150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (3 page)

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Authors: Steve Miller

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Answer: C.
GlenorGlenda?
Bela Lu gosi appears as one of several narrators featured in one of the most jumbled and confusing movies ever made. His character is named “The Scientist” in the script, but the character is clearly intended to be God.

CREATURE WITH THE ATOM BRAIN
Clover Productions, 1955

PRODUCER
Sam Katzman

WRITER
Curt Siodmak

DIRECTOR
Edward L. Cahn

STARS
Richard Denning (
Dr. Chet Walker
), S. John Launer (
Capt. Dave Harris
), Gregory Gaye (
Dr. Wilhelm Steigg
), Michael Granger (
Frank Buchanan
), and Angela Stevens (
Joyce Walker
)

When police scientist Dr. Chet Walker (Denning) discovers that dead men are walking the streets of a California town, killing law enforcers and gangsters alike, it is only the first glimpse into a nightmarish case that will bring him face to face with impervious zombies created by Nazi science and the power of the atom in order to sate the vengeance of an exiled gang lord (Granger).

Why It Sucks

In the 1950s, people believed “the power of the atom can do anything.” Scientists smoked pipes and wore white coats to show how moral and reliable they were, while their wives stayed at home and looked pretty. This movie features all these things, overlaid by a storyline about corpses reanimated by nuclear-powered brains and nervous systems (which goes to show that the power of the atom can do some nasty things along the way). It's an example of dusty old sci-fi conventions that seem stale by today's criteria and that even by the standards of the 1950s were pretty awful.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Most Ignorant of Laws of Physics and Modern Technology
Award goes to …
Writer Curt Siodmak and director Edward L. Cahn for depicting Air Force jets flying very, very slooooowly over an urban area while searching for radioactivity.

And the Shoulda Thought This Through Award goes to …
The character of Frank Buchanan (Granger), who financed the “atomic zombies” project but had no contingency plans when things started to go sideways. Makes you wonder how he made enough money to back the crackpot scientist in the first place.

They Really Said It!

Dr. Chet Walker
: There seems to be some sort of definite pattern. Can't put my finger on it, but I do know that Hennessey and McGraw were killed for a reason.

Joyce Walker:
Well, it's all right then?

Dr. Chet Walker
: Well, for a while. I don't think they've gotten around to indiscriminate killings yet.

Betcha Didn't Know

This is the first film to use squibs to simulate gunshot wounds.

Screenwriter Curt Siodmack left Germany for the United States in 1937 after the Nazis came to power.

Trivia Quiz

What is a “squib”?

A: An animated effect added in post-production to simulate blood-spatter.

B: A tiny explosive attached to an actor or prop and used to simulate bullet impacts.

C: Movie biz slang for the person who supervises firearms on-set.

D: A special effects technician who throws tiny capsules at actors to make it appear they've been shot during a scene.

Answer: B. The originals were used to separate coal from rocks in mining. They were later adapted for use on stage or in films, often covered with packs of stage blood or other materials to simulate bullet strikes.

HIDEOUS!
Full Moon Pictures, 1997

PRODUCERS
David DeFalco and Michael Feichtner (executive producers), Charles Band, Kirk Edward Hansen, and Vlad Paunescu (producers)

WRITERS
Benjamin Carr (script) and Charles Band (story)

DIRECTOR
Charles Band

STARS
Jerry O'Donnell (
Detective Kantor
), Jacqueline Lovell (
Sheila
), Tracie May (
Belinda Yost
), Rhonda Griffin (
Elvina
), Mel Johnson Jr. (
Napoleon Lazar
), and Michael Citriniti (
Dr. Lorca
)

Two rival collectors of preserved fetuses and other “medical oddities” (Citriniti and Johnson) and their staffs are trapped inside a house. Also present: a bizarre mutant who has reanimated a collection of deformed fetuses and turned them into tiny killing machines.

Why It Sucks

Well, for starters, it's a movie about reanimated malformed fetuses that turn a house into a death trap! It's got performers who are in overacting hyperdrive, chewing up the scenery and playing as if to the back of a very large theater. Just when you think the film can't get any more twisted … it does!

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Lamest Death Award goes to …
Rhonda Griffin (as Elvina), the dumb blond who gets a dumber death when she trips, falls, and dies, tumbling onto broken glass. Watch out next time you drop a glass on the kitchen floor!

And the Bad Feng Shui Award goes to …
Writers Charles Band and Benjamin Carr for dreaming up a house where a feature of the living room is a pit full of acid.

They Really Said It!

Napoleon Lazar
(to Sheila, who is dressed in hiking boots, shorts, and a gorilla mask): And what are you doing walking around like that, with no top on?

Sheila
: I'm free, I'm proud, I'm woman!

Betcha Didn't Know

Deformed fetuses (or “medical oddities,” as they are referred to in
Hideous!
) displayed in glass jars used to be among the most popular attractions at carnival sideshows.

Charles Band brought Dr. Lorca back in the 2010 film
Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons
. Apparently, he too escaped from the acid pit. Sadly, topless Sheila is nowhere to be seen in that movie.

Trivia Quiz

What term was typically used to describe the “medical oddities” displayed in glass jars in sideshows?

A: Little Dead Things

B: Hideous Deformities

C: Pickled Punks

D: Bathed Babies

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