Read A Beautiful Struggle Online
Authors: Lilliana Anderson
I smiled and dug out a bit of bravado
saying, “Well, if I had known I was going to show you up, I would have covered
up a little more.” He laughed and continued stretching.
After watching him for a moment, I chewed
my lip as I worked up the courage to say, “Show me your abs then.”
He raised his eyebrows, and slowly
complied. I think I held my breath as I watched, noticing that a couple of the
women around us had craned their necks to have a look as well. I slowed the
tread mill down and jumped off, walking closer to him and making a big show of
inspecting him.
“Nothing wrong with them,” I told him, my
voice deeper and more breathy than I intended. I admired his six pack by
running my fingertips over the ridges – they were much more defined than mine
were, I could see the hint of that sexy V shape that men get peeking over the
waist band of his shorts. I snatched my hand back as my insides clenched again,
and I purposely squeezed my inner muscles to try to get control of my arousal.
He cleared his throat and lowered his
shirt, “I cheated; I flexed them,” he said.
I laughed, and my laugh sounded seductive
too – what was going on with me? I stepped away again, gaining that
much-needed distance between us and took a deep breath to calm myself before I
spoke, “I saw that, but I wasn’t going to say anything,” I sounded much more
normal that time.
“So uh… do you have a set weights routine,
or do you just wing it?”
“Set routine,” I said with my normal tone,
producing the folded up piece of paper that I’d had tucked in the back zip
pocket of my running tights.
He took it from me, ensuring that our hands
connected when he did. The electricity between us shot up my arm and set me off
again. Pelvic floor exercises weren’t on that list, but I was definitely
getting a lot in today.
He unfolded the paper perusing the list of
exercises and took a step back from me. “You do cleans?” he asked.
“I do,” I said taking the piece of paper
back off him, not connecting this time. I spun on my heels and headed off to
the first exercise on my list with Elliot trailing behind me.
We moved around the gym following my
weights routine together. It was like a sweaty erotic dance between us - each
time I looked at him, I had to restrain myself from jumping on top of him and
running my tongue over those beautiful abs of his.
When we were finished, we both stood there
shaking out our muscles before dropping to the ground to stretch a bit to cool
down.
“So, I was watching you today,” Elliot
started. I raised my eyebrows suggestively; he smiled and went on, “I couldn’t
help but notice you’ve got some pretty decent scars – did you come off your
push bike or something?” Elliot asked me.
I instinctively touched my arms. “No, not
the bike; I wasn’t training when it happened. I ah, actually went through a
glass sliding door a while back.” I went on quickly with the story I have told
so many times recently, “I was lucky I put my arms up to protect my face, so I
only got this one,” I moved my hair to show him. He lifted his hand and touched
the one on my shoulder, sending those sparks of electricity through my body
again, curling my toes. I closed my eyes for a moment from the intimacy of his
touch.
“And this one?” he softly traced the scar
tissue along my shoulder, his voice deep and personal as he spoke. We locked
eyes for a moment, and you could feel the shift in the air. Electricity was
humming around us pulling us toward each other. I licked my lips as we drew
closer.
Don’t do this!
my common sense screamed.
I snapped my head back and let go of my
hair so it fell away from my face providing a curtain. Shooting to my feet, I
took a step away from him; I needed that distance between us. I needed us to
stay in the friend zone.
I touched my shoulder, cleared my throat
and answered him as if it hadn't seemed like he was about to kiss me, “Yeah
that one too; I went through like this.” I demonstrated the protective stance I
was in when I went crashing through the window. Trying to bring us back to the
easy banter we had enjoyed just moments before.
He looked down at the ground and seemed
slightly wounded by my retreat, but he followed my lead and tried to continue the
conversation, “So how did you manage to go through the window?”
I wasn’t going to answer that one fully,
that story turned me into a victim, and I wasn’t willing to be put in that box.
“Oh, just stupidity on my part,” I told him as I picked up the paper with my
routine on it, folded it and stuffed it into my pocket. “I’m going to hit the
showers, see you back at the office, or at drinks maybe.” I started heading
off, “Oh and thanks again for the pass – I owe you one.”
He just nodded at me and ran his hand
through his sweat slicked hair. My chest felt full and heavy as I carefully
breathed out on my way to the showers. What was going on here? I knew that I
was attracted to him, and I could tell there was something there for him too,
but I also knew we could both lose our jobs if we started seeing each other. I
had thought he was safe because of that, I really didn’t think he would do
anything to risk it – maybe I was wrong.
“You ready to head in?” Kayley called out
to me from the doorway of the library.
I popped my head up to look at her over the
partition, “Yep, just give me a sec to turn off my computer.” Clicking it
closed, I pushed myself away from my desk to walk with Kayley to my first
Friday night drinks.
Kayley had changed from the skirt and
blouse combination she had worn throughout the day to tight black pants, and a
matching singlet top covered in sequins. She had tied her dirty blonde hair up
into a messy ponytail and put on large gold hoop earrings, darker makeup and a
pair of cute red kitten heels.
“You look nice! Are we supposed to dress up
for this?” I asked her, looking down at my own outfit; I was wearing a pleated
brown, purple and white tartan skirt with a white three quarter sleeved blouse
and a purple sweater vest. I looked very dowdy in comparison.
“No you don’t have to dress up; some of us
just get changed to hit the clubs afterwards. You will be fine the way you
are,” she assured me. “Come on, let’s go.” She linked her arm in mine and
guided me towards the conference room.
I paused in the doorway and surveyed the
room as we entered, “I didn’t expect quite so many people,” I commented. There
were maybe 30 people inside, there was a fairly good mix of support staff to
solicitors and a couple of partners were in there too.
