Wrong Kind of Love (3 page)

I drop Grace off at her dorm and I almost want to get out of the car and follow her up. Which is dum
b because little miss Teag would find us. It’s not that I want hide that Grace and I had sex, it’s more of the fact that my entire family would try to hook us up. They are about the nosiest people that ever lived. It’s none of their business if I want to have sex and it’s definitely not their business who I want to have sex with.

Grace has left an impression on me. One I
can’t seem to shake off since I ran into her last night. I don’t let my hook ups stay the night and I definitely don’t drive them home. This girl though, she’s different. I don’t know why yet but I’ll figure it out. The fact I even want to see her again is confusing to me. I also never give them my number. I don’t need some clingy girl calling me all the time. Though I don’t think Grace will.

I head back to my apartment to pick up Jaden. Saturdays are family days. I guess with so many kids running around
, you have to pick one day out of the week for us to get together. It also happens to be the day that Jaden has a game. He’s so driven when it comes to football; he is the best damn player I have ever seen. People have been known to say that we have nothing in common, but I beg to differ. When it comes to doing what we love, our whole hearts go into it. Its just my heart belongs to art and Jaden’s belong to football.

“Where did you run off too?” Jaden asks as he climbs into my car.

“I had to take my over night guest home.” I state feeling my cheeks burn. I know what’s coming, but I would rather skip the whole thing.

He doesn’t say anything for a minute and I start to get
fidgety. “You let one stay the night? Really? Damn never thought I would see the day.” He chuckles and playfully slaps me on the back of the head.

“Shut up. She is different. I don’t know how yet
, but there is something there.” I shut up before I say something stupid. Like the sun shines out of her ass or her eyes sparkle like glitter. I’m such a pussy.

“Who is it? I wanna meet this girl. If she can change the stripes on your back then she must be amazing.” He smirks over at me and I roll my eyes.

“I’ll tell you but you can’t tell anyone. Teag and mom would play matchmaker so fast. I don’t want anyone messing it up with their nosy asses.” I take a deep breath and do something I have never done. I tell my brother the name of a girl I slept with. “It was Grace Breadfield. Teag’s roommate.”

Total silence enters the car and I look over
at Jaden who is glaring me to Hades. “You didn’t.” When my eyes go wide, he lets out a string of curses. “I can’t believe you!”  He screams. “I’ve had my eye on her all semester! And you walk in with your blond hair and playboy smile and she drops her panties. You’re a fucking dick, Caden.”

I feel all the blood drain out of my face and
it’s hard for me to speak. “You have a thing for Grace? Why didn’t you say anything?” I mumble trying to keep my eyes on the road.

“Because I th
ought she was off of your radar! This is such bullshit. I can’t believe you broke the twin code!” he turns away from me and glares out the passenger side window.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know? You didn’t tell me asshole!” I take a deep breath and exhale. I need to calm down. Jaden and I haven’t really fought in years and I don’t want to start now. He is the king of the silent treatment. “Look, if I had known I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her. Okay? I didn’t make any promises and I won
’t call her.” But the thought of giving him the okay to go after her makes me want to punch his face in. Yeah I can’t let that happen. “As long as you don’t go after her either. Since we both like her it’s only fair for us both to stay away from her.”

He sighs and his shoulders relax. “You’re right. I should have told you but I didn’t think she would ever get anywhere near you. She’s such a good girl. Or so I thought. I would never have pegged her as a chick who would have random hook ups.” He runs a palm down his face and turns to look fully at me. “I won
’t go after her either. We make a deal to both let her go.”

I
can tell that’s not what he really wants to do, but it’s only fair. Our relationship isn’t worth the risk of fighting over a girl. I wont risk it and neither will he. “Deal.”

I pull up at Teagan’s dorm as Jaden calls to tell her we are here. I think about
how I was just here. Grace was something I was looking forward to. I wanted to know everything about her. I’ve never had sex like that. I’ve never wanted anyone to touch me while I was fucking, but I was seconds away from untying her wrists and telling her to have a go at it.

My mind locks up with that thought. I
can’t go back to that time. Not the time with Grace, but the time when I was younger. When someone I trusted betrayed me. I live in a family full of betrayal. Sometimes I feel like I’m running away from it and no matter how fast I run its always nipping at my heels.

