Read You Can Run but You Can't Hide Online
Authors: Duane Dog Chapman
that alone or lost. I have felt it. I have lived it. And I never, ever,
want to go back there again.
If Beth hadn’t saved me, I’m not sure I would have survived those
years.
The first thing I needed to do was get my health back. A different
doctor told me to get on a weight lifting program and put on some
pounds. He also suggested that I stop using caffeine and alcohol and
that I avoid peppers and a foot-long list of other foods, which he sus-
pected might be irritating my bowels.
I finally passed the kidney stone. The very next day, I was up and
at ’em, hitting the gym every chance I got. I began to bulk up almost
immediately, gradually putting on sixty pounds of pure muscle.
It took me a month of agony, but I finally emerged drug-free and
stronger than ever. It wasn’t easy, but I made it through the dark-
ness of those six months. With God’s help and Beth’s love, I had all
the support I needed. Now, all we had to do was get back on our
feet financially, and we’d be set.
But by Christmas of 1997, we had hit the absolute bottom. We
were stone-cold broke. The whole bail bonds industry knew we
were together as a couple. The thought of the two of us joining
forces scared the hell out of everyone.
We signed on to work with Mike Whitlock, who agreed to back us
for insurance. He was the first person to give us a break. We weren’t
making great money, but we were surviving. Beth was writing bail
while I was out bounty hunting. For a while, it was slim pickings. We
had been out of the game for a few months, so there wasn’t a lot of
business.
By New Year’s, we had committed to each other to make a
miraculous comeback. Come hell or high water, we were back in
the game. Nothing and no one could stand in our way. We were un-
stoppable.
Not so fast. By the end of the year, our insurance company came
to us and said we were too high-risk. It’s true, one out of every three
of our clients was running, but I caught each one. Beth and I battled
with Mike Whitlock for a while, but it was no use. He dropped us
like we were hot.
Beth went through a couple more insurance companies before
she found us both a temporary home. By the grace of God, an old
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bounty hunter named Andy Raff came by to see me. He knew all
about me. He was a rebel who just wanted to give me a break.
“What have you got for collateral?” I didn’t have much to offer.
Beth and I were still pretty much living day-to-day. We were happy
just to have the chance.
“Don’t tell nobody, but I’m going to sign you up for nothing. How
many powers you want?” Like that, we were back swinging. And
strong, too. We became the Bonnie and Clyde of bail bonds. Every
time we showed up at one of the local jails, I could hear people say-
ing, “They’re baaack!”
C h a p t e r T h i r t y - t h r e e
Once Beth and
I decided to join together in business, we
slowly began pulling ourselves out of the financial black hole we’d
been in since I got shut down in Hawaii. We had to take some large
steps back in lifestyle. We moved into a small three-bedroom town-
house. Beth was pregnant with Bonnie Jo while we built our new
business. We became a threat to the industry, their worst nightmares.
People started flocking to Free as a Bird Bail Bonds. We jammed
music every morning while I walked my gigantic pet lizard on a
leash up and down the sidewalk in front of the other bail bonds of-
fices to get attention. We had free coffee and donuts. DAs came in,
cops stopped by, and everyone loved our very entertaining atmos-
phere. I plastered a mug shot of every fugitive I ever arrested on a
huge wall. Clients would come in just to see who they knew on our
wall of fame. It became a status symbol of sorts to be on Dog’s
board of mugs.
Once business began to build, Beth was more determined than
ever to go after the other bondsmen and insurance companies who
continuously tried to put us out of business. She was fighting mad
and didn’t give a damn who knew.
One night we walked into a meeting of the Denver Association
of Bail Bonds just to let the three hundred or so members know that
Dog and Beth were now a team. Although there were only thirty-
eight people present, we knew word would quickly spread. When
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we walked through the door, every head in the joint turned to see us
standing there. It was great. I was dressed in a long black leather
trench coat, looking like Keanu Reeves in
The Matrix
, while Beth,
well, was Beth. She wore a low-cut, revealing top and high heels
that resonated off the linoleum like gunshots with every step she
took.
Before the meeting began, someone made an announcement
that we were not welcome. A couple of guys stood up, turned their
chairs around like protective shields, and hid behind them. Several
guys formed a human chain and pushed me right out the door. Beth
was still inside. I had to make sure she wasn’t in danger. I called out
her name as I tried to get back inside.
As Beth made her way outside, one guy lunged toward her. She
threw her arm up, caught him in the throat, and bodychecked him
into the wall. Several other guys got up too. One sprayed a can of
Mace toward my face, but he missed. I had a huge wad of chewing
gum in my mouth I was about to spit out. The Mace hit the gum be-
tween my teeth. I spit it out and said, “I’ll eat that can of Mace,
motherfucker!” The son of a bitch ran away. I just laughed. These
guys were pathetic. After those two punks tried to take us down,
somebody called the cops. We had delivered our message. We were
back in business and no one could stop us. If they didn’t like it, too
bad. Beth and I laughed all the way home. Suckers!
The next day, we were served with a stack of restraining orders
from disgruntled bondsmen. We fought every single one of them in
court. It was the Ike and Tina Turner Revue. We won them all. The
bondsmen kept telling the judge they were scared of us. He laughed
and said, “They scare me too, especially her, but there’s no reason
for these orders!”
