Written in the Stars (6 page)

“You stay right there, Skippy. I’m going for help!” I yelled at him before climbing into the car.

It wasn’t until I started driving away that he started running after me, still screaming like a madman. I laughed as I watched him chase after me through the rearview mirror, and since he looked so pathetic, I stopped and let him in.

“I can’t believe you were going to leave me.” He quickly climbed in. “What if something was really wrong with me?”

“Dad, there is something seriously wrong with you.” I laughed.

“Man, beaten at both of my own games in the same day.” He shook his head.

“I did warn you.”

I was taken aback when the smile on his face faded and he stared at me with through regretful eyes.

“When did you grow up on me?” He sounded sad.

“When you weren’t looking,”

“I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you the way I should have.”

“You’ve always been there when I needed you the most,” I replied.

“No I haven’t, but I promise, from now on I will be.”

What does a daughter say to her father who just realized he wasn’t there for her most of her life, and that he missed out on the little things that meant the most? Nothing, so I just smiled instead.

Thankfully, the rest of the day went by quickly, and without
any more heartfelt apologies that I wasn’t prepared for. Even though my father wasn’t there, doesn’t mean I hated him. I understood him, and the pain he was going through. I envied him for being able to disappear the way I only dreamed of, and I missed him every second he was away, but not for one second did I ever think he was a horrible father and it breaks my heart to know that he does.

“Dad, dinner’s done,” I yelled up the stairs for him.

“I’m starving.” He came rushing down.

“There’s an
I Love Lucy
marathon playing. Are you up for it?” I asked him.

“Absolutely.” He forced a smile.

I Love Lucy
was my mom’s favorite show, and we hadn’t watched it together since she died. The pain that he still held in his eyes was the same pain I see when I look into the mirror and, for some reason, this was the first time in years that I realized he was still in just as much pain as I was, and he needed me just as much as I needed him.

“I still miss her with every breath I take,” I mumbled as I pushed the food around on my plate.

“I know.” He had tears in his eyes.

“It’s not easy to let her go, is it?”

“I never let her go,” he replied. “It’s impossible to let go of the kind of love your mom and I shared. I feel her with me every second of the day, and I know we’ll be together again. She might not be here physically, but she never really left us, so there’s no reason for either of us to have to let her go.”

“You really loved her,
didn’t you?”

“Of course, she’s my soul mate.” He smiled at
me. “Did she ever tell you where soul mates began?”

“Not that I remember.”

“God made Adam and Eve out of pure love. The same kind of love He put in their hearts for each other, a love that could conqueror the evilest of sin. From the beginning, their hearts and souls became one, and nothing, not even death, could ever come between them; they were the first of the soul mates. As time went on, and sin took over, it got harder for God’s soul mates to find each other, and even now only a very few ever succeed. But when they do find each other, God combines their hearts, and their souls are intertwined for eternity, and their love will be written in the stars for all to read. Your mom is my soul mate and our love story has been written in the stars since day one.”

“Mom once told me, the only fairy tales that come true are the ones written in the stars by God. You we
re her fairy tale.” I smiled at him.

“And she was my dream,” he said.

I’m not sure what time or how many
I Love Lucy
episodes we made it through before I fell asleep on his shoulder, the way I had done countless times in my life. All I knew was it felt good to be his little girl again.

I took one last look around my room before heading downstairs to where my dad and Erin were waiting. It was still as unorganized and unpacked as it was a few days ago when I promised my dad I would have it done by the time I left for Italy. Considering today was that day, I made sure to lock my door.

“Sophie, please hurry up!” Erin yelled up to me.

“I’m coming,” I replied, shoving the key into my front pocket.

I stopped by the bathroom for a quick look over, and to make sure I didn’t look like the living dead from lack of sleep. As I stood there staring at the image in the mirror, I realized it hadn’t changed much. My hair, my eyes, and body were all the same, with exception that I didn’t need to wear a push-up bra anymore.

Puberty, now there was a time in my life when I really wished I
had my mom. My dad tried having “the talk” once, but he was so uncomfortable with every part of it. He fumbled for words and even tried using pictures that he drew to help me understand. By the time he was done, I wished I was a boy. I tried telling him I had already learned everything I needed to know from Erin’s mom and school, but for some reason, he didn’t believe me.

After his failed attempt, he called in for reinforcement, which was my Aunt Jackie. She never had kids of her own, so her talk wasn’t much better, and it was clear she couldn’t remember a whole lot about her own personal experience either. I was nice and played it off that they both helped, but I turned to the Internet if ever I had questions.