Teagan walks out of the door looking like complete shit. I almost laugh out loud because
there’s no way she got drunk last night. Then I think of Grace being at that party and there’s probably a good chance Teag went with her. See, I need to get my head out of my ass over some girl and pay attention to my little sister. No one is going to hurt her like I was hurt. I might seem like a caveman, but I don’t want her to go through what I did. So I go overbearing, but then again our dad has hurt her enough. And her mom. She deserves to be sheltered from the harshness of life.

Jaden and I let her think we don’t notice she is
hung-over as we make our way to our parents house. I’ll let her get away with it this time since I let my guard down, but next time she won’t have it so lucky.

Mom and dad live about an hour from campus. It’s a drive I make every weekend and I go into
autopilot. Jaden and Teagan have idle chatter back and forth but I tune them out. But that doesn’t mean my head is silent. No, I’m thinking about Grace. How her slightly tan skin glistened with sweat as I fucked her. I think about the way she felt wrapped around my dick and how good it felt to touch her. My heart feels kind of crushed because I won’t be able to do any of that again. I didn’t even get to spank her. I bet she would have liked that.

I don’t believe in love at first sight
, but the girl did a number on me. I have rules for this kind of thing but I only followed one. The tying her up. I’m not supposed to kiss them during sex, I’m not supposed to let them spend the night, I’m not supposed to get their numbers, and I’m not supposed to drive them home. I have to appear like an asshole so they don’t want more with me. I’m not boyfriend material. I never have been. That has nothing to do with why I won’t let them touch me. This is all my fathers doing. I cant help but to think if I fell in love and married, that one day I would fuck it all up and cheat. I know they were having problems and shit but that doesn’t excuse what he did. Though Teagan came of the cheating, we didn’t know about her ‘til 10 years later. I just don’t know if I could cause the pain that my mom went through. I think I would rather die.

When we pull up to the house
, mom is waiting at the door with a small smile on her face. Her blonde hair is perfectly in place and her blue eyes sparkle with the love she has for us. You have to be full of love if you have six kids and a couple of grandkids. Plus a douchebag husband. Everyone else has forgiven dad, but I can’t seem too. I do realize I wasn’t even born yet, but Mom was fucking pregnant with us. It’s complete bullshit.

“Caden
, come give your momma a hug!” mom yells since I’m the last one out of the car.

I chuckle and pull her up into a hug and swing her around the porch. “
How’s life?” I ask her when I place her back on her feet.

“I’m still trying to get used to y’all being gone. Its getting easier e
veryday but maybe one day I won’t miss y’all not being here. Your father says I’m just being a woman, but I know he misses y’all too.” She pats my cheek and grabs my hand to pull me into the house.

“We aren’t that far away
, mom. Plus you have Marie and Jessica down the street. You haven’t gotten rid of all of us.” I kiss her cheek and let go of her hand.

“I know. I’ll get used to it in no time. You go and paint. I know you have been missing your studio.” She waves me off and heads over to Teagan who is groaning on the couch. “I’ve gotta fix Teag something for that hangover.”

I chuckle and head to the back of the house where I have a room just for my painting. There wasn’t enough room in my bedroom here for it, so mom had this built on for me. Everyone got mad about it but she simply said if any of them showed the kind of talent that I did with painting, then they could get their own studios. Needless to say they couldn’t.

I make sure to lo
ck the door before I pull an empty canvas out of the closet and set it up on an easel. I start mixing colors on my paint tray before I pull a stool up and start brushing the paint along the blank canvas. I sit there for hours lost in what I’m doing. I don’t take a break to eat or go to the bathroom. I’m lost in what I’m doing and I couldn’t be fucking happier. Everything goes away when I’m in here. Nothing matters except for what I’m painting and most of the time I don’t know what I’m painting until I’ve already started.

The sun is starting to set outside the studio window. It shines through the gazebo outside
, making a halo effect. I think of Grace then and how the light gave her the same effect. I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt that I won’t get to know her. I don’t want to let her go, but I would do anything for my brother.

I turn back to my canvas and smile to myself. At least I will always have this to remember our night together. It’s a painting of Grace naked on my bed with her wrists tied to my headboard. Her face is expressing the pleasure she felt as she came. Her blue eyes are wide and her teeth are biting down on her bottom lip.

I painted it to show her looking up at the viewer like they were the one thrusting inside her. Making her feel those things etched into her face. I wanted to paint her entire body and me inside her but that just seemed way to creepy. I don’t do creepy.