Being in business was one thing. Staying in business was some-
thing else. We had a difficult time finding an insurance company to
back us. Most of them viewed us as high-risk. They thought we were
writing some bad bonds that would lose them a lot of money.
Beth and I set out to effect positive change in the otherwise dis-
honest world we worked in. Because of her background in the leg-
islature, we consulted with several state senators on creating bills
to reform the industry. Most of our time was spent trying to regu-
late the insurance companies, who were as crooked as the thieves
they insured. At the time, an insurance company could write as much
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insurance as they wanted. If the company went out of business,
the bondsman was stuck holding the financial bag. He had to pay
the full value of the bond if his client skipped. It was a very big
problem for the bondsman, who might have put his house up for
collateral.
We saw that imbalance in business practices as being completely
unfair to the bondsman, and we spent an enormous amount of
time working with local government in Denver to get those laws
changed. We were successful on every level. Not only were our rights
better protected, but also, within three years, our provisions in the
new laws essentially put the Colorado Department of Insurance
out of business. Success is the best revenge.
But it was short-lived. In February 1999, the Colorado legis-
lature passed a new law stating that convicted felons could not
bounty hunt. How did this law slip in? We were friends with all the
lawmakers. We knew what was happening on the state level before
anyone else.
I was making a bust when Beth called to deliver the bad news. I
threw up. I remember standing on the street next to my car asking
the Lord when He was going to cut me a break. I couldn’t help but
feel that the state was purposely coming after me. Someone with a
lot of power and influence was at it again. My assumption was that
the guys from the Denver Bond Association were behind it. They
must have paid a lobbyist to quietly try to push the bill through
without word ever leaking. Every time we thought we won a battle,
it turned out we hadn’t even begun to fight the war. It was only a
matter of time before they would be permanently successful.
I’ve always been a fighter, but I have to admit, I was losing my
stamina. Because of my situation in Hawaii, I wasn’t able to write
bail, but I could still bounty hunt. And now, because of this new
law, it looked like I might lose that right too. I have fallen and risen
from the ashes so many times in my life; I wasn’t about to get burned
again. I spent the past twenty years trying to live a good, honest life.
But throughout that time, I was constantly answering for that one
horrible night in Pampa. That damned murder-one conviction
haunted me everywhere I went. I could run, but I couldn’t hide.
I had to stop the madness. Tony Robbins taught me to always
use your resources, use who you know. You have to have something
for people to buy before you can sell. I paid a visit to Senator Joyce
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Lawrence, the sponsor of the new bill. Beth put together a presenta-
tion to show her all of my accomplishments as a bounty hunter. We
had dozens of letters from clients and other members of law en-
forcement singing my praises for the work I had done.
I was extremely nervous. If the senator didn’t like what she saw
and heard, I would be out of business for good. After I gave her a long
speech about how her bill would end my career, she was somehow un-
aware that the new law would negatively impact me. She told us she
would amend the bill so I could go back to work—if Beth and I could
collect enough signatures of support from other state senators.
One thing I knew for sure, we had our work cut out for us. But I
also knew I could sell grass to a golf course, so I figured convincing
a bunch of conservative senators to let me do my job couldn’t be all
that hard.
Beth and I spent the following two weeks meeting all thirty-five
senators in the state of Colorado. Some were on board right away.
Others, well . . . not so fast. Senator Ken Clover didn’t even want to
take the meeting. His grandmother had been murdered by an ex-
con. When I walked into his office to shake his hand, he stood cold
and still. He told me he hated all ex-cons. I was startled by his gen-
eralization, especially because I have seen so many felons eventually
make something good out of their lives.
I did the only thing I could think of. I engaged the senator in
conversation about something other than crime. I said, “Senator,
do you hate pie?”
He said he only hated lemon pie.
“Well, then, let me ask you something, Senator. Do you hate all
pie because you don’t have a taste for lemon pie?”
He looked at me for a moment, clearly trying to figure out where
I was going with all my talk about pie.
“No. I only hate lemon pie.”
Blam. I just closed the deal. Made the sale. I was out selling Kir-
bys again, only this time I was selling my life, my career. I begged
the senator to give me a chance. I told him I was a good guy. I gave
him the scrapbook Beth made of all the articles written about my
accomplishments. I wasn’t the felon who killed his granny. I was the
guy out there chasing down those scumbags.
Nearly all the senators we met agreed about one thing: they
couldn’t pass a law for a single man. The consensus was that a law
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had to cast a wide net. Fair enough. But I was quick to point out
that laws do affect a single person each and every day. I told the
senators a story about how I was recently out driving on a two-lane
highway in the middle of the plains when I came to a four-way stop.
I could have kept cruising right on through that stop sign. No one
was around to see me. But I didn’t. I stopped. I obeyed the law.
Why? Because it is the law. I wanted the senators to see that laws
are as individual as their interpretation.
After I won the battle to keep my bond license, I began spending
more time with a bunch of the other bondsman’s kids who were
pretty much a fixture on bail bonds row in Denver. They ranged in
age from eighteen to twenty. They were all adults, but they were
young and immature. Tim “Youngblood” Chapman was the son of
one of Denver’s best female bondsmen. I liked Tim from the mo-
ment we met. At the time, I didn’t have my oldest sons, so I kind of