Zombie Lover (42 page)

"Yes. Not by the tees or you. By my talent."

"Okay, so you can't be harmed by magic. But that doesn't change the coincidence of our meeting. I could have come here any other

day."

"On the contrary," Justin said. "You were traveling because the zombie kissed you. The three kings were traveling because the zombies were stirred up looking for you. The events are connected."

"1 believe that we were required to interact," Bink said. "There must be some devious magical threat to my well-being, so my talent is acting to turn it aside by seeming coincidence. So it put us together, and is keeping us together. This adventure is clearly not yet finished."

"So my whole adventure is just to help you avoid some magical threat?"

"Not necessarily. My talent may simply be borrowing from what is most convenient. You were in the vicinity, so it arranged to have you join us. You certainly were helpful in getting us to the Isle, and in shielding us from initial problems with the women of the Isle. There may be more coming."

"Well, if that's why I'm here, I like it," she decided. "But what could threaten three Magicians?"

"It may not be a physical threat." Bink said. "It could be something that I need to get done, lest I be truly pained by failure to do so. I don't know what that might be, but perhaps it will be apparent after it has been accomplished." He paused, thoughtfully. "For one thing, Chameleon and I were youthened by sixty years, and there was surely reason for that. There must be something I can accomplish as a young man that I could not as an old one. I admit it's nice to be

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young again, physically, but so far I have seen no real justification for it."

"It is a good quest/on. Youth is not granted to folk just because they may want it. If it were, every living person would be perpetually young."

"I don't know. Being young doesn't seem all that great to me."

"It is the nature of life to have unrealistic dreams You should enjoy your youth while you have it."

"Maybe so." But she was unconvinced.

"Land ahoy!" Prince Dolph called from up front.

"That's the Isle of Wolves," the boat said. It moved to shore, waddled onto the beach, and stopped. "King Wolverton's den is down that path."

"Thank you," King Dor said as they disembarked. "I hope our trade of conveyances was worthwhile for you."

"It certainly was," Para replied. "I loved flying. And it was nice being able to talk aloud. And peering up under girl's skirts."

"I kept my skirt close and tight!" Breanna retorted hotly.

"But Tipsy Troll didn't, and her legs were pretty good, considering."

"Well, good luck peeking under other skirts," Breanna said, mollified. She was discovering that this particular game could be fun to play, so her outrage was mostly for show.

They walked down the path, and the boat waddled to the sea and paddled smoothly away. On impulse Breanna turned and waved to it, and saw it rock from side to side, waving back.

"You are becoming more solicitous of others, including the inanimate," Austin commented.

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4 O
     
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"

So?

"/ favor it."

Suddenly a wolf appeared. Its fur was metallic. It screeched to a stop when it saw them; the squeal came from its four paws scraping along the ground. Then it became a man. He was furry enough on the body to remain fairly decent. "Who are you, and what do you want here?" he demanded.

"We are three kings and a young woman, come to see King Wol-verton."

"How did you reach this isle? The interface is off."

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"We were conveyed by Para, the web-footed boat, from the Isle of Women."

"You couldn't have gotten away from there unmarried."

"We are married. The woman is beneath the age of marriage."

"Oh." The werewolf reconsidered. "T am Wolfram. Follow me." He resumed wolf form and loped back down the path.

Soon they eame to a hill. A sign labeled it Wolverton Mountain. This was evidently the home of the king wolf.

Sure enough, a large wolf emerged from a den as they reached the top of the hill. He became a man. "Why, you are King Dor of Xanth," he said, surprised. "The one who makes things talk."

"You bet, bushytail!" the nearest stone called.

"Yes," King Dor agreed. "We accidentally drank some lethe water, and forgot where our home is. If you would be so kind as to tell us—"

"I'll be glad to—after you do a service for me."

"Listen, furface—" Breanna started.

But Justin cut her off. "We are on their Isle It is best to honor their conventions "

"Of course," King Dor said smoothly. "What can we do for you?"

"You can talk my son Jeremy into doing his duty and starting training to assume the kingship when 1 pass on to that great other hunting ground."

"He doesn't want to be king after you?" King Dor asked, surprised.

"He is in a mottled funk, and doesn't want to do anything."

"Well, we'll talk to him," King Dor agreed.

King Wolverton led them to the mottled funk, which turned out to be a grove of mottled funk trees. "He is in there."

Breanna smelled a strong, unpleasant odor: the smell of the funk blooms. It made her feel sad. She knew that no funks smelled good, but mottled funks were the worst.