Video games w
ere my way of escaping reality. I know being a girl, there were a lot of other things that could have been helpful in this department. Like reading, which Teagan is always doing. I was never much of a reader myself. If I didn’t like the way things were going or even a certain character, I had to put the book down and move on. So yeah not for me.

I can remember being eight
and playing Wario 3 on my Gameboy color. Wario happens to be Mario’s crazy cousin and the game was honestly silly but I loved it. It gave me something to do so I wouldn’t think about all the messed up stuff going on around me.

Now
a days I’m obsessed with Borderlands. You can’t imagine how easy it is to let go of your anger and resentment when you’re out there killing scags. Which for you non-gamers is a dog like creature on the planet Pandora, where the game is set. You get to play as one of four characters that are referred to as vault hunters. I usually go for Lilith because she is the only girl and she is totally badass.

Teagan usually spends her Saturdays at her parents so I get the room to myself. That’s when I pull the
PlayStation out of my closet and go to town. So you can imagine I’m quite pissed off when my phone starts ringing while I’m in the middle of a shoot out with a bunch of bandits. (The outlaws on Pandora) The psychos are as you can probably guess crazy. They wear these masks and come running right at you. When a fire bandit kills me I toss my controller on my bed and answer my phone with a pissed off “What?”

“Getting you
r face eaten off by a scag?” Aiden laughs into the phone.

“No a fire bandit
. What do you want?” I lay back on the bed hoping he doesn’t want to have a long conversation about nothing. Aiden is a hopeless romantic and often goes on and on about some guy he’s into. I believe in love but I don’t believe in the needing to talk about it all the damn time.

“We need to talk about your little love fest with Mr. Caden Harper last night. I’ve told you which brother you need to go for. Caden isn’t good for you. Plus if mom or Daniel ever came here they would look for the badest boy and see if you
’re trailing behind him.”

I huff. “I do not like bad boys. Caden isn’t even that
bad; he’s just a womanizer. The guy paints for crying out loud.” I’m tempted to throw my hands up in the air, but I know he can’t see me so that would be pointless.

“Do you know what he paints? He has an entire wall at the local gallery of naked women.
He’s pretty much famous around here for them. Plus he has been arrested for drunk driving and fights this semester.”

“How the hell do you know all that? What
, are you stalking him?” It honestly amazes me how much Aiden knows about people. He was always a nosy bastard.

“You wouldn’t know because Teagan doesn’t know. They keep that poor girl out of all the dirty
laundry. Probably because she was once considered dirty laundry. Anyway I have made friends with Jaden and he felt the need to tell me all this. He was drunk, mind you, but I guess he doesn’t really have anyone else to talk to.”

I huff again. “He is best friend
s with that red shirt dude. What the hell is his name?” I tap my index finger on my chin honestly trying to think of his name. “Declan Sage! I would have been interested there but his eyes are alert and telling. Plus he is way too brooding.”

“Jaden doesn’t tell him anything. I think Jaden is more there for Declan than Declan is there for Jaden. Poor boy.” Oh lord. Aiden has the
hot’s for Jaden Harper.

“This is all
irrelevant anyway. Jaden wouldn’t go after me now since I have been touched by Caden.” Damn why do I feel the need to explain myself? “I was drunk and he was so hot. He called me Angel and wanted to dance. I have been flirting with Jaden for weeks and it was nice to have some attention.” I sigh before going on. “Plus he reminded me of Justin. I just wanted to feel close to him again. Then Caden turned out to not be anything like Justin. So now I really like Caden. I can’t explain it, but I feel like we get each other. The sex was amazing and if I’m completely honest, it was the best I have ever had.”

Aiden chuckles. “You have it bad. I never thought I would see the day you felt something real for someone other than Justin.” Yeah well me either.

“What do I do? I kind of feel like I’m betraying Justin.” I can look back now and see what a huge mistake I made with Justin. I shouldn’t have ended things with him because he found out what I was hiding. I feel awful about it.

“I told you
that I thought you were an idiot for breaking up with him. Not that you listen to me. So what if he found out? He loved you no matter what. That boy would have gone to the ends of the world for you.”

“Thanks
, that makes me feel so much better.” I spit out sarcastically, “I just couldn’t deal with him knowing. I was ashamed.” I feel a tear start to slip down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

“It
’s not something to be ashamed of. Daniel should be the one ashamed. He was the one who abused us. It’s not our fault, it’s his.”

I sniff quietly and pretend that
I’m not hurting. “Yeah but I’m ashamed that I didn’t protect you. He molested you Aiden. He only beat me. What kind of sister am I? To just let that happen?”

