You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder
Authors: Kate Kelly,Peggy Ramundo
Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Diseases, #Nervous System (Incl. Brain), #Self-Help, #Personal Growth, #General, #Psychology, #Mental Health
Also by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo
The ADDed Dimension:
Everyday Advice for Adults with ADD
(with D. Steven Ledingham)
The ADDed Dimension:
Celebrating the Opportunities, Rewards, and Challenges
of the ADD Experience
(with D. Steven Ledingham)
You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!
The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults
with Attention Deficit Disorder
KATE KELLY
AND
PEGGY RAMUNDO
Foreword by Ned Hallowell, M.D.
SCRIBNER
New York London Toronto Sydney
DISCLAIMER
This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its authors. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that the authors and publisher are
not engaged in rendering medical, health or any other kind of personal professional services in the book. The reader should consult his or her medical, health or other competent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise,
which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.
SCRIBNER
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Copyright © 1993, 2006 by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo
All rights reserved,
including the right of reproduction
in whole or in part in any form.
First Scribner trade paperback edition 2006
SCRIBNER and design are trademarks of Macmillan Library Reference
USA, Inc. used under license by Simon & Schuster,
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For information about special discounts for bulk purchases,
please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales:
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Manufactured in the United States of America
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
Library of Congress Control Number: 9440538
ISBN-13: 978-0-684-80116-2
ISBN-10: 0-684-80116-7
ISBN-13: 978-0-7432-6448-8 (Pbk)
ISBN-10: 0-7432-6448-7 (Pbk)
eISBN-13: 978-0-743-28894-1
This book is dedicated to my partner and soul mate,
Paul Ravenscraft. He is the answer to a prayer for one who
shares my vision of life as a spiritual journey. Namaste, Paul.
Kate Kelly
I dedicate this book to:
Mom and Pop Eliezer, Roger, Nona and Noni,
Uncle Bill, Phil and Julie.
You have left this earthly plane and I miss you. Though I can’t see
or touch you anymore, I hold each of you in my heart—your
memory lovingly wrapped and carried forever in my soul.
Peggy Ramundo
Contents
Acknowledgments
Foreword by Ned Hallowell, M.D.
Introduction
ADD—Now and Then
How to Read This Book
ADD and Your Potential
ADD Is a What?
Chapter 1 Understanding the Disorder That Makes Us Feel Lazy, Stupid or Crazy
Understanding Through Education
About Definitions, Descriptions and Diagnostic Dilemmas: Is It ADD or ADHD?
Specific Symptoms of ADD
Inattention
Impulsivity
Hyperactivity
But … Why??
Research Tools
The Basics of Neurology
Current Theories About Key Players in ADD
Information Explosion
How Common Is ADD?
Chapter 2 How Are We Different?
Different Doesn’t Mean Defective
So How Do the Differences Affect ADD Adults?
Chapter 3 The Not So Fine Art of Coping
Character Sketches of People You May Know
Chapter 4 I Know … I Think … I Have ADD: What Do I Do Now?
Your Job as a Mental Health Consumer
Who’s Who?
The Diagnostic Evaluation
Getting Down to Work
Chapter 5 About Balance, Toyotas, Porsches, Circus High Wires and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
The Value of Examining Balance Issues
How-To’s of Achieving Balance
The Twelve Steps of A.A.
Evaluating Balance Issues in Your Life
Is Your Life in Balance?
Balancing Acts Aren’t Just for Circus Performers: Climb on the High Wire But Make Sure There’s a Safety Net Underneath!
Evaluating the “Should-Do’s” and “Must-Do’s” in Your Life
How-To’s of Slicing and Dicing
Balance Maintenance
Chapter 6 The Art of Relating: In Groups and Friendships
The Art and Science of Communication
Hazard—Social Slippery Spots!
On the Other Hand
Relationships: A Play with Multiple Acts and a Cast of Many Characters
Act I: The Art of Relating in Groups
Notes: Act I
Synopsis: Act I
Survival Tips: Act I
Act II: The Art of Relating in One-to-One Encounters
Notes: Act II
Synopsis: Act II
Survival Tips: Act II
Chapter 7 The Art of Relating: Getting Along on the Job
Act III: Getting Along on the Job
Notes: Act III
Synopsis: Act III
Survival Tips: Act III
What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?
Chapter 8 The Art of Relating: In the Dating Game and the Family
Act IV: The Dating Game
Notes: Act IV
Synopsis: Act IV
Survival Tips: Act IV
Act V, Scene 1: The Art of Relating in the Family
Notes: Act V, Scene 1
Synopsis: Act V, Scene 1
Survival Tips: Act V, Scene 1
Act V, Scene 2: The Art of Relating in the Family
Notes: Act V, Scene 2
Synopsis: Act V, Scene 2
Survival Tips: Act V, Scene 2
Chapter 9 From Mealtime Mania to Outing Ordeals: How-To’s of Decreasing Discord
Mealtime Mania
Survival Tips for Decreasing Discord
Family Fun: An Evening at the Movies
Survival Tips for Outing Ordeals
Chapter 10 Gender Issues and Sexuality
Sexy Brains and Hormones
The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease
Self-Esteem
The Impact of Sexual Risk Taking
Housekeeping Is the Job Description from Hell for ADDers
Women with ADD Are Likely to Have Children with ADD
and
Be the Primary Parent
Women Want to Know
What Does This Mean for ADD Women?
What Can You Do To Be Proactive in Your Own Treatment Given This Information on Hormones and ADD?
What About Pregnancy—What Can You Expect as an Expecting ADD Woman?
Do Men with ADD Have More Issues with Anger Management?
Sex and the ADDult
ADD and Sexual Differences
Chapter 11 Dynamics of ADD in Organizing: Mechanics and Methods
Life Is Difficult for the Organizationally Impaired
Creating Order—Where Do You Start?
General Mess Management
General Office Management
Practical Tools for Mess Management
Paper Pile Management
To-Do’s and Paper Pile M
is
management
Time Management
Chapter 12 Dynamics of ADD in Memory: Mechanics and Methods
Tuning Up Memory Techniques
General Learning Tips
A Final Word: Learning Disabilities and ADD
Chapter 13 Meditations on Meditation
Meditation? You Must Be Kidding