You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder (10 page)

Clearly, most people function best when the task or subject is something they know well. You don’t have to have ADD to be at a loss for words. But ADDers seem to experience this phenomenon on a regular basis. It results from a significant imbalance in action and
reaction capabilities.

Connections to the world are generally slow and inefficient while internal connections work with lightning rapidity. Output can be difficult because the ADDer has to synchronize his mental speed with his slower output. An inability to respond quickly to requests seems to be stubborn or noncompliant behavior. In reality, these behaviors can be manifestations of irregular
reaction capabilities. His mouth, brain and body just don’t cooperate very well in demand situations.

As many of us struggle with mismatched input/output capabilities, we feel out of control. We live in a world of paradoxes, a world that seems to toss us about by inexplicable forces. Our need for control doesn’t come from a desire to be one up on others. It is often a desperate attempt to manage
a situation so we can function with a degree of competence. Otherwise, it’s so easy to look and feel stupid.

ADD children may not work well in the group setting of a classroom but perform well with a tutor. An ADD adult can have difficulty working as a committee member yet perform admirably as the chairperson. He may stand around the kitchen of a friend preparing a dinner party, unable to figure
out how to assist. But he may successfully orchestrate a social activity of his own design.

These behaviors can make you feel lazy and bad about yourself. It’s important to remember that this is another piece of ADD. These contradictory behaviors can reflect your genuine inability to react quickly and efficiently to situations.

The Minuscule Mental Fuel Tank

Unless you happen to be in excellent
aerobic health, a frenzied hour-long chase through the park after your escaping Great
Dane would probably do you in for the afternoon. If a nap wasn’t warranted, a
kick back, put your feet up and read a book
break probably would be. You are exhausted!

This scenario is similar to the daily experiences of an ADDer. Though his body might not dash madly around a park, his thoughts can race around
his head. He is mentally tired. A rapidly working brain expends much energy and quickly uses up its daily allotment.

ADDers tend to process information at a mind-boggling pace and burn out just as quickly. An eight-hour workday can be torturous for someone whose mental energy and productive times simply don’t last long enough. Some have sufficient energy to get through the day but run out of steam when they get home. Families can’t believe that the slug in front of the TV could ever be of any use on the job.
For years, they have never seen him move off his couch!

Many of us think faster and fatigue more quickly than our non ADD peers. Each of us needs to be aware of the impact of cognitive fatigue on our work tempo. Some adults conserve their resources by coasting at work, particularly if their jobs aren’t too demanding. This strategy can backfire. Without a high level of motivation, the ADDer’s
job performance can really suffer. Conversely, the mental fatigue caused by a demanding job can overload his brain’s capacity to function well. The challenge is to conserve his mental energy by working at his own pace and rhythm.

Shutdown Susceptibility

What happens when the brain’s capacity to process information is exceeded?
It shuts down
. Many of us live in terror that we’ll shut down at
a critical moment and become useless in a crisis. We may freeze in response to loud noises or unexpected events and feel that we’re in slow motion.

An ADDer’s overloaded system can make him so tired he can barely move, talk or think. It is as if he is in a temporary coma. He experiences attempts at communication as assaults on his very being. He either ignores the assault or snaps an irritable
reply—taking any action is an impossibility.

An overloaded brain is similar to an overloaded computer system. If you load up the working memory of a computer with excessive data, it might crash, losing data or the functions of the software. Your program will be temporarily useless. With excessive sensory information, the brain can also suffer from overload.

Even the most efficient, resilient
person can become disorganized under certain conditions. Discoveries in the brains of individuals suffering from
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
are good examples.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a syndrome that can occur following frightening trauma such as war, sexual abuse or
natural disaster. The symptoms include nightmares, flashbacks, substance abuse and an exaggerated startle response.
Previously well adjusted people aren’t immune to the disorder—the symptoms can occur in anyone who has experienced severe trauma.

PTSD is not just a psychological problem. Psychobiological researchers have discovered actual biochemical changes in the brains of people with PTSD. It appears that the massive overload experienced in extreme situations can actually alter the brain.

Although no one can explain the biochemistry that causes shutdown, we know from experience that it’s troubling for many ADDers. Of course, we aren’t the only people who shut down under demanding situations. The difference is a matter of degree. It takes a fairly low level of stress for the ADD brain to yell “uncle.” And when it happens, it’s definitely not fun!

This baffling coma of shutdown
is troubling but essential for our continued well-being. It is as if our brains must stop the on-
slaught so we can heal ourselves and renew our depleted reserves of mental energy. Rather than fighting it, we need to give in to it and accept the self-imposed rest time. Our brains must recharge. Each of us has to find the best way to facilitate this renewal.

