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Authors: D.H. Starr

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Wrestling With Desire

by D.H. Starr

Scott I'd meet him at the cafeteria. He might already be there."

"You think he went to the
cafeteria
for lunch? Good thinking, Derek. Don't know why that idea didn't cross my mind." Derek laughed, his nerves loosening up even more.

What's wrong with me? I never get like this.
He shook off his nerves, trying to rid himself of this unpleasant, new sensation.

When they arrived at the cafeteria, Scott was waiting for them by the entrance where most of the senior class had already convened and formed a line. Smiling broadly, Derek could feel his gut clench and his knees wobble.
Get a fuckin'

grip
. Approaching Scott, Derek was able to take in his full physique. He was taller than Derek and leaner, not quite as athletic, but still nice to look at.

"Hey Derek. And Rebecca, right?"

"Yes, but please call me Beck. All my friends do." She placed a hand on his arm to direct him towards the end of the line. "So, how is your first day going?"

"'S not so bad. The classes seem like they're going to be interesting. No repeat stuff of what I've studied before. That is a problem sometimes when you move around. Different school systems cover things at different times. The teachers seem cool and none of the kids have appeared to be overly interested in staring at the new kid, which is a relief." Scott fell into an easy and comfortable conversation with Beck as if they had been friends for years. Derek admired Scott's complete lack of reserve, something that he himself struggled with.

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Beck listened attentively, something that Derek was sure required a bit of energy on her part. When there was a brief lull in the conversation, she commented, "So, Derek tells me that you were on your wrestling team in, where was it, Idaho?"

"Iowa, actually. Yes, I was on the team. Derek was telling me that the team here has been getting pretty good. I hope I have a chance to make the varsity line up. Derek, do you know if the 167 pound weight class is open this year?"

It took Derek a minute to realize that Scott had asked him a question and then another couple of seconds to register what the actual question was.
Come on Derek, don't make a
complete ass of yourself on the first day
. "Um, the 167 weight class spot was Dylan Chase, who was a senior last year.

There are a couple of guys on the team who are vying for the spot, but it's open. Once the season begins, coach will begin the process of lining up challenges for the team to secure spots. We don't automatically get our spots each year though.

We have to earn them through inter-team challenges. I wrestle at the 135 pound weight class and I know for a fact that Bobby Dean is planning on challenging me this year."

"Cool, we did it that way in Iowa as well. I guess most teams do. But I'm glad that the spot is currently unclaimed because it doesn't help you make friends if you uproot someone who has already had the spot on the team." Scott's mouth curved up in the same crooked grin that Derek had noticed earlier and the sight sent his blood south of the border. If Derek didn't get a grip on himself, this was going to be a very long and embarrassing lunch.

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by D.H. Starr

Derek's attention was suddenly jerked from studying Scott's profile by a subdued gasp from Beck. "Look at who that cow is having lunch with." She was referring to Malinda.

"She's sitting with Bryce O'Neill and George Davis." Turning to Scott, she gripped his arm and began to fill him in on the drama. "Bryce and George are in the drama club as well.

They are constantly vying for the lead male roles. The drama club faculty sponsor, also the drama teacher, tends to look at the chemistry between the students when casting for parts. I think that is totally unfair since casting decisions should be based on whether a person's personality, look, and abilities match the role, not whether two students seem to get along well. Malinda has never eaten with them before. What is she playing at? I swear, if she thinks she's going to steal my thunder in my senior year when I have put up with three years of waiting my turn while upperclassmen came and went, she has got a serious ass-whipping coming her way."

During her outburst, Beck's normally fair-toned cheeks became cherry red and her typically round, sweet as pie eyes, had become two slits ready to shoot lasers.
Oh boy,
Derek thought
, Scott is getting a taste of Beck in heat, and not the
good kind of heat either. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Scott seemed totally unaffected by her outburst. In fact, a sly smile crossed his lips as he turned to look where Beck was glaring.

