Your Little Secret (18 page)

Dabbing a chaste kiss to his lips, she found herself unable to deepen it, or apply more passion. Her once zealous behaviour whenever Connor was involved was dampened and lacklustre. She knew she needed to kick herself for acting like this. Ethan had rejected her big time on the phone, now she had to pick herself up, and restart again. It might be like University all over again, but at least she knew the pain daggering into her heart would end.

“
This
will be well worth the wait,” she literally vowed to him and gave him a wink. “Now, Mr. Pearce, what fun is there down South?”

“Fancy a trip to ICEBAR?” he asked and saw her look confused, but decided to interest her and impress her all at once. “Usually you need a reserved slot, but not me, babe, we can just walk right in.
Fancy going?”

“What about dinner?” she asked him, unsure of the expense that was going to come with this.

Connor smirked. “We’re going to Covent Garden. I made reservations before we left for the train.”

“You did?” Amber squeaked at him in shock. “What is this restaurant?”

“Balthazar’s,” he started smoothly, a hint of excitement in his tone. He was more than ready to indulge her in the good life. “I’ve had a lot of lunch dates with too many business men making acquisitions and high priced moves. I want to go and enjoy amazing food with a special girl in my life and enjoy the good life.”

“Is it pricey?” Amber pressed onwards, trying to keep her cool and not panic over price tags. After all, this wasn’t her life. She loved
Nando’s or TGI Friday’s, hell even a McDonald’s would have her sat happy for an evening.

Connor laughed and gently pushed her off. “Let’s go and find something else for you to wear.”

Gulping, Amber realised that sentence spoke more than it had to.

***

Amber walked into the grand restaurant and immediately felt out of place. Part of her wanted to 'Check-in' on Facebook to show off, the other half knew that wouldn't gain her much reward in a restaurant of this calibre.

Just as she began to shrink in on herself, feeling out of place, Connor's hand threaded around her back, his hand on her waist.

"You are drop dead gorgeous. Everyone will be envious," he whispered into her ear as they were shown to their table.

As Amber was handed a menu she gazed at the fine cutlery in front of her and Connor thanked the gentleman by name,
who gave him a strange smile and nodded at him.

Studying the menu Amber frowned. Leaning across the table gently she whispered to Connor. "It's all in French, babe. I never did French GCSE. Did you?"

Connor had to forbid the urge to burst out laughing at Amber's remarks. He loved her and all her craziness. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear he smiled contently at her. "Baby, order whatever's in English, sod the price and enjoy this yeah?"

Nodding at him, Amber looked around the restaurant at the other diners. "These people look really rich Connor. You sure this is okay?"

Looking up at her irritated, he wavered to the waiter, "I've told you, order what you want babe." As the waiter walked over he asked for the wine menu and studied it for a few seconds before handing it back. "Could we please have half a bottle of your finest Dom Pérignon champagne?"

The waiter looked at him, a curious look across his young features. His strong French accent was fluent in English. "Sir of course, you understand that is a £150 bottle
oui?" Nodding at him, Connor smiled over at Amber and grabbed her hand.

"It's her birthday, she's worth it." Giving them a slight an unnecessary bow, the waiter disappeared and Amber tried her hardest to feel in the moment. 

She was here, in London, in Convent Garden, with Connor Pearce, her favourite and most special person to her, yet she felt empty inside. Maybe the alcohol would loosen her up slightly. Connor's thumb ran gently across her knuckles back and forth and she felt such an amazing sense of security from him. Yes she was contradicting herself, but Connor had looked after her for such a long time.

"So, how's the work going?" she asked him grateful for having this time to speak to him. At least it wasn't a five minute phone call.

Staring at his menu, he took a moment to meet her crystal blue eyes and sighed. "Good I guess, God, how did I miss how beautiful you were Amber? How did I ever leave you behind?" Feeling the heat blush her cheeks she kicked him gently under the table, the compliment causing her to bite her lip.