“First off, I’m the older brother I’m supposed to protect you. In a way I did. I’m happy that you don’t have to carry this burden around with you like I do.
It’s painful and hard. Second you didn’t let it just happen. You were beat because it was happening to me and you tried to stop it. If you don’t stop blaming yourself, I’m going to come over there and tickle you.”

I laugh through the sobs that rack my body. “You know I hate being tickled.” I take a deep breath and smile through my tears. “I love you so much Aiden. Thank you for giving up everything to get me out of there.”

“I love you too, Grace. And getting out of there was for both of us. I would never have left without you. And start calling me David. If anyone hears you say Aiden we could be caught.” He warns.

“I know. It
’s just really hard to think of you as a David.” I giggle. We say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone.

I’m left wondering what in the hell I’m going to do. I don’t think my parents would come looking for us in Arkansas
, but if they ever did, Aiden is right. They know I would cling to my past and Caden is a lot like Justin. They look a like and apparently they have the same arrest history. Justin was always getting into fights and driving drunk. He is reckless, but I loved him anyway. He made me happy and I miss that.

What I’m scared of the most is that the wrong guy is what makes me happy now. I shouldn’t want Caden the way I do.
He’s what I should be staying away from. If I were with Jaden, our relationship would be over looked. But I don’t know if I can let go of these feelings I have for Caden.

I used to make fun of cheerleaders in high school. So imagine my surprise when Aiden told me I would be a cheerleader here. I should have known when he dyed my hair blonde and made me wear designer clothes. Maybe that is a bit stereotypical but he was right on the money. My parents would never look for me with blonde hair and cheering on a squad. It goes against
everything I am. I even hate football. It’s the most useless sport known to man, yet it makes the most money. I can’t understand why people want to watch guys throw a ball down a field and tackle each other to the ground. The only good thing about it is the skintight pants that show off some really fine asses.

Walking out onto the field sidelines in my stupid uniform isn’t something I would normally spend my Saturday night doing. Oh how I wish I could be i
n my baggy clothes and playing FallOut 3. One of the best games ever made other than Borderlands.

I hear Claire screeching at the other girls to get in
the lineup and I roll my eyes. That bitch needs the stick pulled out of her ass. I used to think it was because her and all-star jock Declan broke up, but Cassidy went to high school with her and said she has always been this way.

“Grace, so nice of you to join us!” Claire eyes me up and down and I cringe on the inside. The bitch actually told me to lose ten pounds
, like I was fat or something. Yeah I have some curves, but I am not fat. I weigh 140 and I’m 5 foot 5. It’s the perfect weight. “I thought I said you needed to lose some pounds not gain any?” She bats her eyelashes like she said something sweet.

I have learned since
joining these girls to just ignore her. She only gets worse if you add fuel to the fire. So I nod my head and smile. They all think I am simple minded. A true airhead. Wouldn’t they love to find out I have amazing common sense and a 4.0 GPA when I finished my junior year. Take that and stick it up your ass.

Seeing
I’m not going to do anything about her insults, Claire turns around and starts eyeing Declan like he’s a piece of meat. Gross.

I sit on the ground to start stretching when I feel eyes on me. From the front and the back. I look up to see a pair of dark blue eyes checking me out. Jaden smiles softly and nods. I
can’t help the goofy grin that takes over my face. It’s what Grace would do. Hell who am I kidding? I would do it too. He has his gear on but not his helmet. His black hair shines in the setting sun and I can’t help but to think that he is gorgeous, but he’s not his brother.

When he walks off I turn around with the smile still on my face. Caden stands there looking confused and then pissed.
His light blue eyes pierce me where I’m sitting. His blonde hair falls into his face and despite the look on his face, I can’t help but to check out the low-rise jeans barely hanging on to his hips. His black shirt hugs all his muscles and I find myself licking my lips. Heat flares in his eyes before he turns around and stalks off.

Maybe I’m playing a game I don’t know how to win.

Just before the game starts I hear, “Grace!” called out from behind me.

I whip my head around to spot Teagan standing at the rail of the bottom of the stands. I plaster a big goofy grin on my face. “Hey, hon! I was hoping to catch you before you went home with your brothers this morning but
somebody didn’t come home!” I squeal at her, hugging her through the rail.

“Yeah about that; I have a quick question before I n
eed to get back to my family,” She tells me, grabbing my hands.