softness of her hair.

“When they brought you here, you were so pale and still. I feared I’d never have the chance to tell you how I’ve come to love you.”

His heart surged, and a warm rush filled his limbs. “You love me?”

She nodded against his shoulder. “I do. More every moment.”

“Say it.”

Annalise raised up and gazed at him. Golden eyes told him how she felt before her lips caressed the words. “I love you, Jaxon.”

“No one has ever said those words to me.” His voice cracked.

“Never?”

He shook his head.

Anna ran a hand across the scratch of his unshaven jaw and traced his lip before dipping her head and laying a feathered kiss upon his mouth. “Then I shall have to say it often, won’t I?”

She lay back down and he could once again hold her close to him. The perfect warmth of her body next to his combined with the brandy and his own body’s need for sleep was making it near impossible to keep his eyes open.
I love you, too.
He wanted to whisper it in her ear. Too much brandy made him want to shout it from the crow’s next.
I love you, Annalise.
He loved her more than anyone or anything else in this world, but he ground his teeth against the words.

He wouldn’t say it. Couldn’t let himself dream of a future with her. The dull ache of his wounds reminding him why. This was no life. Not for her. Never for her.

He’d steal this sliver of time. Hold her captive only for him. Ravish her when his body was able. Hoard her love. Fill his heart and mind with her for as long as he could before he had to let her go.
I love you.
His mind repeated those three impossible words until sleep pulled him away.

Over the next twenty-four hours, both Annalise and Cookie poured a great deal of brandy down Jaxon’s throat, as well as making an equal number of threats to keep him in bed. He was determined to push past the pain and weakness. Cookie raved at him. “Ye’ve been shot, ye great stubborn ox. None will speak against ye if ye just let Quinn do the job.”

Annalise showed him patience and gentleness through the worst of it. Last night she’d fallen asleep in his chair. With her feet tucked beneath her, she curled up like a child, her beautiful face surrounded by a riot of brilliant hair.

He loved her more and more with each passing hour, yet each minute forged his determination to protect her from the brutality and ugliness of this world. Thoughts of a life without her, however, burned a dark hole through him more painful than the shot Cookie’d dug out of his side.

The
Scarlet Night
was limping closer to port. There was much to do. Details to see to regarding docking and unloading, but his top priority was seeing Annalise away from the ship without discovery. They made it this far with only Robbins discovering her. Jaxon hoped their luck would hold.

He rose with great care. If he held tight to his wound and moved slowly, perhaps he could be rid of this bed. He swung his legs over the side and stopped to rest. His head was light from days on his back, but the pain in his side had lost some of its sharp, fiery edge.

Feet on the floor, Jaxon used the edge of the alcove to pull himself to standing. His head swam and his legs threatened to abandon him, but he held on. Sweat trickled down his neck.
Hold on there. I can do this. Slow and easy.

He’d get himself dressed and, if his legs held, give himself a shave. Easy. Three full strides to the desk, two more to gather his clothing. His side throbbed, but taking deep breaths was starting to clear his head.

He made it to the desk and the cupboard. Pulling open the drawer made him groan in frustration. Pain flashed anew.

“Jaxon? What are you trying to do?” Annalise was next to him in an instant. “Why are you out of bed?”

“Open this for me. Please. I’m trying to gather my things.” His head swam.

She slipped under his arm, supporting him. “You need to be in bed.”

“No. I must…” His legs began to mutiny. “Let me sit.”

“Can you make it to the chair?”

“Nay…” She buckled under the weight of him and together they slid to the floor.

Frustration, pain and anger roared out of him. “Blast it to hell.”

Annalise was pinned beneath him and valiantly attempting to keep him upright. “Oh, Jaxon, are you all right?”

“No, woman, I am far from all right.” He pulled deep breaths into his lungs to steady his head. “I’m sorry. I’ve no cause to snap at you.” He shifted so he was no longer sitting on her.

She held him. Slipping his head to her shoulder, the sweet smell of her gave him comfort.

“You must try to be patient.”

“How many times in the last days have those words come from you?”

“How many times have you listened to them?”

“All I want to do is put my clothing on.” Jaxon shook his head. “I must be half-dead. I’m lying in your arms thinking about putting my britches
on
.” He pressed a kiss to her neck.

Annalise held his head to her. “Well, you did mention something about not leaving our bedchamber for a month.”

“This wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Let me help you back to bed.” She kissed his hair. “I’ll lay with you.”

“No. Help me up.”

“You need--”

“I need to be on deck.” He raised himself to look at her.

“Jaxon.” She shook her head.

“I am still Captain of the
Scarlet Night
. We are ready to make port and everyone on shore is going to be watching. Bonchette vowed to kill me and my men before he sailed from Port Royal. They’re waiting to see who returns. Try to understand, I can’t show the tiniest bit of weakness, or they’ll pounce upon us like a hawk on a mouse. My crew needs to have confidence in my strength, as well.

“I will be standing on deck when we dock as I have always stood. I’ll leave this ship on my own two feet, and they’ll know we are the victors. The
Scarlet Night
will remain undefeated. I owe it to my ship and my crew.”

Annalise’s gaze held his for a long moment. She set her stubborn chin. “Then, Captain Steele, let’s get you off this floor.”

By the time Cookie arrived with food, Jaxon had washed, dressed, and shaved. He was shaky as hell and Annalise looked like she’d been pulled backward through a knothole. They’d rigged a sling of sorts to hold his arm tightly bound to his side. His body thrummed with a deep, dull ache.

“Well, look at ye.”

“I’ll be needing your help to get on deck.” Jaxon sat at his desk.

“Aye, Capt’n. Shall I just slip ye over the rail, or are ye plannin’ te jump.”

“Do I look like I’m of a mood for your jests?”

“Nay, ye look like ye’ve just come off a two-week drunk.” Cookie handed him a bowl of thick broth and a hunk of hard bread. “Eat some. It ain’t much, but each man offered up his last ration of dried beef for ye. Should help give ye back a bit of yer strength.”

Cookie offered a bowl to Annalise, but she shook her head. “No. The men gave that to their captain. He needs it far more than I.”

“You’ve got to keep your strength up too.”

“I’m fine with this.” She held up a bit of bread.

“Tell the crew…no, I’ll tell them myself.” Jaxon spooned some of the soup. “How far from Port Royal do you figure we are?”

“Quinn believes we should sight land anytime now.”

“That would put us at dock before sunset. We’ll need to revise the plan to get Annalise off the ship.”

Cookie agreed. “Don’t ya worry. I got it figured.” He looked toward Anna. “Ye’ll only need hide one more time, but it may be a bit of a wait.”

“I’ll do whatever I need to do.”

“Good lass. Once we dock, Quinn will come to pull the bounty chests. He’ll take longer than a toothless bitch chewing a cow, I’m sure.” He shrugged toward Jaxon, “but ye’ll be here to oversee. I’ll be off hirin’ a cart for ye. After Quinn’s counted every coin, we’ll move ye out.”