Zen (15 page)

“Oh, is it time for bath and bed? Do you need to put away your toys like a good girl?” he teased her.

“Shut up! My mother is the most annoying, controlling person I have ever met. And I can’t get away from her because she is family.” Shawna closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead in frustration. She tried to keep herself focused on her job. That was what she usually did and why she ended up with no personal life.

By noon Shawna and Jimmie had picked about twenty pictures, five for the women’s shelter charity, five for the children’s healing facility event, and ten that covered last night’s fight and after party. Shawna was going over her notes that she had taken when Zen showed up.

“How was your morning practice?” she asked, keeping a professional tone.

Zen was confused. Were they back to acting like strangers again. “Good. How was your morning?”

“Jimmie and I picked out some great shots of you. Want to see them?” She motioned for Jimmie to grab the pictures off the table.

“Here you go.” Jimmie handed them to Zen.

Zen shuffled through them. He took longer at the shots with the children. He smiled at them. “These are great.”

“Good, we’ll send the copies off to our editor. I have to finish writing up the small editorials for each event. Then we’ll start editing the video interviews. I think it is going to make a fantastic spread for the magazine.”

“Ready for lunch?” Zen asked her winking.

Shawna blushed. “Yeah.” She grabbed her purse and stood. “See you later, Jimmie.”

“Later, Baker.”

Zen closed the door as they walked into the hallway. Once out of sight he couldn’t contain himself anymore. He grabbed Shawna by the shoulders and turned her so she was pressed against the wall.

“Zen?” Shawna gasped.

He took her in a heated kiss. “I have missed you,” he moaned against her lips. He nibbled and probed until she opened for him.

“Zen,” she sighed his name with pleasure as her body instantly responded to him. Her only thoughts were to get closer to him. The sound of the elevator woke them both from their drug-induced embrace.

“Come on.” Zen grabbed her hand and half pulled her behind him toward the elevator. When the doors opened they stepped in and were met with a pleasant surprise.

Zen’s face lit up with joy. “Talon, Lindy. It’s good to see you. Congratulations on your baby.”

Lindy was holding their infant daughter in her arms. Talon stood beside her protectively. Lindy smiled at Zen. “Her name is Hope. We’re taking her home.”

“Hope is a beautiful name. May I hold her?” Zen asked.

“Of course,” Lindy said. Talon grunted. She moved toward Zen’s outstretched hands. “Crook your left elbow so her head is…” She watched as Zen took the baby with expert technique and ease. “That’s right. How did you know what to do?”

“At the breeding facility I helped out a lot with the pregnant and new mothers. The death rate for infants was high because there wasn’t enough staff to care for the mothers and babies, so they allowed other halfsies to help out. I always had a way with kids so…” He made kissy faces at little Hope and she gurgled for him. “Aren’t you the sweetest thing.”

Shawna stared at him fascinated. Every time he smiled at the baby she felt fluttering inside her heart. She pictured him holding their baby in his arms and she felt a need so great to make it happen.
What the hell? Where are these thoughts coming from?
She was too young to have her biological clock ticking.

Zen placed a light kiss on the baby’s forehead and handed her back to her mother. They said goodbye as Talon and his family got off the elevator. Zen watched them leave with a sad emotion on his face. He quickly tried to hide it but Shawna had seen it. She didn’t say anything.

They got off on Shawna’s floor and headed to her suite. She wondered if the mood was gone. He hadn’t said anything since Talon and his family left them. She couldn’t get the images of Zen holding the little baby out of her head. He was a natural with children. But for some reason, holding little Hope had made him sad.

She opened her suite and they walked inside. Zen immediately took her into his arms kissing her breathless. The man made love with his lips and damn he was good. She felt herself being lowered to the couch as her clothes were being removed from her in a swift manner.

Their lips fused as their naked warm flash came together. Zen flipped them around so she was on top straddling him. “Ride me, Shawna. Ride me hard.”

She lowered herself onto his staff, sinking on him until he was fully sheathed inside of her. “Oh yes,” she moaned at the feeling of fullness.

Zen reached up and cupped her plump breasts. It amazed him at how soft she was. He tweaked her nipples into stiff points. He leaned up so he could take a hardened point into his hot mouth. He bit down gently causing Shawna to lose control.

She moved her body up and down. Slow and fast then she would twist her hips just a fraction and Zen could swear he saw stars. “Oh God, baby. Do that again.”

She smiled at him and did it over and over. The fire within her built until she felt like a volcano that erupted in lava of passion. Zen followed soon after soaking her insides with his hot wet seed. She felt every bit of his release and loved it. Loved how he made her feel. Loved how she could make him loose his control.

Afterwards she lay in his arms content, not willing to move. She could hear his heartbeat under her ear. “Zen?”

“Yes.”

“Why did holding Hope make you sad?” She lifted up to rest on her elbow so she could look into his eyes. They immediately clouded with an emotion she couldn’t name.

“It’s not a happy story to tell, Shawna.” He wouldn’t look directly at her.

