Writing Movies For Fun And Profit! (33 page)

VFX PRODUCER:
Makes sure the VFX department has everything it needs. The VFX producer’s and supervisor’s jobs overlap a bit, but they usually work together closely.

POSTPRODUCTION SUPERVISOR:
Organizes all of the editors. Makes the schedule (based on the budget), then makes sure the editors are on schedule and under budget. They also communicate with the STUDIO about their needs and progress. They handle the payrolls of their department (as does every department head) and they makes sure there are enough snacks and cute assistants around to keep the editors alive.

SUPERVISING SOUND EDITOR:
Oversees everything that the ADR EDITOR, DIALOGUE EDITOR, SOUND EFFECTS EDITOR, MUSIC EDITOR, FOLEY EDITOR, and all of the mixers are doing. They make sure all the sound work is coordinated, on time, and under budget.

1ST ASSISTANT SOUND EDITOR:
Helps. Does the paperwork. Backs up the supervising sound editor in arguments.

MUSIC EDITOR:
Takes all of the composed and licensed music for the sound track, edits it, and mixes it into the film—so it’s all the right length, at the right place, and at the right levels (all under the supervision of the DIRECTOR and PRODUCERS).

SOUND MIXERS:
Do the same as the music editor, but for ALL of the film’s sounds. They put together the tracks that the music, dialogue, foley guys have given them and weave it into one piece of SOUND; that’s what you hear when you see the movie.

PRODUCTION COORDINATOR:
They make sure that every piece of equipment that needs to be on set is on set. This person needs the fortitude of Patton and the OCD of Monk. Along with the ADs, they make the schedule for the production and make sure that everything is on schedule. And oh my God, the paperwork— they have to document EVERYTHING—all the time cards, all the time sheets, all the receipts—and they make sure all the accountants have copies of everything.

CONSTRUCTION MANAGER:
Same as a construction manager in the real world— they coordinate all the construction. All the painters, carpenters, plasterers, designers—they make sure every department that’s building shit is on the same page and on schedule and under budget.

SUPERVISING LOCATION MANAGER:
Oversees all the location managers.
TRANSPORTATION COORDINATOR:
The transpo coordinator is in charge of EVERY VEHICLE it takes to get a movie done: the trucks that haul sets and equipment, the trailers the movie stars rest in, and the big, giant, mobile toilet trucks (called honey wagons). EVERY VEHICLE and EVERY DRIVER answers to, and is hired by, the transpo coordinator.

Why are the mobile toilets called honey wagons? We’ve heard Teamsters say it was because the goop the sewage truck sucks out of it looks kinda like honey.

TRANSPORTATION CAPTAIN:
Second in command of the transpo department, under the transportation coordinator. They put together the schedule.

SENIOR ART DIRECTOR:
If you have more than one art director, the senior art director is in charge of all of them.

ART DIRECTOR:
Works for the PRODUCTION DESIGNER and tells the set decorator what to do.

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTORS:
Work for the art director.

STANDBY ART DIRECTOR:
Stands on set to spy on the art department, making sure they are doing everything the production designer told them to do.

PRODUCTION BUYER:
Runs out and buys stuff for the SET DEC department. They are supposed to hunt around and find good deals. On GIANT productions, they sometimes don’t and instead buy overpriced stuff from their buddies’ stores.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER:
Creates fake logos for the movie, like the letterhead for Stark Industries and the Ghostbusters sign.

DRAFTSMAN:
Draws up plans and blueprints for the production designer’s set and props.

CONCEPT ARTIST:
Draws artist renderings of what the director or production designer is trying to create—whether that’s a Stormtrooper, the Land of Oz, or Scarlett O’Hara’s dress.

STORYBOARD ARTIST:
When a scene is complicated, a storyboard artist draws out the scene, shot for shot. The drawings look exactly like the shots, from the right camera angles: they show the camera position, what actor is in the shot, what parts of the set the camera will see, whether or not the camera will be moving. If a scene has hundreds of shots, they hang the storyboards up on a wall, so they know what they’ve shot and what has to be shot. Usually the DIRECTOR explains each shot to the artist meticulously.

ASSISTANT SET DECORATOR:
Assists the set decorator. Duh.

