Inconsequential (J+P series) (8 page)

Chapter 15

The movie everyone gathered around for was “Dazed and Confused”.  But there was a twist.  Every time a character said “man” we had to take a drink of beer.  This was Jen’s brilliant idea.  She had seen the movie and told us we needed to stick to beer or we would be two sheets to the wind before we knew it.  It was my first beer drinking game and I was excited to see how it went.  People at college did beer drinking games all the time so I was glad to have an opportunity to try one.  My plan was to take sips when it was time to drink so that I didn’t end up in trouble.  I didn’t care too much about the game, I was just enjoying being around my friends again and having fun.

The movie was at Jen’s room so I didn’t have to go far.  Her bitchy roommate, Lauren, was out with her latest boyfriend.  Ever since she made moves on Jared last year, I wrote her off.  She knew I had strong feelings for him but made moves on him anyway.  Since that day there has been a wall of tension between us.  I plopped down next to David and Mags.  I knew Mags and Tim would leave after a short while.  They made a huge effort to be a part of whatever festivities we came up with, even though they never drank.  They never looked down on us for it which made me respect them.  But as the movie progressed and the rest of us drank more, I could only imagine how annoying we would be to be around.
The movie began and the first utterance of “man” came out of the speakers. Jen stood and announced “Tip ‘em back!” and we all took a swig of our drinks.  The movie was pretty funny and very nostalgic.  Greg was sitting 2 people away from me and I caught his eye during one of the funny parts. He smiled at me and nodded a “hi” my way.  I smiled back.  Hopefully we were back on track.  I missed Jared’s presence though.  It was usually during movies when I found him cuddled near me.  Mags and Tim were cuddled together and David kept to his own personal space. 

Forty five minutes into the movie, Mags and Tim excused themselves.  I noticed I was opening my third beer and the movie was getting a lot funnier.  Once Mags and Tim left Jen announced it was a bonus round and everyone had to shotgun a beer.  I had never heard of this but everyone around me started awwing and had a look of laughter mixed with worry.  “What do you mean?”  I asked Jen.

“You punch a hole in the can, turn it upright, pop the top, and chug fast.”

Ugh.  I was not a huge beer fan.  I wasn’t sure I could drink a whole beer that fast. 

“You have 15 seconds to chug the whole beer or you have to take double sips till the movie ends.” She warned.  “Grab a pen and a new can of beer.”  Everyone reached into the center pile for a pen and beer and awaited the countdown.  Jen started from 10 and counted down.  “3, 2, 1...SHOTGUN!”  The sound of cans popping filled the room.  I turned my can upright and covered the hole with my mouth, pulled the tab and swallowed the river of beer flooding my mouth.  It was awful.  So bitter.  But I did it in the allowed 15 seconds.  Molly was the only one who failed to chug it all in the 15 seconds.  In fact, she was overwhelmed by it and had beer coming out of her nose.  I felt kinda bad for her, even though it was funny.  We all heckled her and resumed the movie watching. 

The beer was hitting me pretty hard.  In fact, I don’t remember much of the rest of the movie.  I just remember drinking when someone told me to.  I also must have stopped sipping and switched to large gulps after the shotgun.  Not good.  I felt so fogged up and tired.  I had a desperate need to find Jared.  I hated that he wasn’t there cuddled up next to me during the movie.  Stupid physics people.  “Take me to the guys’ side.  I need to ask Jared a question.” I demanded of David and Greg.

“He might not be back yet.” David offered.  “I guess you can hang with us till he gets back if he’s not there.”

“Cool, let’s go.” I slurred.  I felt nothing.  Everything was numb and I must have learned to teleport because I didn’t remember walking down the stairs and down the halls to the guys’ room.  I just remember leaving Jen’s room and suddenly I was in Jared’s old chair.  Greg put on some tunes and chilled in his chair.  David went to his room.

“No kissy kissy this time Greg - I love you man.  But I’m not screwing up that thing between us again.  You broke my heart.  So not kissing you again.  I don’t care how awesome of a kiss it was.”

“No kissing Perry.  Got it.” Greg smiled at me.  I closed my eyes and let the music carry me away.  The notes were like waves and I floated on the rise and fall of their harmonies.  I lost track of time.  I felt a nudge on my sock and looked up to see Jared staring down at me.  He was so gorgeous.  He had the perfect body, lean and muscular, tanned skin, broad shoulders, and strong jaw.  He took my breath away.  I smiled at him.

“Boy, you sure look happy.  How was the movie?”  He asked me.  I just kept smiling. 

“Good, how was your party?”

“Good.  Are you drunk?” he asked.

“A little.”

“Heard you wanted to ask me something, whatcha’ need?”

“I don’t know.  Guess I just wanted to see you.  And now I see you.”  I giggled.

“Perry, I think you need to drink a lot of water and go to bed.  You’re gonna be hurtin’ tomorrow.”  I heard him whisper to Greg “How much did she drink?  I’ve never seen her like this before?” Greg told Jared about the drinking game, “I think the shotgun did her in.”

“Oh shit.”  He turned to me and got down on his knees.  “Perry, Greg’s gonna take you back to your room.  Listen, you need to drink a ton of water and go to bed.  Got that?”

