A Brief Moment in TIme (13 page)

She had to laugh at the way he’d turned the tables. Now she was the patient, and he was asking questions about her well-being.

“Embarrassing,” she shook her head. “I can’t believe I did that. I’m not usually such a klutz.”

“I really think you should deal with that negative emotion,” he teased.

“I’ll be fine,” she replied, putting a stop to his little game. “But thanks anyway.”

Not put off by her reproof, he sat watching her. She saw something in his eyes she hadn’t noticed before, but she wasn’t sure what it was. Concern, maybe. The rest of the family finally sat down, and Kathryn hoped the attention would now be diverted from her.

“So how often will Gavin be allowed to come home?” Sandra asked Kathryn.

“Every two weeks, for now. It should change to once a week by summer.”

“We really appreciate you doing this for Gavin,” Carol added.

Gavin shot a look her way, and Kathryn could tell that he wanted to respond to his mom’s comment. She even knew what he was about to say.

“Mom, Kate’s been teaching me some amazing stuff. It’s our thoughts that cause things to happen in our lives. Kate didn’t do this. I mean, she played a part in it, but it couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been vibrationally ready.”

Carol listened to her son’s explanation, but it was obvious that what she was hearing was new to her.

“Our minds are powerful. We create what we think about. I know why I created this experience. I understand it now.” He stopped, allowing his family to take in his words. “Do you remember what I was like...” He looked at each of them. “Before I went to prison?”

“I’m not sure what you mean?” His mother had a blank look on her face.

“I was like a car revved up to go with the breaks on. I wanted to experience life so badly, but it seemed as if everything was holding me back. I was a wild cat, caged up. I was angry at life, too; I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. In some ways I was already a prisoner. I wanted to know what it was like to be truly free, and now I’m finding out in a way that most people can’t imagine.”

Carol dabbed at her eyes as she listened to her son speak. His father, also moved by Gavin’s acknowledgment, cleared his throat.

Gavin’s insight continued to wow Kathryn. He was beyond her, spiritually. She’d thought about it before, but now as she listened to this young man, wise beyond his years, she wondered how much more she would be able to teach him, how much more value she would be to him. She felt sad at the thought of their sessions ending. The day would come; it was inevitable. Now it seemed closer than she’d anticipated, and she suddenly wished she could find a way to remain in Gavin’s life. Hers had already been changed dramatically just by knowing him.

CAROL LOOKED at her son, love and pride radiating from her face. “That makes so much sense, sweetheart. It can apply to us, then, too. We chose to be a part of this. And you know, I can honestly say I don’t regret it. My faith in God is stronger than ever. I look at people differently now. I’m more open and accepting. And,” she smiled, “I have a son that I couldn’t be more proud of.”

Gavin felt his own tears well up at his mother’s praise. Love and acceptance he had received and was truly grateful for, but pride was something he hadn’t dared to wish for. He was moved beyond words.

Sandra echoed her mother’s sentiment. “We’re all proud of you, Gavin. What you’ve gone through…I can’t begin to imagine. And now…” She was nearing tears as well. “You’re just such an amazing human being.”

Gavin couldn’t speak; emotion was all but choking him. All around him was an outpouring of love. Even Kate had a look on her face he had never seen before. It was love; he could feel it, but he was quite sure she wouldn’t define it as that. To her it probably felt like pride in his accomplishments or joy in being part of this reunion. But she’d know soon enough. He was confident of that. He’d seen it, and he believed in his visions.

Carol stood up and announced, “Well, I guess we have a schedule to keep. You two will have to be heading back to the city before long, and I want to set out a bite to eat before you go.” She stopped by Gavin’s chair and stroked his face lovingly. She still had tears in her eyes.

Gavin knew that showing emotion had been hard for his mom at one time, but she’d learned to do it. His father on the other hand—although kind, loving, and soft spoken—seemed extremely uncomfortable with displays of emotion. He’d always known how his father felt. A pat on the back, an unexpected gift—those were the kinds of things that disclosed his dad’s true feelings, and Gavin respected him for that.

