You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology (17 page)

She scanned the length of the bar and saw him immediately. Even just from the profile, she could see he looked like his picture. The first test a pass, she started forward when he turned to look toward the door. He saw her and smiled, and then she watched as he moved his eyes over her, taking in the sleek, hopefully sexy black dress she wore along with the expensive shoes. Or maybe he was thinking about the body beneath all of that. She didn’t know, but she saw that this smile was gone.

“John?”

“Kate.” It sounded like a sigh.

She held her hand out to him, and he took it carefully, as if she were made of china. She could feel his calluses. He would feel the pampered, manicured hands of a woman who spent most of her day typing.

“Hi.”

“Please, my manners. Sit down.” He scooted over on the stool he was sitting on to allow her to sit next to him. She put her clutch purse on the bar as she tried to elegantly lift up onto the bar stool, and his eyes went directly to it, fixed on the expensive purse.

Now not only was he not smiling, he was scowling instead.

She’d overdone it. The dress, the heels, the designer purse. It was too much. Especially looking around the bar and the crowd that filled it. “I haven’t been to a place like this since college,” she said without really thinking. Then it occurred to her how that might sound. “I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah. Right. I’m an ex-con. Shit. Fuck. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

John pushed back the stool and Kate watched him walk out of the bar without even realizing what was happening. Stunned, hurt, she scurried herself to leave before anyone could see what had been done to her.

This was far worse than being stood up. This was him treating her as if
she
were the creepy troll. At least have the good manners to pretend a fake emergency. Something other than total abandonment.

When she pushed open the doors of the restaurant, John was still standing there by the entrance. Cursing rather fluently at himself. Suddenly, it all seemed so ridiculously funny. Here they were, two grown adults acting like innocents. Teenagers dating for the first time were not as bad as they were.

Tentatively, Kate walked up to him and tapped him on the back. He turned and once again seemed flummoxed by her appearance. “If the reason you left is because you don’t like the way I look, then I’ll leave and never talk to you again. But…”

“You might be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he stopped her.

Kate smiled. She couldn’t remember the last time a man called her beautiful. Competent, professional, intelligent, yes. Never beautiful. She liked it.

“But this isn’t going to work. You’re…you are way out of my league.”

“I don’t know about that. You’re rather handsome yourself.”

He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, and she thought she liked the way the lines around his eyes crinkled. He was taller than she was, even in her high heels, and she had this crazy urge to put her arms around his waist to see how they would fit together.

“That’s not what I mean. Look at you, you’re this high-class lady and… well, I’m not. I work down at the docks in the winter and I own my own boat and catch fish in the summer.”

Kate tilted her head. “So you’re an entrepreneur. Me too. That’s something we have in common.”

“Kate,” he said, almost as if he was frustrated with her even though this was their first meeting.

“I did cross a bridge for you. The Ben Franklin. That’s a toll and everything. Seems kind of cruel not to even buy me a drink.”

He blinked and then shook his head. Then, with a sheepish smile that made her like him even more, he nodded. “Okay. I guess you can tell I don’t do this a lot.”

“I’m happy you were more nervous than me. Kind of took the edge off. And I learned you’ve got a hell of a cursing vocabulary. I found some of your combinations rather innovative. Another thing we have in common.”

“You truly are beautiful.”

She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Then buy me drink, sailor?”

Another twist of his lips. “Actually, in the summer I’m considered the captain.”

“Should I salute?”

“She’s cheeky,” he said to no one in particular. “I like cheeky. Okay, let’s do this.”

He reached out his hand again, this time to take hers instead of to shake it. He led her back inside and asked the hostess for a table. The young woman walked them back to a cozy booth, where they sat across from each other and Kate got to order a glass of wine.

“This feels more like what I was expecting,” she said as she sipped the Chardonnay the waitress had delivered.

“I couldn’t have gotten us off to a worse start, could I?”

“Probably not.” Kate smiled. “I think you have a story to tell me, though.”