I splashed some cold water on my face, hoping it would help the dark circles under my eyes disappear, and sighed before heading downstairs.

I could hear my dad and Erin whispering as I made my way towards the kitchen, which just happened to stop the moment I walked into the room.

“You should be a little less conspicuous when you’re talking about someone behind her back,” I told them as I grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

The irritated look on Erin’s face and the guilty smirk on my dad’s confessed it all.

“Using big words like ‘conspicuous’ doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re talking about, and, for the record, I have never talked about you behind your back, because I’m not afraid to say anything to your face. Plus, I would never do that to my best friend,” Erin snapped as she jumped off the counter.

I glared at my dad once Erin left the room, calling him out.

“I like it when you use big words like ‘conspicuous,’ and frankly, I’m very impressed Erin actually knew what it meant, and I promise the next time I talk about you behind your back, I’ll make sure you don’t hear me.” He sipped his coffee.

“That’s all I ask for
. Do I want to know what you two were talking about?”

“Honestly, I don’t know what we were talking about. I was just agreeing,” he replied.

“You have no idea how dangerous it is to agree with Erin and the fact you did it without knowing what you were agreeing to means you probably just offered up your firstborn child.”

“You’re my first and only born.” He looked confused.

“Yes, I know, and that’s what worries me.” I smiled.

“I’ve never been on a plane before, but I’m pretty sure we’re not special enough for it to wait, so can we leave, please?” Erin peeked around the corner.

“Erin, we still have a couple of hours before we leave.”

“I know, but you never know how long it will take us to check in. Plus, we have to be the first ones in line so we can get the best seats.” She grabbed her purse off the table.

“We already have our seat assignments.”

“Oh, well then, we better hurry before they decide to give them to someone else.” She walked out.

“And that’s why we love Erin.” My dad chuckled.

I sighed as I half-heartedly followed them to the foyer, knowing it was time to leave for a trip that a very large part of me didn’t want to take.

“Erin, can you please take Sophie’s bags to the car? I need a few minutes alone with her,” my dad asked her.

“Sure. No problem.” Erin grabbed the smallest of my bags, my purse. “Sophie can grab the rest on her way out.”

“Thanks, Erin,” I said.

“No problem.”  She grinned and then walked out to the car.

“She really does have the biggest of hearts.” I looked at my dad. The smile on my face faded when I saw the sadness in his eyes as he looked at me. “Dad, I don’t have to go.”

“No, it’s not that.” He gazed at me. “You have your mother’s eyes.”

“I know.” I looked down so he couldn’t see them tear up.

“This is for you.” He handed me an envelope that had my name written on it in my mom’s handwriting.

“What is this?” I started opening it.

“No, don’t read it now. Not here.” He grabbed my hands to stop me. “She asked me to give it to you the next time you went to Italy, but I didn’t think you were ready when I took you. She said to read it in your special field when you’re surrounded by the fairies.”

A small smile graced my face as I pictured the field behind my Nonna’s house. I couldn’t take my eyes off the envelope as I ran my finger over my name. I know it was just pen markings on a piece of paper, but it was marking written by her and for some reason, feeling my name was almost like hearing her say it again.

After running my fingers over my name a few times, I carefully tucked the envelope into my carry-on bag. I looked back at my dad through blurry eyes and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

“I love you, Dad,” I whispered into his ear.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

I’m not sure how long we stood there holding each other when Erin burst through the door.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt this very loving moment, but we now have less than a couple of hours before the plan leaves without us,” she said.

I felt my dad sigh before he kissed me on the forehead. He grabbed my bags and walked out the door. I couldn’t stop my face from forming a death glare when I looked at Erin.

“Why are you looking at me like that? You’re the one who’s going to make us late,” she said.

She quickly ran back out to the car before I could reply.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven …” I started counting as I locked up the house before joining them in the car.

The whole way to the airport, we listened to Erin read off her extremely long itinerary of things to see and do in Italy. She literally had the whole day of every day planned out for us. I glanced over at my dad and held in my laughter when I saw the glazed look in his eyes. I was guessing he was trying to find his happy place, but couldn’t block out Erin to do it. Blocking Erin was easy for me since I’ve had years to perfect it, which I knew for a fact went both ways. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve caught Erin tuning me out.

As Erin started rea
ding off her list for the third time, I turned my attention out the window and admired all the places I used to play at while growing up. It hadn’t changed much since I was little, maybe a few new buildings, but nothing major. When we passed the tennis courts that we played on yesterday, and I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of how much fun I had.