“You’re so cute when you play Daddy.” I smiled.

“Take her Greg.” Jared demanded and Greg helped me up.

When we got to the hall I begged Greg to let me say goodnight to David and his roommate.  “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Fine.”  We knocked on David’s door and he answered immediately.  He looked happy to see us.  “Perry wants to say goodnight to you guys.”

I stumbled into the room and was finding it hard to stand.

“I need to sit a moment Greg.  Come sit by me.”  I plopped on the couch and patted the spot next to me.

He shook his head no.  “I’ll give you two minutes to rest and then we head back up.”  God my head was so clouded.  I couldn’t remember anything or even think straight.  It was just so much work and it was making me so tired.  I spaced out and felt the music from their stereo carrying me away and let the sound of Greg and David talking quietly lull me to sleep.

Chapter 16

“She slept there all night?”  I heard the guys’ R.A. asking.  What was he doing on the girls’ side of the dorm at this hour?  My brain did not comprehend all the sensory inputs around me.  There was this swooshing sound in my head and the room was too bright to tolerate having my eyes open.  My mouth felt like it was packed full of cotton balls, bitter, beer flavored cotton balls.  Yuck.  David was talking to Greg nearby, something about a rough night and washing stuff off in the shower.  My brain was just not functioning.  I chanced a glance at the direction of the voices.  Too bright!  Ugh.  I squinted my eyes and saw David and Greg talking to their RA.  What the heck was I doing waking up on the guys’ side of the dorm?

I looked around and found myself laying on their foldout couch with a sheet over me.  I had on a t-shirt that was not mine and my panties, but my clothes were nowhere in sight.  Who the heck changed my clothes?!  I don’t remember much of last night.  The last thing I remembered was saying goodnight to everyone and sitting on David’s couch.  I must have fallen asleep or passed out from the beer.  Ugh, I shivered.  Just the thought of beer made me feel sick to my stomach.  I seriously need to ban alcohol from my list of vices.  Maybe Mags and Tim would let me hang with them, they were the only ones smart enough to stay away from the garbage.  I decided to sit-up and was overwhelmed with nausea.  I closed my eyes and breathed slowly through my nose till the room quit spinning.  I felt the couch/bed sink down so I opened my eyes to find David sitting next to me.

“Rough night Perry.”  It was not a question.

“What the heck happened?” I clearly had no idea and hoped he would fill in the gaps in my memory.

“Couldn’t hold your liquor.  Greg was going to take you to your room but you fell asleep on our couch.  Unfortunately, that’s not the end of it.  You got sick in the night and we had to change your clothes and do a bit of cleanup in the room.”

“Oh my God,” I muttered.  “I don’t remember any of it.”  Tears slid down my face from the shame of going to such a low point and having to have my friends take care of my sloppy ass.  “Thank you, and I’m so sorry.  I feel so ashamed.”  And I had to look down.  I couldn’t look him in the eye, it hurt too much.  What good friends David and Jim were to me.  “Who changed me?”  I don’t know why that suddenly worried me, but I had to know.

“I did, but I promise I looked away.”  I believed him, there was sincerity in his voice.  “Your clothes are drying now and should be done soon.  You should drink some water.”  He got up to grab me a bottled water. 

“Hey Puke-A-Saurus!  How you feelin’?”  Greg was being overly loud to annoy my poor head.

“Like someone ran over my body with their car.  Sorry about last night.”

“No worry to me.  I wasn’t up with you half the night.  David and Jim were.”  Greg said and smiled as he left.

Ugh.  Now what was I to do?  I owed them.

“Anything more need to be done to get your room back in order?”  I asked Jim.

“Nah, I think we got everything, we gave up on the rug but saved everything else.”

“So sorry.  Listen, I’ll replace the rug and buy you guys dinner tonight.”  I knew it was nothing compared to what they had done for me, but I had to repay them in some way.

David came back in the room with my clothes and they managed to make them look perfectly clean.  They excused themselves and I got dressed as quick as a hung-over person could.  I looked in the mirror and laughed at how awful I looked.  I had huge circles under my eyes and my hair was untamed.  I opened the door and found the boys talking with their RA in the hall.  I was worried he was scolding them for having a girl in their room.  But when I listened closer, he commended them on being great friends and taking care of me.  I gave them both hugs and said a shy “hi” to the RA before high-tailing it out of the boys’ wing.  I wished they had a teleport machine so I could teleport to my room and stay out of sight.  So much shame.

I got back to the room and Molly asked me for details of the night.  I begged her to not retell it to everyone and was confident that she would be true to her word.  I drank another bottle of water and crawled into the bean bag and watched mindless TV.  This day would be a wash for studying. I killed too many brain cells last night and needed today to let the fog lift.  I took a nap after lunch and went back to my bean bag chair till dinner. 

Jen came in around 4PM and shook the details from me.  “You puked all over their room?!”  Ugh.  She loved to glamourize the details.  “David undressed you?!  I bet he looked.  I don’t believe that he didn’t, do you?”

“Ugh, go away.  How the heck I am supposed to know?  I was unconscious the whole time.”

