500 Days (69 page)

I stepped away from Jaxson. “Hey Trey,
you’re not looking too bad yourself.”

Trey was shoved into the fridge by a large
tattooed arm. “No,” Jasper growled. Trey put his hands up and
walked away. I rolled my eyes and left the boys in the kitchen, not
wanting to let them ruin my night.

I spent most of my time on
the couch, avoiding Declan and my brothers. My mom was busy
entertaining the boys’ friends. Just before nine, I made my way
into Jack’s room. I wished Jasper had put a lock on the door. I
didn’t want anyone to stumble in here. I walked around the room,
trailing my fingers lightly over his things. Everything was still
as it was. I sat down on the bed and lay
back. I pulled the covers over me and up to my nose, inhaling
what was left of Jack’s scent. I closed my eyes and Jack’s message
flashed into my head. It was like I was reliving it all over again.
There it was, everything he said in vivid color and surround
sound.

“
Don’t make the same
mistake I did Alex…Let your walls down…Don’t be afraid to give away
your heart.”

I sat up throwing the covers aside. “Damn
you Jack. Why did you have to get in my head like this?” I shook my
head, laughing. I was either drunker than I thought I was or truly
losing it. A moment later the door swung open and in stepped the
first man I ever gave myself to, to only have him stomp on it.

“
Alex, I’m sorry. I didn’t
know anyone was in here. Jasper told me I could put my jacket in
here, but I’ll leave if you want me to,” he shuffled his feet
uncomfortably.

I stood up and walked straight for him,
pushing the door closed behind him and backing him up against the
wall. I reached around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. I
could feel his surprise when I slipped my tongue inside his mouth.
It didn’t take him long before his hands were moving down my hips
and around to my back side. He squeezed and pulled me closer and
all I felt was nothing. I pulled back, smiling. “Happy New Year,
Colby.”

“
It is now,” he said,
giving me his movie star smile. He bent down ready for round two,
but I pulled back.

“
No, Colby.” He scrunched
his brow in confusion. I reached around him and turned the knob on
the door and pulled it ajar. “Thank you, for showing me what I
really want.” I walked around him and out the door. I didn’t know
if it was the flashbacks, or Jack’s constant whispers in my ear,
but something finally changed. The second I kissed Colby I knew
deep down, where my heart always belonged. I didn’t know why I
needed to kiss Colby to tell me that, but I’m glad I did. I ran
down the hall, grabbing my keys and jacket.

“
Whoa, where are you
going?” Jaxson said, stopping me.

“
Jaxson, I have somewhere
I need to be.”

“
Alex, you’re not
driving.” He swiped my keys from my hand.

“
Jaxson, I don’t have time
for this.”

“
What’s going on?” Declan
asked, coming up behind me.

“
I need to go but Jaxson
won’t give me my keys,” I growled, reaching out for
them.

“
You’re in no condition to
drive,” he said, tossing my keys at Jasper who overheard our
conversation.

I threw my hands up in frustration and
turned to Declan. “Can you take me to the train station?” I asked,
desperate.

“
To the train station? Why
do you…” her voice dropped off. “For real? You’re going to tell
him?”

I nodded. “Yes, but if we don’t get going
I’m never going to make it in time.”

Declan grabbed Colton. “Babe, we’re going to
New York,” she said, dragging him out the door.

“
Declan, no,” I called
after her. I caught up with them outside. “Declan, there is no
sense in ruining your night. Just drop me off and I promise I’ll
call you when I get there.”

“
First off, you’ll never
make it there in time by train. And second, there is no way I’m
going to let my best friend be alone in New York in that crazy-ass
crowd all by herself. We’re driving you, end of story.”

“
Are you sure?” I looked
over at poor Colton who was volunteered against his will to go
along.

“
I’m always up for an
adventure,” he smiled. “C’mon,” he tapped the hood. “Your prince
charming is waiting.” I stifled an eye roll and jogged to the car
with Declan. I barely got my seatbelt on before Colton stepped on
the gas.

