Words Heard in Silence (68 page)

"I am glad that you have. For I am thinking that the reward of bringing this little one into the world," she patted her belly, "will be for me to rejoin my darling Henry. If God does grant me that dearest gift, I hope you and the General will raise my children as loving, devout and honorable people."

"Constance, I know you are not feeling well, but there is always hope."

Constance looked at Rebecca and smiled gently. "My dear, you really do not understand. Without Henry, my life is a torment of pain and aching loss. This child is just a small part of that. More than anything, I am without the other half of my soul. The hope, for me, is to be with Henry again. With you and Charlie to look after my children, I can go to him with no regrets, for I know they will have a far better life than I could ever give them now. They will be loved, cared for, and raised as your own. So yes, I have hope. I have hope that this pain, this empty aching that plagues me day and night, will be eased."

Rebecca fought hard not to cry. She blinked away the tears that filled her eyes and took Constance's hand. "I promise you, with my heart and soul, that if you should join your dear Henry, Charlie and I shall give the children the best upbringing possible. But I have a request of you."

"What is that, dear Rebecca?"

"I would ask you to write a letter to each of the children, telling them of yourself and of Henry. Then when they are older and the time is right, I will see to it they are given the letters. While Charlie and I will love and raise them as our own, I believe it will be important for them to know they had parents who loved and cared for them."

"Of course, and Rebecca, you and Charlie are their parents as much as I ever was. For this little one, I believe you will be far more of a parent than I ever could be, even if I survive. I would request that if the price of this child coming into the world is that I pass on, you raise him or her as your own, as if the child were born of your body, not mine."

"As you wish. I promise."

"Rebecca, you are not understanding, are you?"

She shook her head. "Apparently not."

"Think about how you feel with Charlie. What if Charlie was never coming back? How would you feel?

"I have been trying not to think of that very thing lately. I would be devastated."

"Think of what I have lost, dear. My beloved husband, the other half of my soul, my home, my family. Think of how you would feel if Charlie were killed. All I have left is Em and the child of my rapists. The child will come into the world, and I will pass out of it. As far as I can tell, God decided to keep me around for a while so the children would have the home and family and love they deserved. Otherwise, I should have died the night that Montgomery and his men visited. So know, as I know, Charlie will survive. He is meant to be the father to these children."

With those words came the end of Rebecca's control. Tears flowed from her eyes as she stood and gave Constance a gentle hug. "We will love them and raise them as you and Henry would have. We will give them a good life."

J
ocko whistled as he rode up to the little house on the edge of the little village of Alanthus. He was looking forward to calling on the lovely Esther White. After that first visit with Charlie when she had approached him to ask for help, he had called on her a number of times. In fact, he visited her whenever he could get a day off, which lately had not been very often. If he left just after morning chores, he made it to her house by late morning, could spend time and have lunch and tea, then return to the farm in good time. He was looking forward to lunch today, as she was a dedicated and skilled cook.

There was a thin trail of smoke coming from one of the two chimneys in her small cottage. In this weather, she should have had both fireplaces going. Jocko looked around, concerned that perhaps she was conserving firewood since he had not checked her woodshed in several days. As he rode by, he looked. There was plenty of wood in the shed.

He got to the door and tethered his mount to the fence railing. Usually, by now she would be at the door to greet him. He hurried to the door and knocked. A faint voice answered him.

She sat huddled beside the single fire, staring listlessly into the flickering flames. She had been beaten. Her hands shook. Her eyes were dull with pain and shame. Her clothing was ripped. To Jocko’s war hardened eyes, it was obvious. She had been raped.

His first reaction was anger, which he quickly swallowed. She needed his gentleness now, not his anger.

"Esther, dear, it is Jocko."

"Go away." She did not turn to look at him. "I cannot see you any more."

"Esther. Who did this to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Esther, who beat you?" He took a deep breath and asked the obvious question. "Who raped you?"

She laughed without humor. "One of the men who came out here to fill our wood sheds. Davison, I think his name was. He had two friends. This is what I get for letting you Yankees take care of me. They came back, they said, to collect for the work they had done."

"Davison." Jocko clenched his fists. The name fell into the void between them. "Esther, General Redmond expelled him from the army about a month ago and sent him home. He is no longer a soldier. We thought he had left the area. All we can do now is to find him, arrest him, and deal with him. But first, my dear, I need to get you to a doctor."

"No. Leave me."

"Esther, I cannot leave you. I love you." Jocko said the words without thinking. He had never said them to a woman in his life, except for his mother. Yet he knew they were true as he heard them leave his mouth. "Let me take you to Dr. Walker. She will help, I promise."

Esther White nodded numbly. She moved like a puppet as he scurried around collecting a change of clothes and some other odds and ends, banked the fire, and then wrapped her in a warm quilt and carried her outside. Gently he lifted her up into the saddle and pulled himself up behind her. Carrying her battered body in his arms, he set out for what he was beginning to think of as home.

C
harlie walked up the steps to Lizzie Armstrong's Capitol Hill mansion at the socially unacceptable hour of 7:00 pm. He hoped to catch her before the evening's festivities started and convince her to assist him in braving the unknown world of feminine finery. Tucking his hat under his arm, he knocked on the door.

A very proper butler responded with a superior look on his face. No one who was anyone would knock on the door this early.

"Good evening, Sir. Whom may I say is calling?"

"Good evening. Would you please tell Mrs. Armstrong that Charlie Redmond would appreciate a moment of her time?"

The butler left Charlie standing in the hall, waiting, instead of showing him to a parlor.

Lizzie came down the steps, not even trying to hide the smile on her face at the appearance of her favorite companion. "General Redmond, you dear man." She took the last two steps to the landing and threw her arms around Charlie, bestowing on him a passionate kiss. "I heard of your promotion. Congratulations."