ART DEPARTMENT APPRENTICE:
Works for the art department to get into the union. They don’t get paid much.

ART DEPARTMENT INTERN:
Some poor kid earning college credit or trying to brown-nose his way into a job by working eighteen hours a day, FOR FREE, for the art department.

FOCUS PULLER:
Believe it or not, it takes more than one guy to work a camera. The focus puller adjusts the camera’s lens to focus on the precise point in the scene that the DP wants to be in focus. The DP and camera op are busy pointing the camera and WATCHING the monitor. So the FOCUS PULLER turns the little doo-hickey to adjust the focus. The camera is so precise and delicate it needs the touch of an INCREDIBLY specialized dude. (Or it’s just pure union hogwash—we’ll never know!)

CLAPPER LOADER:
That thing you see on movie sets that looks like a shoe box lid and has a black-and-white-striped thing on top that CLAPS down. Something like “KING KONG, SCENE 1, TAKE 35” is scribbled on it. That’s a clapper. That’s used so that the editor, when looking at all the footage, knows what scene he’s about to see and what take. Why do people still do it now that everything is digitized and filed in a computer system? UNIONS. The person who holds the CLAPPER up in front of the camera and CLAPS it down after the AD says, “Roll ’em!” That’s the CLAPPER LOADER. YES, IT’S A REAL JOB. And they make more than schoolteachers.

STEADICAM OPERATOR:
A Steadicam is a device that looks EXACTLY like the machine-gun mounts the Space Marines wear in the movie
Aliens.
It attaches to a rig around the steadicam operator’s midsection and holds the camera up at eye level. The operator is then able to move the camera around, in all directions, as they walk (and often run) around the set. The shot is as smooth as if it were on a dolly or tripod (if the operator is good).

FILM LOADER:
Oh, and all those guys standing around the camera—the DP, camera operator, and focus puller—they NEED ANOTHER GUY WHO PUTS FILM IN THEIR CAMERA. (See Dinosaur.)

DIT (DIGITAL IMAGING TECHNICIAN):
The modern version of a FILM LOADER. Makes sure that the DIGITAL cameras (the only type of cameras people use these days, unless you’re a film student) are operating smoothly. That all of the data is being stored. They unload the digital information when the camera is full and download it into the storage system.

CAMERA TRAINEE:
Low man on the totem pole in the camera department, but it’s where you start unless you “know somebody.” They fetch coffee and take HORRENDOUS amounts of verbal and psychological abuse from the Mohawked, hard-drinking anarchists who make up the camera and grip department.

B CAMERA OPERATOR:
If you’re shooting with more than one camera, the second camera is B CAMERA. The operator answers to the DP.

B CAMERA FOCUS PULLER:
That focus puller guy we told you about—EVERY CAMERA needs one of those guys.

B CAMERA LOADER:
Loads the film into B Camera.

BOOM OPERATOR:
Whenever you hear someone say: “BOOM IN THE SHOT!,” that’s the fault of the boom operator. He works for the sound department. The BOOM mike is a mike on a long pole either over the actors’ heads (and in the shot) or under the actor (and in the shot). The boom operator’s job is to hold the long pole and point the MIKE at the actors’ mouths. And to KEEP THE BOOM OUT OF THE SHOT.

SOUND ASSISTANT:
You ask—why does EVERYBODY have an assistant but the writer? You tell us.

SECOND ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
The 2nd AD does more than “assist” the AD. Their primary responsibilities are TALENT WRANGLING and making sure that the 1st AD’s orders are being carried out. He makes sure that the CAST is on time, that they’re being taken care of, that they’re through their makeup and hair process in time to be on set on time. They make call sheets (daily schedules that tell EVERYBODY when they’re supposed to be on set) and then get those schedules out to EVERYBODY. All under the supervision of the 1st AD.

BASE CAMP:
Where the movie star trailers, production department trailers, hair trailers, makeup trailers, catering, snacks, bathrooms, and equipment trucks are parked all day. Hopefully close to your set, so people don’t spend a ton of time going back and forth.

SECOND 2ND ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Helps the 2nd AD with their workload.

THIRD ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Usually tells the BACKGROUND EXTRAS what to do.

