A Beautiful Struggle (9 page)

As soon as I had calmed down, we walked arm
in arm towards the train station, remembering half way there that we were
supposed to catch the train back with Carmen.

Feeling guilty I stopped to call her and
tell her where we were. She asked for us to wait for her to catch up, so we
stood and chatted while we paused.

“I wasn’t going to do anything with
Bianca,” he said during a quiet moment. “Well, not tonight anyway,” he added
with that lopsided grin of his.

I couldn’t help but smile back, “It doesn’t
matter David. You can sleep with whoever you like. I just sort of panicked
about Bianca tonight - because I’m pretty sure she might be a siren and would
eat you if you got too close,” I told him, trying to lighten up the mood a bit.

He laughed a little through his nose, but
stayed fairly serious. “So are you going to tell me what’s been going on with
Elliot?”

I took a deep breath, not really wanting to
share, but I told him about how we had been training together and that there
were a couple of charged moments between us when we did. I then told him how I
had been confused because of how Elliot was running so hot and cold whenever we
were near people from the office.

As I finished David looked over my shoulder
and lifted his head upwards to tell me someone was approaching. I turned around
and saw Carmen walking towards us with both Andrew and Elliot.

“Hi!” she said brightly. “Thanks for
waiting for me, I hate catching the train home by myself this late at night, I
normally go home much earlier than this.” Elliot stood beside her watching me
intently, his eyes dark and serious.

“No worries,” I said to her trying to
mirror her smile as I tried to ignore Elliot’s gaze as it bore through me. “Do
you need a ride home at all? My car is at the station.”

“Will you be sober enough to drive home?”
asked Andrew.

“I’ll be fine,” I assured him, “I only had
a few drinks. It takes an hour and a half to get home at this time of night so
I’ll be well and truly sober by then.”

“I’d love a ride home, thanks,” Carmen
accepted, reaching up to Andrew and giving him a quick kiss goodbye. I watched
the exchange and realised that Albina was right, the 'no dating' rule doesn’t
really stop anyone at all. However, it could definitely cause problems if the
wrong people knew about you.

Elliot touched my hand and lifted it toward
him a little, “Can we talk before you go?”

I nodded and squeezed David’s arm to
reassure him that I was fine before walking a few steps away to talk to Elliot
more privately.

“Listen about tonight, I’m sorry if I
pushed you or embarrassed you in any way.”

“You didn’t Elliot, I embarrassed myself.”

He studied my face for a moment, gauging my
state of mind, before he continued, “Listen, about Beth – there’s nothing going
on with her, there never has been.  I was only talking to her because she’s my
PA. I know she has a thing for me, but I try not to encourage it. Putting my
arm around her tonight was… a lapse in judgement,” he ran his fingers though
his hair causing it to stick up at odd an angle, I curled my hands into fists
as I resisted the urge to reach up and smooth it down for him. He frowned in
thought and continued, “She was flirting with me, and I didn’t want to be a
jerk and just ignore her – so I tried to be friendly – but not too friendly,”
he shook his head and frowned again. “Obviously that’s not what it looked like
though… Listen, I spend time with you because I’m interested in you – I’m not
interested in her; or anyone else.” He reached out and brushed the backs of his
fingers along my cheek, and I once again closed my eyes as his touch sent
pleasure ripples through my body. “I hated seeing you dance with that guy
tonight,” he whispered as he stepped closer to me.

My head was clouded by his proximity, and I
was finding it hard to breathe, let alone speak. I floundered for my words, “I…
I don’t know if I am ready for this Elliot. I don’t know if I can do this. It’s
all too fast.”

“Then we’ll take it as slow as you want.
Because, I don’t think I could stay away from you, even if I wanted to,” he
pulled me closer to him and my breath caught as he leaned down and kissed me
slowly. I felt like jelly in his arms as I relaxed against the hard plains of
his body, languishing in the feeling of his mouth on mine. Out of breath, I
felt as though I was trembling as we pulled apart from each other.

“Give me your phone,” he released me and
held out his hand. I fumbled through my bag and handed it to him, watching as
he tapped in his number and called his own phone. “There, now we both have each
other’s numbers,” he told me, as he handed me back my phone. I looked at my
call list and noticed he saved it under ‘Evan’ and smiled to myself.

“We ready? There will be a train soon,”
called out David impatiently.

“Ok, we’re coming,” I told him. We all
walked together toward Town Hall Station. Elliot took my hand and interlaced
our fingers leaning in close to me. Carmen and Andrew held hands as well; David
was the odd man out walking beside me with his hands in his pockets, and his
head down. He had become very quiet, and I was worried about him.

Upon reaching the station we saw that the
train was due in within a minute. David, Carmen and I said a quick good bye,
rushed down the stairs to the platform as the train was pulling in and walked
straight on board.

There were plenty of seats at that time of
the night, so we settled in at the front of the carriage where we could face
each other and chat on the way home. I spoke to Carmen, about how long she had
been dating Andrew. She told me that they had been together for nearly a year.
I was surprised that there hadn’t been any repercussions at work for them.

“The no dating policy only becomes a
problem if someone else has a problem with you dating. No one cares if Andrew
and I are together. We keep to ourselves. Let’s face it, he’s no Elliot, so no
one really takes any notice of us. You on the other hand, will have to be very
careful, especially after tonight. A lot of girls really like Elliot and they
are all going to have their noses out of joint when they find out he likes you.
He normally doesn’t give any of the girls the time of day, so you kissing him
in public after only a week, is going to ruffle some serious feathers.”

I leant back in the seat and let out a
heavy sigh, “I know. We're going to have to hide it.”