Undependable Memory and Learning Systems

If you look at a picture of the brain, you won’t find an area labeled The Memory. Memory is a process rather than an identifiable part of the brain. The function of memory is a system with multiple parts scattered throughout the brain. Some of the differences ADDers experience are related to problems with memory. In the following section, we will examine the impact of ADD symptoms on the memory
process.

The First Step of Memory: Acquisition.
The first step in the process, acquisition, is closely related to selective attention. Besides paying attention to incoming information, it involves a preliminary decision to accept and store it.

As ADDers, many of us feel embarrassed by how much we don’t know. Our selective attention deficits make it difficult to acquire information that never
even finds its way into our memories! The positive side is that an ability to notice things others miss results in a fascinating and eclectic storehouse of interesting knowledge!

The Second Step of Memory: Registration.
We have to register information before it can become part of memory. In this second step of the memory process, we consciously make an effort to secure the information in our
memories for subsequent recall. If we superficially register the data, we’ll have difficulty retrieving it later. Problems of arousal or alertness often impair adequate registration. We may only partially understand conversations, phone messages or directions and jump the gun on new tasks.

Coding
and
rehearsal
are two important parts of registration. Every time you use a file cabinet, you are
using a system of coding. You decide whether to file the piece of paper by subject, writer’s name
or type of required action. As you may recall from the discussion of spatial organization, this is no small task for some ADDers.

Registering information involves essentially the same kind of sorting and filing. We decide to code, or file, incoming information as a visual image, a word or a sound.
For example, we can code the name “Tom Thumb” in several ways. The code can be a “picture” of Tom, the midget with an enormous thumb (visual); a word, “finger” (verbal) or a sound, “Tom Thumb is a bum” (auditory).

Rehearsal is what children used to do in their one-room schoolhouses—memorizing by reciting their lessons aloud. We use rehearsal to practice and repeat information until we anchor
it in our memories. To be effective, rehearsal must be more than rote memorization. It must include
elaboration
of information. If you have ever memorized a word list by singing a silly song you created from the words, you have used rehearsal elaboration.

Rehearsal is another problem for an ADDer because it’s tedious and requires patience. These are usually not his best qualities! He is creative,
though, and can be quite inventive with the sometimes off-the-wall coding methods he designs.

The Third Step of Memory: Storage.
The third step involves storage of the processed information. There are four storage systems:
instant recall; active working memory; short-term memory;
and
long-term memory
. These storage systems aren’t characterized by their size but by their duration, or how long
information is stored in each.

Instant recall
has the shortest duration. Seeing the flash of lightning in your mind’s eye is an example of instant recall. Touch-typing also uses this kind of memory. The typist holds the key’s location in his mind only long enough to press on it.

Active working memory
functions much like the working memory of a computer. While you work, the words on the screen
are held in the computer’s temporary storage. If the
power goes out, you lose your work forever unless you have saved it to permanent disk storage.

RAM memory capacity varies from one computer to another. If you try to run memory-intensive software, your computer might respond to the overload with a shutdown and loss of data. If you’re lucky, it might give you a chance to close files or change
software by alerting you to its low memory.

Similar to RAM memory, your active working memory can shut down if you try to overload it. It’s too bad your brain doesn’t give clearer messages of impending shutdown—maybe something like, “This is your brain. I am preparing to self-destruct!” Complexity of detail seems to shrink the storage capacity. An ADDer often has a remarkably unreliable temporary
memory that regularly loses power and data. He begins the first step in solving a complex problem only to lose it as he undertakes the second step. The jigsaw pieces keep falling off the table before he can put the whole puzzle together.

Short-Term Memory
also functions as temporary storage. Its capacity is quite limited with a maximum of five seconds or seven items (plus or minus two). Its unique
limitations make it vulnerable to a variety of interferences. Distractibility wreaks havoc with short-term memory. It doesn’t take more than a brief mind trip for a person to lose data that he wasn’t mentally present to register.

An imaginative thinking style can also interfere with short-term memory storage. Elaboration and association of old and new data is a great anchor for long-term storage.
But it can compromise the quality of short-term storage that requires focus on specific details.

Long-Term Memory
is the permanent, seemingly unlimited storehouse of facts, experiences, values, routines and general knowledge. You can think of it as a huge bank vault that contains numerous safe-deposit boxes. Memories you need to store forever
are in a separate box deep inside the cavernous vault.
The ones you need to remember while you complete your errands are in your safe-deposit box right inside the vault’s steel door.

The data in this bank vault is
consolidated
, or translated into a permanent code. The code determines which box will store the information. When you identify a Honda, Buick and Ford as automobiles, you are using consolidation. From experience and learning, you form associations
by elaborating on the characteristics of each car and cross-referencing them to other vehicles.

A rich imagination enhances these associations and is an asset for long-term memory storage. Since an ADDer tends to be a conceptualizer rather than a rote learner, his consolidation skills can be superb. He may possess a wealth of information in his bank vault but routinely forget where he put his
car keys!