ASSISTANT COSTUME SUPERVISOR, COSTUME ASSISTANTS, TRAINEE SEAM-STRESS:
We bet you can figure out what these guys do yourself at this point.

COSTUME RUNNER:
Runs the costumes from the wardrobe trailer or building to the set and makes sure that they are where they need to be—in the actors’ dressing rooms, on set, or on the actors.

COSTUMES SUPPLIED BY:
Like, when Armani supplies suits for some movie— they get this credit.

MAKEUP AND HAIR ARTISTS:
Put makeup on all the actors and do their hair. Everything they do is dictated and designed by the MAKEUP AND HAIR DESIGNER.

CHIEF CROWD MAKEUP AND HAIR ARTIST:
In charge of the people who do the makeup and hair for the background extras.

CROWD MAKEUP AND HAIR ARTIST:
Does what the CHIEF CROWD MAKEUP AND HAIR ARTIST tells them to do.

MAKEUP TRAINEE AND CROWD MAKEUP AND HAIR TRAINEE:
Some poor schlubs, working for free or almost for free, so that one day they can actually make a living doing makeup and hair.

STUNT COORDINATOR:
In charge of all the stunts—figuring out the stunts (as
envisioned by the director), planning them, hiring the right guys in front of and behind the camera, coordinating with the special effects guys, and making sure things go without a hitch.

STUNT ASSISTANT:
Helps the stunt coordinator.

LEAD STUNT DOUBLE:
If there are twelve dudes who sometimes double as Robert Downey, Jr.—this is the one who probably looks the most like him.

STUNT DOUBLE:
A guy who looks JUST ENOUGH like Robert Downey, Jr., to get slammed into a brick wall dressed as IRONMAN.

STUNTS:
Did some stunt in the movie.

STUNT DRIVER:
Did some kinda car stunt. Probably has a mustache.

STUNT RIGGER:
Tied some sort of equipment in place, so a dude could fall from a bridge safely. Also probably has a mustache. When the stunt is done, the rigger walks up to the stunt guy and says, “That looked awesome.”

STUNT PERFORMER:
Did a stunt AS A CHARACTER in the movie: a bank robber, played by a stunt guy, who got punched out a window.

FIGHT CONSULTANT:
Makes sure the fight looks cool, believable, and authentic. Has probably studied kung fu in Asia and will probably mention that to you at some point.

PRECISION DRIVER:
Does car stunts where the car DOES NOT WRECK. Car chases and stuff. They ALL have mustaches and probably Corvettes too.

ASSISTANT STUNT COORDINATOR:
Helps the stunt coordinator.

UTILITY STUNTS:
Hangs out on set, just in case you need an extra stunt guy or rigger or spotter.

AERIAL GROUND COORDINATOR:
If you have one of these, your movie is cooler than our movies.

VISUAL EFFECTS EDITOR:
Takes the visual effects elements and, along with the editor, the director, and all the supervisors, integrates them into the cut of the film.

2ND ASSISTANT EDITOR:
Does anything the assistant editors tell them to. From “Go find this footage for me” to “Go get us the new issue of
Maxim.
”

TRAINEE EDITOR:
Some rube the post department has convinced to work for free.

RIGGING GAFFER:
Usually goes on the prescout and figures out everything the gaffer is going to need in order to set up his lights and get power to them. The rigging gaffer makes the plan and makes sure the gaffer has everything he needs.

BEST BOY:
The assistant to the gaffer or head electrician. (Disappointing, huh?)

CHARGEHAND RIGGING ELECTRICIAN:
The guy one below the rigging electrician in rank.

ELECTRICIANS:
We bet you can figure this one out.

RIGGING ELECTRICIAN:
The electrician in charge of tying and hanging stuff up in the air, above the set.

An easy-to-remember rule: RIGGING guys are in charge of anything up in the air. GAFFERS are in charge of anything on the ground.

GENNY OPERATOR:
The Teamster who unloads the generator from the truck, gasses it up, pushes the on or off button, and stands beside it all day, drinking coffee and reporting anybody else who tries to touch it.

PROPS STOREMAN:
The guy who knows where all the props are in the giant storage warehouse. He goes and gets them and puts them back where they belong.

STANDBY PROPSMAN:
The guy from the props department who stands on set, waiting to see if anything is needed from the props department.