A Dash of Style (11 page)

I went to the movies on Tuesday afternoons, since that was when tickets were half price.

Remember, only use a colon if you must.

•As with all punctuation, the need to use the colon must be organic to the text. If a colon is forced onto a sentence—for example, in

order to try to force drama where there is none — then that colon will feel fake, and readers will resent it. A colon must never be forced to do the job of content. If a sentence is inherently dramatic, often a colon won't be needed; and when it is needed, it must flow seamlessly into the rhythm of the sentence. The more subtle the better, especially when it comes to the colon. It is such an inherently dramatic, attention-grabbing tool, that one must always tone it down. Forcing a colon into a sentence is like blasting a fog horn while waiting at a stop sign.

Here the colon is forced, making the sentence feel cheap:

The drums rolled, the curtain rose, and there she stood, in the spotlight: my favorite actress.

With the colon removed and some rearranging, it reads more naturally:

The drums rolled, the curtain rose, and there, in the spotlight, stood my favorite actress.

It is an inherently dramatic sentence; "my favorite actress" will shine either way. Using the colon is overkill.

"To be mulcted of our money and mutilated of our property is serious enough: to be deprived of our colon would be intolerable."

— Eric Partridge,
You Have a Point There

CONTEXT

Although the colon may be bossy, it is also sensitive: the punctuation surrounding it has great effect upon it. Likewise, it also has great effect upon other marks. There are many issues to consider when it comes to using the colon in context:

• In order to get maximum effect out of a colon, the text that precedes it should ideally be unimpeded by other punctuation, while the text that follows should flow unimpeded to the sentence's end. When no other punctuation marks exist, the text can race headlong into a colon and then race to a conclusion. The colon becomes the star player, shining by itself in the midst of the sentence. Of course, it needn't always be this way, and there are many fine examples of colons functioning well while commas and semicolons abound on either side. But this will maximize the colon's effect. Consider:

Halogen lamps, left on at night, can be dangerous, if not deadly: many fires have started as a direct result of their overheating.

The commas in this sentence detract from the impact of the colon. If we remove them, though, and keep just the colon, we can feel the difference:

Halogen lamps left on at night can be dangerous if not deadly: many fires have started as a direct result of their overheating.

If we go one step further and remove not just the commas but the clauses they contain, we can even more powerfully feel the colon's impact:

Halogen lamps can be deadly: many fires have started as a direct result of their overheating.

This example is more streamlined. The colon can shine here. We feel the sentence rush toward the moment of revelation, then rush to its conclusion.

As you can see, the colon, when used properly, tends to muscle other punctuation out of the way. When using it, beware: it will minimize your use of surrounding punctuation, or at the very least, swallow up their effect. It is the fighting fish in the tank of dociles, and eventually it will be the only fish left. The colon even detracts from the power of the period. For a period to have maximum power, readers shouldn't be slowed at any point throughout the sentence, and the colon slows them in a major way. With a near full stop before the final stop, the final stop is no longer so important. Consider:

Every time I try to speak she does it again: she interrupts me.

The major stop in the rhythm come after "again," thus detracting from the stopping power of the period. But if we remove the colon (and trim the sentence accordingly), then the period's power can be felt again:

Every time I try to speak she interrupts me.

The colon doesn't play well with semicolons either. A semicolon is a semi-full stop and implies it is the penultimate stop before the period. Theoretically a colon could follow a semicolon, but more often than not it would read awkwardly. There is rarely room for both of these giants in the universe of one sentence.

There are always exceptions, though, particularly in the hands

of a master author. In the following example from
The Autobiography of My Mother,
Jamaica Kincaid breaks the rules skillfully:

When my mother died, leaving me a small child vulnerable to all the world, my father took me and placed me in the care of the same woman he paid to wash his clothes. It is possible that he emphasized to her difference between the two bundles: one was his child, not his only child in the world but the only child he had with the only woman he had married so far; the other was his soiled clothes.

The colon here is a powerful choice, setting the stage to elaborate on the "difference" between the two "bundles" of clothing. And the semicolon, surprisingly, works well with it, forcing us to a stop right before the end of the sentence, and allowing a pithy contrast.

• The primary function of the colon is to flag something as important, whether it's a revelation, summary, conclusion, or a point that needs to be offset. The colon is a giant red flag. And if you flag every point as important, readers will stop taking it seriously. Imagine looking at two documents, one with dozens of red flags and the other with merely one. In the former, with everything marked as important, nothing will seem to be; in the latter, the one flagged point will be spotted immediately. It's all about context. When you overuse it, the colon loses its effect. Revelations will no longer have any import. To keep the colon strong, keep context in mind, and use it sparingly.

An example of a skillful (and unusual) placement of a colon in context of a paragraph comes from the opening of Jonathan Franzen's
The Corrections:

The madness of an autumn prairie cold front coming through. You could feel it: something terrible was going to happen. The sun low in the sky, a minor light, a cooling star. Gust after gust of disorder. Trees restless, temperatures falling, the whole northern religion of things coming to an end. No children in the yards here.

