A Beautiful Struggle (21 page)

I reached out and touched his face as I
sipped my drink, feeling the rough of his stubble starting to edge out of his
skin. He turned his head to kiss my hand, smiling at me like it was the most
natural thing in the world for us to be together. If it wasn’t for what the world
was like outside these walls, I would think that it was too, we seemed
inexplicably drawn together.

“I wish I had have gotten a job at a
different law firm,” I said suddenly to him.

“Why? You regretting meeting me?” he
teased.

“Of course not, besides - we still would
have met; you would have seen me running in the park and felt compelled to
start talking to me,” I smiled batting my eyelashes comically at him.

He raised his eyebrows thoughtfully, “You
know. I don’t know if I would have been that audacious if I didn’t know you
from the office,” he told me truthfully.

“Really?” The revelation surprised me.
“Well, I would have found a way to talk to you,” I reasoned.

“I’d hope so,” he picked up a spring roll
and swirled it in the sweet and sour sauce, taking a bite before he spoke
again, “You know,” he held his hand in front of his mouth as he cleared the
food away and swallowed. “I don’t like this situation either, when I’m around
you I want to touch you, and it sucks that I can’t always do that.”

I sighed and shook my head slightly, “Let’s
change the subject. This isn’t getting us anywhere; neither of us can change
the policy.”

“I’ve been thinking though, what if we both
changed jobs? We could look for work at two different law firms, that way we
can’t be affected by ‘no dating’ policies.”

The thought of being free to date openly
excited me. I would finally be able to touch him more than once a week.

“That’s a great idea. Would it be hard for
you to find another job? It’s pretty competitive out there isn’t it?” I asked.

“My dad’s a barrister, remember? He got me
this job. He should be able to help me out.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Is he ok
with you dating someone from your office?”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Oh, would he disapprove?” I probed,
feeling slightly disappointed that he hadn’t mentioned me to his father.

“I don’t know. We don’t talk about this
kind of stuff.” His demeanour changed as he shifted in his seat, giving me the
impression that he wasn’t really interested in talking much about his dad, so I
left the subject alone.

“Ok, well I guess I could start looking for
a different job next week? – maybe get the paper tomorrow and go through the
jobs section.”

“So it’s settled then?” he asked, a gleam
in his eyes as excitement settled in.

 “Yes, it’s settled - new jobs it is,” I
agreed as we clinked our glasses together in toast to our newly decided plan.

Turning back to our food we ate quietly for
a while. I had no idea what was going through Elliot’s head but in mine, I was
going over this decision, it meant that things were moving forward for us and
becoming a bit more serious.

I knew I was falling hard for Elliot, and I
was hoping that he felt the same way about me. I was worried that maybe this
thing between us was only this intense because we had to hide it. What if we
had met under different circumstances? Would we still be this attracted to each
other?

“Would you like to watch a movie tonight?”
Elliot asked me, interrupting my thoughts.

“Do you think you can keep your hands off
me for that long?” I asked him in a sultry voice.

“I’m not guaranteeing anything,” he replied
as he got up and took our plates to the sink, rinsing them. “All of the DVDs
are in the cupboard next to the TV. You can choose while I clear up in here if
you like.”

I took my glass of wine with me and walked
through to the lounge room, opening the door to peruse the selection of movies.
“Do you have any preferences?” I called out to him. The choices were what you
would expect from a guy, big blockbuster action movies, some more obscure kung
fu type movies and a smattering of documentaries.

“Not really, pick anything you think you’ll
like,” he called back.

Choosing a movie I hadn’t seen yet, I put
it in the DVD player. I was standing in front of the television trying to work
out the remote control when Elliot joined me holding his own glass of wine and
the rest of the bottle.

“Which one did you choose?”

“Indiana Jones.”

He smiled, remembering our lift encounter,
“You still haven’t seen that?”

I smiled, “Not yet. I think I chose the
first one – I saw there were a few in there.”

Elliot glanced over at the case and nodded,
indicating that I had made the right choice.

Elliot set the bottle and his glass on the
coffee table and sat on the lounge. Joining him, I handed him the remote,
snuggling in next to him as he put his arm around me. I rested my head on his
chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart beating as we watched the
movie.

***

I was in the bathroom getting ready to go
out the next night after having spent an entire 24 hours with Elliot. As was
expected, he got a little frisky through the movie last night, and we didn’t
quite make it to the end.

We had gone swimming at the Bondi outdoor
pool that morning and for once we got to behave like a couple and be a little
playful together in the water after we had finished our laps. Spending the rest
of the day lying on the beach, talking and playing in the surf before going
back to Elliot’s flat, making love and falling asleep together - tired out from
all the sun.

I sighed contentedly to myself as I ran my
straightening iron through my hair. I applied only a small amount of foundation
to cover my scar and even out my skin tone, I then added a brush of mascara and
some rose coloured lip gloss, dabbing a little on my cheeks as well to give me
that flushed girly look.

When I left the bathroom, I found Elliot
waiting for me in the lounge room flicking through the channels on the TV. He
switched it off as I approached and let out an appreciative whistle. I spun
around and posed a little, enjoying the way he looked at me. Being with Elliot
did wonders for my self-esteem – if a guy that good looking considered me
gorgeous; well, I wasn’t going to argue!

I was wearing a black strapless dress
covered with small red printed flowers. It had a fitted bodice and a loose
flowing skirt that ended just above mid-thigh. I thought it was very feminine
and was great for showing off my legs. I topped it off with a pair of red
strappy heels.

