Wrong Kind of Love (17 page)

“Please come out with me tonight! I haven’t seen you in forever!” Teagan whines into the phone.

I roll my eyes. Going out is the last thing I want to do today.
After my fight with Jaden and my feelings for Caden, I just want to veg out in my hotel room. “I’m not feeling all that good tonight, maybe another time.”

“Oh bullshit. You feel fine. Come out with me! Declan says I can
’t go unless I take another girl, and you know you’re the only girlfriend I have.” Every sound Teagan makes is amplified so she must have me on speakerphone. I bet she’s putting on her makeup.

“Well use tonight to make some more girlfriends.” I suggest smirking
into the phone.

“Oh hell no. I
can’t stand no bitches. Besides if you go out with me tonight, we might be able to find a man for you to leave my brother for.”

I
can’t stop myself from laughing now. “What? Why would I want to leave your brother?”

She huffs this time. “Because
he’s an overgrown caveman who needs a good spanking, and not the sexual kind. And he has a horrible attitude. You need someone sweet and gentle like you.” Little does she know I’m not with him anymore. It’s just easier to say that I am. I’ve already been living a lie, why not keep doing it.

I find my eyes rolling again. “Teag, really though?
I’ve been with him for over two years. I think I’m very happy with my relationship.” Lie! I’m going to hell for sure.

She is silent for a few minutes
before she takes a deep breath. “Look, Grace, I know you think you’re happy, but we all know you aren’t. Jaden’s not happy either. I may not really have much to do with him anymore, but I know him and I see him around. He’s not happy either.” She takes a short pause before blurting out, “And Caden’s not happy either. I’m not saying you need to be with Caden because he’s not what you need either.”

“You have a way of making me want to slap myself.” I say softly into the phone.

“Yeah well I’m not Teagan if I’m not being blunt. That’s what Declan says anyway.” She giggles. “Look I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I’m just trying to make everything better around here.”

“I know. Since you really have made me feel like crap, I’ll go out with you. I need a drink.”

I don't know why I let Teagan talk me into coming to this club/bar/whatever. I hate crowds and being surrounded by a lot of sweaty people. I fight my way through them looking for her on the dance floor.

Until this song came on.

You ever had that happened to you? One second you're minding your own business and a song comes on and changes your life. It says whatever you're thinking and feeling even if you didn’t know that’s what you were feeling.

My hips start to sway to the beat of the music. My hands go straight up in the air. My head rocking, my hair going everywhere.

"Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn’t need. Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don’t know why..." comes Clarity by Zedd over the places speaker system.

I feel him with me. His body pressed to me, his arms around my hips. His lips whispering things in my ear, naughty dirty things. Things only Caden would say to me.

"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love’s insanity, why are you my clarity?..." Who ever wrote this song gets it. They get what I'm going through.

I'm lost in this sea of people, none of them I know. I still feel the ghost of Caden with me.
It’s how I know what I'm doing. What pain I'm causing him. What pain I'm causing myself.

I feel li
ke I need him every time I'm nowhere near him. I wish I didn't. I'm fighting him every time I see him. I don't know why. Our entire relationship was doomed from the beginning yet it fixes me. We are insanity, the way we are together. We shouldn't work but, we do. And I see the clearest when he’s around.

I feel tears falling down my face as I continue to dance. I sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I
don’t care who hears or sees. I need this right now.

And just like that I feel him. I stop moving and look up. My face is damp and pulled tight. I
don’t care who sees, I don’t care who knows. It’s like I finally opened my eyes. I've wasted hours, days, months, years...

I run through the crowd to him. My Caden. I'm about a foot from touching distance, reaching for his hand when Jaden steps in front of me.
I stop automatically and look up into his dark blue eyes. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I never wanted him to begin with. But I don’t. I’m a fucking coward.

“Don’t go to him
. Stay with me.” Jaden whisper yells into my ear. I flinch at what he says. How much longer is he going to fight? Doesn’t he know by now I don’t want him?

My hands go to his shoulders. I move my face to just in front of his. “I can’t stay with you, Jaden. I love him. You have to let me go.”