While the colon is normally used to culminate, Franzen goes against the grain and uses it here to
open
his novel. At first it might feel jarring, but as you read on, you realize it works well; instead of summarizing a paragraph, it sets the stage for one. With every sentence we read in its wake, we keep in the back of our minds that something terrible is going to happen. Note also the heavy use of the period here, the numerous short, incomplete sentences. The style is skillfully established within a few moments of the novel's opening.

WHAT YOUR USE OF THE COLON REVEALS ABOUT YOU

As with other punctuation marks, how you use (or don't use) the colon reveals a lot about you as a writer.

The overuse of the colon generally indicates an overly dramatic writer. This writer's primary concern is making a bang, slamming the reader with a revelation. His greater plot might likewise offer cheap revelations, shocking plot twists, uncovered secrets, surprise endings. Just as the writer who overuses the colon forces drama on a sentence to sentence basis, so will he likely employ more flash than substance. He is more likely to have a cat jump out and scare you than a long, slow build to genuine terror. He wants immediate gratification, and quick fixes.

Since the colon can be used to neatly summarize or conclude, the overuse of the colon can indicate the writer who likes to tie things into neat packages —not just on a sentence-to-sentence basis, but in the greater plot as well. His subplots might tie together too perfectly, his characters might journey through the too-perfect arc — he might even offer moral lessons to be learned. This writer is more inclined to write for the sum of all parts than for the parts themselves. He might be uncomfortable with morally ambiguous characters, and he will more likely people his work with straightforward good and evil characters.

The good news for this writer is that overuse bodes better than underuse. The writer who uses the colon at least has the reader in mind: he's trying to please, whether by offering a revelation, or a neat summary. And since the colon is fairly unusual, its overuse indicates a writer who grapples with the craft, who is interested in bettering his writing and in using every tool at his disposal. Assuming it is used properly, it indicates at least a slight level of sophistication, since the amateur is highly unlikely to overuse the colon, or indeed to use it at all.

Which brings us to the underuse (or absence) of the colon. The colon is a mark that never truly needs to appear in a work, and thus it is hard to criticize a text bereft of them. Nonetheless, there will inevitably be at least a few instances when a colon can be used to enhance, and thus its absence (when needed) might indicate a writer who, at the most basic level is less seasoned, unable or unwilling to experiment with nuances. He is also less likely to use other sophisticated marks, such as semicolons.

While the chronic user of the colon will be overly dramatic, the under-user will likely lack drama. He is likely a realist, creating reality-based characters and reality-based plots that are very accurate—yet also boring. Drama is not his main objective, and the writing may suffer for it. This is not a writer of revelations, nor is it one of tidy summary or conclusions. His characters are more likely to be

ambiguous, and not in a satisfying way. Endings are likely to be less satisfying. This is not the sum-of-all-parts writer: this writer writes for the parts themselves.

EXERCISES

Most writers are more likely to underuse the colon, or not use it at all. Thus in order to allow you to become comfortable with it, let's get acquainted with using the colon in all its forms. Practice using the colon:

• For a dramatic revelation. Find a moment in one of your works where you need to drop a bombshell, and yet it doesn't come across as strongly as it should. Incorporate a colon at the crucial moment. What difference does it make? Do you feel the revelation? Can you apply this technique elsewhere in your work?

• For summation. Choose a place in one of your works where you describe something at length and would like to conclude with an overall impression. Perhaps it's a passage where you describe a character or setting. As you conclude your description, use a colon at just the right moment. What difference does it make? Can you apply this technique elsewhere in your work?

• For a conclusion. While concluding a paragraph, section, chapter, or book with a colon can be heavy handed, sometimes it is needed. See if you can find a moment that concludes without the proper finality. Can you add a colon? What difference does it make? Can you apply this technique elsewhere in your work?

• For those of you who may, conversely, use too many colons, start with a colon count. How many colons appear on the first page? On

every page in the first chapter? What is the average number of colons per page? If more than two, cut back. Of course, that's only a first step. You must also ask yourself why you overused them to begin with. Are you writing in an overly dramatic way? Are you relying on punctuation to take the place of content?

• Take a close look at the instances when you do use a colon. Is it always truly necessary? Do the two halves of the sentence truly depend on each other? Does one build and the other reveal, or conclude? If not, remove the colon, or reconstruct the sentences so that each portion inherently feeds off the other.

THE DASH is built to interrupt. It can strike with no warning, cut you off, stop conversations in its tracks, and redirect content any way it pleases. It is perhaps the most aggressive of all punctuation marks, and will grab the spotlight whether you like it or not. In fact, the word "dash" aptly derives from "to dash," or to shatter or strike violently.

When discussing the dash, most grammarians find it significant only inasmuch as it should not be confused with a hyphen; often it is relegated to a sign of carelessness. What a shame. The dash is a beautiful, striking mark of punctuation, which can enhance creativity, and which is crucial for capturing certain forms of dialogue. The dash can, of course, indicate haste and sloppiness (as