“You look stunning,” Elliot said as he got
up and walked towards me, hugging me to him and kissing my neck.

“You’re looking pretty gorgeous yourself,”
I told him, smoothing my hands over his rock-hard chest. He was wearing dark
denim jeans that hugged his arse and his package perfectly and an emerald green
short-sleeved button up cotton shirt. The muscles in his arms strained against
the cuff of his sleeves, I couldn’t help but run my hands down his arms to feel
the rise and fall of each muscle with my fingertips.

“I think we had better get going before I
take you back to bed and throw that dress on the floor,” he growled into my
ear.

I looked at him in pretend horror, loving
every moment that his eyes devoured my body, and his hands wandered over my
skin. I doubt I would have fought him if he had carried me to his room and made
good on that promise.

“We have to go outside and wait for the cab
anyway,” he told me taking my hand and leading me to the door. “Do you need to
get your purse?”

“No, my ID’s in my bra along with my
emergency money and ATM card.”

He laughed and shook his head, “I’ll have
to remember that later.”

The cab pulled up almost the second we
stepped out of the door. Elliot asked the driver to take us to a nightclub I
had never heard of before. He told me that we’d probably see some of his
friends there but not to worry because they would love me.

Upon arrival, we walked to the front of the
line, and Elliot spoke to the bouncer, shaking hands and sharing a joke with
him. The bouncer unclipped the barrier rope and allowed us through, Elliot then
told me that he used to work as a bouncer at the club while he was at uni and
still knew a few of the guys working there.

Once inside, Elliot asked me what I wanted
to drink and lined up at the bar while I scouted a table to sit at. As he was
making his way over to me with our drinks, I saw him being stopped by another
couple. He was smiling and chatting to them, so I figured they must have been
friends of his. Indicating that he was heading over to me, he continued toward
me, bringing them over to join us.

I thanked Elliot as he handed me my drink.
He leaned close to me, so I could hear him over the music, “Katrina, this is a
friend of mine – Gary, and his girlfriend Stephanie. Gary and I went to uni
together.” I shook hands with both Gary and Stephanie as Elliot yelled to them,
“This is my girlfriend – Katrina.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” we all yelled at
each other.

Stephanie leaned towards my ear to talk as
Elliot and Gary caught up, “Wow, I don’t think I have ever met one of Elliot’s
girlfriends before; you must be pretty special.”

I felt myself blush a little, “Oh, I don’t
know about that.”

“So how do you two know each other?”

“We work together.”

“Really? I thought Elliot wasn’t allowed to
date at work.”

“Why? Has he wanted to before?”

She laughed and shook her head, “No, I just
remember him mentioning it when he started. Gary thought it was a pretty crappy
policy.”

“Don’t we all?! So how long have you known
Elliot?”

“A couple of years or so, I started dating
Gary when they were in their final year at uni. How about you? How long have
you known Elliot?”

“A couple of months. Since I started work.”

“And how long have you been dating him?”

“About a month properly, before that we
were just getting to know each other.”

She nodded, looking thoughtfully at Elliot
and Gary talking, “There are going to be a lot of girls around here that are
going to hate you for snagging him.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, “Is there
anywhere that doesn’t have girls crushing on Elliot?”

She laughed again, “I don’t think that’s
possible.”

I shrugged my shoulders and gave her a look
that said ‘well there you go’.

A group of three guys and two girls came
over and said hello to Elliot, Gary and Stephanie. It was a flurry of hand
clapping, shoulder slapping and cheek kissing. One of the girls lingered with
her hand on Elliot’s shoulder, and I felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of my
stomach. It was short-lived as he reached out for me and brought me to his
side, introducing me to the group. I didn’t really catch their names, but I
nodded hello and shook hands smiling politely, the girl who had been clinging
to Elliot gave me a fake bright smile and shook my hand very weakly.

“So this is your local hang out?” I asked
Elliot. One of the other guys; I thought his name was Michael – announced that
he was buying a round and took off for the bar.

Elliot smiled after him before turning his
attention back towards me, “Yeah it is, I’ve known most of these guys since
uni, a couple I know from when I was a bouncer here.” He leaned in and briefly
kissed me, pulling back to look at me slightly concerned, “You’re ok here
aren’t you? Are you having fun?”

“I’m fine, Elliot – I’m having a good
time,” I smiled brightly to show him I meant what I said and kissed him back –
and I did mean what I said, I was having a good time; it was great to see
Elliot in his element as well as to meet his friends. It made me feel more like
his girlfriend and less like a dirty little secret.

The guy I thought was called Michael came
back to the table with a tray full of tequila shots, a bowl full of lemon
wedges and sachets of salt.

“Alright everyone, lick your hands and hold
them out,” he bellowed over the music, shaking salt on the back of our hands
between our thumb and index fingers. One of the others handed out the lemon
wedges, and another handed out the tequila shots.

Michael called out “Ready! Go!” and we all
licked the salt, knocked back the tequila and sucked on the lemon, dropping the
rind back on the tray as we all made noises about how much the alcohol burned
on its way down our throats.

“I swear that stuff removes your nose
hairs!” yelled Stephanie.

I nodded in agreement. I felt as though my
own sinuses were much clearer after that shot.

“Time for another!” one of the other guys
called as he came over with a new loaded tray.

“Holy shit!” I said laughing as I was
already starting to feel the effect of the alcohol all the way down to my feet.

“You don’t have to do them if you don’t
want to,” Elliot assured me.