He sighed and looked away. “I told myself I wasn’t going to tell you. Not on the first date. I wanted a chance for you to get to know me. Sometimes when people find out, it’s all they see. I didn’t want to be defined by that. It’s not who I am.”

Kate could appreciate that, but it didn’t make her any less uncertain of the situation. “I don’t want to define you. But I think I need to know…”

“I hit a cop,” he told her. “I can tell you he was a bad cop. I can tell you I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I can also tell you I was drunk. I’m not a drunk,” he said, lifting his beer. “This happened to be a bad night for me. I can tell you all of that but unless you know me, trust me, then I sound like any other ex-con who deep down thinks he’s innocent.”

Kate wasn’t sure what to say to that, because he was right. She couldn’t say she knew him, so she couldn’t say she trusted him. What she knew deep down though was that she wanted to trust him. She thought that was a good sign. A person didn’t hire hundreds of employees without being able to read people.

She took another sip of her wine. “Was it awful? Being inside?”

“It was mostly boring. I’m not someone who handles being idle very well. When you have hours to sit all day thinking about shit…sorry, stuff. It can mess with your head.”

Kate reached across the table and put her hand on top of his. “Please, I’m not some delicate creature you have to watch your language around. I think we’ve already established I’m in awe of your colorful swearing.”

John shook his head and looked away from her even as he slowly pulled his hand back from under hers.

“Kate, that’s exactly what you are. You’re elegance and class. A lady. That’s the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw you. I’m hardworking, usually dirt poor unless the summer is a boon, and crass. I don’t see how those two worlds fit. I think if we were both smart we would finish our drinks, I would walk you to your car and we would call it a night.”

Kate rolled the stem of her wine glass between her fingers. “Is that what you want to do?”

She held her breath and then summoned up the courage to look him in the eyes.

The pause felt almost menacing.

“I think it’s for the best,” he said finally. Maybe grudgingly, Kate hoped. As if the words were a contradiction to his thoughts. It really didn’t matter if he was acting against his own wishes though. The result was the same.

“Okay. I don’t really need to finish my wine then,” she said, pushing the glass away. “Maybe we can just get the check?”

“Right.” He nodded with a sigh even as he signaled the waitress. “I screwed this up again. You haven’t even taken two damn sips and now I’ve just made the situation awkward. I’m so sorry.”

Kate shrugged. “You’re being honest. I can’t fault you for that. Please know that I didn’t intend to show off or anything with the fancy clothes. I mean I wanted to look nice, so I dressed up. Instead, I made you uncomfortable. Maybe if I had treated this a little more casually… Anyway, if anyone is to blame it’s probably me. In fact I’m certain it’s me. I’m awful at this aspect of my life. Always zigging when I should have zagged.”

The waitress dropped the check off and they both reached for it.

“Please,” he said. “Leave me some pride.”

A flush crept up her neck as she realized what it must have looked like. Especially after what he’d said about being dirt poor. Kate lifted her hand off the check. “I’m sorry… I’m just used to… You’re right. This was a mistake. I should go now.”

She stood up and left without another word, thinking about how quickly she might delete the dating app from her phone. She was halfway to her car when he caught up to her.

“Kate,” he said, reaching out to grab her elbow.

Turning toward him, she lost any pretense of good date behavior. “I want to go home. Can’t we be done?”

“No. You have to know you didn’t do anything wrong. This was about me,” he said gruffly. “I need you to understand you’re…”

“Beautiful and elegant,” she snapped. “So you said. A real lady you want nothing to do with. I get it. But I wasn’t exactly a real lady the other night, was I? Actually I thought I was rather slutty. Maybe that’s who you were expecting?”

His lips pressed into a flat line of displeasure and Kate thought about apologizing again for her rudeness. What was the point?

“I said I would walk you to your car and I’m going to do it,” he said, following behind her as she started walking away.

