Worth the Trouble (19 page)

"Good God, Roxanne," he
whispered weakly, then groaned when she put an open mouth kiss at his hipbone, before kissing across his waist to the other side and repeating the process.  Ethan was hard, and ready to be inside of her, but he was too wrapped up in trying to anticipate what she would do next to stop her.

She scooted down a little then met his eyes.  G
rabbing his calves, she spread them apart then moved between his legs, and told him nervously, "I haven't ever done this before, so just tell me if something doesn't feel good."

Ethan's heart shot up into his throat and stuck there as h
er hot breath brushed over his dick and he went as hard as he'd ever been in his life.  "You don't have to do that, sweetheart," he told her in a choked voice.

She looked up at him.  "You don't like it?" she asked with insecurity in her gray eyes.

"Hell yes, I like it, but I don't want you doing something you're uncomfortable with."

"I want to," she murmured
with a soft smile, before she bent over him and kissed the tip of his cock then her tongue darted out to lick him. 

Ethan growled and his hands shot out to grasp her head.

She looked at him with concern.  "Did I hurt you?"

He huffed a couple of
breaths then released his grip on her head.  "No," he choked out then laid back on the blanket and closed his eyes.  How he was going to survive this without exploding, Ethan didn't know. 

She took him in her hand and stroked him, licking around the head of his cock.  His fists tangled in the blanket and he ground his teeth to endure the sensual torture.  Her hand moved lower on his shaft, then
her hot mouth closed over him.

Ethan threw back his head
and moaned, "Oh, God...so good," as waves of sexual energy rushed through his veins to drug his brain. 

Her hand moved lower to cup him and
her lips slid down over him, before she started an excruciatingly slow rhythm, her tongue sliding up and down the underside of his cock as she moved. 

Involuntarily, h
is hips moved with her mouth and incredible tension built inside of him.  Right on the edge of a mind blowing orgasm, Ethan sat up and grabbed the sides of her head. 

Her
swollen lips slid off of him, and she licked them then looked up at him in confusion.  He pulled her to him and she whimpered when he slammed his mouth over hers, grinding his mouth into hers, drawing out every ounce of the magic that was left there.

Without breaking the kiss, s
he straddled his thighs, lifted so he fitted perfectly with her opening, then eased down slowly taking the tip of his cock inside her body.  A shiver moved through her, then she rotated her hips, almost sending him to heaven.   His fingers dug into her hips, and he pushed her away. 

"Condom," he said in a hoarse whisper, then patted the b
lanket beside him to find it to quickly sheath himself. 

Roughly, he shoved her onto the blanket then slid his arm under her leg, lifting it to his hip, before he plunged into her
.  Incredible heat and warmth surrounded him, and he closed his eyes to savor it.   

"So good, baby..." he ground out then looked down at her.  In the light from the full moon, he could see excitement on her face, but discomfort too.

"Are you okay?" he asked, starting to pull back, but her leg tensed around him, holding him there. 

"I'm fine,"
she told him with a half smile then lifted her hips to encourage him.  "Love me, Ethan," she invited in a shy whisper.

It would be all to easy to love this woman, he thought
, as he pushed forward and set a slow steady rhythm watching her face to make sure he wasn't hurting her.  He hoped he never hurt her, but he was afraid that was going to happen. 

I
f he could get the Captain's job in Henrietta, Ethan wasn't going to be in Amarillo. Guilt tried to cut through the sexual haze surrounding him, but he pushed it aside.  Getting that job wasn't a given, and he was into living in the here and now after his accident, sucking the marrow out of each and every day he was alive. 

Making love to Roxanne Baker was definitely marrow sucking.
 

Shoving all other thoughts to the back of his mind,
Ethan focused only on bringing her to another release and finding his own.  When her body vibrated under him, her inner muscles clutched him tightly, and he tumbled right behind her into the most apocalyptic orgasm he'd ever had in his life.