"Hey," Connor teased "best behaviour please Yorkshire girl." Smiling at him she looked back at her menu.

"I guess I'll get asparagus to start please baby and umm." Staring hard at the title that said entrees she tried to figure out some desire from her hunger to flood her, but everything was too French and it wasn't McDonalds. "I'll have the grilled chicken." Looking up with a smile plastered across her face, Connor was buried in his iPhone. Amber watched him for a second as he smirked slightly at whoever he was talking to. "Clearly more interesting than me huh, babe?"

He didn't even look up to meet her eyes, just finished what he was typing and went back to the menu. Amber decided to let it go, and assume it was business.

The meal was neat and tidy and they casually spoke through the meal. Watching Connor and his true beauty still made her heart skip a beat, the fact he was so loyal and sweet to her when he needn't be. The bill came to around £300 but Connor just paid for it, in cash and left.

He had insisted on sharing a soufflé and dessert wine, and Amber was beginning to feel a little fuzzy. Connors fingers weaved hers as they walked through Convent Garden towards a taxi station so they could head to the ICEBAR.

Amber was awake well before Connor the next day. She thought maybe it was the alcoholic buzz she went to bed with, or the fact she was sleeping in a strange bed that had awoken her and took advantage of the silence.

Flicking through Facebook, she found nothing interested and scrolled back up to refresh the app on her phone. When she did, she was horrified to see a sight that had graced her only days ago. Eva had posted a photo of Ethan sleeping with the caption ‘My man, fast asleep after our wild night out together. Love me some Ethie, and cannot believe he thinks I’m the girl he’s going to spend the rest of his life with! I’m so lucky he chose me.”

The sinking feeling in her heart disappointed her. It was a sign that said how Eva had won this round by affecting her so much, and the fact that Ethan had used those words hurt her. She closed her eyes as tears beckoned forth, and Ethan’s voice filled her ears and tortured her.
It's supposed to be me and you, it always was Ambi.
Shaking her head, she added salt to wounds by seeing the comments. She scoffed to herself as she saw twenty-four likes already and Ethan’s name establishing the first comment.

“Not the best photo, babe, but too right, girl!
You and I, Eva. We were supposed to be together again, and I made the best damn decision with you,” Amber tearfully whispered the words and wondered what really went so wrong.

Immediately she locked her phone and looked down at Connor. Even though the same feeling didn’t wash over her like it had when she had woken to Ethan, Amber couldn’t deny that an actual Adonis slept beside her.

Biting the bullet, she moved the sheet down his body so she could wake him, and then saw his eyes open and set upon hers. Beginning to push his boxer’s down, she knew this was Connor’s favourite wake up ever.

“
Mmm, you’re feeling frisky,” Connor grinned sleepily, allowing Amber to pull his boxer’s off entirely. He watched her literally prowl back up the bed, her body covering his inch by glorious inch. “I knew I shouldn’t have worn boxers,” he joked as she finally reached him and kissed him. This time, however, she worked with the over indulgent passion and lust that she had lacked the day before.

Pulling back, she gazed lazily at him, drinking in the sight of his perfection. “I’m ready to enjoy this time with you,” Amber purred at him, coming to straddling him and sat on his stomach. “I’m sorry for my stupid behaviour. I just want you to know that I was a little overwhelmed yesterday and shocked by this life.” She kissed his chest, feeling the smoothness of his skin under her lips each time. “Now I’m going to make it up to you and really start this break away properly.”

As she moved a little, Connor couldn’t help but grin. His hands came up to land on her hips and he didn’t care if there was foreplay or not. He had been hard for Amber since watching her dress to go to Balthazar’s the previous evening.

Amber said no more, she kept her eyes on him as she slide onto his hard erection and felt him fill her and thrust delight into her entire body. She couldn’t withhold the moan that slipped from her, and the moment Connor groaned out in pleasure, Amber leaned down to kiss his bare chest again before riding him with the starting of a paced rhythm. She needed this to recover, to heal,
to really set her heart on the right path.