Kate pulled out her keys and hit a button that would unlock the driver’s side door. She stood in front of the silver Mercedes and figured that was just another strike against her.

He leaned around her to open her door and she had to step back to let him, which ended in an awkward moment with her back pressed up against his chest so that when she turned to say a final goodnight she was only inches from his mouth, his lips.

His first thought of her had been that she was a real lady. Her first thought of him had been that she wanted to kiss him.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Just one time.”

Then she felt his hand behind her neck, his mouth pressed up against hers and they were kissing. It was almost startling. Like something she’d forgotten she’d been able to do. Kate, however, quickly remembered and opened her mouth. She felt the erotic push of his tongue against hers and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her in closer, then dropped his mouth to place a kiss right below her ear.

“Damn you, you even smell like class,” he muttered even as he traced kisses down her neck.

But the word was like a glass of cold water dropped on them, forcing Kate to remember this hadn’t been a fun date. Certainly not a date that should have ended with a toe-curling kiss.

She pushed against his chest and immediately he took a step back. “Goodnight, John.”

“Kate, wait…”

She was done listening to him and she certainly didn’t want to hear another apology. She got in her car and closed the door and John simply backed away. She didn’t wave goodbye and she didn’t look at him, except when she pulled away she couldn’t help but check the rear view mirror.

He was still standing there watching her go, and even though she couldn’t see him clearly anymore she thought he looked sad. Why that made her sad in return seemed completely irrational.

S
ally was practically
bouncing on her toes when she popped into Kate’s office that Monday.

“Well? Don’t keep me in suspense. How was it?”

Kate looked up at her well-intentioned assistant. She probably never should have told her about the date. Now she had no choice other than to recap it, which was something she desperately didn’t want to do. “Okay, imagine the best date you ever had…”

“Yes, and?”

“And this was the opposite of that. Next time you get near my phone to load a dating app I’m chopping off your fingers.”

Sally’s face fell and she took a seat. “That bad?”

“The worst.”

Except for the kiss, of course. The kiss was amazing. The kiss had her up all night. The kiss she couldn’t forget. Which might have made the whole experience that much more terrible because she couldn’t forget any of it.

“Loser, jerk, boring…”

No. None of those things. Nervous, hot, but not for her.

“Try an ex-con.”

It was cruel, Kate thought, to use that against him. Knowing he didn’t want to be stereotyped for that one event in his life. However, it was the easiest shortcut to explaining why the date had been a bust.

“Holy crap! For real? Was he all tattoos down his face and stuff?”

Kate shook her head, understanding now John’s concern with being truthful about his past. People hear
convict
and an image immediately comes to mind.

“Anyway it doesn’t matter,” Kate said, wanting to discuss anything but him. “I’m not going to see him again.”

“Okay, well then what about another approach? I was talking to my friend Carol about you…”

Kate’s eyebrow rose a fraction.

“No, hear me out. I was just saying how great it is that you want to get out there and start having some fun. Anyway, she’s got a co-worker, divorced now for about a year, who is looking to date as well. He’s forty-seven, a lawyer, no kids and according to Carol total eye candy. That means super hot.”

Kate scowled. “I know what eye candy is.”

“Anyway I think you should give it a shot. First, it will help you put the awful experience behind you, and second I think hot lawyers are going to be more your speed than ex-cons.”

The thought of going through another blind date was about the equivalent of drinking castor oil, but Kate realized if she didn’t keep at least trying then next Christmas was probably going to be a lot like this last one.

That was, until she started talking to John. Who kissed like heaven.

“Okay, set me up.”

Sally clapped her hands. “Awesome. Who knows? This guy might be the one!”

“Okay, we’re done with my love life. Let’s get back to work.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kate scowled again, but Sally just chuckled as she bounced out of the office. There, another date. That was good. Someone not John. Because she was never going to see or hear from him again.

At some point she would stop being forlorn about that.

“Dude, what’s your
problem? You’re staring at that rope like you’re going to will it untied.”