Before the sun came up the next morning, he had made love to her twice more, each time more frantic, because he knew it could be their last, maybe forever. 

Sunlight in his eyes woke him, and he looked down and found her snuggled up to him, her head resting on his chest, her arm draped across his waist.  H
er face was covered by a mass of tangled blonde hair, so he couldn't tell if she was awake or not. 

Ethan kissed the top of her head and a warm sensation spread inside his chest.  She stirred and grumbled, the
n shot up, her arm brushing across her face to move her hair.  "Oh, God, what time is it," she groaned.

"The rooster has crowed.  Heard him a few minutes ago," he lied with a laugh.

"Lord, I've got to go feed, the other hands will be up soon and ready to head out."

He squeezed her to him, then said, "Good morning to you too,
Sunshine.  Last night was...incredible," he told her and kissed her forehead.

Rocky looked at him and her eyebrows creased,
before a wide smile spread over her face like the sun coming up over the trees.  "It was world rocking, wasn't it?"

"Damn, straight," he growled then pulled her to him for a hot
good morning kiss.

"Mmm..." she murmured but tapped his shoulder then pushed up to her knees.  "As much as I'd love to stay here
for another round, we have to go," she told him, her voice gravelly from sleep.  "Come on."

Ethan shaded his eyes from the sun, and put a hand over his stomach when it rumbled.  He heard her rustling around packing stuff up.  With a deep
breath and a sigh, he lifted his arm then sat up with a grunt. 

Every muscle in his body ached, pleasantly.  He even welcomed the back ache.  If what led to his discomfort was like that every time, he would gladly suffer through it.

"Can you help me up, baby?" he asked when he couldn't seem to get his legs under him.  He tried again, then grunted and fell back on the blanket. 

His legs were weak as a newborn colt, and that's exactly what he felt like.  Maybe sleeping on the
cold hard ground all night hadn't been such a good idea.  The next time they made love, he wanted it to be in a bed. 

Ethan leaned over and grabbed his jeans and underwear at the edge of the blanket, shook them out then carefully slid them on and buttoned them.

"Yeah, just a sec," she told him from over by the lake.

Ethan glanced
at Rocky and saw she was stepping into her shorts, and watched them slide up her long legs longingly.  She sat down on a rock to put on her tennis shoes and tie them, then looked up at him.  "You having trouble getting up this morning, old man?" 

Her sexy teasing grin grabbed him by the balls
and made him want to throw her back on that blanket and love her until the moon came up again.  Getting up she sashayed over to the blanket then dropped his dirty boots and shirt onto the blanket, before holding her hand out to help him up.

With a
snort, he told her, "I never have trouble getting up when you're around, sweetheart," then hid a grimace behind a tight smile when another spasm hit him in the center of his back as he grabbed her hand to get up.

What the hell was going on with his back
, he wondered. 

Ethan was afraid maybe he had taken his progress for granted
by coming out here, by making love to her so enthusiastically, then sleeping on the cold bank of a lake afterward. 

Stupid
, he chastised himself fighting hard to maintain his balance.

He'd go see
Tara when he got back to the house for a massage, then maybe soak in the whirlpool and take a day off from working out.

Roxanne
bent over and grabbed the tackle box, cooler and rods.  His fishing rod was probably lost forever to the lake.  Hopefully the huge catfish had broken the line.

"I
'm excited," she told him as she stood.  With a grin, she explained, "Wes is coming out today to check on Chancey.  I'm going to tell him how good you're doing, and that you really want to join the team.  I'll ask him again, tell him you're ready now.  I'll let you know what he says."

Guilt flooded Ethan
, because if he got the Captain's job in Henrietta, he wouldn't be joining that search team.  Her efforts to convince Wes to let him join would be wasted, because if he was offered the chance to return to firefighting, there was no question he was going to take it.

