A Beautiful Struggle (11 page)

I walked confidently over to his office
determined to behave as professionally as possible. Waiving ‘hi’ to Beth, I
showed her that I was just taking some things into Elliot’s office. She nodded
at me but didn’t smile in return.

His door open, I tapped on the door frame
and waited for him to notice me. Elliot was seated behind his desk, talking on
the phone. During a pause in his side of the conversation he smiled, mouthing
‘hi' and gesturing me inside. I marvelled that a simple smile from him could
send my stomach excitedly flipping around inside my body.

I held up the items I had brought to him,
and he pointed to his 'in' tray. I placed them there, and Elliot held up his
hand signalling for me to wait while he continued talking and scribbled something
down on a post-it note for me.
Star City Sports Bar 6:30pm?
I nodded
before folding it and tucking it inside my pocket.

As I walked back Carl was wheeling a heavily
laden filing trolley down the hallway, “Hey!” he said brightly when he saw me.

“Hi Carl,” I smiled and stopped next to
him.

“Well aren’t you the topic of the week? I
was inside on Friday night so I missed the show. I heard it was hot though,” he
said, winking at me.

I flushed a little and had to stop a smile
from curling up the side of my lips, “I don’t know what you’re talking about
Carl.”

“Hmm, that’s what they all say. Just watch
yourself, ok. I’ve been privy to some pretty bitchy conversations – I don’t
think the other girls are taking it very well,” he said the last part in a low
exaggerated voice behind his hand.

I smiled and placed a friendly hand on his
arm, “Thanks for letting me know.”

I patted him on the back and returned to my
desk where my internal line was ringing. “Hello Library, Katrina speaking.”

“Hey, sorry I was on the phone,” Elliot’s
baritone rumbled through the line caressing me places it shouldn’t be over the
phone.

“Don’t sweat it, we can’t talk here anyway.
I think we’re being watched fairly closely right now.”

“Probably…You look hot today by the way,”
he whispered into the receiver.

I blushed and lowered my voice to a murmur,
“Thank you. You're not so bad yourself.”

I could practically hear him smiling, “Are
you running today?”

“I am - I’ll meet you there?”

“Sure, same place as last time.”

We disconnected, and I worked through until
morning tea time. I have to admit that after talking to Carl, I was nervous
about facing everyone.

When I entered the break room, there were a
few murmurs and stares as I lined up to get my coffee. I nodded hi to Kayley,
who was already seated and smiling at me as I walked over with my drink in
hand. Bianca took the opportunity to blatantly knock into me, spilling my
coffee on my skirt. I bit back a retort, choosing to ignore her behaviour as I
grabbed some paper towel and cleaned myself as best as I could. I was thankful
that I’d had the foresight to wear dark colours.

I sat down with Kayley, Albina and Anne.
“Wow, I feel like I’m back at high school,” I laughed uneasily.

Albina raised her eyebrows and said to me,
“Well you are public enemy number one at the moment. Bianca, and Beth are on a
rampage.”

Anne leaned in to talk quietly, “You should
have heard Bianca yesterday. She was telling everyone that she got you fired.”

“Well as you can see she didn’t,” I said.
“Listen, nothing’s going on and there’s nothing to talk about, Biancas
obviously trying to cause problems.”

“Kayley and Connor saw you too, so don’t
deny it,” added Albina.

“You know what, I was drinking. I don’t
really know what I saw,” said Kayley.

I smiled gratefully at her and sighed, “I
don’t know why everyone’s making a big deal out of it. I have known the guy for
a week.”

“Yeah and in that week you dry humped him
on a wharf,” said Albina.

I really didn’t think that anything I said
was going to convince them there was nothing between Elliot and I, so I stood
to take what was left of my coffee to my desk instead. As I was leaving, I
overheard Bianca saying, “Maybe he’s into boys, and that’s why.” I spun around
to give Bianca a piece of my mind as the others she was sitting with sniggered
at her comment. I opened my mouth to speak, but she got there first, “Are you
going to go and cut yourself now?”

The hatred I felt for her at that moment
could be heard crackling through the air – in my mind, I was pouncing on her
like an animal, clawing at her face and pulling out her hair; but in reality, I
shut my mouth and spun on my heel not gullible enough to start something in
front of everyone.

My face burned hot with humiliation as I
put a call through to Elliot, he picked up on the second ring. “Elliot
Roberts.”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey you, what’s up?”

“I really don’t think we should train
together.”

“What? Why?”

“Everyone in the break room was on my back
about Friday. I think it would be a mistake to be seen together anywhere.”

“Are you backing out on me?”

I sighed, not really knowing what I was
doing, “I don’t know, can we just cool it for a bit please? I have all this
animosity directed at me right now, and I need to take a step back.”

He was silent for a moment, “For how long?”

“I don’t know, a week - or until this all
dies down? I just … can we cool it for now, please?” I pleaded.

I could hear him sigh as his chair creaked
over the phone. I imagined that he was leaning back running his hand through
his hair. “Fine. I have to go,” he disconnected.

I looked at the phone with a pain in my
chest as I debated whether I was making the right decision by pulling back.

***

“I think you’re making the right decision,”
David said at lunch. I had decided to skip my run altogether and called him to
meet me at the food court in Sydney Tower instead. “Maybe get to know the guy a
little more before you enter some kind of secret relationship with him. If he’s
that into you, then he’ll wait til you’re more comfortable to move forward.”

“I just felt awful being the subject of
office gossip and that Bianca; I know I get along better with guys but I don’t
think I have ever hated another girl until now.”