“Man oh man Perry, no more shotgun beers for you.”

“No shit.  Listen I promised I would treat David and Jim to dinner for helping me last night.  So get out, I need to call in a pizza.”  I didn’t need to be cordial with Jen, we just said what we felt and there were never hurt feelings.

“See ya’ pukey.”

“Ha Ha, you are so funny.  See ya’.”

Thirty minutes later I headed to the boys’ room with my money.  After the pizza David said he needed to talk with me.  “Ok, spill it.”  I was worried he would scold me for drinking too much.  There was no need for him to do that because I had already scolded myself multiple times today. 

“Let’s go to the stairwell.”  I had no idea why we needed to head to the stairwell to talk, but I felt I owed him for his help.  I followed him to the doors and we sat on different steps.  It was private in here, except when the random person came down the stairs. 

“So, what’s up?”  I was bracing myself for his lecture. 

“You know Perry, I care about you a lot.”  Oh God, here we go.  “You know that right?”

I nodded my head but found it hard to look him in the eyes, so I trained my eyes to a spot on the floor.  I needed to hear this and not get mad.  He took care of me and he had a right to lecture me on taking better care of myself.  Just then he made this whistling sound.  I felt chills go down my spine.  It was the same whistling I had heard walking home all those times.  I looked up at him and he smiled and shrugged.  I was torn between relief and anger.

“That was you?  You scared the crap out of me!  I thought you were an attacker stalking me.”

He snickered.  “Nah, I knew when you had late classes and tutoring sessions and I wanted to be sure you were safe.”

“So you FOLLOWED ME?”  My emotion was shifting from mad to shock.  “Each time?”  He nodded.  He kind of was stalking me.  “What the heck David?  I mean, thanks for looking out for me. But why did you do it?”  And he looked down at the same spot I had been staring at. 
 

“Because I think I’m in love with you.”  And I felt the giant tidal wave from my dreams strike down on me and carry me away.  This guy was so kind to me, took care of me when I was in my worst condition, escorted me home at night.  He was even good looking.  But I had no feelings for him past friendship.  How could I tell him that and not crush him.  I had been in this spot before.  In high school I had been asked out many times and I was not allowed to date until my senior year.  I had left 5 of the 7 guys crying.  Crying!  I was trying so hard to be kind and gentle and explain that it wasn’t up to me.  How was I going to handle this one?  I didn’t want to lose David as a friend, but I needed to be clear and not lead him on.  What an awful day this had become.

“I care a lot about you too David.  But I have 3 months more to prove myself here and I don’t have room in my life for a boyfriend.  Not right now.”

“It’s because of Jared isn’t it?”  He asked.  Just hearing Jared’s name brought butterflies and sparkles to my heart.

“No, I mean, I have always been interested in Jared, but he clearly wants nothing more than friendship with me.  So no, this is about schoolwork.”

“He’s such a dork.  How can he not see you as more than a friend?  Everyone knows you like him.  EVERYONE.  Even our RA.  He told me I was stupid for wanting to tell you how I feel because it was so clear that you have it bad for Jared.  But I thought since he is too blind to make a move, I would try.” 

“Everyone knows?  Am I that obvious?  I tried to let me feelings for him go when he started dating Tara last year.  I feel like I’m over him.  I mean he’s a great friend but it’s not moving forward.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty obvious and you clearly still have feelings for him.”

“Shit.  I’m so sorry David.  Please don’t be mad.”  I suddenly worried I might lose him like I had lost Greg.  “Please tell me we are ok - you and me?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”  He said and we embraced in a hug.  This time I was the one crying, not the boy.  I hated having to let him down but I didn’t want to lead him on when he could find someone else to fall for.  After our talk I said a quick goodnight to Jim and headed to my room.

Molly was on her way back from brushing her teeth.  “Get in the room quick - you won’t believe what just happened.”  We hurried in the room and I told her about my talk with David.

“Oh man, I knew he liked you.  In fact, I think they are all like boyfriends to you...David, Greg, and Jared.”

“What?!  No.”  She had no clue about the drama with Greg and I, and Jared floated in and out of my life randomly.  When he was in my life, he was playful, flirty, and an amazing sensor for when I was having an off day.  But they were not my boyfriends...just my really good friends.  “In fact, David said they all knew I had it bad for Jared and he couldn’t understand why Jared never sees that or acts on that. “

“Yeah, maybe it’s because you flirt with all of them.”  I looked up at her.  Where was this coming from?  She sounded bitchy.

“I don’t flirt with all of them!  I helped David study because the kid was so unmotivated.  Greg and I banter with each other.  Jared was the only one I would semi-flirt with and we all know I had a thing for him.”

“Just sayin’.  Throwin’ mixed signals out there might be making Jared think you like the other guys, and it might be making the other guys like you.”

“How can you say I am throwing out mixed messages?!  David just said that EVERYONE, including their RA knows I like Jared.  How is that mixed?”  She just shrugged and walked away.  What had gotten into her?  I grabbed my toothbrush and headed to the bathroom.  Hopefully, if I took long enough, she would be asleep and I wouldn’t have to resume that argument.