Declan turned around in her seat, grinning
from ear to ear. “What changed your mind?”

I smiled softly, looking into her big blue
eyes. “Jack,” I sighed. She reached out for my hand.

My stomach was in knots the entire drive
there. Several times I wanted to say ‘take me back, I changed my
mind’, but the little voice in the back of my head kept telling me
to keep going. Declan kept yelling at Colton to hurry up. “I’m
going as fast as I can. Getting pulled over will not help us get
there any faster.” The long ride there had my head twirling with
all kinds of thoughts. What if he wasn’t there? What if he changed
his mind? What if I couldn’t find him and I blew my chance? And the
biggest question of all; is all this worth it?

Yes. Casper was worth it. I felt it in every
bone in my body. He was the one I wanted. The only one I wanted. I
always knew it, but fought it with everything I had. I didn’t want
to love. I didn’t want to give my heart to someone who would end up
crushing my very essence and soul, but Casper already owned them.
He took possession a long time ago and kept them locked up in a
precious chest safely. Keeping them tucked away until I was ready
to let him completely have me. I was ready. I had never been so
ready in my life. I wanted him to consume me. To take every piece
of me and make me his now and forever.

I gripped the door handle as we crept closer
to New York. We were inside the Lincoln Tunnel. The pressure was
getting to me and I felt like the walls were closing in. I put my
head between my legs trying to breathe. “Are you okay back there?”
Declan asked.

“
Maybe this isn’t such a
good idea. Maybe we should go back,” I said, letting my nerves get
the best of me.

“
Alex, look at me,” Declan
demanded.

I peered up at her from my slouched position
in the backseat. “Do you love Casper?” I nodded. “No, I want to
hear you say it.”

“
I love…Casper.” I sat up
taller. Her eyes started to glow and her grin widened as she
giggled. I looked at her funny.

“
That’s the first time you
admitted it.”

“
I love Casper,” I said
again, stronger.

“
Then we’re going to find
him,” she said with determination.

We were out of the tunnel now but slowing
down. Traffic was horrific and at this point I might not ever make
it. Over two hours spent in the car with these two and now we were
stuck in traffic. I looked at my cell phone. It was eleven thirty.
I had half an hour to find him and tell him I loved him before I
lost him forever. Thirty minutes just didn’t seem like enough time.
We were ten minutes away from Port Authority which was only a few
blocks from Time Square which would also be crowded with millions
of people.

“
Did you try calling him?”
Declan asked, looking as panicked as I did.

“
It keeps going straight
to voicemail.” The car was now moving at a slow creep and with
bumper to bumper traffic there was no way we were going to make it
in time. I made the decision to run. When the car came to a stop, I
opened the door, and jumped out.

“
Whoa! Where the hell are
you going?” Declan cried out the window.

I slammed the door and turned to her
quickly. “The bus station is right there and it’s only a few blocks
that way where I have to be. It’s the only way I’m going to make
it. I have to run Declan.”

“
Okay,” she nodded. “As
soon as we find a place to park we’ll come find you. Good
luck.”

“
Thank you,” I said,
kissing her cheek. “And not just for tonight for –”

“
Thank me
later.”

“
Right.” And with that I
was off, sprinting down the street and dodging cars and people.
This place was a mess and I was scared I would never find him. I
tried calling him again, but even if he did pick up I wouldn’t be
able to hear him in this roaring crowd.

I was only a few blocks away from my
destination but the mass of people was slowing down my pace. I
fought my way through, pissing people off left and right. The tower
was now in view and the clock said I had fifteen minutes before
midnight. I wasn’t going to make it. I was never going to find him.
I refused to give up. I cupped my hands over my mouth and started
shouting his name. “Casper!”

People looked at me like I was nuts. I kept
shouting his name as I tore through the crowd hoping that he
somehow heard me. “Casper!” My voice was only a tiny echo of the
noise around me. I looked at the clock. I had ten minutes until
midnight. My pulse was pounding and my heart was thumping so loud
in my chest I thought it would burst out any second. “Casper!”