“Maybe she just needs a good hard screw to
make her happy? I could do that for you Trina, I could take the fall on that
one – she may be a bitch but she’s hot.”

“And probably a bunny boiler! Do you really
want that in your life?”

“If it takes her focus off you,” he
shrugged.

“Are you serious? You actually like her?” I
was a little taken aback.

“Relax Trina, I’m just ribbing you. I’m not
going to touch her. Although, maybe you should look for another job?”

“No, I don’t want another job - Turner,
Barlow & Smith is a great law firm. I’d rather stick it out and become a
partner there so I can squash all my enemies like bugs!” I mashed my hands
together to add emphasis to my words, as David watched with amusement playing
on his lips.

Picking up my drink, I took a thoughtful
sip. “I’m just going to take morning tea to my desk from now on. I need to
avoid socialising,” I decided.

“That’s no fun! I was going to crash your
drinks again this Friday.”

“Not this week I’m afraid, I just want to
lay low for a while.”

“Alright, well do you want to grab some
dinner and go out afterwards we can go clubbing if you want and I promise not
to pick up any girls while we’re out.”

“That’ll be a challenge, but it sounds
good,” checking the time on my watch, I stood up. “I need to get back to work.”
I told him as I lifted my tray to empty it into the nearest bin.

David followed suit, “Yeah me too, back to
the ole grind hey,” he leaned toward me and kissed my cheek goodbye, “I’ll see
you at the library to study tomorrow?” I nodded, “And don’t worry about the
shit at work. It'll all blow over. Someone else will get caught making out
before you know it.” He gave me a cheeky grin and winked, lifting his hand in a
wave as he walked away.

Elliot was waiting for the lift when I
returned from lunch, he had obviously returned from his workout as he was in
his running gear, and his hair was wet with sweat.

“Hey,” I said moving to stand next to him.
“How was your run?”

“A little quiet,” he said with a half-smile
and down cast eyes.

I looked around and couldn’t see anyone
that I knew from our office in the group waiting or walking in the lobby, so I
inclined my head towards the door leading to the stairwell.

“You want to walk with me?”

He nodded and walked over to hold the door
open for me to walk through. I noticed him having one last look around before
he followed me in.

We ascended the first two flights in
silence before I began to talk. “Listen. I know I kind of freaked out today,
but you have to understand how I’m being treated right now. It’s like they
think I’ve come in and cast some spell to steal another girl’s boyfriend or
something. You know? Like I purposely chose the guy they have been crushing on
and cut their grass… Am I making sense?” I stopped on the landing and turned to
face him.

“You are - but they aren’t. I have been
working here for a couple of years now, and I don’t think I have given any of
them reason to think I was interested in them. I’ve always kept my distance,”
he explained with his hands on his hips.

“Well we have to keep it that way for now,
at least until all of this gossip dies down. It’s not affecting you because,
well, because you’re you – they consider you the prize. I’m seen as the
competition and I even got coffee spilt on me this morning because of it.”

“What?!" he said incredulously,
scanning my clothing.

“It’s fine. You can’t see it,” I waved him
off, “I just can’t be seen with you right now.”

Elliot let out a huff and shifted on his
feet, “Listen. I am one hundred percent in agreement that we have behave professionally
in the office. But I don’t see why we can’t still at least train together at
lunch time. I have never seen one of those girls on the running track or in the
gym, and last I checked there’s no policy against exercising with a co-worker
of the opposite sex.

“It was great training with you last week
Katrina, and if you will at least continue to do that with me then we can get
to know each other a little better and see where this all takes us.”

“I don’t know Elliot; I think our hormones
might be clouding our judgement here a bit.”

“Well, I know they’re clouding mine,” he
said stepping closer to me and lowering his voice, “the whole time you’ve been
talking to me, I can’t stop thinking about having those long legs of yours
wrapped around my waist again.” His closeness was intoxicating as I breathed
him in; his body scent mixed with his deodorant was earthy and raw. I closed my
eyes and forced myself to push away from him, placing my hand on his chest to
stop him moving closer to me.

“Fine, I’ll train with you,” my voice came
out embarrassingly breathy, and I could see his eyes darken with arousal. “But
this,” I gestured between us, “this attraction between us, needs to be kept in
check for now. We can’t go around stealing kisses from each other when we think
no one’s watching. That’s not why I brought you in here.”

He stepped away and let out a slow breath,
running his hands through his hair, scratching the back of his head.

“Ok, it’s a deal,” he said.

“Well then I will see you at the gym on
Friday?” He nodded in reply. “Wait here and I’ll go ahead. We don’t need to be
seen coming out of the stairwell together. They'll have a field day with that.”

Over the next few weeks things did calm
down at work, I didn’t go back to Friday night drinks and tried to spend as
little time in the break room as possible, opting to leave the library five
minutes early to make my coffee and bring it to my desk to drink while I surfed
the net or called David or my mum for a chat. Kayley would stop in on her way
back from the kitchen each day but said that she understood why I wanted to
stay away for the moment. She was just disappointed as she liked having me
around.

Training was going well. I was getting to
know Elliot better; I learned that he was 25 and that his parents were
divorced. He went into law because his father was a barrister, so he had a lot
to live up to and felt fairly pressured by him to be as successful, if not
more.

His mother didn’t work, she lived in
Parramatta with her new husband while Elliot lived in his Dad’s flat in Bondi.
His father had moved in with his fiancé but continued to pay Elliot’s housing
costs. Actually, his dad paid for everything.

I found that amazing because my brother,
and I paid board to continue living in our childhood home the moment we started
working – I couldn’t imagine having a credit card attached to my parent’s
account to use freely.