Music was playing at a reasonable level,
and the bar was laden with bottles of wine and beer as well as a couple of
spirits and soft drinks.
“Hi you made it!” Carl said as Kayley and I
walked towards our now usual group.
I smiled gratefully, as he reached over to
the bar and handed me a glass of white wine. Taking slow sips, I continued to
look around the room to see who was in attendance. My heart fell a little when
I couldn’t see Elliot anywhere. I didn’t think he was really going to talk to
me here, but I wanted to see him, especially after our near kiss that
afternoon. I felt that if he came, then our friendship was ok, but if he
didn't, then he was annoyed with me.
“Taking it all in?” Mary said as she moved
to stand next to me.
“Um, yeah,” I said as brightly as I could.
“This is the first time I have been to one of these things, so I didn’t really
know what to expect.” I snuck a glance toward the door as it opened to see who
entered.
To my disappointment, it was Bianca and
Beth. They walked inside and instantly started working the room. I had to hand
it to them – there were good. They spoke to all the solicitors as they passed
them on their way to sit down and chat to the partners, each person looked
pleased to chat with them. I guessed that Bianca saved her wrath only for those
she saw as a threat somehow. If I didn’t know any better, I could be mistaken
for thinking she was a nice person after witnessing her here.
“So, what did I miss?” a male voice asked
low and close to my ear.
“Who the hell let you in here?” I asked
David, as I spun around, happily embracing him. I looked at my watch, “You’re
early!”
“I followed the sounds of frivolity when I
got here, and someone was kind enough not to check who was behind them when
they keyed their code in the door.”
“Very James Bond of you,” I told him,
impressed.
“And I’m here early because I didn’t want
to go to drinks at my work tonight,” he leaned in close and said behind his
hand, “let’s say things are a little awkward right now between me and the girl
I banged in the filing room last month.”
I shook my head good naturedly and turned
my attention back to Kayley and the others.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your
very attractive friend here?” asked Albina, giving David an approving once
over. He smiled his ‘yeah, I’m hot’ smile and ran his fingers through his
already messy hair to move it out of his eyes. I noticed Albina lick her lips
seductively at him.
A humourless laugh escaped my lips; this
always happens when other girls know that David, and I aren’t together. I
suddenly become their gateway to becoming a notch on David’s bed post – the
last time I checked I wasn’t a pimp, so I gave a general introduction and
excused myself to go and freshen up before I dragged David out of there to go
and check out Darling Harbour.
As I left the conference room, my breath
caught a little. Elliot was coming towards me. A smile crept over my lips but
froze when I saw his eyes drift over my shoulder to check if anyone was
looking.
“Are you leaving?” he asked looking at his
watch. “I thought you were staying a while.”
“Not just yet. I’m going to the bathroom to
freshen up before I go out with my friend.”
He looked nervously at the conference room
again, “Ok. I might see you in there.”
I nodded and went into the bathroom to
reapply my makeup and brush my hair. I wished I had brought some clubbing
clothes with me now too, but my work clothes would have to do for tonight.
I sighed as I looked at my reflection; I
was good at making myself look casually pretty, but I was terrible at getting
dressed up for nights out on the town - something my mother tried to coach me
on, and I of course fought her on. Although I wished I’d listened a bit more
now.
I returned to the conference room, a lump
forming in my throat when I saw Bianca flicking her hair while talking to
David, the last thing I needed was for David to do his usual hump and dash with
someone I worked with – especially Bianca, I could only imagine how nasty she’d
get if she felt used by him.
“Hey,” I interrupted as cheerily as I could
focusing on David, “You about ready to go?”
“Ah, yeah sure – but these guys are all
heading off to Pontoon soon. You want to wait and go with them? It’ll be fun
with a big group.”
“We’d love it if you came,” Bianca cooed at
me but touched David’s arm.
“Oh, I don’t…” I started to say before
Kayley bounced over and excitedly told me that she was so happy I was going to
Pontoon with them. I finished my sentence under my breath, “…think it was ever
my decision. So why not.”
“It’ll be good for you,” David murmured
near my ear.
“Just keep your hands off the girls I work
with,” I warned him.
“Why? You jealous?” he challenged me.
“No, I just don’t need you…”
“Hi, I’m Elliot,” Elliot stuck his hand out
in greeting towards David, “you must be Katrina’s
friend,
” was that
jealousy I detected just then?
David took his hand and shook it firmly,
“Hey man, I’m David and yes I’m Katrina’s
best
friend.” They stood there
having one of those silent battles of the mind that males tend to have when
they are sizing each other up.
“Ok,” I interrupted the exchange, beginning
to feel uncomfortable – especially with Bianca watching; what the hell was
Elliot doing? “David, would you mind getting me another glass of wine?”
“Sure,” he said moving off towards the bar,
eyeing off Elliot.
“I’ll come too,” Bianca said trotting off
to join him and leaving Elliot, and I standing together. The noise in the room
was rising as everyone started to relax and become more animated with a couple
of drinks in them.
“Hi,” he smiled at me then cleared his
throat and looked as though he just realised where he was and went into office
mode. “How has your first week been?” he asked me politely.
Fine - I could play this game too, “Well
Elliot
my first week has been fine. I’ve met a lot of nice people, and my job is
pretty easy. Excuse me,” I said curtly and was about to turn and walk away,
when he gently touched my arm to stop me.
“Wait,” I turned around to look at him
again. “It’s probably none of my business but is that guy your boyfriend? You
seem pretty close.”
“Elliot, you’re absolutely right – it is
none of your business; but for future reference if I say someone is my friend
that’s exactly what they are.”