I was starting to get nervous about playing for Brown in the fall
. Getting accepted to an Ivy League school is one thing, but to actually make the tennis team was harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. Especially since Brown has one of the top ranked teams in the US. One thing for sure, between classes, tennis, my morning runs, and sleep, I wouldn’t have time to worry about anything else in life, including my past.

For some reason, tennis made me think about the family race we used to end our summers with in Italy, and that led my thoughts straight to my cousin Mario, and how much I missed him. This only reminded me of our very dramatic airport greetings, and if I still knew Mario the way I know I do, then I knew he was going to do whatever he needed to make sure he kept his King of Pranks Crown. I needed to be prepared to either be very embarrassed, or to do the embarrassing.

Erin’s high-pitch squeal brought me back to reality when we reached the airport. She quickly threw all her papers into her bag and was out before my dad could put the car into park.

I half expected it to take at least an hour for us to check in, but since everything is computerized now-a-days, it took less than thirty minutes to not only check in, but make it through a very long line of security, with a little help from my dad flashing his captain’s badge, of course.

After patiently waiting for Erin to explore every store we passed, we headed to our gate and waited for our boarding call. I took advantage of Erin once again, making sure she had everything she needed, and walked over to the window so I could watch our plane get prepared for takeoff.

When I was little, I was fascinated with how big the planes were. I used to pretend it was a flying carpet getting ready to take me to Planet Fairy Tale, where all the storybook characters lived. Now, I was just making s
ure nothing looked broken or any parts were missing from the plane.

“Mommy!” I saw a little girl running towards her mom. I closed my eyes as I tried to picture myself as that little girl
running to grab my mom’s hand the way I used to before we boarded the plane. For a split moment, I was there again, and walking with her down the runway to board the plane.
Off we go to Neverland,
I could almost hear her say, the way she used to right before our plane took off.

My flashback was shattered when a loud voice rang through our gate, advising us it was time to board and, before I knew it, I was alone again.

I looked around for my dad as I walked back to Erin, who was still searching through her bag.

“Where’s my dad?” I asked her.

“He went to the bathroom.” 

“I’m sorry. I was getting coffee.” I heard his voice coming from behind me.

“I meant he’s getting coffee.” She said with a smile on her face.

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” he asked me.

“I hope so,” Erin replied.

“Yes, I have everything.” I shook my head.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to me, since this is my first time flying,” Erin said.

“You’ll be fine, Erin.” My dad hugged her. “Be good.”

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try,” she said.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in exactly eight weeks, three days, two hours, and fifteen minutes.” He turned to me.

“I’m counting down too.” I hugged him as tight as I could.

“Please be careful, and make sure you give N
onna my love.”

“I will.” I didn’t want to let him go. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay without me?” I was kind of hoping he
would beg me to stay, but he didn’t.

“I promise not to burn down the house, if that’s what you mean,” he replied.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll miss you more.” He squeezed me tighter.

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you more, baby girl.” He let me go. “And don’t worry about me. Between flying and tennis lessons, I’ll keep myself busy.”

“Tennis lessons?”

“I vow never to let my butt get kicked like it did yesterday.” He smiled.

“Then you probably shouldn’t play with me anymore,” I teased him.

“Oh, I will, but this time I’ll be ready for your killer serve.”

“Sophie, someone’s going to take our seats.” Erin started walking towards the gate.

“The house is going to be really quiet without you.” He hugged me again.

“Play some music. That always helps me.”

“Go, before I can’t let you go.” He gently pushed me away.

“I’ll be seeing you.” I grabbed my bag and headed towards the gate.

I looked back and waved to my dad one more time before boarding the plane. For some reason, it was a lot harder to leave him than I thought it would be. Even though he wasn’t around as much as I wished he was, this would be the longest we would ever be apart, and I wasn’t sure how strong he was without me.

It wasn’t long after we found our seats that Erin started playing her favorite game: Ask a Thousand Questions in Ten Seconds, which just happened to be my least favorite game. After answering ten consecutive questions, I shoved my headphones into my ears, hoping she would take the hint I was done playing.

I could see the frustration building in her as she flipped through a magazine, glaring at me every time she turned the page.

“Fine, I’ll talk to you. Just stop taking it out on that poor magazine.” I took out my headphones.

“Yea
.” She clapped. “Okay, so I was thinking, when we land, you should probably teach me some very basic and easy Italian words so I don’t look like an idiot when I meet your family, and just in case we get separated, I can handle things myself.”

“It’s not like America. Most people there are multilingual and know English,” I told her.

“I know, but what if I can’t understand their English?”