David sat forward frowning, “Listen, this may
not be any of my business here but do you think that’s wise? I’m all for you
moving on, but I don’t know if a secret relationship is a good thing for you
Katrina,” he pointed out haughtily.

“No David, I don’t think it’s wise,” I
sighed again and looked out the window at the passing lights of the tunnel,
“but I can’t stop thinking about him – I feel drawn to him, and I need to find
out where that takes us; without either of us losing our jobs.”

“I just want you to think about this
seriously Trina. Before you were saying you didn’t want a relationship, and
that it was all happening too fast. Now you’re talking about risking your job
for a guy you’ve only known a week – You’re flip flopping,” he crossed his arms
over his chest and put his feet on the seat across from him, doing exactly what
the sign above his head told him not to do.

“I know what I’m doing David,” I assured
him.

“Well, I’m glad you know,” he mumbled as he
chewed on his thumb nail and stared out the window. I watched him for a moment
as he only chewed his nails when he was agitated about something. He turned and
met my eyes, and I knew from his look that then wasn’t the time to talk to him.

Instead, I turned to Carmen, and we talked
easily the rest of the way home with David only entering the conversation
occasionally when Carmen asked him a direct question.

When the train pulled into Penrith Station
David walked us both over the bridge and to my car.

“Will you come over tomorrow?” I asked him
before he left.

He leaned forward and kissed me roughly on
the cheek, “Sure,” he said and raised his hand to say goodbye to Carmen. “It
was nice to meet you,” he told her.

“You too,” she said quietly. “Is there
something going on between you two?” she asked as she got into the car, “I
mean, did you use to date or something?”

I started the car as soon as I saw David
get inside his own. “No. We have never dated and there is nothing going on.
He’s just … protective of me; we’ve been through a lot together... as friends.”

The explanation placated her, so she didn’t
ask any more questions, instead making small talk as she directed me towards
her house. She thanked me for the lift as she got out of the car.

“You’re more than welcome,” I replied, “It
was nice to get to know you tonight.”

“Same to you and good luck with Elliot -
it’s nice to see him smiling,” she said as she shut the door and waved to me
before walking up the path that led to her door.

I watched until I saw her step inside her
house. I put the car into drive and said to myself, “Luck huh? I think I’m
going to need it.”

“Katrina! Wake up!” my mother called as she
shook me from my sleep. Startled, I looked at her worried that something
terrible had happened. “You were moaning and whimpering in your sleep! I could
hear you from the kitchen,” she told me, her face was full of concern. “It
sounded like you were having a nightmare.”  

Pieces of the dream came floating back to
me and the throbbing between legs told me that my dream wasn’t scary at all. I
sat up awkwardly and cleared my throat, “Mum, I’m fine… I don’t even remember
what it was.”

“Oh look at you, you're all flushed,” she
attempted to reach out and smooth my hair like she always had when she thought
I was upset. Moving my head to the side, I caught her hand and patted it reassuringly.

“Seriously mum I’m fine… thanks for
worrying about me though.”

“Ok, well – as long as you’re sure….I’ll
let you get dressed then,” she offered as she stood up and backed out of the
room, “I was thinking of making eggs, do you want some or are you training
first?”

“I’ll train first,” she nodded and shut my
door on her way out.

I put my hands to my head as I lay back
down on my bed remembering the dream I was having. I could see it clearly now -
Elliot was settled in between my thighs lapping away like a pro; it felt
incredibly real!
I can’t believe I was moaning so loud my mother heard me!

My face felt like it was on fire from both
the dream and the embarrassment - I would have to remember to lock my door in
the future.

I shifted a little in my bed. My clit was
aching badly from the effects of the dream, it seemed a shame to waste such
intense arousal – I bit my lip in daring, feeling pretty safe that my mother
wasn’t going to return any time soon, and decided to finish what my dream had
started.

Closing my eyes, I slid my hand inside my
pyjama bottoms and into my panties. I was so aroused that my body flinched
involuntarily as my finger touched my sensitive spot and made its way between
my sleek wet folds. I let out a silent moan as I reached two fingers inside and
massaged my inner walls allowing the palm of my hand to press against my
engorged clit. Sheathed in my wetness, my fingers moved like they were gliding
over silk as I gently teased my own nub. Exploding in seconds, my core shattered
into a million pieces, floating around me euphorically.

Afterward, I lay there breathing for a
moment, my clit pulsing beneath my finger, thinking of nothing but him.

***

Grabbing an apple to eat before I started
training I went and hitched my bike up to the back of my car. I wanted to go
and visit Penrith lakes and ride around there for a couple of hours.

“Hey, where you going?” David asked as he
walked up behind me, “I thought you wanted me to come around?”

“I did but I wasn’t expecting you so
early,” I told him glancing at my watch. “It’s eight fifteen; you're never out
of bed at this time on a Saturday.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he said
looking at his feet as he scuffed them on the driveway.

“Why don’t you come for a ride with me,
that way we can talk,” I offered, wanting to clear the air between us.

“Sure, I’ll just run home and change. Meet
me there?” I nodded as he trotted off.

David only lived a couple of streets away
from me. It was part of the reason we became such good friends during school.
We lived at the far end of the bus route to school, so we got used to talking
to each other and eventually started hanging out more often until we were
inseparable.

I finished hooking up my push bike and went
inside to get my helmet and bag. Dropping them onto the back seat, I got in my
car and drove around to David’s house. He had opened his garage knowing that I
would load his bike for him while he changed.

I was tightening the bolt on the bike rack
when he emerged from his house carrying his helmet and a water bottle. He
walked over to the garage and pulled the door down before we got into the car
and drove out to the Lakes.