He watched as his father stood to his feet and cleared his throat again, probably to remove the lump rather than speak. He patted Gavin’s shoulder and mumbled, “I have to...um...check on something out in the shop; can you let me know when supper’s ready?” With that, he walked out of the room.

Sandra’s husband had taken the girls downstairs after Kate’s mishap, and they were still there watching a movie. Sandra stood up, leaving Gavin and Kate sitting. She addressed them before walking out. “I’m going to help mom with the food. Kate, you stay put,” she instructed. “Gavin, you keep her company.”

Gavin raised his hand in mock salute to his older sister as she left the room. It was more for Kate’s amusement than anything else, because Sandra’s back was to him. When he turned to Kate, she was smiling, and he saw the same look in her eyes that he’d observed a few minutes earlier.

“How’s your ankle?” he inquired. “Does it hurt?”

“I can’t feel anything with the ice on it,” she replied. “I think it’ll be fine. Thanks for catching me, by the way. I might have done a lot more damage if you hadn’t.”

“My pleasure,” Gavin replied, remembering how wonderful it had been to hold Kate in his arms. He felt such an outflowing of love for her in that moment that he decided to share something else. “I kind of saw it happen.”

“I SHOULDN’T be surprised, Gavin,” she laughed, “but I am. Tell me what you saw, and when.”

“It’s kind of hard to explain; I mean...it happened so quickly. In my dream last night, I was holding your hand. And today, just before you tripped, I knew it was going to happen, so I grabbed your hand without thinking.”

“You dreamed you were holding my hand? I don’t understand.” Something strange was going on, and Kathryn was very much a part of it. Gavin had an odd look on his face; there was something he wasn’t saying. “You didn’t see me slip last night, did you?”

“No,” he admitted. “I saw us walking in the garden.”

Her discomfort began to increase. “What else have you seen in your visions?”

“Kate,” he said, sounding like the teacher, while she definitely felt like the student. “It would take days to tell you everything. I’m not sure now’s the right time.”

“I can respect that,” she conceded. “But Gavin, something is happening that I don’t understand. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know everything, but the things I’ve seen in you…they’re beyond what I’ve observed in anyone else I’ve worked with; it leaves me feeling...a little daunted.”

“I don’t want you to feel that way, Kate. You’re helping me so much. I don’t want that to change.”

“It doesn’t have to change, Gavin,” she assured him. “We can deal with whatever you’re experiencing. I’m sorry for implying it’s your fault in any way.

“You know,” she added quickly, wanting to repair the rift she may have caused. “I have no doubt that we’re meant to learn from each other. I’ve already learned so much from you. I wanted to tell you before that I’m proud of you, too. You are an amazing human being, just like Sandra said.”

“SUPPER’S READY,” Carol announced. “We’re going to eat casual, though. I’ve set everything on the table. We can all fill our plates and join Kate here in the living room. Gavin, can you go and call your father? Kate, I’ll dish a plate for you. What would you like? I’ve got cold sliced turkey and ham, brown or white buns, cheese…”

Gavin knew that Kate was in good hands. His mom thrived on helping people, fussing over them. He laughed to himself as he went to the shop to get his dad. He found him oiling a wooden object with a rag.

“What are you making, Dad?”

“It’s a picture frame. Your mother wanted to give Kate a little something for…you know…her part in this,” he explained uneasily. “She has a picture of the four of us taken at your last birthday. So I made a frame to go with it.”

Gavin took it from his father and examined it. “It’s great, Dad. Is this burled walnut?”

“Yup,” he replied. “Tough as nails to work with, but it sure polishes up nice.”

“It’s beautiful,” Gavin replied, rubbing his hand over the smooth oiled surface of the distinctively patterned wood. “I’m sure Kate will love it.”