"Uh..." Charlie was captured in the woman’s arms, yet struggled gently to disengage her embrace. "Lizzie, I need your help, and you and I really need to talk. I have some news..."

"Oh, I am sure you do. It has been months, Charlie. Come on upstairs, we can talk up there."

"Can we go to your parlor, Lizzie?"

"The parlor? A bit public for your usual tastes." She chuckled and took his arm.

"Lizzie, dear friend. Perhaps you had better hear my news before we go any farther."

The woman sighed and smiled. She knew her General was an odd bird at times. Taking his hand, she walked to the parlor. "All right Charlie, what is your news? Let me guess, you have decided after the war to come back here, sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this."

Charlie had the grace to blush. "Actually, Lizzie, I have met someone."

"Oh." She tried to mask her disappointment. Over the years, as she had come to know Charlie, she had come to care for him very much, if not love him more than a little. "I see. Congratulations."

"I wanted to tell you personally, dear friend, because if you had not taken me in hand, I would never have had the courage to find my mate. I owe you a greater debt than I can ever repay."

"Well, I am happy for you, General." She took a seat on the davenport and tried to give him a sincere smile. "She is a very lucky lady."

Charlie looked at Lizzie. He knew that something was wrong, but had no idea what it was. "So, my dear friend, something seems to be bothering you. Can I help?"

"No, Charlie. I must admit this is a bit of a surprise." She patted the sofa. "Come sit and tell me of your lady." She got up and moved to a small brandy cabinet. "Your usual?"

"Yes, thank you. Lizzie, her name is Rebecca, and she has a horse farm down in Culpeper. She is the most delightfully spunky woman I have ever met, courageous, strong, sure of herself - and so kind and gentle."

Lizzie poured the drink, trying to gain control of her emotions. It would not do for a woman in her position to show concern over this. Picking up two glasses she settled back down next to Charlie, handing him one of the glasses. "Well, now she sounds like she has completely captured your heart, Charlie."

"She has, Lizzie, she has," he paused, "she knows, you know. She wants…… me."

The woman smiled and took Charlie's hand. "I am glad, dear Charlie, truly glad. I am sure she is a special lady. You know, though, if you ever find yourself wanting, I will always be here for you."

Something in Lizzie's voice caught Charlie's attention. "Lizzie?" He looked into her eyes. "What is wrong, Lizzie."

She looked away for a moment then looked back. "I suppose now is as good a time to confess as any. I have always been just a little in love with you, Charlie. I know a woman such as myself could never be a proper wife to someone of your standing. But there were nights, after you had been here, that I would lie wake and wonder about you and harbor just a little bit of a dream."

"Why, Lizzie? Why did you stay quiet?"

"Charlie, look at what I am. I could never have gotten past this. I am a lovely distraction, a convenience. I am not the type of woman a man would make his wife."

"I am not the type of man a woman would make as her husband. We could have talked about it. I am truly sorry."

"You had no way of knowing. But you have found someone and I am happy for you."

"Thank you, my dear. You know if there is anything you ever need, you have only to call on me."

"Oh no, Charlie. It would not do for me to come into contact with this lady of yours. I doubt she would appreciate me as much as you do."

"Rebecca would understand my giving assistance to nyone who is my friend. I have told her a little about you, you know."

"Oh, Charles Redmond, you have not!"

"She asked me what I had done for companionship. I told her. I also told her how kind and what a good friend you are."

"Oh lovely. Charlie, you know as well as I do that gentlemen do not speak of me to wives and sweethearts. I cannot believe you did that."

"Lizzie, she asked and I answered honestly. That is what our relationship is built on - our ability to be truly honest with one another."

"That is a very interesting relationship." She smiled and sipped her brandy.

"Lizzie, you know what I am. How can I be anything other than totally honest and still hope to have a relationship that will last?"

"This is true. So she knows? I did not think you let most people know your secret, Charlie. I thought I was one of only a handful."

"You are, my dear. But I think that if one is going to have a relationship that works for life, honesty is important. She knew the day she met me."

Lizzie chuckled. "She is clearly a very perceptive woman as well. It took me what, a month before you told me? So tell me, what are your plans?"

"I want to marry her before I go back into battle. That is actually one of the reasons why I called on you. I need your help."

"My help? How could I possibly help you?" She smiled and raised her brows. "A tutoring session for the wedding night maybe." She winked and squeezed his thigh, letting her finger track gently up and down it, as she knew he liked.

Charlie quietly captured her hand with his own, stilling those distracting strokes. "I was actually hoping for something more prosaic. I have a list of things that she wants me to get for the wedding, and I do not even begin to understand it. I went to the haberdasher’s on G Street today and found I needed to make a strategic withdrawal and get myself some reinforcements. I was hoping you would be my guide?"

She stifled a laugh and took Charlie's hand. "Yes, of course, my dear man, I will be very happy to help you with anything you need." She moved closer and placed a kiss on his cheek, before whispering in his ear. "Anything."

"Ah, well, then, shall I call for you tomorrow morning?"

"If I cannot convince you to stay the night. Really, Charlie, you are not married yet. And even then, you know most of my customers have wives at home."

Charlie smiled gently. "I know, Lizzie. Believe me, I do appreciate the offer. But I have promised her my heart, my soul, my honor and my body. And as much of a temptation as you offer, I know you would not have me break my oath."

"Of course not. You are the most honorable gentleman I have ever met. I would ask you to do nothing to sacrifice that."

"I shall not. Then, dear, I know your livelihood depends on your ability to be a wonderful hostess, so I will not take you away from that tonight. Shall I call at noon tomorrow?"

"That would be fine, Charlie." She took his hand and caressed it with her cheek, her eyes closing slowly. "I am going to miss you, Charlie."