Twice now,
Wes had turned her down when she asked him about Ethan joining the team, because Ethan's mobility had been as iffy as his horseback riding skills when she asked.  Her asking Wes again now, telling him Ethan was excited about joining and ready for it, was putting herself on the line with her friend. 

But Ethan wanted to keep the option of joining the search team open, in case he didn't get the
Captain's job, even though he knew if he was accepted on the team then left, Rocky would look like an idiot. 

Maybe he could buy some time to prevent that, if he could convince her to wait to talk to Wes for another week or so.

"Um, why don't you wait on that for a little while.  I probably need a few more lessons," he improvised, hoping she would agree with him.

"The
orientation class is next week, Ethan.  Unless I get him to agree to put you on the team now, you won't make it, and the class is mandatory," she told him with a frustrated breath.

And unless
Ethan told her what his reason for waiting was, she wasn't going to let it go.  So, even though he knew he was being a chickenshit coward, Ethan screwed his face into what he hoped was a smile and said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome.  Now let me go put this stuff in the truck, and I'll come back to help you," she told him then jogged up the slight incline toward the truck.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Dad, I want to apply for the Captain's job," Ethan told his father, the current Henrietta Fire Chief, holding his gaze steadily.  "I think I could do a good job...I know I could."

After his doctor's appointment in town,
Terri had dropped him off at the fire station to say hello to the guys, while she went to meet a friend from the hospital for lunch.  A mix of emotions flitted over his father's weathered face, surprise first, then pride, but that was followed quickly by concern.  Nothing less than Ethan expected.

"Son, I couldn't think of anyone better to replace me, but the accident was a deal changer all the way around," he told Ethan then leaned back in his chair and tented his fingers,
propping his elbows on the arms of the chair.

"I'm getting better every day
, working hard in the gym.  By the time you retire, I promise I'll be back to capacity."

"Ethan, can you run a mile?"

"Not yet, sir," he replied, but added confidently, "I'm walking two miles a day on the treadmill, though.  It won't be long, befo--"

"Can you climb a ladder?"

"Not yet, but my leg strength is a lot better.  I'll start working the ladder next week."  Since his visit to the doctor, he didn't know how he would pull that off, but he was going to try like hell to get there.

"Can you lift
a hundred pounds, son?"

Ethan huffed out a relieved breath then replied
with an arrogant snort, "Yeah, I can do that."

"And carry that
weight a hundred yards?"

There was no way in hell he could pull that one off, and his dad knew it. 
Ethan didn't know if he'd ever be able to do that again.  There were able-bodied firefighters he'd be leading who could do that, so it shouldn't be a problem for him as Captain.

"No, sir," he
answered with a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.

"Son, do you r
ealize even though I'm old and not in the shape I used to be in, I have to meet agility standards every year to continue to be Chief?"

Blood rushed to Ethan's face and he stuttered.  "Um, no I didn't realize that."

"They give me a lot of rope timewise to do the tests, and cut me some slack, but you're a young man, they are not going to give you that latitude.  They'll expect you to be as physically fit as the other young guys."

"I can get there, dad," he pleaded then
begged, "Just give me a little more time.  Delay your retirement for a few months."

Not getting at least a chance at this job would be just about the worst blow he could imagine.  He had gotten his hopes up, built
up the possibilities in his mind...and he'd worked his ass off to get back on his feet.

"There's something else
you need to know..." his dad said then his eyes darted away to the door then back to him.

"What?" Ethan asked needing just one more reason he couldn't be a fireman again to send him over the edge.

"Something is going on around here."

"Something is always going on around here," Ethan shot back.  "What's up
now?"

"No, this is bad, Ethan.  I didn't tell you when I found out, because I hoped the fire investigator was wrong."

"Spit it out, dad," he grated.

Chief Cassidy sat forward and leaned his elbows on
the desk, then pinned Ethan with serious eyes.  "Someone on this crew tried to kill you the night of that fire.  They could have killed us all, including that kid and her father."