“Tell me anyway,” she prompted, hoping she wasn’t pushing too much.

He sighed. “Those facilities the haflsies were sent to, were used for many reasons. The main one was for breeding. I had went directly from the lab facility where I was created to an endurance facility and last to the breeding facility when I turned sixteen. By that time the doctors and scientists realized that we could only breed if we were of maturity. Felons mature at seventeen. For a year I had a reprieve from their demands. I was able to spend time with the other halfsies, especially the females and the few children that were there. Once I turned seventeen, they immediately had me thrown into the program,” he paused as memories started flooding back.

She touched his chest gently. “You don’t have to talk about it if it upsets you.”

“Yes, I do. You need to know these things. Especially if we are going to be in a relationship.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Are we? In a relationship?”

“Absolutely, fucking yes! An exclusive one too, because I do not want to share you with another male,” Zen told her.

Happiness filled her heart. No one really wanted her before. Her father wanted a family for his political image and her mother wanted her status. But no one ever really wanted her. “That exclusivity goes for you too, Zen. I won’t share you with other women. I know you have to sign autographs and take pictures as part of your job, but I won’t accept you cheating on me.”

He cupped her face with his big hand. “Honey, I am yours, only yours.” He leaned forward to kiss her.

When they pulled apart Shawna gave him a dazzling smile. “Could you finish your story?”

He nodded. “The very first breeding test they gave me, was successful. It was with a pretty Beastial halfsie that was given a number instead of a name, number two-two-zero. She was a little older than me and had bred before. She was in heat and we were given the drugs that made us more active sexually. The drugs never really worked on my species, Felons. So they kept trying to change the drug to make it work on me. With 220 in heat and having the drugs in her system, she suffered greatly. I couldn't stand by and watch it without helping her somehow. The end result was that she got pregnant.”

She waited patient for him to continue. “Normally the male is separated from the female once the breeding is successful. However, I convinced one of the female scientists that Felon infants in the womb needed to stay close to both parents for the pregnancy to continue. It worked because I was allowed to stay with 220. However, nothing is ever without a price.”

“What was the price?” Shawna hated to ask it.

“I was forced to service the female scientist. She became clingy and obsessed over me. When I told her I wanted to bond fully with 220, she went crazy. She had me removed and then beat 220, causing her to miscarry and in turn die while trying to give birth. My baby died within minutes. I got to hold my son for two minutes while he breathed before there was no life left,” his voice choked.

“I am so sorry, Zen. I had no idea.” She placed gentle kisses on his forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, and finally his lips. She couldn’t imagine the pain he must have felt at losing his child. And he was so young himself to have been put through something like that.

“The IDJ came and released us not long after that and since I was close to turning eighteen, I was considered an adult. I never got to be adopted into a real family. It was the one thing I have always wanted my whole life.” He felt vulnerable telling her that. But if they were to have a real relationship, he had to trust her with his feelings. It was something he never did with anyone else. That alone should show her how much she really did mean to him.

“Well, I was raised in what some would call a privileged family and it wasn’t all that great either. It was very lonely. I was always trying to please other people so I could earn their love.”

Zen nodded. “It is an impossible task, trying to please others. I had to do it for survival. I find myself still attempting it even now, but I still find myself longing for …”

“Acceptance, acknowledgement, and love,” Shawna finished for him. He nodded. It was amazing how much they actually had in common. She wanted so much to give Zen all the things he never had but always wanted. She was scared though. Two big questions seemed to lurk in her mind.
What if he didn’t feel the same? What if he loses interest in me and goes after another woman?
She would be devastated. She decided to change the subject.

“Nigel said there is another event tonight. What do you have to do to get ready for your fight?”

“I’ll go back to my suite to shower and change. I have to get down to wardrobe and makeup in two hours and then they will take a few photos of me before the fight. I’m not so pretty afterwards for those kinds of things. You’re coming right?” Zen moved to sit up. He bent to retrieve his jeans.

“Yeah. Nigel set me and Jimmie up with VIP seats for all the events.” She frowned when Zen growled. “What?”

“Sorry. I just don’t like you around Nigel, or any other male for that matter.”

“Jealous?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Extremely,” he admitted, shading a little pink.

She kissed his shoulder. “You don’t have to be. I'm only interested in you.”

He leaned over and took her lips. “I feel the same for you, only you.”

She shoved him off the couch catching him by surprise. “Go get ready or we’ll end up going at it all night and you’ll miss your fight.”

“Was that supposed to encourage me to leave?” He gave her a sexy smile.

“Go!” she giggled as she moved out of his reach and put the couch between them.

“Walk me out.”

“You just want another kiss,” she accused with a laugh as she pulled on her clothes half-hazard. She forgot her bra and panties. Oh well.

He grabbed her hand and tugged her to the door. He opened it and stepped halfway out. He took her into his arms. “You are something else, Shawna Baker.” He lowered his head and kissed her until her knees felt weak. When he released her and looked up, his eyes locked onto Rage’s furious ones. He started to go into Beastial mode.
Oh shit!