"Is that who you are talking about over there? That girl with the stringy, unfortunate, shoulder-length hair with the two guys sitting directly across from each other?"

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"Yes, that is the harpy I am talking about. Why?" Beck's tone was sour and cutting.

"And you say that you think she is trying to get in good with, what are their names again?" Scott asked.

"Bryce and George" she replied acidly.

"And you say that your drama teacher tends to cast people based on their chemistry rather than their appropriateness for the role? Something which I have to say is seriously fucked up." Derek wasn't sure where Scott was going with this, but he noticed that Beck's shoulders, which had nearly been squeezing her ears in tension, had lowered a bit.

"Yes," she said with only a hint of venom remaining in her voice.

"Well, I don't think you have anything to worry about then." He said confidently, staring Beck directly in the eyes.

Beck blinked, opened her mouth as if to protest, closed it, then asked, "Huh? Why do you say that?"

Scott laughed, showing his shining pearly whites and Derek was sure he saw an actual dance of light cross his Caribbean blue-green eyes. "Well, if you look closely, that girl, Harpy was it?"

Beck laughed, "Malinda. What about her?"

"Well, she is talking non-stop
at
them. Look at Bryce and George; they are giving each other side-glances, which, if I'm not mistaken, look like they would rather be chewing on glass than listening to that girl. That means they are either annoyed by her personally, annoyed by her intrusion on their lunch, or both." Scott gave Beck a moment to assess his 25

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observation and then asked, "So, which do you think it is?

Annoyed by her or annoyed by her intrusion?"

Beck turned to Scott, surveyed him for a moment, then replied, "Both I think. You are quite the observer aren't you?

You picked all of that up from a one-minute glance at them?"

"Like I said, I'm used to being a new guy. It teaches you to read people pretty quickly and accurately. I would bet you that in a week she either gives up eating with them or they begin to have conversations with each other and tune her out completely. Either way, it will only help your chances of beating the bitch when you audition for roles this year." Scott crossed his arms over his chest and nodded his head, then refocused on Beck. His assessment of the situation was complete. Derek was awestruck.

Beck slid her arm around Derek and drew him in close so they were both facing Scott. Derek noticed that Scott's eyes briefly glanced at her arm around his waist and then back to Beck. "I
love
him!" She hooked her arm inside Scott's and led both boys into the cafeteria. "You are definitely a keeper.

Let's hurry and get the delicious beef stew. I can't wait for you to try it."

Scott laughed and Derek shook his head. "I already told him the stuff was poison, Beck."

Beck blushed, "Oh, whoops. Nothing personal, Scott, it's just fun to watch the reactions of those who have never had the pleasure of eating the stuff before. Since you are forewarned, I would go for the mac and cheese or for a sandwich. The beef stew really is toxic."

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Wrestling With Desire

by D.H. Starr

Scott thanked her for the suggestion as they entered the kitchen area of the cafeteria to buy their lunches. Once seated, Derek next to Beck and both of them across the table from Scott, Derek settled in to observing the two of them as Beck prattled on about the various students in the room, the winter musical, and her happiness that she was finally at the top of the food chain in the drama club. Scott seemed genuinely interested, asking question after question, which kept her babbling on for the duration of lunch. Every once in a while, he would glance over at Derek with a short chuckle at something Beck had said, and then return his attention to her.

Derek watched the two as they got to know one another. It was the first time all day that he actually felt like himself. It was most likely because he was able to fall into his comfort zone of observing while others did the bulk of the talking.

Since he knew Beck so well, he could spend his time observing Scott. He was a charmer, chuckling when she was relating some of the more embarrassing stories about their classmates or responding with a
No
or
Shut up
when she revealed people's secrets. He maintained direct eye contact with her while she spoke, not allowing his attention to wander around the room and take in what others were doing. This was a skill that Derek had not been able to perfect, mostly because he was so keen on observing others and getting a feel for the whole room so as to know the appropriate response in various situations.