His eyes close and I see the pain cloud over his face. I’ve hurt him and that pain is solely my fault. I led him on. I pretended that I wanted him. I should have stayed away from him. I’ve been telling myself all along that my love for Caden was wrong. But it wasn’t, what I was doing to Jaden was wrong.

“Why did you do this to me?” he says with tears in his eyes. This makes my own
tears start to run fall my cheeks.

“
I didn’t mean to! I was running, like I always run. Things get too intense and I can’t deal. You were nice, simple, easy. When it comes to fight or flight I would always pick flight. You were my flight for so long. Now it’s time to get up and fight.”

“What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to move on and let go?” his face betrays all the pain in the world. Everyone may think his skin is thick, that he doesn’t feel much of anything, but he does. That’s what makes Jaden tick. His emotions make him do things he shouldn’t. He was hurting so naturally, everyone around him had to hurt.

“I don’t know, Jaden. You have to find it in yourself. I’m not going to fix it for you, no matter how hard you want that. You are the only one who can make you better.” I don’t think as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. I squeeze him to me, hoping I can give him even a little comfort.

I feel Caden come close to my back. My face breaks out into a smile and I know right here, right now, everything is going to work out. Well
, until Caden rips me out of Jaden’s arm. I see he hasn’t lost his caveman issues. “How many times am I going to find you with him? How many times are you going to hurt me?” he whispers harshly in my ear.

I whip around fast and place my hands on his chest. “I was saying goodbye, Caden.
He’s not taking it so well. I’m not trying to hurt either one of you, but it’s all I ever end up doing. I’m sorry.”

Caden looks up at Jaden and they seem to share words without saying any words. “I’m sorry.” I hear Jaden’s deep voice say behind me.

“It’s a little late for that isn’t it?” Caden’s entire body is a wall of tense muscle. I feel like if I move he will explode and beat the shit out of Jaden.

“Yeah it is a little late. I’m sorry for everything
, Caden. I was so lost in my own hurt; I didn’t stop to think about how my actions would affect you. Or maybe I did and I just wanted you to be as miserable and unhappy as I am.” My heart goes out for him. The pain in his words is like a knife to my throat. He shouldn’t have to hurt more because of me.

“I know why you did it
, Jaden. If we are anything at all, we’re brothers. I know you just as well as I know myself. It’s not like I did much to help you.” The whole conversation is starting to feel strange to me. The music of the club beats around us, sweaty grinding bodies dance around us. Yet here we stand having a serious talk. My relationship with these two is nothing if not weird.

“Yeah well
, I could have asked for help. I could have asked for anything. I shouldn’t have wanted to hurt you like I did. I shouldn’t have used your love for Grace against you.” The sorrow in Jaden’s eyes is about to break me.

“Kayla.” I correct him.

“Kayla.” Caden corrects at the same time.

Jaden smiles faintly. “Right. Kayla.” He
smooth’s a hand over his face before looking down at me. “You were never Grace were you?”

I smile a little and shake my head. “I was never
, nor will I ever be Grace.”

Caden looks down at me but I see Teagan right behind him. This is not the place for her to find out I’m in love with the wrong brother. Before either of them
stops me I walk towards the door. I turn to look and they are both preoccupied by Teagan.

The walk turns into a run when rain starts pouring down on me. I didn’t even feel it coming. I stop when I hear my name called. And it was
n’t Grace being called it was Kayla.

I turn my head towards his voice and see him stepping out of his mustang. I run full sprint at him. He catches me in his arms and I can
’t help but to feel like I belong right here in them. Maybe I always did. Hopefully I always will.

“I love you
, Caden.” I tell him right before I smash my lips to his.

“I love you
, Kayla.” He says around my needy lips.

My hands go into his w
et hair and his hands span across my hips, digging into the wet material of my shirt. Our bodies become flush against each other and I can feel how much he wants me. Tingles shoot straight to my sex and it begins to throb. Throb just for Caden. “I want you so much.” I tell him trailing kisses across his cheek, jaw and neck. He groans when I suck skin at his neck into my mouth.

“I’ve always wanted you.” He tells me, his hands moving down to my ass. “I think I’ve wanted you, even when I didn’t know you. You’re my forever and always.” He
whispers into my ear, massaging my butt cheeks.

I grin up at him and cup my hands around his cheeks. “Take me somewhere.”