I thought I saw a familiar Mo-hawk.
“Casper!” I cried again. The Mo-hawk tilted to the side and his
body shifted enough that I could see a slight profile. It was him!
I knew it was. “Please, I need to get through,” I begged as the
people huddled closer together.

I looked up to see Casper moving. Had he
given up already? Was he leaving? I was getting desperate. “Please,
move out of my way!” No one budged. I was ready to take down
everyone in my way. “Look, I have less than five minutes to get to
that man up there and tell him I love him before he walks out of my
life and I never see him again.” An older women and her husband
looked at me and smiled, leaving room for me to pass. “Thank
you.”

“
Well you heard the lady.
Move out of her way,” the woman shouted, ushering me on. Soon there
was a small path that opened up.

“
Casper!” I yelled, hoping
he somehow heard me. The woman and man followed me, making sure
people cleared the way.

“
What does he look like,
sweetheart?” the woman asked.

“
Him, right over there!” I
pointed in the direction of Casper’s retreating back. “I’m never
going to get to him.” The crowd no longer moved now the countdown
was nearing. The woman’s husband turned over a trash can and jumped
on top of it.

“
What’s his name?” he
asked me.

“
Casper.”

He cupped his mouth as I had and started
shouting. “Casper! Casper!” Everyone turned around to see the
spectacle. A cop noticed the man on the trash can and tried to get
through the crowd to get him to get down. No one would let the cop
through.

“
Casper!” I cried again
and again. Waving my arms in the air, praying he could see me. The
more I tried the further he got away. The cop managed to get
through the crowd and pull the man down. I was getting desperate. I
had barely five minutes left. The cop had a megaphone attached to
his belt and was currently distracted by the man who was trying to
help me. I slipped through and easily detached the megaphone,
making a run for it.

Trying to figure out how to work the
megaphone, it let out a loud squeal causing everyone to flinch and
cover their ears. “Sorry,” I cringed, staring at a hundred annoyed
faces.

“
Here honey,” the kind
woman who had been helping me said. She showed me the right button
to push.

“
Uh, Casper?” My voice
boomed on top of the crowd and suddenly I felt nervous. “Casper,
where are you?” My amplified voice brought the attention of the
officer who just now noticed his megaphone was missing. I shrieked
and ducked down. Shit. Now what? I looked around at the people who
circled me, feeling a thousand eyes judging me. A man in a military
uniform reached out his hand to me.

“
You look like you need
some help,” he offered. I hesitantly took it and he pulled me to my
feet. He reminded me so much of Jack it took me a second to find my
bearings. Forgetting I was wearing them, the marine lifted Jack’s
tags.

“
My brother,” I said, my
lips trembling. He nodded with respect and whistled with his
fingers in his mouth. Four more marines moved through the
crowd.

“
Men, this young woman
needs our help. Form a circle around her.”

“
Yes sir,” they saluted
and did what he said, no questions asked.

He turned back to me. “I believe you need to
tell someone you love them,” he gestured to the megaphone.

“
But how’d
you?”

“
Seen enough movies, read
enough books, you tend to pick up on a few things.” I looked at him
quizzically. “Four sisters,” he smiled.

I laughed. “Four brothers.”

“
I knew there was reason I
needed to help you. My sisters would love to hear I was the hero
for once.”

I tugged on his uniform. “To them, you
already are.”

He smiled, blushing and gave me a slight
nod. “Allow me.” he bent down, lifting me off the ground in one
swift movement and hoisted me on to his shoulder.

“
Casper! Casper if you’re
still here. I love you!” The knot in stomach began to slither,
making its way up my throat threating to project out. I can’t
believe I just confessed my love to a man in front of all these
people. The second I uttered the words the crowd around me fell
silent and the officer stopped trying to get through the marines to
get his megaphone back.