They entered the grove, and soon discovered Jeremy Wolf, in wolf form, asleep on a bed of funk berries. The smell was verging into stench. "Hello," King Dor said.

"Go away," the funk bed said.

Prince Dolph assumed the form of a wolf. "Woof!" he said.

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Prince Jeremy opened one eye. It was obvious that he was a prince, because there was a small golden crown on his head. "Woof!" he retorted negatively.

So Bink tried. "We'd like to talk to you."

The face of the wolf became halfway human. "What you would like has no bearing."

"Let me try," Breanna said impulsively. She got down and planted a hot kiss on the face.

The eyes widened. The humanity spread from the face through the rest of the body, making him into a large and somewhat clumsy person. He still wore the crown. "Wow!" Jeremy said as a vaguely heart-shaped cloudlet dissipated.

"/ think some of the lip balm remained," Justin remarked.

"Serves him right."

Jeremy gazed at Breanna. "How old are you. Black Wave maiden?"

"Fifteen, of course. What's it to you?"

Jeremy sighed. "Too young."

"Too young for what?" she demanded, though she had a pretty good idea.

"Too young to be my ideal mate."

"I'm nobody's ideal mate, and least of all yours. I've already been through all that with one king. What kind of a girl do you think I am?''

Jeremy assumed wolf form and stared at her. Then he returned to human form. "I think you are an assertive runaway from your home village, with the talent of seeing in blackness, and a tree in your mind."

"He knows!" Justin exclaimed, amazed.

"How do you know that?" Breanna demanded, shaken.

"In my natural form I can read minds," Jeremy said. "Unfortunately, I can't do it in manform. I constantly seek a way to have that part of my talent expanded. Do you know a way?"

"No! And I don't want you poking around in my mind, so kindly remain in manform."

"You have spirit, and you're cute. I wish you were the one."

"Well, I'm nol. So why don't you do what your father wants and go into training for kingship?"

"Because of the curse."

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"What curse?" Nobody else seemed to be talking, so Breanna figured it was up to her.

"It is complicated.1'

"Well, maybe we can help/'

"I doubt it. But you might as well know. When I was young I roamed out from the isle, across the continent of Xanth, heedless of anything. I had no fear of monsters, because I could read their minds, and evade them before they could close on me. So I was somewhat reckless, and I fear in retrospect, at times obnoxious."

"Express sympathy, now that you have him talking We need to know his problem "

"Well, we all get that way at times," Breanna said.

"But I was chronically that way. Finally it caught up with me. In my brash ignorance I trampled a private garden of boysenberries and girlsenberries, ruining the crop. An old Curse Fiend Woman came out, saw the damage, and cursed me."

"The curse fiends all have the same talent they can blast a hole in the ground or kit! trees or blow people into oblivion with their curses."

"That must have been painful," Breanna said.

"This wasn't a normal curse. She was one of their ranking people, and had perfected a worse curse."

Breanna had an idea. "Can you project your thoughts too? So you can show me exactly what happened?"

Jeremy assumed wolf form. Then, suddenly, Breanna found herself in the trampled berry patch, with little boysen and girlsenberries squished all around her, their juice on her fur.

The old Curse Fiend appeared. "You despicable creature!" she shouted. "You have ruined my crop! May you be cursed to suffer as you have made me suffer."

"How's that?" Breanna Werewolf asked.

"These berries would have brought delight to courting couples, enabling them to recognize their ideal partners. So you will suffer the same loss of delight. There will be only one perfect life's companion for you, a foreign woman, but you will not be able to find her. She will have to find you, and you will know her only when she declares her love for you. But she will not know that you are her ideal mate, so will not look for you. And when she passes the age of twenty one without finding you, the two of you will never get together, and you

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will be doomed to be with some lesser creature, knowing that you might have had perfect happiness, but forfeited it by being thoughtless and stupid. Now depart, you cretin; the curse is complete."

Breanna departed, her tail between her legs. She knew that every word of the curse was true.

"That is one awful curse/ No wonder he is dejected Why should he want to be king, knowing that he will never have his perfect love?"

She came out of it, and was herself again. The three kings were looking at her. "Jeremy has a real problem," she said.

The werewolf, back in human form, nodded agreement. "I have looked everywhere, but found no perfect woman. Oh, there have been many who expressed interest in me, but when they did, I know they were not the one. They just wanted to be princesses or queens. I want the one who will love me for what I truly am, not caring about my status. I must find her before she passes twenty one, or lose her forever. And I can't find her."