Sitting back up, her hands clawing his bare chest, she continued to rock upon his body, drawing them closer to a climax. She heard him grunt and groan beneath her prowess, and Amber realised with each new thrust she elicited that she didn’t feel as dirty as she knew she should. Maybe all she needed was to give herself to Connor so to find absolution.

She felt his hands on her hips as he came, and as worked him until she followed him into the blissful ecstasy. Literally collapsing against Connor’s chest, she rose up a little, feeling the fulfilment of his cock disappear as she pulled away from his stick rock hard cock.

“Thank you,” he whispered at her, breathless and in awe. “You’ve never done it like that.”

“I’ve been on top multiple times,” she chided with a grin, kissing him. “I like these wake ups though.”

“Me too,” he grinned at her. “You really are a beauty, Amber. If I could, I would keep you locked here with me and never let you go.”

“Maybe you can,” she joked with him.

“I will, but you and I are going sightseeing!” he exclaimed at her excitedly. “Then I am keeping you in bed all tomorrow.”

“Sounds a good plan to me,” she told him and began to sit up a little. “Want a cup of tea?” Amber asked, biting her lip as she remained spent. She could easily get them a drink and crawl back under the covers.

“
Mmm,” Connor moaned as she moved off him. “Sounds good. Remember to make mine-”

“Strong.
I know, I know,” Amber replied with an eye roll and nodded. She dropped him a kiss and then stood up, taking her phone with her and grabbing one of his shirts to use as a cover up.

She slowly buttoned up the shirt, the sleeves too long for her. However, she loved the feel of a man’s shirt on her. It felt so much better than
her own clothes. There was a certain comfort to it. Something that brought a small smile to her lips.

Before putting the kettle on, Amber made a point to put her
iPhone on the iPod dock and pushed play. She’d long forgotten what the last song she had played was, and was happy when cover art for Beyoncé appeared. Pushing play, she went and put the kettle on to boil and grabbed two mugs.

As the song began to play, she automatically began to sing with it. Only turning from the cupboard with the two mugs in her hands to stare at her phone in horror, and she said nothing, just listened to the
Start Over
song, feeling every word begin to haunt her, taunt her, abuse at her already beaten heart.

I feel weak, we've been here before. 'Cause I feel we keep going back and forth. Maybe it's over, maybe we're through.  But I honestly can say I still love you. Maybe we reached the mountain peak. And there's no more left to climb. And maybe we lost the magic piece. And we're both too blind to find. Let's start over.

She didn’t know who it made her think of most right about now – Connor or Ethan. Both men’s faces came into her mind just as powerful as the words filled the room and she found her eyes beginning to well with tears. She didn’t want to lose either, but she felt the niggling need to constantly pick at them. She then remembered Ethan’s comment on Eva’s picture and the choice diminished. Ethan had taken the choice out of her and made it easier for her. Sure she had lost the man she knew started her first true love, but he had also trampled on it. God knew what she was going to go back to when she finally went back in a few days.

“Hey, babe,” Connor’s voice abruptly took over and she jumped, dropping the mugs. “Shit, Amber, what’s wrong with you?” he asked, running over to pick her up and remove her from the broken shards of crockery. “What’s got you so quiet and jumpy?”

Amber shrugged. “That song just had me thinking that’s all.”

“You want to start over?” Connor asked aghast, terror in his voice that their old relationship would be ashes for them to build from.

Looking into Connor’s eyes, she gave a small smile, wondering if she would regret her next words, “I think we are. We’ve definitely started a new chapter, haven’t we?” she asked him gently, and looked at his face, drowning in his beauty. “We’ve changed. I feel this is a do over on our relationship.”

Connor’s lips twitched a little for a moment, the smile waiting to split across his face. “I definitely think we’ve taken a new turn. You’re only steps away from living with me full time.”