"
That's
bullshit
, Cap, and you know it!" Ethan shouted jumping from his chair to lean on the desk.  "These guys are my friends, nobody would try to kill me, that's ridiculous!"

His dad's eyes shot to the door again
, then he hissed, "Sit down, Ethan, and keep your voice down."

Ethan stared down his dad
for a second, then ground out, "Yes, sir," before he dropped back in the chair.  Running a hand through his hair, he said, "I'm sorry, Cap."

"Now, listen to me..." his dad said and leaned closer, his voice getting lower.  "When we got on scene, Booker went and made sure the propane line was shut off to th
e house.  The fire investigator found that not only was the valve wide open, the line had been cut.  There was propane all over the place out there.  That place was in the damned boonies, so there was nobody else out there to do that other than one of our men."

Ethan snorted,
then grumbled. "That's just unbelievable," but he was listening, because his father and the fire investigator were right.  Nobody else had been out there that night except the fire crew.

"I agree,
and I didn't want to believe it when he told me either, but there's no other explanation.  That's what caused the explosion, son.  The timing of the explosion was just too coincidental for it not to be you they were trying to hurt.  You were the only one left on the roof.  I also told the investigator about the other close calls you've had recently, the respirator malfunction, broken axe incident.  He thinks they might be related."

"Why me?"
Ethan asked flipping through the names of all the guys on the crew in his mind, men he had worked with day in and out, lived with while he was on shift.  None of them that he could think of would ever do something like that to him.  None of them had a reason that he could think of.  He got along with them all like they were his brothers.

"We haven't figured that out yet, but the investigator is talking to everyone who was at the fire that night.  He'll need to talk to you too."

"When?" Ethan asked. 

"I thought you could stay over tonight at the house, and drive your truck back to
Amarillo tomorrow.  The investigator said he could be here tomorrow morning."

Ethan
had the search and rescue class tomorrow with Rocky at the Ranger post in Lubbock.  Since it looked like he wasn't getting the job here, he had to make it.

"I have something I have to do tomorrow, Cap."

"Cancel it, this needs to be done, Ethan," his dad told him firmly.  "I want this settled before my retirement party on the thirtieth.  I'm not leaving this hanging out there for the new Chief.  He doesn't need to worry about trusting his men, and you don't need to worry about someone coming after you again."

Ethan shook his head
in disbelief.  Half of those guys on the crew he had trained, or helped train.  "Unbelievable," he murmured feeling betrayed, totally stunned.

The tones sounded
loudly echoing through the station, signaling a fire call for their battalion.  The sweet music of the alarm sent adrenaline rushing through his veins and out of habit, Ethan pushed up out his chair and quickly headed for the door.  His dad's hand on his shoulder stopped him, and Ethan nodded then took a step back to let his dad pass through the door. 

Watching his buddies pull on their fire gear and load the engine through the glass window in his dad's office was surreal.  Ethan felt lost and out of place
, and he needed to face it.  This wasn't his life anymore, probably would never be again.  Depression slammed into him nearly rocking him on his feet. 

Terri came bouncing down the hallway and
Ethan stumbled out of the office to meet her.  She smiled brightly and asked him, "You say your hellos?"

"Didn't have a chance to talk to anyone but dad," he told her morosely.

"And?  Did he talk some sense into you?" she asked putting a hand on her hip.

"
Didn't have to.  I don't have a snowball's chance in hell at the Captain's job," Ethan informed her then he added sarcastically, "But you tried to tell me that didn't you?"

"I thought you might get it, Ethan.  That's why I was pissed," she told him with a frustrated huff.  "I need you at the ranch."

"Well I
need
to be a fireman," he spat, then told her, "But it looks like you got yourself a ranch medic, sis.  I don't have any choice, but to take that job now." 

With anger
and despair almost choking him, Ethan held onto the wall and walked past her toward the front door.  His chest hurt, and he could barely breathe.