“She’s a nice girl,” his father submitted. It sounded more like a suggestion than a statement, and Gavin had to smile.

“Yeah, she’s great.”

They walked back to the house, and no more words passed between them. Gavin respected how hard it was for his father to communicate his feelings, and he decided not to make things more uncomfortable by telling him how much he loved him, but he wanted to. More than that, he needed to. It could wait, however. He’d find the right moment.

The rest of the afternoon faded away quickly, and too soon it was time for goodbyes. He and Kate had to leave, but Gavin didn’t feel regret; he’d had a thoroughly enjoyable day, and he knew there would be more to come.

Everyone hugged both him and Kate, and tears flowed again. This time he noticed Kate wipe away a tear as she thanked his parents for the lovely gift. Gavin longed to hug her, too. He wanted to thank her for the incredible day, thank her for being a part of it, but it didn’t seem appropriate when she was leaving with him. Besides, they still had two hours together on the drive back.

He helped her to the car. She insisted she was able to drive. It was her left foot, and she could rest it as she drove. Gavin admired her spunk. She’d been through a lot in her life and seemed all the stronger for it. He sensed she was lonely though and wished he could help ease that for her. He was quiet with his thoughts as she drove the first stretch of the trip back. He wanted to tell her so much but knew that the time wasn’t right. He closed his eyes, finding the relief it brought. He’d hardly slept in the past twenty-four hours and was suddenly feeling the effects of it.

WITH THE DAY’S EVENTS still fresh, Kathryn let her mind sift through the overabundance of thoughts and feelings that had arisen. It felt like more than ten hours ago that she and Gavin had driven through Swenton’s gates; so much had happened. She wanted to talk more about the subject that had come up but after his comment, didn’t want to push it. She had to respect his silence if that’s what he needed.

Kathryn glanced over at him, wondering what he was thinking, and was surprised to find him sleeping. She smiled.
He mentioned he hadn’t slept much last night; he must be exhausted.
Maybe it’s just as well
.
She couldn’t help but speculate about what he’d seen in his visions, why he’d been holding her hand in the garden and why he was hesitant to share any more of it.

Although she truly hoped that he hadn’t developed romantic feelings for her, she suspected it was the case. Kathryn was quite sure now that’s what she’d seen in his eyes, and she felt responsible. She hadn’t been as careful as she’d been taught in relating to a patient.

Of course, he hadn’t actually said it, and she had no way of knowing for certain what he’d seen in his visions, but for a moment she allowed herself to think about it.
What if he’s fallen in love with me? It’s ridiculous of course. He’s six years younger than I am. I just happen to be the first woman he’s had any direct association with in seventeen years. Plus I’ve been part of some major emotional breakthroughs in his life. He’s demonstrating obvious symptoms of transference.

Addressing it would require tactfulness and sensitivity. It was something that had never come up in all Kathryn’s years of practice, but she had a colleague who had dealt with it and could give her advice.

She looked at Gavin for a moment. He seemed peaceful and relaxed after what had appeared to be a satisfying day. He’d been happy, and the exchange with his parents had been not only heartwarming to watch, but therapeutic for all involved. They were truly a remarkable family. Kathryn was honored to know them and be welcomed into their midst, even feel like one of them. She’d let herself be drawn into their warmth, and it was incredibly fulfilling. She hadn’t felt that in a long, long time.

She thought of Gavin’s touch and the feelings he had evoked in her that afternoon. Those were feelings she hadn’t felt in a long time as well.
It’s not Gavin,
she reasoned.
It could have happened with any man. He was just the first man to touch me like that since Kevin died. Not to mention he’s an amazing physical specimen. A body like that is bound to affect any living, breathing woman.
She glanced his way again.

All it means is that I’m ready to think about dating again,
she concluded, realizing for the first time that she may have been wrong hiding herself away from men for so long. The subject was still a little painful, but she knew she had to open herself up to it.
If I don’t
,
she analyzed,
I could fall prey to this kind of temptation
.