Occasionally, Derek made comments to embellish on points Beck had missed or to cut her off with a jab of his 27

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elbow if she was about to reveal something that was better left unsaid. Talking about the trip they took to Six Flags that summer when Derek had to practically beg her to stop at a service area on Interstate 95 so he could go to the bathroom was one such moment. When he nudged her, she let out a short gasp and said, "
What
? You were desperate for me to stop and I wanted to go another 20 miles so we could get through the New York/New Jersey border. You know how the traffic gets there."

"Yes, but I am sure that Scott doesn't need to hear about this during lunch. Perhaps it would be a more appropriate topic of conversation during, oh, say, never."

Beck stuck her tongue out at Derek then turned to Scott and said, "Sorry. He gets all embarrassed when I tell stories about him."

Scott smiled, revealing his delicious dimple. "No worries. I just count myself lucky that my friends from Iowa aren't here to reveal some of my more sordid moments." When Beck directed a scowling look at the table with Malinda, Bryce, and George, Scott looked Derek directly in the eyes and winked at him, turning back to Beck just as she returned her attention to their table. The moment sent chills up Derek's spine. In one small action, Scott had revealed that he understood that Beck had embarrassed him, that it was no big deal, and that he was amused by her antics. It was also the first time a guy had winked at him before.
I can't believe how much I like this
guy.

When the bell indicating the end of lunch rang, Derek was startled from his thoughts and realized he had been staring at 28

Wrestling With Desire

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Scott. Derek mentally slapped himself for allowing the lapse in control. "Uh, can I take a look at your schedule?" Scott handed it over and Derek busied himself reading through it.

"You have French after lunch. That class is downstairs at the end of the hallway to the right. Then you have study hall which is located next to the library. History with Mr. Sellen. I have that class too. That is actually located near our lockers.

Want to meet up before that class?"

"Sure. Let's meet at your locker."

Before leaving, Beck walked up to Scott and gave him a hug. "You're terrific. I'm so glad that you came to join us here at Brampton. I know it sucks to have to start over in your senior year, but we'll make sure you have a senior year you won't forget. I promise." With that, Beck and Scott headed towards Latin and Scott left to go to his French class.

* * * *

Once settled in the back row of Latin, Derek turned to Beck. "So, he's great, right?" When Beck turned to face him, he could see immediately that Beck looked concerned.

"
What?
"

"Yes, he's fantastic. He's outgoing and friendly and I absolutely worship him for his recognition that Malinda is a witch from Hell who should be burned at the stake." Derek cocked his head and raised his eyebrows as he looked at Beck. "Ok, well maybe he didn't say those words exactly, but he implied it. Anyway, I have never seen you become so immediately fixated on someone before. You don't know anything about this guy except that he's nice."

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"And cute." Beck bit her bottom lip, clearly trying to hold her comments in. "What?"

"It's just that I'm worried. Promise me you will be careful."

Derek sat back in his seat, a slight frown crossing his face.

Beck melted at the sight. "Look, I'm happy that you like him.

Just get to know him a little bit before you go all head-over-heels. That's
all
I'm saying."

Derek looked at Beck with complete seriousness. Having Beck behind him wasn't just something he wanted. It was something he
needed
. If Beck didn't support him then he wouldn't have the courage to even try to find out more about Scott. "Beck, please be with me on this. Please be happy for me. I've known everyone here since elementary school and not once have I had feelings like I am right now. Sure, I've had crushes, but this is different. I want to get to know him in person, not just in my fantasies."

Beck's eyes widened and began to glisten with tears.

"Derek. I'm
always
on your side. You never have to question that." A tear escaped her eye and Derek reached out to wipe it away. "Don't over think this. It's not like you don't know how to make friends. You're one of the most likable people in the school. You're nice to everyone. Just don't let your imagination create things that aren't there. You are so good at reading people and situations. Rely on that and give yourself time to figure him out."

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