Terri walked beside him and asked, "You ready to head back to the ranch?  Joel is having some of the guests up to the house for a special dinner tonight.  I need to talk to Penny," she told him
impatiently.  He went to shove through the firehouse door, but her small hand on his arm stopped him.  "Ethan are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay, Terri...can you drop me at mom's?  I'll drive
my truck back to the ranch tomorrow."

"What happened?  You were excited about coming here this morning..." she said and huffed out a breath.

"It was a mistake," he told her flatly. 

One in a long line of mistakes he'd made since his accident. 
Believing he could make himself useful again if he worked harder in the gym was his first.  That had resulted in the doctor telling him at his appointment that he was pushing his recovery too hard and needed to slow down or he might reinjure himself.

His second was t
hinking he could get the Captain's job, which had resulted in him having to accept the fact that he was never going to be a fireman again.  Then finding out one of the men he worked with had tried to kill him had about knocked him flat on his face. 

Believing they were his friends had almost cost him his life.
 

All
big
mistakes, but not the biggest.

His greatest mistake was having sex with Roxanne and not telling her what his plans were
before it happened.  There was no way the woman could miss the fact that he had been avoiding her since they made love by the lake a week ago. 

He had felt guilty, and he didn't want to face her questions, so he had avoided her like the coward he was.  Ethan also knew if he was around her, they would make love again, and he couldn't do that to her, knowing that he might be leaving.  Once was bad enough.

She probably hated him and thought he used her now, which wasn't too far from the truth.  He'd been a selfish, self-serving bastard.

Ethan knew his time had run out, Rocky would demand answers
when he got back to the ranch, would have demanded them before he left this morning, if he had stopped by the barn like she'd asked him to.  Those answers would probably seal the deal on their fledgling relationship, and he was going to be stuck at the ranch seeing her day in and out, but not being able to touch her again.

"I don't want to leave you like this,
I'm worried about you," Terri replied frowning.

He shoved through the door into the bright morning light and squinted
to find her truck, which was of course parked at the back of the lot. 

"Stop mothering me, Terri.
  I just want to be left the fuck alone," he ground out and started toward the truck.

It took him forever to get t
o the truck, and when finally made it, he felt like the old man that Rocky had teased him about being.  Flinging open the truck door, he grabbed the overhead handle to muscle himself up into the cab.  With an angry click he put on his seatbelt and folded his arms over his chest, hoping his sister would get the message that he didn't want to be messed with.

Without a word or glance, Terri
opened her door, got behind the wheel then cranked the truck and threw it into drive.  She must've gotten the message, because she drove them the short distance to their parent's house, also without a word. 

When the
truck stopped at the curb, Ethan didn't wait to see if she would start in, he yanked his door handle, punched the seatbelt open, then slid out the truck and slammed the door behind him.

***

As her Grandma Nell used to say, Ethan Cassidy had been as scarce as tits on a boar hog since the night at the lake, which told her everything she needed to know. 

Ethan had used her, Rocky was sure of it now. 

She didn't have any problems seeing things clearly now.  The fog of happiness which had dissipated more with each day that passed since she'd seen him had completely cleared today.  Watching the dust behind the truck when he and Terri left for his doctor's appointment in Henrietta this morning, she realized what a fool she had been.

He had fed her a line of bullshit the night at the lake
to sleep with her, pure and simple, and she had swallowed it hook, line and sinker, then he had reeled her in. Even the hard to get act was probably calculated to chum the waters to make it happen.

I won't be doing that anymore, so you don't have to worry about me coming on to you again.  If you decide you want me too, you'll have to do the chasing, darlin'
.

Brilliant, she thought, impressed by the level of his smooth talking
and treachery.  Ashton had
nothing
on this man, he was a rank amateur.  Ethan however was a master at it, and she had definitely been taught a valuable lesson for trusting him.  He had conned her so well with his act, followed through so well on his plan, that by the night at the lake she had been determined to have him come hell or high water.